diff --git a/dat/tribute b/dat/tribute index a2944d7d6..9320f06f9 100644 --- a/dat/tribute +++ b/dat/tribute @@ -18,99 +18,98 @@ # river--they were eventually consolidated into Ankh-Morpork without # regard to which area was where) %passage 1 -It has been remarked before that those who are sensitive to radiations in -the far octarine--the eighth colour, the pigment of the Imagination--can -see things that others cannot. +之前有人说过, 那些能感知遥远奥克塔林辐射的人--这第八种颜色, 即为想象力的元素--可以 +看见他人无法察觉之物. -Thus it was that Rincewind, hurrying through the crowded, flare-lit, -evening bazaars of Morpork with the Luggage trundling behind him, jostled -a tall dark figure, turned to deliver a few suitable curses, and beheld -Death. +因此, 当灵思风与身后咯噔咯噔跟着的行李箱匆匆穿过莫波克拥挤的而且被火把照亮的 +莫波克的夜市时, 撞上了 +一个高大黑色的身影, 转身正打算送上几句应时的咒骂, 却看见了 +死神. -It had to be Death. No-one else went around with empty eye sockets and, -of course, the scythe over one shoulder was another clue. [...] +那一定是死神. 没有其他人会顶着空洞的眼窝四处走动, +当然, 肩上扛着的那把镰刀也是一条线索. [...] - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage 1 # p. 116 %passage 2 -As he was drawn towards the Eye the terror-struck Rincewind raised the box -protectively, and at the same time heard the picture imp say, "They're -about ripe now, can't hold them any longer. Everyone smile, please." - -There was a-- ---flash of light so white and so bright-- ---it didn't seem like light at all. - -Bel-Shamharoth screamed, a sound that started in the far ultrasonic and -finished somewhere in Rincewind's bowels. The tentacles went momentarily -as stiff as rods, hurling their various cargoes around the room, before -bunching up protectively in front of the abused Eye. The whole mass -dropped into the pit and a moment later the big slab was snatched up by -several dozen tentacles and slammed into place, leaving a number of -thrashing limbs trapped around the edge. - - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] +当他被拽向那只巨眼, 惊恐万分的灵思风举起箱子 +护在身前, 同时听见图画小妖说道, "他们 +现在差不多都熟透了, 不需要在意他们. 欢乐时刻." + +然后是一道-- +--如此炽白耀眼的白光-- +--那根本就不像光. + +贝尔-沙姆哈罗斯尖叫, 那尖叫声从遥远的超声波开始 +然后结束于灵思风的胃里. 触手马上 +坚硬如铁, 将各种杂物扔向房间的各个地方, 随后 +簇拥向那只饱受摧残的巨眼并紧紧缩成一团. 整个巨大的身躯 +坠入深坑, 片刻之后那块大石板 +被几十条触手猛地拽回原位, 只留下一堆 +扭动挣扎的肢端被夹在边缘外面. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage 2 # p. 8 (passage starts mid-paragraph) %passage 3 -[...] In the meantime, they could only speculate about the revealed -cosmos. +[...] 与此同时, 他们只能对展现在眼前的宇宙 +进行种种猜测. -There was, for example, the theory that A'Tuin had come from nowhere and -would continue at a uniform crawl, or steady gait, into nowhere, for all -time. This theory was popular among academics. +比如说, 有一种理论认为阿图因不知从何而来 +而且始终匀速爬行, 或者说是稳健的步伐, 走向虚无, 直至 +永远. 这一理论在学者之中颇为流行. -An alternative, favoured by those of a religious persuasion, was that -A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating, as were -all the stars in the sky which were, obviously, also carried by giant -turtles. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for -the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be -born to carry a new pattern of worlds. This was known as the Big Bang -hypothesis. +另一种理论, 则受到信教人士的青睐, 说的是 +阿图因正从诞生之地爬向交配之时, 天空中的星辰 +同样如此, 显然, 它们也由一只巨龟 +承载. 当他们抵达的时候会短暂且热烈的交合, 这是 +第一次也是唯一的一次, 而从这炽烈的结合之中, 诞生了新的巨龟 +驮起新世界的框架. 这被称之为 +大爆炸假说. - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 13 (end of a long footnote; the initial obsession with 'eight' ended # fairly quickly within the Discworld series) %passage 4 [...] -There are, of course, eight days in a disc week and eight colours in its -light spectrum. Eight is a number of some considerable occult -significance on the disc and must never, ever, be spoken by a wizard. +当然, 碟上一周有八天, 其光谱也 +有八种颜色. 八在碟形世界中 +是一个具有相当神秘学色彩意义的数字, 巫师绝对不可说出它, 绝对! -Precisely why all the above should be so is not clear, but goes some way -to explain why, on the disc, the Gods are not so much worshipped as blamed. +至于这一切究竟是为什么, 并不清楚, 但这多少 +解释了在碟形世界中, 为什么, 诸神与其说是被崇拜, 不如说是被怪罪. - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 38 (first speaker is Rincewind, second is a pre-Vetinari Patrician) %passage 5 -"I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord." +"大人, 我向您保证, 我的脑子里绝对没闪过这个念头." -"Indeed? Then if I were you I'd sue my face for slander." +"是吗? 如果我是你, 我就会告我自己诽谤." - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 41 (title of 5th book is "Sourcery" but it's spelled "sorcery" here; # 'organising': British spelling) %passage 6 -All the heroes of the Circle Sea passed through the gates of Ankh-Morpork -sooner or later. Most of them were from the barbaric tribes nearer the -frozen Hub, which had a sort of export trade in heroes. Almost all of -them had crude magic swords, whose unsuppressed harmonics on the astral -plane played hell with any delicate experiments in applied sorcery for -miles around, but Rincewind didn't object to them on that score. He knew -himself to be a magical dropout, so it didn't bother him that the mere -appearance of a hero at the city gates was enough to cause retorts to -explode and demons to materialize all through the Magical Quarter. No, -what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally -gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk. There were too many -of them, too. Some of the most notable questing grounds were a veritable -hubbub in the season. There was talk of organising a rota. - - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] +所有圆海的英雄都会经过莫波克的城门, +迟早的事. 他们大多来自靠近冰封极地的 +野蛮部落, 那里似乎有种英雄出口的贸易. 几乎每个人 +都带着粗缆制造的魔法剑, 而在星界, 这些剑不受抑制的谐波 +能把方圆数英里内任何精细的巫术实验搅得 +一塌糊涂, 但灵思风对此倒不介意. 他知道 +自己是一个魔法学校的辍学生, 所以不会有事情会烦扰他,无论是 +英雄出现在城门口就足以让整个魔法区的曲颈甑爆炸,还是 +恶魔到处现形. 不, +他讨厌英雄的是: 他们在清醒时通常阴郁得想自杀, +喝醉时疯癫得想杀人. 而且英雄实在太多了. +某些最著名的冒险地,一到旺季简直成了 +闹哄哄的一锅粥. 甚至有人在讨论轮值表了. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 82-83 (passage starts mid-paragraph; # pronouns for deities are not capitalized; @@ -126,207 +125,195 @@ hubbub in the season. There was talk of organising a rota. # for "blind io" and the second half of the passage is the # data.base quote for "*lady" and "offler") %passage 7 -[...] The disc gods themselves, despite the splendor of the world below -them, are seldom satisfied. It is embarrassing to know that one is a god -of a world that only exists because every improbability curve must have -its far end; especially when one can peer into other dimensions at worlds -whose Creators had more mechanical aptitude than imagination. No wonder, -then, that the disc gods spend more time bickering than in omnicognizance. - -On this particular day Blind Io, by dint of constant vigilance the chief -of the gods, sat with his chin on his hand and looked at the gaming board -on the red marble table in front of him. Blind Io had got his name -because, where his eye sockets should have been, there were nothing but -two areas of blank skin. His eyes, of which he had an impressively large -number, led a semi-independent life of their own. Several were currently -hovering above the table. - -The gaming board was a carefully-carved map of the disc world, overprinted -with squares. A number of beautifully modelled playing pieces were now -occupying some of the squares. A human onlooker would, for example, have -recognized in two of them the likenesses of Bravd and the Weasel. Others -represented yet more heroes and champions, of which the disc had a more -than adequate supply. - -Still in the game were Io, Offler the Crocodile God, Zephyrus the god of -slight breezes, Fate, and the Lady. There was an air of concentration -around the board now that the lesser players had been removed from the -Game. Chance had been an early casualty, running her hero into a full -house of armed gnolls (the result of a lucky throw by Offler) and shortly -afterwards Night had cashed his chips, pleading an appointment with -Destiny. Several minor deities had drifted up and were kibitzing over -the shoulders of the players. - -Side bets were made that the Lady would be the next to leave the board. -Her last champion of any standing was now a pinch of potash in the ruins -of still-smoking Ankh-Morpork, and there were hardly any pieces that she -could promote to first rank. - -Blind Io took up the dice-box, which was a skull whose various orifices -had been stoppered with rubies, and with several of his eyes on the Lady -he rolled three fives. - -She smiled. This was the nature of the Lady's eyes: they were bright -green, lacking iris or pupil, and they glowed from within. - -The room was silent as she scrabbled in her box of pieces and, from the -very bottom, produced a couple that she set down on the board with two -decisive clicks. The rest of the players, as one God, craned forward to -peer at them. - -"A wenegrade wiffard and fome fort of clerk," said Offler the Crocodile -God, hindered as usual by his tusks. "Well, weally!" With one claw he -pushed a pile of bone-white tokens into the centre of the table. - -The Lady nodded slightly. She picked up the dice-cup and held it as steady -as a rock, yet all the gods could hear the three cubes rattling about -inside. And then she sent them bouncing across the table. - -A six. A three. A five. - -Something was happening to the five, however. Battered by the chance -collision of several billion molecules, the die flipped onto a point, spun -gently and came down a seven. - -Blind Io picked up the cube and counted the sides. - -"Come /on/," he said wearily. "Play fair." - - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] +[...] 碟形世界的诸神们, 尽管脚下的大千世界无比辉煌, +却鲜少感到满足. 知道自己掌管着一个只因 +一切概率曲线必有远端, 这本身就够令人尴尬了; +尤其是当你还能窥见其他维度中那些 +造物主更擅长机械而非想象的世界时. 难怪 +碟上的众神花在争吵上的时间比花在全知上的还要多. + +这一天, 盲眼艾欧, 靠着时刻警惕而稳坐众神之首 +的神灵, 正手托下巴, 盯着面前红大理石桌上 +的棋盘. 他之所以叫盲眼 +是因为本应长着眼眶的地方, 只有两片 +光滑的皮肤. 他的眼睛数量多得惊人 +过着一种半独立的生活. 此刻就有好几只 +正漂浮在棋盘的上方. + +棋盘是精心雕刻的碟形世界地图, 上面 +压印着方格. 几个做工精美的棋子 +正占据着某些格子. 比方说, 凡人的旁观者若在旁, +定能认出其中两枚棋子酷似布拉夫德和黄鼠狼. 其余棋子 +则代表更多的英雄和斗士, 碟形世界 +不缺这类人物. + +仍在局中的有艾欧, 鳄鱼神奥弗勒, 微风之神 +泽菲罗斯, 命运, 以及幸运女神. 自那些较小的角色 +被淘汰出局后, 棋盘周围弥漫着 +一股专注的气氛. 偶然很早就出了局, 她让自己的英雄 +撞上了一堆全副武装的豺狼人 (那是奥弗勒掷出幸运点数所致) 不久之后 +黑夜也兑现了筹码, 借口与宿命有个约会 +几个小神漂了过来, 站在玩家们身后插嘴指点. + +私下里有人打赌幸运女神会是下一个离桌的. +她最后一位像样的冠军, 此刻已在仍在冒烟的莫波克废墟中化为一撮碱灰 +莫波克废墟中化为一撮碱灰, 而她手里几乎没有 +任何能提升到前列的棋子了. + +盲眼艾欧拿起骰盅, 那是一只骷髅, 各个孔洞都用 +红宝石塞住, 他几只眼睛都盯着幸运女神 +掷出了三个五. + +她笑了. 幸运女神的眼睛生来如此: 碧绿明亮, 没有虹膜 +也没有瞳孔, 光从内部透出. + +房间里一片寂静, 她在自己的棋盒里翻找, 从最底层 +掏出一对棋子, 清脆地按在棋盘上. +其余众神齐刷刷地 +探身去看. + +"一位...鲁瑟的法湿, 还友一个神马输鸡" 鳄鱼神奥弗勒说 +嘴巴照例被长牙绊得含含糊糊. "霍, 真霍!" 他用一只爪子 +把一堆骨白色的筹码推到桌子中央. + +幸运女神微微颔首. 她拿起骰盅 +握得稳如磐石, 然而诸神都能听见里面三枚骰子 +在咔嗒作响. 然后她将它们撒向桌面, 弹跳开来. + +六, 三, 五. + +然而那个五出了点状况, 在数十亿分子 +偶然碰撞的冲击下, 那枚骰子翻到了角尖上, 轻轻 +旋转, 最后落下来竟是七点. + +眼艾欧捡起骰子, 数了数面数. + +"得了吧,"他厌倦地说, "公平点行不行?" + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 84 (Ankh-Morpork was burned soon after Twoflower introduced the concept # of fire insurance; a longer version of this passage is the data.base # quote for "tourist") %passage 8 -Picturesque. That was a new word to Rincewind the wizard (B. Mgc., -Unseen University [failed]). It was one of a number he had picked up -since leaving the charred ruins of Ankh-Morpork. Quaint was another one. -Picturesque meant--he decided after careful observation of the scenery -that inspired Twoflower to use the word--that the landscape was horribly -precipitous. Quaint, when used to describe the occasional village through -which they passed, meant fever-ridden and tumbledown. +如画. 这是巫师灵思风 (魔法学士, +无形大学 [肄业]) 学到的一个新词. 这是他离开 +莫波克焦黑的废墟后掌握的若干新词之一. 古雅是另一个. +所谓如画--他仔细观察了促使双花使用这个词的 +风景之后得出结论--意思其实是这地形 +险峻得可怕. 而古雅, 当用来形容他们偶尔途经的某个村庄时 +则意味着疟疾横行、摇摇欲坠. -Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, -Rincewind decided, meant "idiot." +双花是个游客, 碟形世界有史以来的第一个. 而游客, +灵思风断定，意思就是 "白痴." - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 85 ('memorising': British spelling) %passage 9 -Currently Twoflower was showing a great interest in the theory and practice -of magic. - -"It all seems, well, rather useless to me," he said. "I always thought -that, you know, a wizard just said the words and that was that. Not all -this tedious memorising." - -Rincewind agreed moodily. He tried to explain that magic had indeed once -been wild and lawless, but had been tamed back in the mists of time by the -Olden Ones, who had bound it to obey among other things the Law of -Conservation of Reality; this demanded that the effort needed to achieve -a goal should be the same regardless of the means used. In practical -terms, this meant that, say, creating the illusion of a glass of wine was -relatively easy, since it involved merely the subtle shifting of light -patterns. On the other hand, lifting a genuine wineglass a few feet in -the air by sheer mental energy required several hours of systematic -preparation if the wizard wished to prevent the simple principle of -leverage flicking his brain out through his ears. - -He went on to add that some of the ancient magic could still be found in -its raw state, recognizable--to the initiated--by the eightfold shape it -made in the crystalline structure of space-time. There was the metal -octiron, for example, and the gas octogen. Both radiated dangerous -amounts of raw enchantment. - - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] +此时, 双花正对魔法的理论与实践表现出极大的兴趣. + +"在我看来, 这玩意儿嘛, 实在没什么用," 他说. "我一直以为 +巫师只要念几句咒语就够了. 哪用得着 +这么死记硬背." + +灵思风闷闷不乐地表示同意. 他试图解释, 魔法确实曾经狂野无羁 +但早在远古时代就被古人驯服了, 他们让它服从, +包括现实守恒定律在内的诸多法则 +这条定律要求, +无论采用何种手段, 达到目标所需的努力应当相同. 用实际的话来说, +比如, 制造一杯酒的幻象相对容易, 因为这只需微妙地改变光线图案. 但若是仅凭 +精神力将一只真正的酒杯举到几英尺高 +的空中, 巫师若想避免杠杆原理把他的脑子 +从耳朵里甩出去,就得事先做足 +好几个小时的系统准备. +他接着补充说, 有些 +古老的魔法仍能以原始形态存在, 内行者能认出 +它在时空晶体结构中留下的八重形态. 比如八金属, 还有八气 +它们都会辐射出危险量的原生魔力. + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 166 ('Lio!rt' with embedded exclamation point is correct; book's text # is missing the opening quote before ["]You arrogant barbarian--") %passage 10 -"I challenge you," said Hrun, glaring at the brothers, "both at once." +"我要挑战你们,"赫伦瞪着那两兄弟说,"两个一起上." -Lio!rt and Liartes exchanged looks. +利奥特和利阿提斯对视了一眼. -"You'll fight us both together?" said Liartes, a tall, wiry man with long -black hair. +"你要同时跟我们两个打?"利阿提斯问. 他是个 +高瘦结实的男子, 留着黑色长发. -"Yah." +"对." -"That's pretty uneven odds, isn't it?" +"这实力悬殊得有点大吧?" -"Yah. I outnumber you one to two." +"没错. 我以一对二, 人数上正好是你们占优." -Lio!rt scowled. "You arrogant barbarian--" +利奥特沉下脸."你这个狂妄的野蛮人--" -"That just about does it!" growled Hrun. "I'll--" +"够了我受的!"赫伦咆哮道,"我--" -The Loremaster put out a blue-veined hand to restrain him. +博学大师伸出一只青筋毕露的手拦住了他. -"It is forbidden to fight on the Killing Ground," he said, and paused -while he considered the sense of this. "You know what I mean, anyway," he -hazarded, giving up, and added, "As the challenged parties my lords Lio!rt -and Liartes have choice of weapons." +"杀戮之地禁止打斗,"他说, 顿了顿, 自己琢磨了一下 +这话的逻辑,"反正你们明白我的意思,"他放弃似的 +蒙混过去, 又补了一句,"作为被挑战方, 利奥特和利阿提斯 +两位大人有权选择武器." -"Dragons," they said together. Liessa snorted. +"巨龙,"两人异口同声地说. 利艾萨嗤笑了一声. -"Dragons can be used offensively, therefore they are weapons," said Lio!rt -firmly. "If you disagree we can fight over it." +"巨龙可以用于进攻, 因此它们算武器,"利奥特坚定地说, +"你要是不服, 我们可以为此打一架." -"Yah," said his brother, nodding at Hrun. +"嗯,"他的兄弟朝赫伦点了点头. - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 196 %passage 11 -Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. -Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had -long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality -by not dying. +有些海盗靠作恶多端或 +英勇壮举流芳百世, 有些则靠聚敛金山银山 +名垂千古. 