🎺 BlunderBot: The Chess Shame Machine

Because every chess blunder deserves a wet fart sound effect

What is this monstrosity?

BlunderBot is a Discord bot that watches your Lichess games and provides completely unnecessary audio commentary on your chess moves. Think of it as that friend who laughs at your mistakes, except it's a robot and it never gets tired of your pain.

Features That Nobody Asked For

• 🎵 Real-time move analysis: Uses Stockfish to judge your every decision
• 🔊 Premium sound effects: From wet farts for blunders to airhorns for brilliant moves
• 👀 Stalker mode: Watches your games like a chess-obsessed helicopter parent
• 🤖 Discord integration: Because shame is better when shared with friends

Sound Effect Tier List

When You Make a Good Move (+50 to +300 centipawns):

• 📯 Airhorn (+300): For when you accidentally play like Magnus
• 💰 Price is Right (+150): Come on down! You're the next contestant on "Not Terrible at Chess!"

When You Blunder (-50 to -300 centipawns):

• 🎮 Minecraft Damage (-50): Oof but pixelated
• 😤 Bruh (-100): The universal sound of disappointment
• 🤕 Roblox Oof (-150): Death sound for your position
• 💨 Wet Fart (-300): For when you really, really messed up

Setup (If You Dare)

1. Prerequisites:

   • Node.js (because JavaScript is the only language that makes sense for chaos)
   • A Discord bot token (steal one from Discord's cookie jar)
   • A Stockfish server (or use someone else's, we won't tell)
   • The ability to handle public humiliation

2. Installation:

   npm install
   # Install your shame

3. Configuration:

   • Copy your Discord bot token to .env (it's already there, you're welcome)
   • Set up your STOCKFISH_SERVER_URL because we're too lazy to run Stockfish locally
   • Invite the bot to your server and give it voice channel permissions

4. Run the shame machine:

   npm start
   # Let the roasting begin

Commands

• /lichess <username> - Start stalking a Lichess player (with their consent, hopefully)
• /stop - Stop the madness (coward)
• /ping - Check if the bot is alive and ready to judge you

How It Works (The Magic Behind the Misery)

1. Stalking Phase: Bot polls Lichess API every 3 seconds to see if you're playing
2. Connection Phase: Opens WebSocket to your game like a chess paparazzi
3. Analysis Phase: Feeds your moves to Stockfish for professional judgment
4. Shame Phase: Calculates move quality and plays appropriate sound effect
5. Repeat: Until you rage quit or achieve chess enlightenment

Technical Details (For the Nerds)

• Built with Discord.js because we hate ourselves
• Uses Lichess WebSocket API for real-time game data
• Stockfish evaluation via HTTP API (because running engines is hard)
• Audio playback through Discord voice channels
• Dockerized for easy deployment to the cloud of shame

Contributing

Found a bug? Want to add more humiliating sound effects? PRs welcome! Just remember:

• Keep it family-friendly (ish)
• Test your changes (unlike your chess moves)
• Add more sound effects for different centipawn ranges
• Make the bot even more judgmental

Disclaimer

This bot may cause:

• Hurt feelings
• Improved chess play (through fear)
• Uncontrollable laughter from your Discord friends
• Existential crisis about your chess abilities
• Addiction to the sweet sound of airhorns

Use responsibly. The creators are not responsible for any chess rage, broken keyboards, or damaged egos.

License

MIT License - Because even shame should be open source.

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"In chess, as in life, every move is an opportunity to disappoint yourself publicly." - BlunderBot, probably