但这位船长老早就想通了 +--总的来说, 他更愿意靠不死来永垂不朽. - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 201 (entire paragraph is enclosed within parentheses) %passage 12 -Plants on the disc, while including the categories known commonly as -/annuals/, which were sown this year to come up later this year, -/biennials/, sown this year to grow next year, and /perennials/, sown this -year to grow until further notice, also included a few rare /re-annuals/ -which, because of an unusual four-dimensional twist in their genes, could -be planted this year to come up /last year/. The /vul/ nut vine was -particularly exceptional in that it could flourish as many as eight years -prior to its seed actually being sown. /Vul/ nut wine was reputed to give -certain drinkers an insight into the future which was, from the nut's -point of view, the past. Strange but true. - - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] +碟形世界上的植物, 除了常见的 +那些分类, 即今年播种今年生长的"一年生", +今年播种明年生长的"二年生", 以及今年播种后"长到另行通知为止"的"多年生"之外, +还包括几种稀有的"再一年生"由于基因里一种不寻常的四维扭曲, +这些植物可以在今年播种, 却去年长出来. 沃坚果藤尤其特别, +它能在种子实际播下之前最多八年就枝繁叶茂. +据说沃坚果酒能让某些饮用者窥见未来, 不过从坚果的角度来看, 那是过去. +怪事一桩, 却是事实. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 217 (Rincewind and Twoflower are slated to become ritual sacrifices) %passage 13 -"I hope you're not proposing to enslave us," said Twoflower. +"我希望你不是打算奴役我们."双花说. -Marchesa looked genuinely shocked. "Certainly not! Whatever could -have given you that idea? Your lives in Krull will be rich, full and -comfortable--" +玛切萨看起来真的很震惊."当然不是! 你怎么会这么想? 你们在克鲁尔的生活将会富足充实而舒适--" -"Oh, good," said Rincewind. +"哦, 那敢情好."灵思风说. -"--just not very long." +"--只是不会太久." - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 228-229 (passage starts mid-paragraph) %passage 14 -[...] She was the Goddess Who Must Not Be Named; those who sought her -never found her, yet she was known to come to the aid of those in greatest -need. And, then again, sometimes she didn't. She was like that. She -didn't like the clicking of rosaries, but was attracted to the sound of -dice. No man knew what She looked like, although there were many times -when a man who was gambling his life on the turn of the cards would pick -up the hand he had been dealt and stare Her full in the face. Of course, -sometimes he didn't. Among all the gods she was at one and the same time -the most courted and the most cursed. - - [The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett] +[...] 她是那位不可具名之神, 寻她之人从未得见, +她却常在至苦之人身处绝境时施以援手. 不过呢, +有时候她也不来, 她就是这样的性子. +她不爱听念珠的哒哒声, 却对骰子的叮当响情有独钟. +没人知道她长什么模样, 尽管很多时候. +一个拿性命押在牌局翻转上的赌徒, 会抓起刚发到手里的牌, +然后与她直面相对. 当然, 有时候他也不会. +在众神之中, 她同时是最受追捧和最遭诅咒的那一位. + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage %e title # @@ -335,57 +322,43 @@ the most courted and the most cursed. %title The Light Fantastic (12) # p. 92 (Signet edition) %passage 1 -'Cohen ish my name, boy.' Bethan's hands stopped moving. +"我叫科恩, 小子."贝珊的手停了下来. -'Cohen?' she said. 'Cohen the Barbarian?' +"科恩?"她说,"野蛮人科恩?" -'The very shame.' +"正是在下." -'Hang on, hang on,' said Rincewind. 'Cohen's a great big chap, neck like a -bull, got chest muscles like a sack of footballs. I mean, he's the Disc's -greatest warrior, a legend in his own lifetime. I remember my grandad -telling me he saw him... my grandad telling me he... my grandad...' +"等等, 等等,"灵思风说,"科恩是个大块头, 脖子粗得像公牛, 胸肌鼓得像一袋子足球. 我是说, 他是碟形世界最伟大的战士, 在世传奇. 我记得我爷爷跟我说他见过他...我爷爷跟我说他...我爷爷..." -He faltered under the gimlet gaze. +他在那锐利的目光下结巴起来. -'Oh,' he said. 'Oh. Of course. Sorry.' +"哦,"他说,"哦. 当然. 抱歉." -'Yesh,' said Cohen, and sighed. 'That's right boy. I'm a lifetime in my -own legend.' +"没错,"科恩叹了口气,"小子, 我就是传说本说." - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage 1 # p. 113 (Twoflower is teaching the Riders how to play bridge; # in /The Light Fantastic/, Death's dialog uses quotation marks # and full uppercase rather than the small capital letters used in # the other books) %passage 2 -Death sat at one side of a black baize table in the centre of the room, -arguing with Famine, War and Pestilence. Twoflower was the only one to -look up and notice Rincewind. - -'Hey, how did you get here?' he said. +死神坐在房间中央一张绿色台面赌桌的一侧, 正与饥荒战争和瘟疫争辩. 只有双花抬起头来, 注意到了灵思风. -'Well, some say that the creator took a handful--oh, I see, well, it's -hard to explain but I--' +"嘿, 你怎么到这儿来的?"他说. -'Have you got the Luggage?' +"呃, 有人说造物主抓了一把--哦, 我明白了, 这个很难解释, 不过我--" -The wooden box pushed past Rincewind and settled down in front of its -owner, who opened its lid and rummaged around inside until he came up with -a small, leatherbound book which he handed to War, who was hammering the -table with a mailed fist. +"行李箱在你那儿吗?" -'It's "Nosehinger on the Laws of Contract",' he said. 'It's quite good, -there's a lot in it about double finessing and how to--' +那只木箱子挤过灵思风, 在主人面前安顿下来. 双花掀开箱盖, 在里面翻了一会儿, 掏出一本皮面小书, 递给正在用铁手套捶桌子的战争. -Death snatched the book with a bony hand and flipped through the pages, -quite oblivious to the presence of the two men. +"这是诺辛格论契约法,"他说,"挺不错的, 里面有很多关于双飞牌和如何--" -'RIGHT,' he said, 'PESTILENCE, OPEN ANOTHER PACK OF CARDS. I'M GOING TO -GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT KILLS ME. FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE.' +死神一把夺过书, 枯骨般的手指飞快地翻着书页, 完全没注意到旁边的两个人. - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] +"好,"他说,"瘟疫, 再开一副牌. 我今天非要弄个水落石出不可--当然是比喻的说法." + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage 2 # p. 7 (passage starts mid-sentence; the too-long-to-answer question is # "Why have Rincewind and Twoflower fallen off the Disc's rim?", @@ -393,184 +366,146 @@ GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT KILLS ME. FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE.' # in /Sourcery/ and /Interesting Times/ and probably others, the # famous philosopher's name is spelled "Ly Tin Wheedle") %passage 3 -[...] such questions take time and could be more trouble than they are -worth. For example, it is said that someone at a party once asked the -famous philosopher Ly Tin Weedle "Why are you here?" and the reply took -three years. +[...] 这类问题很费时间, 而且往往得不偿失. 据说有一次在宴会上, 有人问 +著名哲学家莱·廷·威德尔:"你在这儿干嘛?"结果他的回答花了整整三年. - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 8 ('libraries': plural is accurate) %passage 4 -The only furnishing in the room was a lectern of dark wood, carved into the -shape of a bird--well, to be frank, into the shape of a winged thing it is -probably best not to examine too closely--and on the lectern, fastened to -it by a heavy chain covered in padlocks, was a book. +房间里唯一的家具是一个 +深色木制讲台, 雕成一只鸟的形状--好吧, +老实说, 是某种长翅膀的东西, 最好别 +凑近了细看——讲台上放着一本书, 用沉重的 +铁链拴着, 链子上挂满了挂锁. -A large, but not particularly impressive, book. Other books in the -University's libraries had covers inlaid with rare jewels and fascinating -wood, or bound with dragon skin. This one was just a rather tatty leather. -It looked the sort of book described in library catalogues as "slightly -foxed," although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though -it had been badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well. +书很大, 但并不怎么起眼. 大学图书馆里的其他书, 封面 +镶嵌着稀世宝石和精美木料, 或者用龙皮装订. 这本只是 +破旧的皮面. 它看起来像是图书馆目录里 +会描述为"略有狐斑"的那种书--尽管更诚实地说, 它分明像是 +被獾啃过或被狼撕过, 可能还让熊拍过几爪子. - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 41-42 %passage 5 -The barbarian chieftain said: "What then are the greatest things that a -man may find in life?" This is the sort of thing you're supposed to say to -maintain steppecred in barbarian circles. - -The man on his right thoughtfully drank his cocktail of mare's milk and -snowcat blood, and spoke thus: "The crisp horizon of the steppe, the wind -in your hair, a fresh horse under you." - -The man on his left said: "The cry of the white eagle in the heights, the -fall of snow in the forest, a true arrow in your bow." - -The chieftain nodded and said: "Surely it is the sight of your enemy -slain, the humiliation of his tribe and the lamentation of his women." - -There was a general murmur of whiskery approval at this outrageous display. - -Then the chieftain turned respectfully to his guest, a small figure -carefully warming his chilblains by the fire, and said: "But our guest, -whose name is legend, must tell us truly: what is it that a man may call -the greatest things in life?" +野蛮人酋长开口道:"那么, 人一生中最伟大的事物是什么?"--在野蛮人的圈子里, 要想维持草原威望, 就该说这种话. -The guest paused in the middle of another unsuccessful attempt to light up. +他右边的人若有所思地喝了一口母马奶和雪豹血调成的鸡尾酒, 答道:"草原尽头清晰的地平线, 吹过发梢的风, 胯下矫健的新马." -"What shay?" he said, toothlessly. +他左边的人说:"高空中白鹰的长啸, 森林里飘落的雪, 弓上搭着的好箭." -"I said: what is it that a man may call the greatest things in life?" +酋长点了点头, 说:"当然莫过于亲眼看着敌人被斩杀, 他的部族蒙受屈辱, 他的女人放声悲泣." -The warriors leaned closer. This should be worth hearing. +这番豪言引来一阵胡子拉碴的赞许低语. -The guest thought long and hard and then said, with deliberation: "Hot -water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper." +然后酋长恭敬地转向他的客人--一个瘦小的身影, 正小心翼翼地 +在火边烤着冻疮--说:"但我们的客人, 传说般的人物, 必须如实 +告诉我们:人一生中最值得称道的事物是什么?" - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] -%e passage -# p. 48 (Hanzel and Gretel, obviously...) -%passage 6 -"Have a bit more table," said Rincewind. +客人正又一次试图点着火(又没成功), 停下手来. -"No thanks, I don't like marzipan," said Twoflower. "Anyway, I'm sure it's -not right to eat other people's furniture." +"你说傻?"他没牙的嘴里漏着风. -"Don't worry," said Swires. "The old witch hasn't been seen for years. -They say she was done up good and proper by a couple of young tearaways." +"我说: 人一生中最伟大的事物是什么?" -"Kids of today," said Rincewind. +武士们都凑近了, 这准值得一听. -"I blame the parents," said Twoflower. +客人想了很久, 然后字斟句酌地说:"热水与好牙医, 还有软和的厕纸." - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 103 %passage 7 -It is a well known fact that warriors and wizards do not get along, because -one side considers the other side to be a collection of bloodthirsty idiots -who can't walk and think at the same time, while the other side is naturally -suspicious of a body of men who mumble a lot and wear long dresses. Oh, say -the wizards, if we're going to be like that, then, what about all those -studded collars and oiled muscles down at the Young Men's Pagan Association? -To which the heroes reply, that's a pretty good allegation coming from a -bunch of wimpsoes who won't go near a woman on account, can you believe it, -of their mystical power being sort of drained out. Right, say the wizards, -that just about does it, you and your leather posing pouches. Oh yeah, say -the heroes, why don't you... - -And so on. This sort of thing has been going on for centuries, and caused -a number of major battles which have left large tracts of land uninhabitable -because of magical harmonics. - - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] +众所周知, 战士和巫师向来合不来--因为一方 +觉得另一方是一群连走路和思考都无法同时 +进行的嗜血白痴, 而另一方则自然会对一群嘀嘀咕咕 +还穿长袍的家伙心存戒备. 哦, 巫师们说, 既然你要这么说, 那 +你们"异教徒青年协会"里那些钉领圈和抹油的肌肉 +又算怎么回事? 英雄们则回敬道, 这种指控从 +一帮不敢靠近女人, 只因--你信吗--怕自己的神秘力量 +被"吸走"的软脚虾嘴里说出来, 还真是够好听的. +行啊, 巫师们说, 这话可算把天聊死了, 你们那些 +皮裤衩摆造型的家伙. 哦是吗, 英雄们说, 那你咋不-- + +如此这般. 这类事情已经持续了几百年, 还引发了不少大战, 导致 +大片土地因魔法谐波而变得不宜人居. + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 128 %passage 8 -"He'sh mad?" +"他疯啦?" -"Sort of mad. But mad with lots of money." +"算是疯吧. 不过是有钱的那种疯." -"Ah, then he can't be mad. I've been around; if a man hash lotsh of money -he'sh just ecshentric." +"哦, 那他就不是疯了. 我走南闯北见得多了, 一个人要是有很多很多钱, 他就是怪人." - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] -%e passage -# p. 182 (Cohen is now wearing dentures with teeth made from diamonds) -%passage 9 -Cohen tapped him on the shoulder. The man looked around irritably. +科恩拍了拍那人的肩膀. 那人烦躁地回过头来. -"What do you want, grandad?" he snarled. +"老头儿, 你想干嘛?"他吼道. -Cohen paused until he had the man's full attention, and then he smiled. It -was a slow, lazy smile, unveiling about 300 carats of mouth jewelry that -seemed to light up the room. +科恩等了一会儿, 直到那人把全部注意力都放在 +自己身上, 然后他笑了. 那是一个缓慢而懒散的笑容, 露出了 +嘴里大约三百克拉的“珠宝", 仿佛把整个房间都照亮了. -"I will count to three," he said, in a friendly tone of voice. "One, Two." -His bony knee came up in the man's groin with a satisfyingly meaty noise, -and he half-turned to bring the full force of an elbow into the kidneys as -the leader collapsed around his private universe of pain. +"我数到三."他用友善的口吻说,"一, 二."他 +干瘦的膝盖带着一声令人满足的闷响 +撞进那人的裆部, 紧接着他半转身, 将手肘的 +全力砸在对方腰眼上--那位首领已经蜷缩在属于自己的痛苦宇宙中了. -"Three," to told the ball of agony on the floor. Cohen had heard of -fighting fair, and had long ago decided he wanted no part of it. +"三."他对地上那团痛苦说. 科恩听说过 +公平决斗这回事, 但他早就下定决心, 不跟这东西沾边. - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 193-194 (this passage is the data.base quote for shopkeeper) %passage 10 -There have been three general theories put forward to explain the -phenomenon of the wandering shops, or as they are generically known, -/tabernae vagantes/. +关于游商--即通称的tabernae vagantes--这一现象, 历来有三种主流理论解释. -The first postulates that many thousands of years ago there evolved -somewhere in the multiverse a race whose single talent was to buy cheap -and sell dear. Soon they controlled a vast galactic empire or, as they put -it, Emporium, and the more advanced members of the species found a way to -equip their very shops with unique propulsion units that could break the -dark walls of space itself and open up vast new markets. And long after -the worlds of the Emporium perished in the heat death of their particular -universe, after one last defiant fire sale, the wandering starshops still -ply their trade, eating their way through the pages of space-time like a -worm through a three-volume novel. +第一种推测, 数万年前, 多元宇宙中 +某个地方演化出了一个种族, 其唯一天赋便是 +低买高卖. 他们很快掌控了 +一个庞大的银河帝国, 或者用他们的话说, 大商号. +该物种中更先进的成员找到了一种方法, 为自家店铺 +配备独特的推进装置, 能够冲破黑暗的虚空壁垒, 开辟 +全新的广阔市场. 即使在大商号所在宇宙因热寂而灭亡 +很久之后, 在最后一场清仓大甩卖的余烬中, 这些 +流浪的星际店铺仍在继续着它们的买卖, 如同一只蛀虫 +啃穿三卷本小说一样, 在时空的册页中凿洞穿行. -The second is that they are the creation of a sympathetic Fate, charged -with the role of supplying exactly the right thing at the right time. +第二种理论认为, 它们是某种怜悯之命运的造物, 其职责便是 +在恰当的时刻提供恰当之物. -The third is that they are simply a very clever way of getting around the -various Sunday Closing acts. +第三种理论则更简单: 它们不过是绕开各种礼拜日歇业令的聪明花招. -All these theories, diverse as they are, have two things in common. They -explain the observed facts, and they are completely and utterly wrong. +这些理论尽管各不相同, 但有两个共同之处: 它们都 +解释了观察到的事实, 而它们全都完全彻底地错了. - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 205 %passage 11 -"Where do they all come from?" said Twoflower, as they fled yet another mob. +"这些人都是哪儿冒出来的?"双花问, 他们刚又逃离了一群暴民. -"Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the -shopkeeper, "That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than -a totally sane person." +"每个正常人心里都住着一个疯子, 正挣扎着 +想出来呢,"店主说,"我一直这么觉得. 没人比一个完全正常的人疯得更快了." - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 229-230 ('grey': British spelling is accurate) %passage 12 -Trymon was looking at him. /Something/ was looking at him. And still the -others hadn't noticed. Could he even explain it? Trymon looked the same -as he had always done, except for the eyes, and a slight sheen to his skin. +特里蒙正看着他. 某个东西正看着他. 而其他人 +仍然毫无察觉. 他能解释清楚吗? 特里蒙看起来 +和往常没什么两样--除了那双眼睛, 以及皮肤上那层淡淡的光泽. -Rincewind stared, and knew that there were far worse things than Evil. All -the demons in Hell would torture your very soul, but that was precisely -because they value souls very highly; evil would always try to steal the -universe, but at least it considered the universe worth stealing. But the -grey world behind those empty eyes would trample and destroy without even -according its victims the dignity of hatred. It wouldn't even notice them. +灵思风盯着他, 心里明白, 世上还有 +比邪恶更可怕的东西. 地狱里的所有恶魔都会 +折磨你的灵魂, 但那恰恰是因为他们非常珍视灵魂; 邪恶 +总是试图偷走宇宙, 但至少它认为宇宙值得一偷. 然而, 那双 +空空如也的双眼背后那片灰蒙蒙的领域, 会将一切践踏摧毁, 却连 +仇恨的尊严都不赋予受害者. 它甚至不会注意到他们. - [The Light Fantastic, by Terry Pratchett] + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage %e title # @@ -579,225 +514,194 @@ according its victims the dignity of hatred. It wouldn't even notice them. %title Equal Rites (10) # p. 118 (Signet edition; passage starts mid-sentence and ends mid-paragraph) %passage 1 -[...] it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing -that what you're attempting can't be done. [...] +[...] 众所周知, 成功的一个关键要素, 就是 +不知道你所尝试的事情根本做不到. [...] - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 218 (speaker is Granny Weatherwax) %passage 2 -"Million-to-one chances," she said, "crop up nine times out of ten." - - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] +"百万分之一的机会", 她说, "十次里有九次会出现." + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 96-97 ('Tannoy': public address speaker) %passage 3 -Animal minds are simple, and therefore sharp. Animals never spend time -dividing experience into little bits and speculating about all the bits -they've missed. The whole panoply of the universe has been neatly -expressed to them as things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, -and (d) rocks. This frees the mind from unnecessary thoughts and gives -it a cutting edge where it matters. Your normal animal, in fact, never -tries to walk and chew gum at the same time. - -The average human, on the other hand, thinks about all sorts of things -around the clock, on all sorts of levels, with interruptions from dozens -of biological calendars and timepieces. There's thoughts about to be said, -and private thoughts, and real thoughts, and thoughts about thoughts, and -a whole gamut of subconscious thoughts. To a telepath the human head is -a din. It is a railway terminus with all the Tannoys talking at once. -It is a complete FM waveband--and some of those stations aren't reputable, -they're outlawed pirates on forbidden seas who play late-night records with -limbic lyrics. - - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] +动物的头脑简单, 因此敏锐. 动物 +从不花时间把经验切成碎片, 再去琢磨 +那些漏掉的碎片. 整个宇宙的万象万物, 在它们那里 +被简洁地归纳为: (a) 交配对象; (b) 食物; (c) 要逃开的东西; (d) 石头. 这 +解放了它们的头脑, 免于不必要的杂念, 让它们在真正要紧的 +地方磨得锋利. 事实上, 一只普通的动物从不会一边走一边嚼口香糖. + +而普通人类嘛, 则日夜不停地思考 +各种事情, 在各个层次上, 还被几十种 +生物钟和时间表不时打断. 有即将说出口的 +念头, 有私密的念头, 有真正关键的念头, 还有 +关于念头的念头, 以及一整套潜意识念头. 对于心灵感应者来说, +人类的脑袋是一片嘈杂. 那是一座火车站, 所有 +广播喇叭同时开口: 那是一个完整的调频波段--而且 +其中有些电台还不正经, 是 outlawed pirates on forbidden seas, 深夜 +播着充满原始情感的唱片. + + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 18-19 %passage 4 -Smith took a spade from beside the back door and hesitated. - -"Granny." +史密斯从后门边拿起一把铁锹, 犹豫了一下. -"What?" +"奶奶." -"Do you know how wizards like to be buried?" +"嗯?" -"Yes!" +"你知道巫师们喜欢怎么被埋葬吗?" -"Well, how?" +"知道!" -Granny paused at the bottom of the stairs. +"那, 怎么埋?" -"Reluctantly." +奶奶在楼梯脚停下脚步. - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] +"心不甘情不愿地." + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 70 %passage 5 -Granny sighed. "You have learned something," she said, and thought it -was safe to insert a touch of sternness into her voice. "They say that a -little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a -lot of ignorance." +奶奶叹了口气. "你确实学到了点东西,"她说, 觉得 +这时候在语气里加进一点严厉应该没问题. +"人们说一知半解是危险的事, 但比起全然无知, 那可要好得多了." - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 113-114 (Esk is a young girl) %passage 6 -The barges stopped at some of the towns. By tradition only the men went -ashore, and only Amschat, wearing his ceremonial Lying hat, spoke to -non-Zoons. Esk usually went with him. He tried hinting that she should -obey the unwritten rules of Zoon life and stay afloat, but a hint was to -Esk what a mosquito bite was to the average rhino because she was already -learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly -rewrite them so that they don't apply to you. +驳船在一些城镇停靠. 按照传统, 只有男人上岸, 而且 +只有阿姆沙特戴着仪式性的撒谎帽跟非祖恩人说话. 艾斯克通常 +跟他一起去. 他试图暗示她应该遵守祖恩生活的不成文规则, +留在船上--但暗示对艾斯克来说, 就像蚊子叮咬对普通犀牛 +一样不痛不痒, 因为她已经学会了一件事: 如果你无视规则, 人们 +有一半时间会悄悄地把规则重写一遍, 好让它们不再适用于你. - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 119-120 (next passage is a direct continuation of this one) %passage 7 -The town was smaller than Ohulan, and very different because it lay on the -junction of three trade routes quite apart from the river itself. It was -built around one enormous square which was a cross between a permanent -exotic traffic jam and a tent village. Camels kicked mules, mules kicked -horses, horses kicked camels and they all kicked humans; there was a riot -of colours, a din of noise, a nasal orchestration of smells and the steady, -heady sound of hundreds of people working hard at making money. - -One reason for the bustle was that over large parts of the continent other -people preferred to make money without working at all, and since the Disc -had yet to develop a music recording industry they were forced to fall back -on older, more traditional forms of banditry. - -Strangely enough these often involved considerable effort. Rolling heavy -rocks to the top of cliffs for a decent ambush, cutting down trees to -block the road, and digging a pit lined with spikes while still keeping a -wicked edge on a dagger probably involved a much greater expenditure of -thought and muscle than more socially-acceptable professions but, -nevertheless, there were still people misguided enough to endure all this, -plus long nights in uncomfortable surroundings, merely to get their hands -on perfectly ordinary large boxes of jewels. - - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] +这座城镇比奥胡兰小, 却别具一格, 因为 +它坐落在三条商道的交汇处, 与河流本身相隔甚远. 整个城镇围绕着 +一个巨大的广场而建, 那地方既是永远拥挤嘈杂的异域集贸市场, 又像个 +帐篷村落. 骆驼踢骡子, 骡子踢马, 马踢骆驼, 而它们全都踢人; 这里 +色彩缤纷, 喧闹震天, 气味在鼻腔里交响成一支管弦乐, 还有数百人拼命赚钱时 +那持续不断令人亢奋的声响. + +这番忙碌景象的缘由之一, 是这片大陆的 +大部分地区, 其他人更愿意不费吹灰之力地赚钱; 而 +由于碟形世界尚未发展出唱片工业, 他们便只好重操那些古老而更"传统"的劫掠行当. + +说来也怪, 这些行当往往颇费力气. 把沉重的石块滚上悬崖顶端 +好设一场像样的埋伏, 砍倒树木堵塞道路, 还要挖个布满尖刺的深坑, 同时 +还得把匕首磨得锋利无比--这些恐怕比那些更受社会认可的职业, 要耗费 +多得多的心思和力气. 尽管如此. 仍有人执迷不悟, 甘愿忍受这一切, 外加 +在恶劣环境里度过漫漫长夜, 只为了把那些普普通通装满宝石的大箱子弄到手. + + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 120-121 (this passage is a direct continuation of preceding one; # "I said, what is happening here?" actually omits "is" # but must be a typo--fixed here to avoid bug reports; # 'broomstick' is Esk's disguised wizard's staff) %passage 8 -So a town like Zemphis was the place where caravans split, mingled and -came together again, as dozens of merchants and travellers banded together -for protection against the socially disadvantaged on the trails ahead. -Esk, wandering unregarded amidst the bustle, learned all this by the simple -method of finding someone who looked important and tugging on the hem of -his coat. +于是, 像泽姆菲斯这样的城镇, 便是商队分流, 交汇,再聚合的地方--几十个商人 +和旅者结伴而行, 以求在接下来的路途上防范 +那些"社会弱势群体".艾斯克在喧嚣中无人注意地闲逛, 她了解这一切的方法 +很简单: 找个看起来重要的人, 拽一拽他的衣角. -This particular man was counting bales of tobacco and would have succeeded -but for the interruption. +这人当时正在数烟叶包, 若不是被打断, 本该顺利数完. -"What?" +"什么?" -"I said, what is happening here?" +"我说, 这里在干什么?" -The man meant to say: "Push off and bother someone else." He meant to -give her a light cuff about the head. So he was astonished to find himself -bending down and talking seriously to a small, grubby-faced child holding -a large broomstick (which also, it seemed to him later, was in some -indefinable way /paying attention/). +那人本想回一句:"走开, 烦别人去."他本想朝她 +脑袋上轻拍一下. 然而他却惊异地发现自己弯下腰来, 认真地 +跟一个脸蛋脏兮兮的小不点儿说起话来--这小孩 +还抱着一把大扫帚(他后来才觉得, 那把扫帚也在某种难以言说的意义上"留神听着"). -He explained about the caravans. The child nodded. +他解释了商队的事. 小孩点点头. -"People all get together to travel?" +"人们都结伴旅行?" -"Precisely." +"正是." -"Where to?" +"去哪儿?" -"All sorts of places. Sto Lat, Pseudopolis... Ankh-Morpork, of course...." +"各种地方. 斯托拉特, 普塞多波利斯...当然, 还有安卡-莫波克..." -"But the river goes there," said Esk, reasonably. "Barges. The Zoons." +"可那条河也通到那儿呀,"艾斯克有理有据地说,"有驳船嘛, 还有祖恩人." -"Ah, yes," said the merchant, "but they charge high prices and they can't -carry everything and, anyway, no one trusts them much." +"啊, 对,"商人说,"但他们要价高, 又不能什么都运, 再说, 大家也不太信任他们." -"But they're very honest!" +"可他们非常诚实呀!" -"Huh, yes," he said. "But you know what they say: never trust an honest -man." He smiled knowingly. +"哼, 是啊,"他说,"可你知道大家怎么说吗, 永远别信一个诚实的人."他心照不宣地笑了笑. -"Who says that?" +"谁说的?" -"They do. You know. People," he said, a certain uneasiness entering his -voice. +"他们呗. 你知道的, 大家."他说, 语气里带上了一丝不安. -"Oh," said Esk. She thought about it. "They must be very silly," she said -primly. "Thank you, anyway." - - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] +"哦,"艾斯克说. 她想了想, 一本正经地说: "他们一定很傻. 不过, 还是谢谢您." + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 127-128 (this time broomstick is Granny's defective witch's broomstick) %passage 9 -The broomstick lay between two trestles. Granny Weatherwax sat on a rock -outcrop while a dwarf half her height, wearing an apron that was a mass of -pockets, walked around the broom and occasionally poked it. - -Eventually he kicked the bristles and gave a long intake of breath, a sort -of reverse whistle, which is the secret sign of craftsman across the -universe and means that something expensive is about to happen. +扫帚横搁在两个支架之间. 威瑟瓦克斯奶奶坐在一处岩石露头上, 而 +一个身高只有她一半的矮人, 系着一条满是口袋的围裙, 绕着扫帚走来走去, 时不时戳它一下. -"Weellll," he said. "I could get the apprentices in to look at this, I -could. It's an education in itself. And you say it actually managed to -get airborne?" +终于, 他踢了踢扫帚头, 长长地倒吸了一口气--那是 +一种反向的口哨声, 是宇宙间工匠心照不宣的秘密信号, 意味着要花大钱了. -"It flew like a bird," said Granny. +"唔--"他说, "我可以叫学徒们来看看这东西, 真的可以. 光这本身就算 +一堂课了. 你说它居然真能飞起来?" -The dwarf lit a pipe. "I should very much like to see that bird," he said -reflectively. "I should imagine it's quite something to watch, a bird like -that." +"它飞得像鸟儿一样."奶奶说. -"Yes, but can you repair it?" said Granny. "I'm in a hurry." +矮人点了一斗烟."我倒是很想去看看那只鸟儿,"他若有所思 +地说,"我猜, 那样的鸟儿飞起来一定很值得一看." -The dwarf sat down, slowly and deliberately. +"是啊, 可你能修好它吗?"奶奶说, "我赶时间." -"As for /repair/," he said, "well, I don't know about /repair/. Rebuild, -maybe. Of course, it's hard to get the bristles these days even if you can -find people to do the proper binding, and the spells need--" +矮人不紧不慢地坐了下来. -"I don't want it rebuilt, I just want it to work properly," said Granny. +"至于修嘛,"他说,"呃, 修不敢说. 重新造一个, 也许还行. 当然啦, 如今 +扫帚头可不好找, 就算能找到人做正经的绑扎, 咒语还得--" -"It's an early model, you see," the dwarf plugged on. "Very tricky, those -early models. You can't get the wood--" +"我不要重新造, 我只要它能好好飞."奶奶说. -He was picked up bodily until his eyes were level with Granny's. Dwarves, -being magical in themselves as it were, are quite resistant to magic but -her expression looked as though she was trying to weld his eyeballs to the -back of his skull. +"您瞧, 这是早期型号,"矮人继续絮叨, "那些早期型号可麻烦了. 木材根本弄不到--" -"Just repair it," she hissed. "Please?" +他整个人被拎了起来, 直到眼睛与奶奶的眼睛平齐. 矮人本身算得上是 +魔法生物, 对魔法有相当的抵抗力, 但奶奶那神情, 简直像是要把他的眼珠子焊到后脑勺上去. -"What, make a bodge job?" said the dwarf, his pipe clattering to the floor. +"就给我修好它,"她嘶声道,"行吗?" -"Yes." +"什么, 凑合着糊弄一下?"矮人说, 烟斗哐当掉在地上. -"Patch it up, you mean? Betray my training by doing half a job?" +"对." -"Yes," said Granny. Her pupils were two little black holes. +"你是说, 草草补一补? 背叛我的手艺, 干半吊子活儿?" -"Oh," said the dwarf. "Right, then." +"对."奶奶说. 她的瞳孔是两个小黑洞. - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] +"哦,"矮人说,"那好吧." + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 185 (actually uses four periods to mark a sentence ending in an ellipsis) %passage 10 -There may be universes where librarianship is considered a peaceful sort of -occupation, and where the risks are limited to large volumes falling off -the shelves on to one's head, but the keeper of a /magic/ library is no job -for the unwary. Spells have power, and merely writing them down and -shoving them between covers doesn't do anything to reduce it. The stuff -leaks. Books tend to react with one another, creating randomized magic -with a mind of its own. Books of magic are usually chained to their -shelves, but not to prevent them being stolen.... +也许在某个宇宙里, 图书管理员算是一种安稳平和的职业, 风险 +无非是被书架上掉下来的大部头砸到脑袋. 但掌管一座魔法图书馆, 可不是 +粗心大意的人能干的活儿. 咒语自有其力量, 仅仅把它们写下来塞进书页之间, 并不能 +削弱分毫. 那东西会泄漏. 书籍之间会彼此反应, 生出拥有自身意志的随机魔法. 魔法书 +通常被锁链拴在书架上--但锁住它们, 可不是为了防止被偷走... - [Equal Rites, by Terry Pratchett] + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage %e title # @@ -807,258 +711,211 @@ shelves, but not to prevent them being stolen.... # p. 136 (Signet edition; passage is a footnote; # Vetinari doesn't show up as recurring Patrician until /Sourcery/) %passage 1 -Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up -with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was -the Man; he had the Vote. +安卡-莫波克曾尝试过多种政体, 最终落实为 +一种名为一人一票的民主形式. 执政官便是那一人:他拥有那一票. - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 11 %passage 2 -Mort was getting interested in the rock. It had curly shells in it, relics -of the early days of the world when the Creator had made creatures out of -stone, no-one knew why. +莫特开始对那块石头产生了兴趣. 石头里 +嵌着卷曲的贝壳, 那是世界早期的遗存--那时造物主用石头造出各种生物, 没人知道为什么. -Mort was interested in lots of things. Why people's teeth fitted together -so neatly, for example. He'd given that one a lot of thought. Then there -was the puzzle of why the sun came out during the day, instead of at night -when the light would come in useful. He knew the standard explanation, -which somehow didn't seem satisfying. +莫特感兴趣的事情多得很. 比如说, 为什么人们的牙齿能咬合得 +那么整齐? 他在这事儿上花了不少心思. 还有一道难题: 为什么太阳 +偏偏在白昼出来, 而不是在夜晚——夜晚的光线才正派得上用场呢. 他知道 +标准解释, 但不知怎的, 总觉得不够满意. -In short, Mort is one of those people who are more dangerous than a bag -full of rattlesnakes. He was determined to discover the underlying logic -behind the universe. +简而言之, 莫特就是那种比一袋响尾蛇还要危险的人. 他决心 +要找出宇宙背后隐藏的逻辑. -Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one. The Creator had a -lot of remarkably good ideas when he put the world together, but making it -understandable hadn't been one of them. +这恐怕会很难, 因为根本不存在这种东西. 造物主在创造世界时有 +很多绝妙的好主意, 但让世界变得可以理解, 却不在其中. - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 18 %passage 3 -"But you're Death," said Mort. "You go around killing people!" +"可你是死神呀,"莫特说,"你到处去杀人!" -I? KILL? said Death, obviously offended. CERTAINLY NOT. PEOPLE /GET/ -KILLED, BUT THAT'S THEIR BUSINESS. I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON. AFTER -ALL, IT'D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING, -WOULDN'T IT? +我? 杀人? 死神显然被冒犯了. 当然不是. 人们被杀, 那是 +他们自己的事, 我只是从那时起接手而已. 毕竟, 要是人被杀却不会死, 那 +这世界岂不是蠢透了, 你说呢? - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 25 %passage 4 -"Is it magic?" said Mort. +"这是魔法吗?"莫特问. -WHAT DO YOU THINK? said Death. AM I REALLY HERE, BOY? +你觉得呢? 死神说. 我真的在这儿吗, 孩子? -"Yes," said Mort slowly. "I... I've watched people. They look at you but -they don't see you, I think. You do something to their minds." +"是的,"莫特慢慢地说,"我...我观察过人们. 他们看着你, 但我想他们并没有真正 +看见你. 你对他们的脑子做了什么." -Death shook his head. +死神摇了摇头. -THEY DO IT ALL THEMSELVES, he said. THERE'S NO MAGIC. PEOPLE CAN'T SEE ME, -THEY SIMPLY WON'T ALLOW THEMSELVES TO DO IT. UNTIL IT'S TIME, OF COURSE. -WIZARDS CAN SEE ME, AND CATS. BUT YOUR AVERAGE HUMAN... NO, NEVER. He blew -a smoke ring at the sky, and added, STRANGE BUT TRUE. +那是他们自己做的, 他说. 没有魔法. 人们看不见我, 他们只是不允许 +自己看见. 当然, 直到时辰到了为止. 巫师能看见我, 猫也能. 但普通人类...不, 永远不会. 他向 +天空吐了一个烟圈, 又补了一句: 说来奇怪, 却是事实. - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 48-49 (Binky is Death's white horse, who was left 'parked' on a # castle's roof; Mort is Death's novice apprentice) %passage 5 -They were on the roof before he spoke again. +他们到了屋顶上, 死神才再次开口. -YOU TRIED TO WARN HIM, he said, removing Binky's nosebag. +你试图警告过他, 他说, 一边取下宾奇的头罩. -"Yes, sir. Sorry." +"是的，先生。抱歉." -YOU CANNOT INTERFERE WITH FATE. WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE WHO SHOULD LIVE AND -WHO SHOULD DIE? +你不能干涉命运. 你算什么人, 凭什么判断谁该活谁该死? -Death watched Mort's expression carefully. +死神仔细端详着莫特的表情. -ONLY THE GODS ARE ALLOWED TO DO THAT, he added. TO TINKER WITH THE FATE OF -EVEN ONE INDIVIDUAL COULD DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? +只有众神才被允许这么做, 他又补了一句. 哪怕只改动一个人的命运, 都可能毁掉整个世界. 你明白吗? -Mort nodded miserably. +莫特痛苦地点了点头. -"Are you going to send me home?" he said. +"你会送我回家吗?"他问. -Death reached down and swung him up behind the saddle. +死神俯身, 把他拎起来甩到马鞍后面. -BECAUSE YOU SHOWED COMPASSION? NO. I MIGHT HAVE DONE IF YOU HAD SHOWN -PLEASURE. BUT YOU MUST LEARN THE COMPASSION PROPER TO YOUR TRADE. +因为你表现出了同情? 不. 若是你表现出愉悦, 我倒可能那么做. 但你必须学会你这一行当应有的同情. -"What's that?" +"那是什么?" -A /SHARP/ EDGE. +锋利的刀刃. - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 59-61 (in Ankh-Morpork, Mort has accidentally walked through a wall # into an immigrant Klatchian family's dining room; 'the creature # who was not there' refers to Death during an earlier event) %passage 6 -"I'm no demon! I'm a human!" he said, and stopped in shock as his words -emerged in perfect Klatch. +"我不是恶魔! 我是人!"他说, 却震惊地顿住了--因为他嘴里冒出的竟是完美的克拉奇语. -"You're a thief?" said the father. "A murderer? To creep in thus, are you -a /tax-gatherer/?" His hand slipped under the table and came up holding a -meat cleaver honed to paper thinness. His wife screamed and dropped the -plate and clutched the youngest children to her. +"你是贼?"那父亲说,"凶手?这样偷偷摸摸进来, 你是收税官吧?"他的手滑到桌下, 再抬起来时, 握着一把磨得纸一样薄的切肉刀. 妻子尖叫着扔下盘子, 把最小的孩子搂进怀里. -Mort watched the blade weave through the air, and gave in. +莫特看着刀刃在空中比划, 认命了. -"I bring you greetings from the uttermost circles of hell," he hazarded. +"我带来地狱最底层的问候."他姑且一试. -The change was remarkable. The cleaver was lowered and the family broke -into broad smiles. +变化立竿见影. 切肉刀放下了, 全家人绽开灿烂的笑容. -"There is much luck to us if a demon visits," beamed the father. "What is -your wish, O foul spawn of Offler's loins?" +"若有恶魔来访, 那是我们的福气."父亲眉开眼笑,"你有什么愿望, 奥弗勒胯下邪恶的孽种?" -"Sorry?" said Mort. +"什么?"莫特说. -"A demon brings blessing and good fortune on the man that helps it," said -the man. "How may we be of assistance, O evil dogsbreath of the nether -pit?" +"恶魔会给帮助它的人带来祝福和好运,"那男人说,"我们该如何效劳, 深渊里邪恶的恶臭狗肺?" -"Well, I'm not very hungry," said Mort, "but if you know where I can get a -fast horse, I could be in Sto Lat before sunset." +"呃, 我不太饿,"莫特说,"但如果你知道哪儿能弄到快马, 我可以在日落前赶到斯托拉特." -The man beamed and bowed. "I know the very place, noxious extrusion of the -bowels, if you would be so good as to follow me." +男人笑着鞠了一躬."我正好知道地方, 肠道的恶臭排泄物, 请随我来." -Mort hurried out after him. The ancient ancestor watched them go with a -critical expression, its jowls rhythmically chewing. +莫特匆匆跟了出去. 那位古老的祖先用挑剔的目光目送他们离去, 双颊有节奏地咀嚼着. -"That was what they call a demon around here?" it said. "Offler rot this -country of dampness, even their demons are third-rate, not a patch on the -demons we had in the Old Country." +"那就是他们管叫恶魔的东西?"它说,"奥弗勒让这潮湿的国家烂掉吧, 连恶魔都是三流货色, 跟咱们老家那会儿的恶魔根本没法比." -The wife placed a small bowl of rice in the folded middle pair of hands of -the Offler statue (it would be gone in the morning) and stood back. +妻子把一小碗米饭放在奥弗勒雕像叠起的中间那双手里(明早就会消失), 然后退后一步. -"Husband did say that last month at the /Curry Gardens/ he served a creature -who was not there," she said. "He was impressed." +"当家的上个月在咖喱花园说过, 他招待过一个不在那儿的玩意儿,"她说,"他印象很深." -Ten minutes later the man returned and, in solemn silence, placed a small -heap of gold coins on the table. They represented enough wealth to -purchase quite a large part of the city. +十分钟后, 男人回来了, 庄重而沉默地把一小堆金币放在桌上. 那笔钱足够买下城里很大一片地方. -"He had a bag of them," he said. +"他有一整袋呢."他说. -The family stared at the money for some time. The wife sighed. +一家人盯着钱看了好一会儿. 妻子叹了口气. -"Riches bring many problems," she said. "What are we to do?" +"钱财带来许多麻烦,"她说,"咱们怎么办?" -"We return to Klatch," said the husband firmly, "where our children can grow -up in a proper country, true to the glorious traditions of our ancient race -and men do not need to work as waiters for wicked masters but can stand tall -and proud. And we must leave right now, fragrant blossom of the date palm." +"回克拉奇去,"丈夫坚定地说,"让孩子们在正当的国度长大, 恪守我们先祖的光荣传统, 男人不用给邪恶的主子当跑堂, 而是可以堂堂正正地挺起腰杆. 咱们得马上走, 枣椰树的芬芳花朵." -"Why so soon, O hard-working son of the desert?" +"为何这么急, 沙漠里勤劳的儿子?" -"Because," said the man, "I have just sold the Patrician's champion -racehorse." +"因为,"那男人说,"我刚把执政官的冠军赛马给卖了." - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 139-140 (passage ends mid-sentence) %passage 7 -"You don't know much about monarchy, do you?" said Keli. +"你对君主制了解不多, 是吧?"凯莉说. -"Um, no?" +"呃, 不了解?" -"She means better to be a dead queen in your own castle than a live -commoner somewhere else," said Cutwell, [...] +"她的意思是, 与其在别处做个活着的平民, 不如在自己的城堡里做个死去的女王,"卡特维尔说, [...] - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 158 %passage 8 -"You mean you won't help?" said Mort. "Not even if you can?" +"你是说你不肯帮忙?"莫特说,"就算你有能力也不帮?" -"Give the boy a prize," growled Albert. "And it's no good thinking you can -appeal to my better nature under this here crusty exterior," he added, -"'cos my interior's pretty damn crusty too." +“给这小子颁个奖吧,"阿尔伯特嘟囔道,"别以为你可以打动我 +这副硬壳外表底下那点善良本性,"他又补了一句,"因为 +我内里也硬邦邦得很." - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 159-160 (Death has come to an employment agency--a new concept in # Ankh-Morpork--looking for a job) %passage 9 -"And what was your previous position?" +"那么您之前的职位是?" -I BEG YOUR PARDON? +您说什么? -"What did you do for a living?" said the thin young man behind the desk. +"您以什么为生?"桌后那个瘦削的年轻人问道. -I USHERED SOULS INTO THE NEXT WORLD. I WAS THE GRAVE OF ALL HOPE. I WAS -THE ULTIMATE REALITY. I WAS THE ASSASSIN AGAINST WHOM NO LOCK WOULD HOLD. +我引领灵魂进入来世. 我是一切希望的坟墓. 我是终极的真实. 我是万锁莫御的刺客. -"Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?" +"好的, 我明白了, 但您有什么特别的技能吗?" -I SUPPOSE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF EXPERTISE WITH AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS? he -ventured after a while. +我想...我对农具应该还算有些熟练度? 过了一会儿, 他试探着说. -The young man shook his head firmly. +年轻人坚定地摇了摇头. -NO? +没有? - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 205 %passage 10 -Death raised his skull and sniffed the air. +死神扬起颅骨, 嗅了嗅空气. -The sound cut through all the other noises in the hall and forced them -into silence. +那声音穿透大厅里所有的嘈杂, 迫使一切归于寂静. -It is the kind of noise that is heard on the twilight edges of dreams, -the sort that you wake from in the cold sweat of mortal horror. It was -the snuffling under the door of dread. It was like the snuffling of a -hedgehog, but if so then it was the kind of hedgehog that crashes out of -the verges and flattens lorries. It was the kind of noise you wouldn't -want to hear twice; you wouldn't want to hear it /once/. +那是一种你在梦境昏昧边缘才能听到的声音--那种让你浑身冷汗, 在极度恐惧中 +惊醒的声音. 那是恐惧之门下传来的鼻息声. 像刺猬的哼哼, 但若是刺猬, 那便是 +能从路边猛冲而出, 碾平卡车的刺猬, 那种声音, 你绝不会想听第二遍: 甚至一次都不想. - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 207 %passage 11 -"Well, that was a lesson to all of us," the bursar continued, brushing dust -and candle wax off his robe. He looked up, expecting to see the statue of -Alberto Malich back on its pedestal. +"好了, 这对我们所有人都是一个教训,"财务官一边掸掉袍子上的灰尘和烛蜡, 一边继续说道. 他抬起头, 以为能看到阿尔贝托·马利克雕像回到基座上. -"Clearly even statues have feelings," he said. "I myself recall, when I -was but a first-year student, writing my name on his... well, never mind. -The point is, I propose here and now we replace the statue." +"显然就连雕像也有感情,"他说,"我自己还记得, 当我还是大一新生的时候, 曾在它的...呃, 算了, 不提了. 关键是, 我在此提议, 我们立刻把雕像换掉." -Dead silence greeted this suggestion. +这个建议迎来了死一般的寂静. -"With, say, an exact likeness cast in gold. Suitably embellished with -jewels, as befits our great founder," he went on brightly. +"比如说, 用黄金铸一座一模一样的, 再镶嵌上合适的宝石, 这才配得上我们伟大的创校人嘛,"他兴高采烈地接着说. -"And to make sure no students deface it in any way I suggest we then erect -it in the deepest cellar," he continued. +"为了确保没有任何学生能损毁它, 我建议把它立在最深的地窖里,"他继续说. -"And then lock the door," he added. Several wizards began to cheer up. +"然后把门锁上,"他又补了一句. 几位巫师开始露出喜色. -"And throw away the key?" said Rincewind. +"再把钥匙扔掉?"灵思风说. -"And /weld/ the door," the bursar said. He had just remembered about The -Mended Drum. He thought for a while and remembered about the physical -fitness regime as well. +"把门焊上,"财务官说. 他刚刚想起了破鼓酒吧那档子事. 他又想了一会儿, 也记起了那个健身计划. -"And then brick up the doorway," he said. There was a round of applause. +"然后再把门洞砌死,"他说. 响起一片掌声. -"And throw away the brick layer!" chortled Rincewind, who felt he was -getting the hang of this. +"再把砌砖工也扔掉!"灵思风咯咯笑道, 觉得自己已经摸到门道了. -The bursar scowled at him. "No need to get carried away," he said. +财务官瞪了他一眼."没必要那么得寸进尺."他说. - [Mort, by Terry Pratchett] + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage %e title # @@ -1067,220 +924,177 @@ The bursar scowled at him. "No need to get carried away," he said. %title Sourcery (11) # p. 9 (Signet edition; passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) %passage 1 -"[...] And what would humans be without love?" +"[...], 而人类如果没有爱, 会是什么样子?" -RARE, said Death. [...] +"罕见."死神说. [...] - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 180 (passage starts mid-paragraph) %passage 2 -They suffered from the terrible delusion that something could be done. -They seemed prepared to make the world the way they wanted it or die in the -attempt, and the trouble with dying in the attempt was that you died in -the attempt. +他们深受一种可怕的错觉之苦, 以为事情总还有可为之处. 他们似乎 +准备好要把世界改造成自己想要的模样, 否则便在尝试中死去——而"在尝试中死去"的问题 +恰恰在于: 你会在尝试中死去. - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 11 ('worth while': two words is accurate, although strange) %passage 3 -"I meant," said Ipslore, bitterly, "what is there in this world that makes -living worth while?" +"我是说,"伊普斯洛尔苦涩地说,"这世上究竟有什么, 能让人生值得一过?" -CATS, he said eventually, CATS ARE NICE. +猫, 他最后说, 猫挺不错的. -"Curse you!" +"诅咒你!" -MANY HAVE, said Death evenly. +很多人都这么干过, 死神平静地说. - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 40-41 (this used to have a correction for "an obvious typo" in the last # sentence [before the footnote] which was actually a transcription # error, with "were" erroneously inserted [causing the sentence to # parse oddly] but not present in the original text; fixed now) %passage 4 -The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This -thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that -was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well. This thief -had scandalised Ankh by taking a particular interest in stealing, with -astonishing success, things that were in fact not only nailed down but -also guarded by keen-eyed guards in inaccessible strongrooms. There are -artists that will paint an entire chapel ceiling; this was the kind of -thief that could steal it. - -This particular thief was credited with stealing the jeweled disemboweling -knife from the temple of Offler the Crocodile God during the middle of -Evensong, and the silver shoes from the Patrician's finest racehorse -while it was in the process of winning a race. When Gritoller Mimpsey, -vice-president of the Thieves' Guild, was jostled in the marketplace and -then found on returning home that a freshly-stolen handful of diamonds -had vanished from their place of concealment, he knew who to blame.(1) -This was the type of thief that could steal the initiative, the moment -and the words out of your mouth. - -(1) This was because Gritoller had swallowed the jewels for safe keeping. - - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] +这个盗贼--正如后文会看到的--属于一种特殊的类型. 他是偷窃这门艺术的大家. 别的盗贼 +顶多偷走一切没被钉牢的东西, 可他连钉子也一并偷走. 他让安卡城为之侧目, 因为 +他格外热衷于盗窃那些不仅被钉得严严实实, 而且还由目光如炬的守卫看管, 藏在 +难以企及的保险库中的物件, 并且屡屡得手, 令人咋舌. 世上有画家能画满一整座礼拜堂 +的天顶画; 他便是那种能把天顶画也偷走的小偷. + +据传, 这位神偷曾在晚祷进行到一半时, 从鳄鱼神奥弗勒的神庙里 +盗走了那柄镶宝的剖腹刀; 又曾在执政官最出色的赛马正冲向胜利的当口, 偷走 +了那匹马的银蹄. 当盗贼公会副会长格里托勒·明普西在集市上被人挤了一下, 回家后发现 +刚到手的一把钻石已不翼而飞, 他立刻知道该找谁算账--因为他为了保险起见, 把宝石吞进了 +肚子里. (1)这便是那种能偷走主动权或者时机, 甚至是你话到嘴边那几个字的小偷. + +(1)因为格里托勒为了安全起见把宝石吞了下去。 + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 63-64 ('Compleet', 'Majik', 'enterr', 'physycal', 'hys', 'bodie', # 'Destinie', 'Deathe', 'werre', 'nowe', 'menne', 'Ende', # 'Worlde', 'hadd', 'bee', 'goddes', 'ould', 'Apocralypse', # 'legende', 'thee': all accurate; 'ould' may be a typo...) %passage 5 -It was deathly quiet in the Library. The books were no longer frantic. -They'd passed through their fear and out into the calm waters of abject -terror, and they crouched on their shelves like so many mesmerised rabbits. - -A long hairy arm reached up and grabbed /Casplock's Compleet Lexicon of -Majik and Precepts for the Wise/ before it could back away, soothed its -terror with a long-fingered hand, and opened it under 'S'. The Librarian -smoothed the trembling page gently and ran a horny nail down the entries -until he came to: - - *Sourceror*, /n. (mythical). A proto-wizard, a doorway through/ - /which new majik may enterr the world, a wizard not limited by/ - /the physycal capabilities of hys own bodie, not by Destinie,/ - /nor by Deathe. It is written that there once werre sourcerors/ - /in the youth of the world but not may there by nowe and blessed/ - /be, for sourcery is not for menne and the return of sourcery/ - /would mean the Ende of the Worlde... If the Creator hadd meant/ - /menne to bee as goddes, he ould have given them wings./ - /SEE ALSO: thee Apocralypse, the legende of thee Ice Giants,/ - /and thee Teatime of the Goddes./ - -The Librarian read the cross-references, turned back to the first entry, -and stared at it through deep dark eyes for a long time. Then he put the -book back carefully, crept under his desk, and pulled the blanket over -his head. - - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] +图书馆里一片死寂. 书本们已不再慌乱. 它们已越过恐惧的边界, 驶入 +极度惊骇的平静水域, 蜷缩在书架上, 像一群被催眠的兔子. + +一条多毛的长臂伸过来，在它来得及退缩之前一把抓住《卡斯普洛克魔法大全及智者箴言》，用修长的手指安抚了它的恐惧，然后翻到“S”条目下。图书管理员轻轻抚平颤抖的书页，用角质指甲划过条目，直到找到： + + *Sourceror*，/n.(神话).原初巫师, 新魔法进入世界的门户,/ + /不受自身肉体物理能力限制的巫师, 不受命运, / + /也不受死亡所限. 据载世界初生之时曾有过原初巫师,/ + /但如今不再有, 幸哉./ + /因为原初魔法非人类所能为, 它的回归意味着世界之终结.../ + /倘若造物主意欲人类成为神明, 他早就赐予他们翅膀了./ + /另见: 天启录, 冰霜巨人的传说,/ + /以及众神的茶歇./ + +图书管理员读完了交叉引用的条目, 翻回第一条, 用深邃的黑眼睛久久地凝视着. 然后他小心地把书放回去, 爬到桌下, 把毯子蒙过头顶. + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 71-72 %passage 6 -The current Patrician, head of the extremely rich and powerful Vetinari -family, was thin, tall and apparently as cold-blooded as a dead penguin. -Just by looking at him you could tell he was the sort of man you'd expect -to keep a white cat, and caress it idly while sentencing people to death -in a piranha tank; and you'd hazard for good measure that he probably -collected rare, thin porcelain, turning it over and over in his blue-white -fingers while distant screams echoed from the depths of the dungeons. You -wouldn't put it past him to use the word "exquisite" and have thin lips. -He looked the kind of person who, when they blinked, you mark it off on -the calendar. - -Practically none of this was in fact the case, although he did have a small -and exceedingly elderly wire-haired terrier called Wuffles that smelled -badly and wheezed at people. It was said to be the only thing in the -entire world he truly cared about. He did of course sometimes have people -horribly tortured to death, but this was considered to be perfectly -acceptable behaviour for a civic ruler and generally approved of by the -overwhelming majority of citizens.(1) The people of Ankh are of a -practical persuasion, and felt that the Patrician's edict forbidding all -street theatre and mime artists made up for a lot of things. He didn't -administer a reign of terror, just the occasional light shower. - -(1) The overwhelming majority of citizens being defined in this case as -everyone not currently hanging upside down over a scorpion pit. - - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] +如今的执政官, 出身于极其富有且权倾朝野的维提纳里家族, 身材瘦高, 显然 +冷血得像一只死企鹅. 只需看他一眼, 你便会觉得他就是那种人: 养一只白猫, 一边 +漫不经心地抚弄它, 一边把犯人判处扔进食人鱼池; 你还可以大胆推测, 他大概收藏着 +稀有而薄脆的瓷器, 用蓝白色的指尖反复把玩, 同时远方地牢深处 +传来回荡的惨叫. 他用起"精美绝伦"这类词来, 你一点都不觉得奇怪, 而且 +嘴唇必定很薄. 他看上去就是那种--每次眨眼, 你都该在日历上记一笔的人物. + +实际上, 这些臆想几乎全都不成立, 尽管他确实养了一只体型小巧且年迈至极的 +刚毛猎狐梗, 名叫沃夫斯, 浑身臭烘烘的, 见人就呼哧喘气. 据说那是他在整个世界 +唯一真正在乎的东西. 他当然偶尔也会让人遭受酷刑致死, 但这在市政统治者中算是 +完全可以接受的行为, 并普遍得到了绝大多数市民的认可. (1)安卡市民是务实的, 他们 +觉得执政官颁布的禁止街头戏剧和哑剧艺人的法令, 已经足够抵偿很多事了. 他统治的 +不是恐怖之政, 只是偶尔下点小雨. + +(1)此处的"绝大多数市民"定义是: 所有尚未倒吊在蝎子坑上方的人. + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 75 %passage 7 -"What exactly /is/ the Aprocralypse?" +"这个大破灭到底是什么东西?" -Rincewind hesitated. "Well," he said, "it's the end of the world. Sort -of." +灵思风迟疑了一下. "呃,"他说, "就是世界末日. 差不多吧." -"Sort of? /Sort of/ the end of the world? You mean we won't be certain? -We'll all look around and say 'Pardon me, did you hear something?'?" +"差不多? 差不多是世界末日? 你是说我们还不确定? 我们大家 +东张西望，然后说'抱歉, 你听到什么动静了吗'?" -"It's just that no two seers have ever agreed about it. There have been -all kinds of vague predictions. Quite mad, some of them. So it was -called the Apocralypse." He looked embarrassed. "It's a sort of -apocryphal Apocalypse. A kin of pun, you see." +"问题在于, 从来没有两个先知意见一致过. 各种含糊的预言 +层出不穷. 有些简直疯得厉害. 所以它被叫做大破灭."他显得 +有点尴尬."算是伪经式的天启吧. 你看, 这就是个双关语." - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 110 %passage 8 -"You're very quiet, Spelter. Do you not agree?" +"你很安静啊, 斯佩尔特. 你不同意吗?" -No. The world had sourcery once, and gave it up for wizardry. Wizardry is -magic for men, not gods. It's not for us. There was something wrong with -it, and we have forgotten what it was. I liked wizardry. It didn't upset -the world. It fitted. It was right. A wizard was all I wanted to be. +不. 世界曾有过原初魔法, 但放弃了它, 转而选择了巫术. 巫术是人类的魔法, 不是神明的. 它不适合 +我们. 它有什么不对劲的地方, 而我们已忘了那是什么. 我喜欢巫术. 它 +不扰乱世界. 它恰到好处. 它是正确的. 我只想做个巫师. -He looked down at his feet. +他低头看着自己的脚. -"Yes," he whispered. +"是的."他低声说. - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 141-142 (Rincewind and Nijel have just entered a harem) %passage 9 -Rincewind had eyes for none of this. [...] they were swamped by the -considerably bigger flood of panic at the sight of four guards turning -towards him with scimitars in their hands and the light of murder in their -eyes. +灵思风对这些全然视而不见. [...] 他们被远远更大的恐慌洪流所淹没--四个守卫 +正转身面向他, 手中弯刀寒光闪闪, 眼中杀意毕露. -Without hesitation, Rincewind took a step backwards. +灵思风毫不犹豫地向后退了一步. -"Over to you, friend," he said. +"交给你了, 朋友."他说. -"Right!" +"好!" -Nijel drew his sword and held it out in front of him, his arms trembling at -the effort. +尼杰尔拔出剑, 举在身前, 双臂因用力而微微颤抖. -There were a few seconds of total silence as everyone waited to see what -would happen next. And then Nijel uttered the battle cry that Rincewind -would never quite forget to the end of this life. +全场彻底沉默了数秒, 所有人都在等着看接下来会发生什么. 然后, 尼杰尔喊出了 +那句灵思风这辈子都忘不了的战吼. -"Erm," he said, "excuse me...." +"呃,"他说,"劳驾..." - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 198-199 %passage 10 -The astro-philosophers of Krull once succeeded in proving conclusively -that all places are one place and that the distance between them is an -illusion, and this news was an embarrassment to all thinking philosophers -because it did not explain, among other things, signposts. After years of -wrangling the whole thing was then turned over to Ly Tin Wheedle, arguably -the Disc's greatest philosopher,(1) who after some thought proclaimed that -although it was indeed true that all places were one place, that place was -/very large/. +克鲁尔的星象哲学家们曾一度成功地证明, 所有地方都是一个地方, 它们 +之间的距离不过是幻觉. 这一消息让所有善于思考的哲学家都颇为难堪, 因为它 +完全没有解释--别的不说--路标是怎么回事. 经过数年的争论, 整个问题 +被移交给了莱·廷·威德尔--堪称碟形世界最伟大的哲学家(1)--他思索一番后宣称: 虽然 +所有地方确实是一个地方, 但那个地方非常大. -And so psychic order was restored. Distance is, however, an entirely -subjective phenomenon and creatures of magic can adjust it to suit -themselves. +于是, 精神秩序得以恢复. 然而, 距离完全是一种主观现象, 而魔法生物可以随心所欲地调整它. -They are not necessarily very good at it. +不过, 他们未必擅长此道. -(1) He always argued that he was. +(1)他一直坚称自己就是. - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # # additional passage added for 5.0 # # p. 164 (passage begins mid-sentence) %passage 11 -[...] killing a brother wizard with magic was well-nigh impossible on -account of the layers of protective spells that any cautious wizard -maintained about his person at all times.(1) The first thing a young -wizard learns at Unseen University--apart from where his peg is, and -which way to the lavatory--is that he must protect himself at all times. +用魔法杀害同僚巫师几乎是不可能的, 因为任何谨慎的巫师都会 +时刻在自己周身维持层层防护法术. (1)年轻巫师在看不见的大学学到的第一件事--除了 +自己的挂钩在哪儿或是厕所在哪个方向之外--就是必须时时刻刻保护自己. -Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think -everyone is out to get them. Wizards /know/ it. +有些人认为这是偏执狂, 但并非如此. 偏执狂只是认为 +每个人都想害他们. 巫师们知道这是事实. -(1) Of course, wizards often killed one another by ordinary, non-magical -means, but this was perfectly allowable and death by assassination was -considered natural causes for a wizard. +(1)当然, 巫师们经常用普通的非魔法的方式互相杀害, 这完全是被允许的, 对于 +巫师来说, 死于暗杀被视为自然死亡. - [Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett] + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage %e title # @@ -1290,291 +1104,242 @@ considered natural causes for a wizard. # p. 318 (ROC edition; passage starts mid-paragraph; # speaker is Granny Weatherwax) %passage 1 -"[...] Destiny /is/ important, see, but people go wrong when they think it -controls them. It's the other way around." +"[...] "命运是重要的, 你看, 但人们错就错在认为 +命运控制他们. 事实正相反." - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 105-106 %passage 2 -Verence tried to avoid walking through walls. A man had his dignity. +维伦斯尽量避开穿墙而过, 男人总要顾及自己的体面. -He became aware that he was being watched. +他察觉到有什么东西在看着他. -He turned his head. +他转过头. -There was a cat sitting in the doorway, subjecting him to a slow blink. It -was a mottled grey and extremely fat... +一只猫蹲在门口, 正对他缓缓眨眼. 那是一只花斑灰猫, 胖得离谱... -No. It was extremely /big/. It was covered with so much scar tissue that -it looked like a fist with fur on it. Its ears were a couple of perforated -stubs, its eyes two yellow slits of easy-going malevolence, its tail a -twitching series of question marks as it stared at him. +不. 是大得离谱. 它浑身覆盖着层层伤疤, 看起来像一只 +长满了毛的拳头. 耳朵只是两截穿孔的残桩, 眼睛是两条黄色的 +细缝, 透着随性的恶毒; 它盯着他时, 尾巴像一串抖动的问号. -Greebo had heard that Lady Felmet had a small white female cat and had -strolled up to pay his respects. +格里博听说费尔梅特夫人养了一只白色小母猫, 便踱步前来致意. -Verence had never seen an animal with so much built-in villainy. He didn't -resist as it waddled across the floor and dried to rub itself against his -legs, purring like a waterfall. +维伦斯从没见过这么浑身都透着邪气的动物. 当它摇摇摆摆地 +穿过地板, 试图在他腿边蹭来蹭去, 发出瀑布般的 +呼噜声时, 他并没有抗拒. -"Well, well," said the king, vaguely. He reached down and made an effort -to scratch it behind the two ragged bits on top of its head. It was a -relief to find someone else besides another ghost who could see him, and -Greebo, he couldn't help feeling, was a distinctly unusual cat. Most of -the castle cats were either pampered pets or flat-eared kitchen and stable -habitues who generally resembled the very rodents they lived on. This cat, -on the other hand, was its own animal. All cats give that impression, of -course, but instead of the mindless animal self-absorption that passes for -secret wisdom in the creatures, Greebo radiated genuine intelligence. He -also radiated a smell that would have knocked over a wall and caused sinus -trouble in a dead fox. +"嗯, 嗯,"国王含糊地说. 他弯下腰, 努力在它头顶那两片 +破烂的残耳后面挠了挠. 能遇到一个除了幽灵之外也能看见他 +的活物, 真是种解脱; 而他不由自主地觉得, 格里博绝对是一只 +非同寻常的猫. 城堡里的大多数猫, 要么是被宠坏的 +宠物, 要么是厨房和马厩里那些耳朵扁平的常客, 大体上 +和它们赖以生存的啮齿动物没什么两样. 而这只猫, 是它自己的 +主人. 当然, 所有猫都给人这种感觉, 但格里博散发出的不是 +那种动物式无意识的自我专注--那常被当作猫咪的秘传智慧--而是 +真正的智慧. 它还散发出一种气味, 那种气味足以把墙熏倒, 让一只 +死狐狸都得犯鼻炎. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 14-15 %passage 3 -He wondered if ghosts hunted. Almost certainly not, he imagined. Or ate, -or drank either for that matter, and that was really depressing. He liked -a big noisy banquet and had quaffed(1) many a pint of good ale. And bad -ale, come to that. He'd never been able to tell the difference till the -following morning, usually. +他琢磨着幽灵会不会打猎. 想来几乎是不可能的. 吃喝 +恐怕也一样, 这实在令人沮丧. 他喜欢热闹喧嚣的宴席, 曾豪饮过 +许多品脱的好麦酒--坏麦酒也一样, 说起来. 他通常直到第二天早上 +才能分出两者的区别. -(1) Quaffing is like drinking, but you spill more. +(1)"豪饮"类似于"喝", 但洒得更多. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 60-61 (dwarfish mechanics: see /Equal Rites/) %passage 4 -Granny Weatherwax milked and fed the goats, banked the fire, and put a -cloth over the mirror and pulled her broomstick out from behind the door. -She went out, locked the door behind her, and hung the key on its nail in -the privy. +威瑟瓦克斯奶奶给山羊挤了奶并喂了食, 把炉火封好, 用布盖上 +镜子, 把扫帚从门后拖了出来. 她走出门, 随手锁好, 把 +钥匙挂在厕所里的钉子上. -This was quite sufficient. Only once, in the entire history of witchery -in the Ramtops, had a thief broken into a witch's cottage. The witch -concerned visited the most terrible punishment on him.(1) +这样就足够了. 在拉姆托普山脉女巫的整个历史中, 只有一次 +有个小偷闯入过女巫的小屋. 而那位女巫给了他最可怕的惩罚. (1) -Granny sat on the broom and muttered a few words, but without much -conviction. After a further couple of tries, she got off, fiddled with -the binding, and had another go. There was a suspicion of glitter from -one end of the stick, which quickly died away. +奶奶跨上扫帚, 嘀咕了几句咒语, 却底气不足. 又试了 +几次后, 她下了扫帚, 摆弄了一下绑扎, 又试了一回. 扫帚一端 +闪出一点微光. 随即又熄灭了. -"Drat," she said, under her breath. +"该死."她低声嘟囔. -She looked around carefully, in case anyone was watching. In fact it was -only a hunting badger who, hearing the thumping of running feet, poked its -head out from the bushes and saw Granny hurtling down the path with the -broomstick held stiff-armed beside her. At last the magic caught, and she -managed to vault clumsily on to it before it trundled into the night sky -as gracefully as a duck with one wing missing. +她小心翼翼地环顾四周. 生怕有人看见. 其实只有一只 +正在觅食的獾, 听见奔跑的脚步声, 从灌木丛中探出头来, 正好看见 +奶奶沿着小路猛冲, 扫帚被僵直地夹在身侧. 最后, 魔法 +终于奏效了, 她笨拙地翻身跃上扫帚--然后在它像一只缺了翅膀的 +鸭子般跌跌撞撞冲入夜空之前, 总算骑稳了. -From above the trees came a muffled curse against all dwarfish mechanics. +树林上方传来一句对矮人工匠的含糊咒骂. -(1) She did nothing, although sometimes when she saw him in the village -she'd smile in a faint, puzzled way. After three weeks of this the -suspense was too much for him and he took his own life; in fact he took it -all the way across the continent, where he became a reformed character and -never went home again. +(1) 她什么都没做, 只不过偶尔在村子里见到他时, 会露出 +一丝茫然困惑的微笑. 三个星期后, 这种悬而未决的恐惧 +让他再也受不了了, 便自我了断--其实他是自我放逐, 一路逃到了 +大陆的另一头, 在那里洗心革面, 从此再也没有回家. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 76 (passage starts mid-paragraph) %passage 5 -And, with alarming suddenness, nothing happened. +然后, 令人惊恐地突然之间, 什么事都没有发生. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 82 ('/Good/ fool': lowercase 'fool' is accurate) %passage 6 -"Is this a dagger I see before me?" he mumbled. +"我眼前所见, 可是一把匕首?"他喃喃道. -"Um. No, my lord. It's my hankerchief, you see. You can sort of tell the -difference if you look closely. It doesn't have as many sharp edges." +"呃, 不是的, 大人. 那是我的手帕, 您看. 您仔细瞧瞧 +就能分辨出来了--它没那么多锋利的刃." -"/Good/ fool," said the duke, vaguely. +"好傻瓜."公爵恍惚地说. -Totally mad, the Fool thought. Several bricks short of a bundle. So far -round the twist you could use him to open wine bottles. +彻底疯了, 弄臣心想. 脑子里少了好几根弦. 歪得离谱, 拿他开酒瓶都嫌多. -"Kneel beside me," my Fool. +"跪到我身边来, 我的弄臣." -The Fool did so. The duke laid a soiled bandage on his shoulder. +弄臣照做了. 公爵把一条脏兮兮的绷带搭在他肩上. -"Are you loyal, Fool?" he said. "Are you trustworthy?" +"你忠诚吗, 弄臣?"他说,"你可靠吗?" -"I swore to follow my lord until death," said the Fool hoarsely. +"我发过誓, 要追随主人直到死亡."弄臣沙哑地说. -The duke pressed his mad face close to the Fool, who looked up into a pair -of bloodshot eyes. +公爵把那张疯癫的脸凑近弄臣. 弄臣抬起头, 看见一双布满血丝的眼睛. -"I didn't want to," he hissed conspiratorially. "They made me do it. I -didn't want--" +"我不想那样的,"他压低声音, 密谋般地说,"是他们逼我的. 我不想--" -The door swung open. The duchess filled the doorway. In fact, she was -nearly the same shape. +门猛地推开. 公爵夫人堵住了门口--实际上, 她的身形几乎和门框一样宽. -"Leonal!" she barked. +"利昂纳尔!"她厉声喝道. -The fool was fascinated by what happened to the duke's eyes. The mad red -flame vanished, was sucked backwards, and replaced by the hard blue stare -he had come to recognize. It didn't mean, he realized, that the duke was -any less mad. Even the coldness of his sanity was madness in a way. The -duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly -went cuckoo. +弄臣被公爵眼神的变化迷住了. 那疯狂的红色火焰熄灭了, 被 +吸了回去, 取而代之的是他已然熟悉的冰冷蓝色凝视. 他意识到, 这 +并不意味着公爵好了一点. 即使他理智的冰冷, 某种程度上也是一种 +疯狂. 公爵的心智像时钟一样滴答作响--而像时钟一样, 它也会准时发疯. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 85 %passage 7 -On the crest of the moor, where in the summer partridges lurked among the -bushes like small, whirring idiots, was a standing stone. It stood roughly -where the witches' territories met, although the boundaries were never -formally marked out. +高沼地的山脊上, 立着一块巨石. 夏日里, 山鹑常像一群 +嗡嗡作响的小傻瓜似的, 潜伏在周围的灌木丛中. 这块石头 +大致矗立在几位女巫领地的交汇处--尽管边界从未正式划定过. -The stone was about the same height as a tall man, and made of a bluish -tinted rock. It was considered intensely magical because, although there -was only one of it, /no-one had ever been able to count it/; if it saw -anyone looking at it speculatively, it shuffled behind them. It was the -most self-effacing monolith ever discovered. +这块石头大约有一个高个子男人那么高, 由 +略带蓝色的岩石构成. 它被认为具有强烈的 +魔力, 因为--虽然只有这么一块--却从来没有人能数清它;若是 +它察觉到有人正用打量的目光看着它, 它便会悄悄挪到那人 +身后去. 它是有史以来被发现的最为甘于隐退的巨石. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 92 (passage starts mid-paragraph) %passage 8 -Demons were like genies or philosophy professors--if you didn't word things -/exactly/ right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and -completely misleading answers. +恶魔就像精灵或者哲学教授--如果你措辞不完全准确, 他们 +就会乐此不疲地给你绝对准确却又完全误导的答案. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 121 %passage 9 -Nanny Ogg was also out early. She hadn't been able to get any sleep -anyway, and besides, she was worried about Greebo. Greebo was one of her -few blind spots. While intellectually she would concede that he was -indeed a fat, cunning, evil-smelling multiple rapist, she nevertheless -instinctively pictured him as the small fluffy kitten he had been decades -before. The fact that he had once chased a female wolf up a tree and -seriously surprised a she-bear who had been innocently digging for roots -didn't stop her worrying that something bad might happen to him. It was -generally considered by everyone else in the kingdom that the only thing -that might slow Greebo down was a direct meteorite strike. - - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] +欧格奶奶也起了个大早. 反正她也睡不着, 而且, 她 +还在担心格里博. 格里博是她为数不多的盲点之一. 理智上, 她 +承认格里博确实是一只肥胖, 狡猾, 臭烘烘的连环强奸犯, 但她本能地 +还是把它想象成几十年前那只毛茸茸的小猫咪. 即便 +它曾把一只母狼追得上树, 还让一只正在 +老老实实挖树根的母熊大吃一惊, 这也不能阻止 +她担心格里博会遭遇什么不测. 而王国里其他 +所有人都普遍认为, 唯一能让格里博慢下来的, 恐怕 +只有陨石直击了. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 133 (the duke has locked Nanny Ogg in the castle dungeon) %passage 10 -"I really advise you all to return home," said Granny Weatherwax. "There -has probably been a misunderstanding. Everyone knows a witch cannot be -held against her will." +"我真的建议你们都回家去,"威瑟瓦克斯奶奶说,"这很可能是个误会. 谁都知道, 没人能违背女巫的意志把她关起来." -"It's gone too far this time," said a peasant. "All this burning and -taxing and now this. I blame you witches. It's got to stop. I know my -rights." +"这次闹得太过分了,"一个农民说,"又是烧人, 又是征税, 现在又添上这档子事. 我怪你们女巫. 这必须停. 我知道我的权利." -"What rights are they?" said Granny. +"什么权利?"奶奶问. -"Dunnage, cowhage-in-ordinary, badinage, leftovers, scrommidge, clary and -spunt." said the peasant promptly. "And acornage, every other year, and -the right to keep two-thirds of a goat on the common. Until he set fire to -it. It was a bloody good goat, too." +"柴火权, 普通牧草权, 嬉闹权, 残羹权, 碎屑权, 鼠尾草权和尖刺权,"那农民脱口而出,"还有橡果权, 每隔一年一次, 以及在公地上养三分之二只山羊的权利. 直到他放火烧了它. 那可真是一头好山羊." -"A man could go far, knowing his rights like you do," said Granny. "But -right now he should go home." +"一个人要是像你这样清楚自己的权利, 能走得很远,"奶奶说,"但现在, 他该回家了." - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 164 %passage 11 -"Whatever happened to the rule about not meddling in politics?" said Magrat, -watching her retreating back. +"那个不干涉政治的规定到底怎么了?"麦格莱特望着她远去的背影说. -Nanny Ogg massaged some like back into her fingers. +欧格奶奶把一点活力揉回自己的手指. -"By Hoki, that woman's got a jaw like an anvil," she said. "What was that?" +"以霍基的名义起誓, 那女人的下巴简直像铁砧, "她说,"你刚才说什么?" -"I said, what about this rule about not meddling?" said Magrat. +"我说, 那个不干涉的规定呢?" -"Ah," said Nanny. She took the girl's arm. "The thing is," she explained, -"as you advance in the Craft, you'll learn there is another rule. Esme's -obeyed it all her life." +"啊,"欧格奶奶说. 她拉住姑娘的胳膊. "事情是这样的,"她解释道,"等你在这门手艺里越走越深, 你就会知道还有另一条规矩. 埃丝米一辈子都守着它." -"And what's that?" +"那是什么?" -"When you break rules, break 'em good and hard," said Nanny, and grinned a -set of gums that were more menacing than teeth. +"你要是打破规矩, 就得把它往死里砸,"欧格奶奶说, 咧嘴一笑, 那光秃秃的牙床比牙齿还要瘆人. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 238 %passage 12 -"I mean it. Look at me. I wasn't supposed to be writing plays. Dwarfs -aren't even supposed to be able to /read/. I shouldn't worry too much -about destiny, if I was you. I was destined to be a miner. Destiny gets -it wrong half the time." +"我是认真的. 看看我. 我本不该写剧本的. 矮人甚至不该能识字. 如果我是你, 我不会太担心命运. 我注定要当矿工. 命运有一半时间是错的." -"But you said he looks like the Fool person. I can't see it myself, mark -you." +"可你说过他长得像那个弄臣. 我可看不出来, 我跟你说." -"The light's got to be right." +"得光线合适才行." -"Could be some destiny at work there." +"说不定真有命运在作祟呢." -Hwel shrugged. Destiny was funny stuff, he knew. You couldn't trust it. -Often you couldn't even see it. Just when you knew you had it cornered, it -turned out to be something else--coincidence, maybe, or providence. You -barred the door against it, and it was standing behind you. Then just when -you thought you had it nailed down it walked away with the hammer. +赫尔耸了耸肩. 命运这东西, 他知道, 很滑稽. 你不能信它. 很多时候你甚至看不见它. 就在你以为已经把它逼到墙角时, 它却变成了别的东西--也许是巧合, 也许是天意. 你把门堵上不让它进来, 它却站在你身后. 然后就在你以为已经把它钉死的时候, 它却拎着锤子走了. -He used destiny a lot. As a tool for his plays it was even better than a -ghost. There was nothing like a bit of destiny to get the old plot rolling. -But it was a mistake to think you could spot the shape of it. And as for -thinking it could be controlled... - - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] +他在剧本里大量运用命运. 作为戏剧工具, 它比鬼魂还好使. 没什么比来点儿命运更能让老套情节滚动起来了. 但要是以为你能看清它的形状, 那就错了. 至于认为它能被控制... + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 242 (passage starts mid-paragraph; Lancre has recently come out of a # magic-induced 15-year stasis; 'things ... is': 'things' plural is # accurate, though probably a typo) %passage 13 -On top of the general suspicion of witches, it was dawning on the few people -in Lancre who had any dealings with the outside world that a) either more -things had been happening than they had heard about before or b) time was -out of joint. It wasn't easy to prove(1) but the few traders who came along -the mountain tracks after the winter seemed to be rather older than they -should have been. Unexplained happenings were always more or less expected -in the Ramtops because of the high magical potential, but several years -disappearing overnight was a bit of a first. - -(1) Because of the way time was recorded among the various states, kingdoms -and cities. After all, when over an area of a hundred square miles the same -year is variously the Year of the Small Bat, the Anticipated Monkey, the -Hunting Cloud, Fat Cows, Three Bright Stallions and at least nine numbers -recording the time since(2) assorted kings, prophets, and strange events were -either crowned, born or happened, and each year was a different number of -months, and some of them don't have weeks, and one of them refuses to accept -the day as a measure of time, the only things it is possible to be sure of -is that good sex doesn't last long enough.(3) - -(2) The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts /down/, not up. No-one -knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out. - -(3) Except for the Zapingo tribe of the Great Nef, of course. - - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] +除了对女巫的普遍怀疑之外, 兰克雷少数与外界有来往的人 +渐渐明白: 要么是发生的事比他们以前听说的要多, 要么就是时间 +错乱了. 这不容易证实(1), 但冬天过后沿着山路来的那几个商人, 看起来 +比他们本该是的年纪要老得多. 在拉姆托普山脉, 由于魔法潜力很高, 人们 +或多或少预料到会有无法解释的事发生, 但一夜之间消失好几年还是头一回. + +(1) 因为各个邦国, 王国和城市记录时间的方式各不相同. 毕竟, 在 +一百平方英里的区域内, 同一年可能被称为小蝙蝠年, 预想 +猴年, 猎云年, 肥牛年, 三匹骏马年, 以及至少九个数字, 用来记录(2)各类 +国王, 先知和怪事加冕, 诞生或发生以来的时间, 而且每年的月数 +也不一样, 其中有些甚至没有星期, 还有一个拒绝把"天"当作时间单位, 在 +这种情况下, 唯一能确定的事就是: 美好的性爱持续得不够久.(3) + +(2) 蒙塔布神权国的日历是倒着数的, 不是正着数. 没人知道 +为什么, 但待在那里弄清楚可能不是个好主意. + +(3) 当然, 大内夫的扎平戈部落除外. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 250 (passage starts mid-paragraph) %passage 14 -It was a land of describable beauty. +那地方的美景, 倒还说得清. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 265 (passage starts mid-paragraph) %passage 15 -The past used to be a lot better than it is now. +过去可比现在好多了. - [Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett] + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage %e title # @@ -1583,214 +1348,195 @@ The past used to be a lot better than it is now. %title Pyramids (11) # p. 218 (ROC edition) %passage 1 (passage ends mid-paragraph) -What a chap needed at a time like this was a sign, some sort of book of -instructions. The trouble with life was that you didn't get a chance to -practice before doing it for real. +这种时候, 一个人需要的不过是个征兆, 要么 +就是某种说明书. 可生活的麻烦就在于, 你在真刀真枪 +上场之前, 根本没机会练练手. - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 128 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) %passage 2 -Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a -human being to be really stupid. +区区动物可做不出这种事. 你得是个人, 才能蠢得这么彻底. - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 9-10 ('tlingas' is accurate) %passage 3 -It was a full-length mirror. All assassins had a full-length mirror in -their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them -when you were badly dressed. - -Teppic examined himself critically. The outfit had cost him his last -penny, and was heavy on the black silk. It whispered as he moved. It was -pretty good. - -At least the headache was going. It had nearly crippled him all day; he'd -been in dread of having to start the run with purple spots in front of his -eyes. - -He sighed and opened the black box and took out his rings and slipped them -on. Another box held a set of knives of Klatchian steel, their blades -darkened with lamp black. Various cunning and intricate devices were taken -from velvet bags and dropped into pockets. A couple of long-bladed -throwing /tlingas/ were slipped into their sheaths inside his boots. A -thin silk line and folding grapnel were wound around his waist, over the -chain-mail shirt. A blowpipe was attached to its leather thong and dropped -down his back under his cloak; Teppic pocketed a slim tin container with an -assortment of darts, their tips corked and their stems braille-coded for -ease of selection in the dark. - -He winced, checked the blade of his rapier and slung the baldric over his -right shoulder, to balance the bag of lead slingshot ammunition. As an -afterthought he opened his sock drawer and took a pistol crossbow, a flask -of oil, a roll of lockpicks and, after some consideration, a punch dagger, -a bag of assorted caltraps and a set of brass knuckles. - -Teppic picked up his hat and checked its lining for the coil of cheesewire. -He placed it on his head at a jaunty angle, took a last satisfied look at -himself in the mirror, turned on his heel and, very slowly, fell over. - - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] +那是一面全身镜. 所有刺客的房间里都有一面全身镜, 因为 +要是在衣着不得体的时候杀人, 那对被刺者可是天大的侮辱. + +特皮克挑剔地打量着自己. 这身行头花光了他 +最后一个子儿, 黑色丝绸用得极重. 走动时衣料窸窣作响. 相当不错. + +至少头痛在消退了. 这东西几乎折腾了他一整天; 他一直 +害怕得不得不在眼前有紫斑的情况下开始行动. + +他叹了口气, 打开黑色的盒子, 取出戒指戴上. 另一个 +盒子里放着一套克拉奇钢刃, 刀身用灯烟熏黑. 各种精巧复杂的 +工具从天鹅绒袋里取出, 落入各个口袋. 几柄长刃投掷用的廷加被 +插入靴子里的刀鞘. 一根细丝线和折叠抓钩缠在腰间, 罩在锁子甲 +外面. 一支吹管系在皮绳上, 垂在斗篷下的背后; 特皮克把一个 +细长的锡盒揣进口袋, 里面装着各式飞镖, 镖尖塞着软木塞, 镖杆 +上刻着盲文编码, 方便在黑暗中挑选. + +他忍痛皱了皱眉, 检查了细剑的刃口, 将剑带甩上右肩, 以平衡 +那袋铅弹投石弹药. 想了想之后, 他又打开袜子抽屉, 取出 +一把手弩, 一小瓶油, 一卷开锁器, 略作斟酌后 +又拿了一把拳刺匕首, 一袋各式铁蒺藜和一副铜指套. + +特皮克拿起帽子, 检查衬里是否藏着一圈奶酪丝. 他把帽子 +往头上一戴, 歪出个俏皮的角度, 最后满意地照了一眼镜子, 转身 +便走——然后, 非常缓慢地, 倒了下去. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 30 %passage 4 -He'd always remember the first night in the dormitory. It was long enough -to accommodate all eighteen boys in Viper House, and draughty enough to -accommodate the great outdoors. Its designer may have had comfort in mind, -but only so that he could avoid it whenever possible: he had contrived a -room that could actually be colder than the weather outside. +他永远都记得在宿舍度过的第一晚. 那房间 +长到足以容纳蛇楼的十八个男孩, 又漏风到足以容纳整个 +户外. 设计者也许考虑过舒适, 但那只是为了在可能的时候 +回避它: 他愣是造出了一间比外面天气还要冷的屋子. - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 92 %passage 5 -A few stars had been let out early. Teppic looked up at them. Perhaps, he -thought, there is life somewhere else. On the stars, maybe. If it's true -that there are billions of universes stacked along side one another, the -thickness of a thought apart, then there must be people elsewhere. +几颗星星提前被放了出来. 特皮克 +抬头望着它们. 也许, 他想, 别处也有生命. 可能 +在那些星星上. 如果真有数十亿个宇宙紧挨着堆在一起, 相隔 +不过一个念头的厚度, 那别处肯定也有人. -But wherever they are, no matter how mightily they try, no matter how -magnificent the effort, they surely can't manage to be as godawfully stupid -as us. I mean, we work at it. We were given a spark of it to start with, -but over hundreds of thousands of years we've really improved on it. +但无论他们在哪里, 无论他们多么努力, 无论他们 +的尝试多么了不起, 他们肯定做不到像我们这样 +蠢得天怒人怨. 我是说, 我们在这事上下了功夫. 我们一开始只是 +得了点火星子, 但经过几十万年的锤炼, 我们真的把它发扬光大了. - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 96 (Ptaclusp the pyramid builder, sons Ptaclusp IIa and Ptaclusp IIb) %passage 6 -Descendants! The gods had seen fit to give him one son who charged you for -the amount of breath expended in saying "Good morning", and another one who -worshipped geometry and stayed up all night designing aqueducts. You -scrimped and saved to send them to the best schools, and then they went and -paid you back by getting educated. +后嗣! 众神硬是给了他一个儿子, 连说声"早上好"都要 +按呼吸次数收费, 另一个则痴迷几何, 整宿不睡设计 +引水渠. 你省吃俭用送他们上最好的学校, 结果 +他们倒好, 用"受了教育"来报答你. - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 136 %passage 7 -It's a fact as immutable as the Third Law of Sod that there is no such -thing as a good Grand Vizier. A predilection to cackle and plot is -apparently part of the job spec. +有一条像"倒霉基本法则第三条"一样铁定的 +事实: 世上从来没有过什么好大维齐尔. 热衷 +于咯咯怪笑和阴谋策划, 显然就是这个岗位的标配. -High priests tend to get put in the same category. They have to face the -implied assumption that no sooner do they get the funny hat than they're -issuing strange orders, e.g., princesses tied to rocks for itinerant sea -monsters and throwing little babies in the sea. +大祭司们往往也被归入同一类. 他们不得不面对 +这样一种潜台词--仿佛只要他们一戴上那顶滑稽帽子, 就会 +立刻发布各种古怪命令, 比如把公主绑在岩石上献给过路的 +海怪, 或者把婴儿扔进海里. -This is a gross slander. Throughout the history of the Disc most high -priests have been serious, pious and conscientious men who have done their -best to interpret the wishes of the gods, sometimes disembowelling or -flaying alive hundreds of people in a day in order to make sure they're -getting it absolutely right. +这纯属无耻诽谤. 在碟形世界的整个历史上, 绝大多数 +大祭司都是严肃, 虔诚, 尽职尽责的人, 他们竭尽全力去诠释众神的 +旨意, 有时为了确保自己理解得绝对准确, 一天之内就要开膛破肚 +或活剥上百人. - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # pp. 206-208 (text has 'that's now it happened'; 'now' changed to 'how' here) %passage 8 -Copolymer, the greatest storyteller in the history of the world, sat back -and beamed at the greatest minds in the world, assembled at the dining -table. - -Teppic had added another iota to his store of new knowledge. 'Symposium' -meant a knife-and-fork tea. - -"Well," said Copolymer, and launched into the story of the Tsortean Wars. - -"You see, what happened was, /he'd/ taken /her/ back home, and her -father--this wasn't the old king, this was the one before, the one with the -wossname, he married some girl from over Elharib way, she had a squint, -what was her name now, began with a P. Or an L. One of them letters, -anyway. Her father owned an island out on the bay there, Papylos I think -it was. No, I tell a lie, it was Crinix. /Anyway/ the king, the other -king, he raised an army and they.... Elenor, that was her name. She had -a squint, you know. But quite attractive, they say. When I say married, -I trust I do not have to spell it out for you. I mean, it was a bit -unofficial. Er. Anyway, there was this wooden horse and after they'd got -in... Did I tell you about this horse? It was a horse. I'm pretty sure -it was a horse. Or maybe it was a chicken. Forget my own name next! It -was wossname's idea, the one with the limp. Yes. The limp in his leg, I -mean. Did I mention him? There'd been this fight. No, that was the other -one, I think. Yes. Anyway, this wooden pig, damn clever idea, they made -it out of thing. Tip of my tongue. Wood. But that was later, you know. -The fight! Nearly forgot the fight. Yes. Damn good fight. Everyone -banging on their shields and yelling. Wossname's armour shone like shining -armour. Fight and a half, that fight. Between thingy, not the one with -the limp, the other one, wossname, had red hair. /You/ know. Tall fellow, -talked with a lisp. Hold on, just remembered, he was from some other -island. Not him. The other one, with the limp. Didn't want to go, he -said he was mad. Of course, he /was/ bloody mad, definitely. I mean, a -wooden cow! Like wossname said, the king, no not that king, the other one, -he saw the goat, he said 'I fear the Ephibeans, especially when they're mad -enough to leave bloody great wooden livestock on the doorstep, talk about -nerve, they must think we was born yesterday, set fire to it,' and, of -course, wossname had nipped in round the back and put everyone to the -sword, talk about laugh. Did I say she had a squint? They said she was -pretty, but it takes all sorts. Yes. Anyway, that's how it happened. -/Now/, of course, wossname--I think he was called Melycanus, had a limp--he -wanted to go home, well, you would, they'd been there for /years/, he -wasn't getting any younger. That's why he dreamt up the thing about the -wooden wossname. Yes. I tell a lie, Lavaelous was the one with the knee. -Pretty good fight, that fight, take it from me." - -He lapsed into self-satisfied silence. - -"Pretty good fight," he mumbled and, smiling faintly, dropped off to sleep. - -Teppic was aware that his own mouth was hanging open. He shut it. Along -the table several of the diners were wiping their eyes. - -"Magic," said Xeno. "Sheer magic. Every word a tassle on the canopy of -Time." - -"It's the way he remembers every tiny detail. Pin sharp," murmured Ibid. - - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] +科普利默, 这位世界历史上最伟大的讲故事者, 向后一靠, 对 +围坐在餐桌旁的世界最伟大的头脑们满意地微笑. + +特皮克给自己的新知识库存又增添了一丁点儿内容."研讨会"的意思 +就是一顿刀叉茶话会. + +"嗯,"科普利默说, 然后便开始了关于索尔提亚战争的故事. + +"你们看, 事情是这样的, /他/把/她/带回了家. 然后 +她父亲--不是那个老国王, 是前一个, 就是那个什么来着, 他娶了 +艾尔哈比那边的一个姑娘, 那姑娘有点斜眼, 她叫什么来着, 现在 +想不起来了, 开头是个P. 要么是个L. 反正, 是这些字母里的一个. 她父亲 +在那边海湾里有个岛, 我想是叫帕皮洛斯. 不对, 我说 +错了, 是克里尼克斯. /反正/那个国王, 另一个国王, 他召集了 +一支军队, 然后他们...埃莉诺, 那是她的名字. 她有点 +斜眼, 你知道的. 不过他们说她还挺漂亮的. 我说结婚的时候, 我想 +我用不着给你细说了吧. 我是说, 这事儿有点不太正式. 呃. 总之, 有 +这么一个木马, 他们进去之后...我跟你们提过这匹马吗? 它是 +一匹马. 我很肯定它是一匹马. 又或者它是一只鸡. 瞧我这 +记性, 差点连自己名字都忘了! 那是那个谁的主意, 就是那个 +跛脚的. 对. 我是说他腿有毛病. 我跟你们提过他吗? 之前有过 +一场架. 不对, 我想那是另一场了. 对. 总之, 这个木头猪, 绝妙的 +主意, 他们用那啥做的. 就在嘴边儿上. 木头. 不过那是后来的事了, 你们 +知道的. 那场架! 差点忘了说那场架. 对. 真他娘的是场好架. 大家 +都敲着盾牌大喊大叫. 那个谁的盔甲就像闪亮的盔甲一样闪闪发光. 那架 +打得, 可真够劲. 是在那个谁和那个谁之间, 不是跛脚的那个, 是 +另一个, 那个谁, 红头发的 .你知道的. 高个子, 说话有点 +咬舌头. 等等, 我刚想起来, 他是从别的什么岛来的. 不是他. 是 +另一个, 跛脚的那个. 他不想去, 他说他疯了. 当然, 他妈的 +是疯了, 毫无疑问. 我是说, 一头木牛! 就像那个谁说的, 那个 +国王, 不对, 不是那个国王, 是另一个, 他看见那只山羊, 他说'我害怕 +艾菲比人, 特别是当他们疯到把这么大的木头牲口留在咱家门口 +的时候, 真够有种的, 他们准以为咱是昨天 +才出生的, 给我烧了它, '然后, 当然了, 那个谁从后边溜了进去, 把 +所有人都杀了, 真是笑死人了. 我说过她有点斜眼来着? 他们说 +她挺漂亮, 不过审美这事儿嘛, 各有不同. 对. 总之, 事情就是 +这么发生的. 现在呢, 当然了, 那个谁--我想他是叫 +梅利卡纳斯, 是个瘸子--他想回家, 嗯, 换成谁都会想, 他们 +在那儿都呆了好些年了, 他也不年轻了. 所以他才想出了那个木头 +那啥的主意. 对. 我说错了, 拉瓦利尔斯才是那个膝盖有毛病的.那场架 +打得很不错, 我跟你们说, 真不错." + +他陷入了一种自鸣得意的沉默中. + +"打得真不错,"他嘟囔着, 微微笑了笑, 便睡着了. + +特皮克意识到自己的嘴巴还张着. 他闭上了嘴. 桌子旁 +好几位用餐者都在擦眼泪. + +"真是魔法,"齐诺说,"纯粹的魔法. 每一个字都是时光华盖上的流苏." + +"他就是能记住每一个微小的细节. 一清二楚,"伊比德低声说道. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 211 %passage 9 -"I'd love to stay and listen to you listening to me all day," he said. -"But there's a man over there I'd like to see." +"我倒很想留下来, 听你一整天都在听我说话,"他说,"但 +那边有个人我想去见见." -"That's amazing," said Endos, making a short note and turning his attention -to a conversation further along the table. A philosopher had averred that -although truth was beauty, beauty was not necessarily truth, and a fight was -breaking out. Endos listened carefully.(1) +"真是太神奇了,"恩多斯说着, 匆匆记了一笔, 随即将注意力 +转向桌子那头的一场争论. 一位哲学家断言, 尽管真理即美, 但美却未必 +是真理, 一场争执正在爆发. 恩多斯认真地听着.(1) -(1) The role of listeners has never been fully appreciated. However, it is -well known that most people don't listen. They use the time when someone -else is speaking to think of what they're going to say next. True Listeners -have always been revered among oral cultures, and prized for their rarity -value; bards and poets are ten a cow, but a good Listener is hard to find, -or at least hard to find twice. +(1) 倾听者的角色从未得到过充分的赏识. 然而, 众所周知, 大多数人 +并不会倾听. 他们只是利用别人说话的时间, 去琢磨自己接下来 +要说什么. 真正的倾听者在口述文化中一直备受尊崇, 并因其稀有 +而备受珍视; 吟游诗人和诗人多如牛毛, 但一个好的倾听者却很难 +找到--或者说, 至少很难找到第二次. - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 278 (perhaps ought to end this one with the first paragraph...) %passage 10 -In the middle of the firestorm the Great Pyramid appeared to lift up a few -inches, on a beam of incandescence, and turn through ninety degrees. This -was almost certainly the special type of optical illusion which can take -place /even though no-one is actually looking at it/. +在火风暴的中心, 大金字塔似乎在一束白炽的光芒中 +抬升了几英寸, 然后旋转了九十度. 这几乎可以肯定是一种 +特殊的光学错觉--即便根本没人亲眼目睹, 它照样能够发生. -And then, with deceptive slowness and considerable dignity, it exploded. +接着, 它以一种极具欺骗性的缓慢和相当的尊严, 爆炸了. -It was almost too crass a word. What it did was this: it came apart -ponderously into building-sized chunks which drifted gently away from one -another, flying serenely out and over the necropolis. Several of them -struck other pyramids, badly damaging them in a lazy, unselfconscious way, -and then bounded on in silence until they ploughed to a halt behind a small -mountain of rubble. +这个词几乎过于粗俗了. 实际发生的情况是这样的; 它笨重地 +解体为建筑大小的巨块, 彼此缓缓飘离, 安详地飞过墓地的上空. 其中 +几块撞上了其他的金字塔, 以一种懒散而无意识的方式造成了 +严重破坏, 随即默默弹开, 继续前进, 直到在一片碎石小山后面 +犁出一道深沟, 停了下来. -Only then did the boom come. It went on for quite a long time. +直到这时, 轰隆声才传来. 它持续了相当长的一段时间. - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 280 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) %passage 11 -Man was never intended to understand things he meddled with. +人类从未被期许能理解自己所干涉之物. - [Pyramids, by Terry Pratchett] + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage %e title # @@ -1799,138 +1545,128 @@ Man was never intended to understand things he meddled with. %title Guards! Guards! (14) # p. 283 (ROC edition) %passage 1 -"I see you're very comfortable here," said Vimes weakly. +"我看您在这儿倒是挺自在的,"温斯有气无力地说. -"Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in -yourself," said the Patrician, laying out the food on the cloth. "The -world would be a happier place if more people remembered that." +"永远别建一座你自己都不乐意在里面过夜的地牢,"执政官 +一边说, 一边在布上摆放食物,"要是多些人能记住这个道理, 这个 +世界会变得更美好." - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 133 %passage 2 -These weren't encouraged in the city, since the heft and throw of a -longbow's arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred -yards away rather than the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed. +这些在城中并不受鼓励, 因为长弓的箭矢分量重, 射程远, 往往 +能穿透一百码外的无辜路人, 而不是它本该瞄准的那位. - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 26 (first and second paragraphs are actually end of one section, # start of next one; first 'Thunder rolled...' had three dot # ellipsis, second has four, ellipsis plus final period-- # first changed to four here so that they match) %passage 3 -Thunder rolled.... +雷声滚动... -It is said that the gods play games with the lives of men. But what games, -and why, and the identities of the actual pawns, and what the game is, and -what the rules are--who knows? +据说, 神灵们以凡人的命运为游戏. 但那是怎样的游戏, 为何而玩, 真正的棋子是谁, 游戏的内容是什么, 规则又如何--谁知道呢? -Best not to speculate. +最好不要妄加揣测. -Thunder rolled.... +雷声滚滚... -It rolled a six. +它滚出了一个六. - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 48 (passage is a footnote) %passage 4 -One of the remarkable innovations introduced by the Patrician was to make -the Thieves' Guilde /responsible/ for theft, with annual budgets, forward -planning and, above all, rigid job protection. Thus, in return for an -agreed average level of crime per annum, the thieves themselves saw to it -that unauthorized crime was met with the full force of Injustice, which was -generally a stick with nails in it. +执政官推行的一项卓越创新, 便是让盗贼公会对盗窃行为 +负责——设定年度预算, 前瞻性规划, 而最重要的是, 提供严格的 +岗位保障. 于是, 作为对每年商定犯罪水平的回报, 盗贼们自己便会 +确保, 任何未经授权的犯罪都将遭到不公的全力 +打击--而所谓不公,通常就是一根钉着钉子的棍子. - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 87 (passage ends mid-paragraph) %passage 5 -"Well, sir," he said, "I know that dragons have been extinct for thousands -of years, sir--" +"呃, 长官," 他说, "我知道龙已经灭绝数千年了, 长官--" -"Yes?" The Patrician's eyes narrowed. +"是吗?"执政官眯起了眼睛. -Vimes plunged on. "But sir, the thing is, do /they/ know?" [...] +维姆斯硬着头皮继续道:"但长官, 问题是——它们自己知道吗?" [...] - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 114 (passage is a footnote) %passage 6 -The Guild of Fire Fighters had been outlawed by the Patrician the previous -year after many complaints. The point was that, if you bought a contract -from the Guild, your house would be protected against fire. Unfortunately, -the general Ankh-Morpork ethos quickly came to the fore and fire fighters -would tend to go to prospective clients' houses in groups, making loud -comments like "Very inflammable looking place, this" and "Probably go up -like a firework with just one carelessly dropped match, know what I mean?" +消防员工会在前一年因收到大量投诉而被执政官 +取缔. 问题在于, 如果你向该公会购买了合同, 你的房子 +就会得到防火保护. 不幸的是, 安卡-莫波克人普遍的行事风格 +很快占了上风--消防员们倾向于成群结队地前往潜在 +客户家中, 大声发表诸如"这地方看起来可真够易燃的"以及"只要 +一根不小心掉落的火柴, 它大概就会像烟花一样烧起来, 你明白 +我的意思吧?"之类的评论. - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 131 (Sherlock Holmes) %passage 7 -Once you've ruled out the impossible then whatever is left, however -improbable, must be the truth. The problem lay in working out what was -impossible, of course. That was the trick, all right. +一旦你排除了所有不可能, 那么剩下的, 无论多么不可思议, 必定是真相. 问题当然在于弄清楚什么是不可能的--这才是关键所在. -There was also the curious incident of the orangutan in the night-time.... +此外, 还有夜间那只猩猩的奇异事件... - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 150 (Dirty Harry with a small swamp dragon rather than a .45 Magnum...) %passage 8 -A streak of green fire blasted out of the back of the shed, passed a foot -over the heads of the mob, and burned a charred rosette in the woodwork -over the door. +一道绿色的火焰从小棚屋的后方喷射而出, 从暴徒头顶一英尺处 +掠过, 在门框上方的木料上烧出了一枚焦黑的玫瑰花结. -Then came a voice that was a honeyed purr of shear deadly menace. +随即传来一个声音, 那是一种蜜糖般轻柔的咕噜声, 却带着 +纯粹的致命威胁. -"/This is Lord Mountjoy Quickfang Winterforth IV, the hottest dragon in the -city. It could burn your head clean off./" +"这位是芒特乔伊·快手·温特福斯四世勋爵, 本城最 +炙手可热的龙. 它能把你的脑袋整个烧掉." -Captain Vimes limped forward from the shadows. +维姆斯队长从阴影中一瘸一拐地走上前来. -A small and extremely frightened golden dragon was clamped firmly under one -arm. His other hand held it by the tail. +一只体型小巧吓得魂不附体的金龙被他 +紧紧夹在一只胳膊下. 他的另一只手攥着它的尾巴. -The rioters watched it, hypnotised. +暴徒们被那龙吸引, 目不转睛地盯着它看. -"Now I know what you're thinking," Vimes went on, softly. "You're -wondering, after all this excitement, has it got enough flame left? And, -y'know, I ain't so sure myself..." +"我知道你们现在在想什么,"维姆斯压低声音 +继续道, "你们在琢磨, 经过这么一场大闹, 它还剩多少 +火焰吧? 老实说, 我自己也不太确定..." -He leaned forward, sighting between the dragon's ears, and his voice -buzzed like a knife blade: +他向前倾身, 目光越过龙的两只耳朵瞄准前方, 声音像刀刃一样嗡嗡作响: -"What you've got to ask yourself is: Am I feeling lucky?" +"你们得问问自己: 我今天运气好吗?" -They swayed backwards as he advanced. +他向前逼近, 人群向后晃动着退去. -"Well?" he said. "/Are/ you feeling lucky?" +"怎么样?"他说,"你们觉得自己运气好吗?" - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 154 (passage is a footnote; ten pages later, Sergeant Colon uses the # old version of the proverb) %passage 9 -The phrase "Set a thief to catch a thief" had by this time (after strong -representations from the Thieves' Guilde) replaced a much older and -quintessentially Ankh-Morpork proverb, which was "Set a deep hole with -spring-loaded sides, tripwires, whirling knife blades driven by water power, -broken glass and scorpions, to catch a thief." +"以贼捉贼"这句话, 到了此时(在盗贼公会的大力交涉之后), 已经 +取代了一句更为古老更具安卡-莫波克本土特色的谚语, 那句 +谚语是:"挖一个深坑, 坑壁装有弹簧机关, 布设绊索, 配以水力驱动的 +旋转刀刃, 碎玻璃和蝎子, 用来捉贼." - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 174 (passage starts mid-paragraph) %passage 10 -[...] There was no difference at all between the richest man and the -poorest beggar, apart from the fact that the former had lots of money, -food, power, fine clothes, and good health. But at least he wasn't -any /better/. Just richer, fatter, more powerful, better dressed and -healthier. It had been like that for hundreds of years. +[...] 最富有的人和最穷的乞丐之间没有任何区--除了 +前者拥有大量的金钱, 食物, 权力, 华服和健康之外. 但至少 +他并不比后者"更好".只是更富, 更胖, 更有权势, 穿得更好, 更健康 +罢了. 几百年来一直如此. - [Guards! Guards!, by Terry Pratchett] + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] %e passage # p. 205 %passage 11 @@ -9829,114 +9565,114 @@ survived long enough. %section Death %title Death Quotes (31) %passage 1 -WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I. WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE. +第一个原始细胞出现时, 我已在. 人类所在之处, 我亦同在. 当最后一个生命在寒星下蹒跚爬行时, 我仍将临. %e passage # Feet of Clay, p. 17 (Harper Torch edition) %passage 2 -I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. /I/ TURN UP ONLY ONCE. +我是死神, 不是税吏. 而且只现身一次. %e passage # Men at Arms, p. 27 (Harper Torch edition) %passage 3 -THINK OF IT MORE AS BEING ... DIMENSIONALLY DISADVANTAGED. +不妨看作... 在维度上吃了亏. %e passage # Soul Music, p. 146 (Harper Torch edition; we omit "said Death," after comma) %passage 4 -I MAY HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF SOME FLICKER OF EMOTION IN THE RECENT PAST, BUT I CAN GIVE IT UP ANY TIME I LIKE. +或许我允许自己近期有些许微小的情感波动, 但随时可以戒掉. %e passage %passage 5 # Not a direct quote, but a reference to Thief of Time and the fact that # the player is War -HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO RONNIE LATELY? +你最近和罗尼谈过了吗? %e passage # Raising Steam, p. 180 (Anchor Books edition) %passage 6 -PLEASE DO NOT PANIC. YOU ARE MERELY DEAD. +请别惊慌. 你只是死了. %e passage # Small Gods, p. 90 (Harper Torch edition) %passage 7 -THERE IS A LITTLE CONFUSION AT FIRST. IT IS ONLY TO BE EXPECTED. +起初总会有些困惑. 这也只是意料之中. %e passage # Hogfather, p. 343 (Harper Torch edition; Death "lives" outside of normal # time and space) %passage 8 -THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR ANOTHER LAST MINUTE. +临到头了, 总还来得及再磨蹭一下. # Wintersmith, p. 187 (HarperTeen edition; dying Miss Treason takes a ham # [too silly?] sandwich with her to the grave, and it accompanies # her to the afterlife, but its condiments don't) %passage 9 -MUSTARD IS ALWAYS TRICKY. +芥末总是令人够呛. %passage 10 -PICKLES OF ALL SORTS DON'T SEEM TO MAKE IT. I'M SORRY. +各种酱菜腌菜倒是都带不走, 怪对不住的. # The Colour of Magic, p. 68 (Signet edition) %passage 11 -IT WON'T HURT A BIT. +这一点也不疼. # p. 177 %passage 12 -SHALL WE GO? +我们该走了吧? # p. 251 (speaker is actually a demon named 'Scrofula' filling in for Death) %passage 13 -I HAVE COME FOR THEE. +我来接你了. # The Light Fantastic, p. 52 (Signet edition; quote has quotation marks but # including them here wouldn't fit with the rest; # Death is addressing an elderly wizard who went # to extreme measures to hide himself [from Death]) %passage 14 -DARK IN HERE, ISN'T IT? +可真够黑的, 你说是吗? # Equal Rites, p. 14 (Signet edition; second sentence continues # 'said the deep, heavy voice...') %passage 15 -THERE IS NO GOING BACK. THERE IS NO GOING BACK. +回不了头喽, 可真回不了头喽. # p. 15 (contradicts later descriptions of Death as existing outside of time; # presumably it's just intended as a colloquial expression) %passage 16 -I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY, YOU KNOW. +我可没有一整天的时间, 你知道的. # p. 15 (same page) %passage 17 -LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING. +生活只属于活着的人. # Mort, p. 148 (Signet edition) %passage 18 -NO-ONE EVER WANTED TO TALK TO ME BEFORE. +在这之前从未有人想与我说话. # p. 149 %passage 19 -I HAVEN'T GOT A SINGLE FRIEND. EVEN CATS FIND ME AMUSING. +我可没有哪怕一个朋友, 连小猫都觉得我好笑. # Sourcery, p. 12 (Signet edition) %passage 20 -YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE. +你只是在拖延那必然的结局. # Wyrd Sisters, p. 11 (ROC edition) %passage 21 -I SAID WAS. IT'S CALLED THE PAST TENSE. YOU'LL SOON GET USED TO IT. +我说的是曾经, 这叫过去时态, 你会习惯的. # p. 13 %passage 22 -DON'T LET IT UPSET YOU. +别让它干扰你. # Pyramids, p. 57 (ROC edition) %passage 23 -I CAN SEE THAT YOU HAVE GOT A LOT TO THINK ABOUT. +我可以看出你有不少事情需要思考. # Eric, p. 134 (Harper Torch edition) %passage 24 -PERHAPS IT'S TIME TO CALL IT A DAY. +也许该收工了. # Moving Pictures, p. 260 (ROC edition) %passage 25 -I KNOW WHEN EVERYONE'S HAD ENOUGH. +我知道大家什么时候才会受够. # Reaper Man, p. 10 (ROC edition) %passage 26 -I HAVE ALWAYS DONE MY DUTY AS I SAW FIT. +我总是按照我认为合适的方式去履行我的天职. # p. 18 %passage 27 -I AM NOT KNOWN FOR MY SENSE OF FUN. +我并不因为我的幽默而著称. # p. 160 %passage 28 -I MEAN THAT THERE IS A TIME FOR EVERYONE TO DIE. +我的意思是, 凡人皆有一死. # p. 227 %passage 29 -JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS A METAPHOR DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN'T BE REAL. +只因为某物是暗喻, 不能说它就是真的. # p. 334 %passage 30 -I AM ALWAYS ALONE. BUT JUST NOW I WANT TO BE ALONE BY MYSELF. +我总是一个人, 但至少此刻, 我想孤独地独处. # Witches Abroad, p. 298 (Death's explanation why he didn't come for zombie 12 # years earlier: YOU STOPPED LIVING. YOU NEVER DIED.) %passage 31 -I HAD AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOU TONIGHT. +今晚我和你有一个约会. %e title %e section # -#eof +#eof \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/tribute b/tribute new file mode 100644 index 000000000..78cfcb85d --- /dev/null +++ b/tribute @@ -0,0 +1,9661 @@ +# NetHack 5.0 tribute $NHDT-Date: 1726809275 2024/09/20 05:14:35 $ $NHDT-Branch: NetHack-3.7 $:$NHDT-Revision: 1.118 $ +# Copyright (c) 2017 by Robert Patrick Rankin +# NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details. +# A tribute introduced in NetHack 3.6.0 to: +# +# Sir Terence David John "Terry" Pratchett +# April 28, 1948 - March 12, 2015 +# ("or until the ripples he caused in the world die away...") +# +# +%section books +# +# +# +%title The Colour of Magic (14) +# p. 67 (Signet edition; 'Morpork': initially Ankh and Morpork were twin +# cities with distinct characteristics on opposite sides of the Ankh +# river--they were eventually consolidated into Ankh-Morpork without +# regard to which area was where) +%passage 1 +之前有人说过, 那些能感知遥远奥克塔林辐射的人--这第八种颜色, 即为想象力的元素--可以 +看见他人无法察觉之物. + +因此, 当灵思风与身后咯噔咯噔跟着的行李箱匆匆穿过莫波克拥挤的而且被火把照亮的 +莫波克的夜市时, 撞上了 +一个高大黑色的身影, 转身正打算送上几句应时的咒骂, 却看见了 +死神. + +那一定是死神. 没有其他人会顶着空洞的眼窝四处走动, +当然, 肩上扛着的那把镰刀也是一条线索. [...] + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage 1 +# p. 116 +%passage 2 +当他被拽向那只巨眼, 惊恐万分的灵思风举起箱子 +护在身前, 同时听见图画小妖说道, "他们 +现在差不多都熟透了, 不需要在意他们. 欢乐时刻." + +然后是一道-- +--如此炽白耀眼的白光-- +--那根本就不像光. + +贝尔-沙姆哈罗斯尖叫, 那尖叫声从遥远的超声波开始 +然后结束于灵思风的胃里. 触手马上 +坚硬如铁, 将各种杂物扔向房间的各个地方, 随后 +簇拥向那只饱受摧残的巨眼并紧紧缩成一团. 整个巨大的身躯 +坠入深坑, 片刻之后那块大石板 +被几十条触手猛地拽回原位, 只留下一堆 +扭动挣扎的肢端被夹在边缘外面. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage 2 +# p. 8 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 3 +[...] 与此同时, 他们只能对展现在眼前的宇宙 +进行种种猜测. + +比如说, 有一种理论认为阿图因不知从何而来 +而且始终匀速爬行, 或者说是稳健的步伐, 走向虚无, 直至 +永远. 这一理论在学者之中颇为流行. + +另一种理论, 则受到信教人士的青睐, 说的是 +阿图因正从诞生之地爬向交配之时, 天空中的星辰 +同样如此, 显然, 它们也由一只巨龟 +承载. 当他们抵达的时候会短暂且热烈的交合, 这是 +第一次也是唯一的一次, 而从这炽烈的结合之中, 诞生了新的巨龟 +驮起新世界的框架. 这被称之为 +大爆炸假说. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 13 (end of a long footnote; the initial obsession with 'eight' ended +# fairly quickly within the Discworld series) +%passage 4 +[...] + +当然, 碟上一周有八天, 其光谱也 +有八种颜色. 八在碟形世界中 +是一个具有相当神秘学色彩意义的数字, 巫师绝对不可说出它, 绝对! + +至于这一切究竟是为什么, 并不清楚, 但这多少 +解释了在碟形世界中, 为什么, 诸神与其说是被崇拜, 不如说是被怪罪. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 38 (first speaker is Rincewind, second is a pre-Vetinari Patrician) +%passage 5 +"大人, 我向您保证, 我的脑子里绝对没闪过这个念头." + +"是吗? 如果我是你, 我就会告我自己诽谤." + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 41 (title of 5th book is "Sourcery" but it's spelled "sorcery" here; +# 'organising': British spelling) +%passage 6 +所有圆海的英雄都会经过莫波克的城门, +迟早的事. 他们大多来自靠近冰封极地的 +野蛮部落, 那里似乎有种英雄出口的贸易. 几乎每个人 +都带着粗缆制造的魔法剑, 而在星界, 这些剑不受抑制的谐波 +能把方圆数英里内任何精细的巫术实验搅得 +一塌糊涂, 但灵思风对此倒不介意. 他知道 +自己是一个魔法学校的辍学生, 所以不会有事情会烦扰他,无论是 +英雄出现在城门口就足以让整个魔法区的曲颈甑爆炸,还是 +恶魔到处现形. 不, +他讨厌英雄的是: 他们在清醒时通常阴郁得想自杀, +喝醉时疯癫得想杀人. 而且英雄实在太多了. +某些最著名的冒险地,一到旺季简直成了 +闹哄哄的一锅粥. 甚至有人在讨论轮值表了. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 82-83 (passage starts mid-paragraph; +# pronouns for deities are not capitalized; +# Bravd and the Weasel, obviously a parody of Fritz Leiber's +# Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, appear at the beginning of the 1st +# of 4 stories and then are left behind, never to be seen again; +# "wenegrade wiffard" is Rincewind and "fome fort of clerk" is +# Twoflower the tourist; the seemingly abrupt end of the passage +# is the end of the 2nd of the 4 stories that make up the book; +# 'centre': British spelling; 'billion': British usage gives it a +# value of 'million millions', equivalent to American 'trillion'; +# the second paragraph of this passage is the data.base quote +# for "blind io" and the second half of the passage is the +# data.base quote for "*lady" and "offler") +%passage 7 +[...] 碟形世界的诸神们, 尽管脚下的大千世界无比辉煌, +却鲜少感到满足. 知道自己掌管着一个只因 +一切概率曲线必有远端, 这本身就够令人尴尬了; +尤其是当你还能窥见其他维度中那些 +造物主更擅长机械而非想象的世界时. 难怪 +碟上的众神花在争吵上的时间比花在全知上的还要多. + +这一天, 盲眼艾欧, 靠着时刻警惕而稳坐众神之首 +的神灵, 正手托下巴, 盯着面前红大理石桌上 +的棋盘. 他之所以叫盲眼 +是因为本应长着眼眶的地方, 只有两片 +光滑的皮肤. 他的眼睛数量多得惊人 +过着一种半独立的生活. 此刻就有好几只 +正漂浮在棋盘的上方. + +棋盘是精心雕刻的碟形世界地图, 上面 +压印着方格. 几个做工精美的棋子 +正占据着某些格子. 比方说, 凡人的旁观者若在旁, +定能认出其中两枚棋子酷似布拉夫德和黄鼠狼. 其余棋子 +则代表更多的英雄和斗士, 碟形世界 +不缺这类人物. + +仍在局中的有艾欧, 鳄鱼神奥弗勒, 微风之神 +泽菲罗斯, 命运, 以及幸运女神. 自那些较小的角色 +被淘汰出局后, 棋盘周围弥漫着 +一股专注的气氛. 偶然很早就出了局, 她让自己的英雄 +撞上了一堆全副武装的豺狼人 (那是奥弗勒掷出幸运点数所致) 不久之后 +黑夜也兑现了筹码, 借口与宿命有个约会 +几个小神漂了过来, 站在玩家们身后插嘴指点. + +私下里有人打赌幸运女神会是下一个离桌的. +她最后一位像样的冠军, 此刻已在仍在冒烟的莫波克废墟中化为一撮碱灰 +莫波克废墟中化为一撮碱灰, 而她手里几乎没有 +任何能提升到前列的棋子了. + +盲眼艾欧拿起骰盅, 那是一只骷髅, 各个孔洞都用 +红宝石塞住, 他几只眼睛都盯着幸运女神 +掷出了三个五. + +她笑了. 幸运女神的眼睛生来如此: 碧绿明亮, 没有虹膜 +也没有瞳孔, 光从内部透出. + +房间里一片寂静, 她在自己的棋盒里翻找, 从最底层 +掏出一对棋子, 清脆地按在棋盘上. +其余众神齐刷刷地 +探身去看. + +"一位...鲁瑟的法湿, 还友一个神马输鸡" 鳄鱼神奥弗勒说 +嘴巴照例被长牙绊得含含糊糊. "霍, 真霍!" 他用一只爪子 +把一堆骨白色的筹码推到桌子中央. + +幸运女神微微颔首. 她拿起骰盅 +握得稳如磐石, 然而诸神都能听见里面三枚骰子 +在咔嗒作响. 然后她将它们撒向桌面, 弹跳开来. + +六, 三, 五. + +然而那个五出了点状况, 在数十亿分子 +偶然碰撞的冲击下, 那枚骰子翻到了角尖上, 轻轻 +旋转, 最后落下来竟是七点. + +眼艾欧捡起骰子, 数了数面数. + +"得了吧,"他厌倦地说, "公平点行不行?" + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 84 (Ankh-Morpork was burned soon after Twoflower introduced the concept +# of fire insurance; a longer version of this passage is the data.base +# quote for "tourist") +%passage 8 +如画. 这是巫师灵思风 (魔法学士, +无形大学 [肄业]) 学到的一个新词. 这是他离开 +莫波克焦黑的废墟后掌握的若干新词之一. 古雅是另一个. +所谓如画--他仔细观察了促使双花使用这个词的 +风景之后得出结论--意思其实是这地形 +险峻得可怕. 而古雅, 当用来形容他们偶尔途经的某个村庄时 +则意味着疟疾横行、摇摇欲坠. + +双花是个游客, 碟形世界有史以来的第一个. 而游客, +灵思风断定，意思就是 "白痴." + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 85 ('memorising': British spelling) +%passage 9 +此时, 双花正对魔法的理论与实践表现出极大的兴趣. + +"在我看来, 这玩意儿嘛, 实在没什么用," 他说. "我一直以为 +巫师只要念几句咒语就够了. 哪用得着 +这么死记硬背." + +灵思风闷闷不乐地表示同意. 他试图解释, 魔法确实曾经狂野无羁 +但早在远古时代就被古人驯服了, 他们让它服从, +包括现实守恒定律在内的诸多法则 +这条定律要求, +无论采用何种手段, 达到目标所需的努力应当相同. 用实际的话来说, +比如, 制造一杯酒的幻象相对容易, 因为这只需微妙地改变光线图案. 但若是仅凭 +精神力将一只真正的酒杯举到几英尺高 +的空中, 巫师若想避免杠杆原理把他的脑子 +从耳朵里甩出去,就得事先做足 +好几个小时的系统准备. +他接着补充说, 有些 +古老的魔法仍能以原始形态存在, 内行者能认出 +它在时空晶体结构中留下的八重形态. 比如八金属, 还有八气 +它们都会辐射出危险量的原生魔力. + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 166 ('Lio!rt' with embedded exclamation point is correct; book's text +# is missing the opening quote before ["]You arrogant barbarian--") +%passage 10 +"我要挑战你们,"赫伦瞪着那两兄弟说,"两个一起上." + +利奥特和利阿提斯对视了一眼. + +"你要同时跟我们两个打?"利阿提斯问. 他是个 +高瘦结实的男子, 留着黑色长发. + +"对." + +"这实力悬殊得有点大吧?" + +"没错. 我以一对二, 人数上正好是你们占优." + +利奥特沉下脸."你这个狂妄的野蛮人--" + +"够了我受的!"赫伦咆哮道,"我--" + +博学大师伸出一只青筋毕露的手拦住了他. + +"杀戮之地禁止打斗,"他说, 顿了顿, 自己琢磨了一下 +这话的逻辑,"反正你们明白我的意思,"他放弃似的 +蒙混过去, 又补了一句,"作为被挑战方, 利奥特和利阿提斯 +两位大人有权选择武器." + +"巨龙,"两人异口同声地说. 利艾萨嗤笑了一声. + +"巨龙可以用于进攻, 因此它们算武器,"利奥特坚定地说, +"你要是不服, 我们可以为此打一架." + +"嗯,"他的兄弟朝赫伦点了点头. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 196 +%passage 11 +有些海盗靠作恶多端或 +英勇壮举流芳百世, 有些则靠聚敛金山银山 +名垂千古. 但这位船长老早就想通了 +--总的来说, 他更愿意靠不死来永垂不朽. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 201 (entire paragraph is enclosed within parentheses) +%passage 12 +碟形世界上的植物, 除了常见的 +那些分类, 即今年播种今年生长的"一年生", +今年播种明年生长的"二年生", 以及今年播种后"长到另行通知为止"的"多年生"之外, +还包括几种稀有的"再一年生"由于基因里一种不寻常的四维扭曲, +这些植物可以在今年播种, 却去年长出来. 沃坚果藤尤其特别, +它能在种子实际播下之前最多八年就枝繁叶茂. +据说沃坚果酒能让某些饮用者窥见未来, 不过从坚果的角度来看, 那是过去. +怪事一桩, 却是事实. + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 217 (Rincewind and Twoflower are slated to become ritual sacrifices) +%passage 13 +"我希望你不是打算奴役我们."双花说. + +玛切萨看起来真的很震惊."当然不是! 你怎么会这么想? 你们在克鲁尔的生活将会富足充实而舒适--" + +"哦, 那敢情好."灵思风说. + +"--只是不会太久." + + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 228-229 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 14 +[...] 她是那位不可具名之神, 寻她之人从未得见, +她却常在至苦之人身处绝境时施以援手. 不过呢, +有时候她也不来, 她就是这样的性子. +她不爱听念珠的哒哒声, 却对骰子的叮当响情有独钟. +没人知道她长什么模样, 尽管很多时候. +一个拿性命押在牌局翻转上的赌徒, 会抓起刚发到手里的牌, +然后与她直面相对. 当然, 有时候他也不会. +在众神之中, 她同时是最受追捧和最遭诅咒的那一位. + [魔法光芒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title The Light Fantastic (12) +# p. 92 (Signet edition) +%passage 1 +"我叫科恩, 小子."贝珊的手停了下来. + +"科恩?"她说,"野蛮人科恩?" + +"正是在下." + +"等等, 等等,"灵思风说,"科恩是个大块头, 脖子粗得像公牛, 胸肌鼓得像一袋子足球. 我是说, 他是碟形世界最伟大的战士, 在世传奇. 我记得我爷爷跟我说他见过他...我爷爷跟我说他...我爷爷..." + +他在那锐利的目光下结巴起来. + +"哦,"他说,"哦. 当然. 抱歉." + +"没错,"科恩叹了口气,"小子, 我就是传说本说." + + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage 1 +# p. 113 (Twoflower is teaching the Riders how to play bridge; +# in /The Light Fantastic/, Death's dialog uses quotation marks +# and full uppercase rather than the small capital letters used in +# the other books) +%passage 2 +死神坐在房间中央一张绿色台面赌桌的一侧, 正与饥荒战争和瘟疫争辩. 只有双花抬起头来, 注意到了灵思风. + +"嘿, 你怎么到这儿来的?"他说. + +"呃, 有人说造物主抓了一把--哦, 我明白了, 这个很难解释, 不过我--" + +"行李箱在你那儿吗?" + +那只木箱子挤过灵思风, 在主人面前安顿下来. 双花掀开箱盖, 在里面翻了一会儿, 掏出一本皮面小书, 递给正在用铁手套捶桌子的战争. + +"这是诺辛格论契约法,"他说,"挺不错的, 里面有很多关于双飞牌和如何--" + +死神一把夺过书, 枯骨般的手指飞快地翻着书页, 完全没注意到旁边的两个人. + +"好,"他说,"瘟疫, 再开一副牌. 我今天非要弄个水落石出不可--当然是比喻的说法." + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage 2 +# p. 7 (passage starts mid-sentence; the too-long-to-answer question is +# "Why have Rincewind and Twoflower fallen off the Disc's rim?", +# alluding to the conclusion of /The Colour of Magic/; +# in /Sourcery/ and /Interesting Times/ and probably others, the +# famous philosopher's name is spelled "Ly Tin Wheedle") +%passage 3 +[...] 这类问题很费时间, 而且往往得不偿失. 据说有一次在宴会上, 有人问 +著名哲学家莱·廷·威德尔:"你在这儿干嘛?"结果他的回答花了整整三年. + + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 8 ('libraries': plural is accurate) +%passage 4 +房间里唯一的家具是一个 +深色木制讲台, 雕成一只鸟的形状--好吧, +老实说, 是某种长翅膀的东西, 最好别 +凑近了细看——讲台上放着一本书, 用沉重的 +铁链拴着, 链子上挂满了挂锁. + +书很大, 但并不怎么起眼. 大学图书馆里的其他书, 封面 +镶嵌着稀世宝石和精美木料, 或者用龙皮装订. 这本只是 +破旧的皮面. 它看起来像是图书馆目录里 +会描述为"略有狐斑"的那种书--尽管更诚实地说, 它分明像是 +被獾啃过或被狼撕过, 可能还让熊拍过几爪子. + + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 41-42 +%passage 5 +野蛮人酋长开口道:"那么, 人一生中最伟大的事物是什么?"--在野蛮人的圈子里, 要想维持草原威望, 就该说这种话. + +他右边的人若有所思地喝了一口母马奶和雪豹血调成的鸡尾酒, 答道:"草原尽头清晰的地平线, 吹过发梢的风, 胯下矫健的新马." + +他左边的人说:"高空中白鹰的长啸, 森林里飘落的雪, 弓上搭着的好箭." + +酋长点了点头, 说:"当然莫过于亲眼看着敌人被斩杀, 他的部族蒙受屈辱, 他的女人放声悲泣." + +这番豪言引来一阵胡子拉碴的赞许低语. + +然后酋长恭敬地转向他的客人--一个瘦小的身影, 正小心翼翼地 +在火边烤着冻疮--说:"但我们的客人, 传说般的人物, 必须如实 +告诉我们:人一生中最值得称道的事物是什么?" + +客人正又一次试图点着火(又没成功), 停下手来. + +"你说傻?"他没牙的嘴里漏着风. + +"我说: 人一生中最伟大的事物是什么?" + +武士们都凑近了, 这准值得一听. + +客人想了很久, 然后字斟句酌地说:"热水与好牙医, 还有软和的厕纸." + + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 103 +%passage 7 +众所周知, 战士和巫师向来合不来--因为一方 +觉得另一方是一群连走路和思考都无法同时 +进行的嗜血白痴, 而另一方则自然会对一群嘀嘀咕咕 +还穿长袍的家伙心存戒备. 哦, 巫师们说, 既然你要这么说, 那 +你们"异教徒青年协会"里那些钉领圈和抹油的肌肉 +又算怎么回事? 英雄们则回敬道, 这种指控从 +一帮不敢靠近女人, 只因--你信吗--怕自己的神秘力量 +被"吸走"的软脚虾嘴里说出来, 还真是够好听的. +行啊, 巫师们说, 这话可算把天聊死了, 你们那些 +皮裤衩摆造型的家伙. 哦是吗, 英雄们说, 那你咋不-- + +如此这般. 这类事情已经持续了几百年, 还引发了不少大战, 导致 +大片土地因魔法谐波而变得不宜人居. + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 128 +%passage 8 +"他疯啦?" + +"算是疯吧. 不过是有钱的那种疯." + +"哦, 那他就不是疯了. 我走南闯北见得多了, 一个人要是有很多很多钱, 他就是怪人." + +科恩拍了拍那人的肩膀. 那人烦躁地回过头来. + +"老头儿, 你想干嘛?"他吼道. + +科恩等了一会儿, 直到那人把全部注意力都放在 +自己身上, 然后他笑了. 那是一个缓慢而懒散的笑容, 露出了 +嘴里大约三百克拉的“珠宝", 仿佛把整个房间都照亮了. + +"我数到三."他用友善的口吻说,"一, 二."他 +干瘦的膝盖带着一声令人满足的闷响 +撞进那人的裆部, 紧接着他半转身, 将手肘的 +全力砸在对方腰眼上--那位首领已经蜷缩在属于自己的痛苦宇宙中了. + +"三."他对地上那团痛苦说. 科恩听说过 +公平决斗这回事, 但他早就下定决心, 不跟这东西沾边. + + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 193-194 (this passage is the data.base quote for shopkeeper) +%passage 10 +关于游商--即通称的tabernae vagantes--这一现象, 历来有三种主流理论解释. + +第一种推测, 数万年前, 多元宇宙中 +某个地方演化出了一个种族, 其唯一天赋便是 +低买高卖. 他们很快掌控了 +一个庞大的银河帝国, 或者用他们的话说, 大商号. +该物种中更先进的成员找到了一种方法, 为自家店铺 +配备独特的推进装置, 能够冲破黑暗的虚空壁垒, 开辟 +全新的广阔市场. 即使在大商号所在宇宙因热寂而灭亡 +很久之后, 在最后一场清仓大甩卖的余烬中, 这些 +流浪的星际店铺仍在继续着它们的买卖, 如同一只蛀虫 +啃穿三卷本小说一样, 在时空的册页中凿洞穿行. + +第二种理论认为, 它们是某种怜悯之命运的造物, 其职责便是 +在恰当的时刻提供恰当之物. + +第三种理论则更简单: 它们不过是绕开各种礼拜日歇业令的聪明花招. + +这些理论尽管各不相同, 但有两个共同之处: 它们都 +解释了观察到的事实, 而它们全都完全彻底地错了. + + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 205 +%passage 11 +"这些人都是哪儿冒出来的?"双花问, 他们刚又逃离了一群暴民. + +"每个正常人心里都住着一个疯子, 正挣扎着 +想出来呢,"店主说,"我一直这么觉得. 没人比一个完全正常的人疯得更快了." + + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 229-230 ('grey': British spelling is accurate) +%passage 12 +特里蒙正看着他. 某个东西正看着他. 而其他人 +仍然毫无察觉. 他能解释清楚吗? 特里蒙看起来 +和往常没什么两样--除了那双眼睛, 以及皮肤上那层淡淡的光泽. + +灵思风盯着他, 心里明白, 世上还有 +比邪恶更可怕的东西. 地狱里的所有恶魔都会 +折磨你的灵魂, 但那恰恰是因为他们非常珍视灵魂; 邪恶 +总是试图偷走宇宙, 但至少它认为宇宙值得一偷. 然而, 那双 +空空如也的双眼背后那片灰蒙蒙的领域, 会将一切践踏摧毁, 却连 +仇恨的尊严都不赋予受害者. 它甚至不会注意到他们. + + [异光, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Equal Rites (10) +# p. 118 (Signet edition; passage starts mid-sentence and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 1 +[...] 众所周知, 成功的一个关键要素, 就是 +不知道你所尝试的事情根本做不到. [...] + + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 218 (speaker is Granny Weatherwax) +%passage 2 +"百万分之一的机会", 她说, "十次里有九次会出现." + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 96-97 ('Tannoy': public address speaker) +%passage 3 +动物的头脑简单, 因此敏锐. 动物 +从不花时间把经验切成碎片, 再去琢磨 +那些漏掉的碎片. 整个宇宙的万象万物, 在它们那里 +被简洁地归纳为: (a) 交配对象; (b) 食物; (c) 要逃开的东西; (d) 石头. 这 +解放了它们的头脑, 免于不必要的杂念, 让它们在真正要紧的 +地方磨得锋利. 事实上, 一只普通的动物从不会一边走一边嚼口香糖. + +而普通人类嘛, 则日夜不停地思考 +各种事情, 在各个层次上, 还被几十种 +生物钟和时间表不时打断. 有即将说出口的 +念头, 有私密的念头, 有真正关键的念头, 还有 +关于念头的念头, 以及一整套潜意识念头. 对于心灵感应者来说, +人类的脑袋是一片嘈杂. 那是一座火车站, 所有 +广播喇叭同时开口: 那是一个完整的调频波段--而且 +其中有些电台还不正经, 是 outlawed pirates on forbidden seas, 深夜 +播着充满原始情感的唱片. + + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 18-19 +%passage 4 +史密斯从后门边拿起一把铁锹, 犹豫了一下. + +"奶奶." + +"嗯?" + +"你知道巫师们喜欢怎么被埋葬吗?" + +"知道!" + +"那, 怎么埋?" + +奶奶在楼梯脚停下脚步. + +"心不甘情不愿地." + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 70 +%passage 5 +奶奶叹了口气. "你确实学到了点东西,"她说, 觉得 +这时候在语气里加进一点严厉应该没问题. +"人们说一知半解是危险的事, 但比起全然无知, 那可要好得多了." + + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 113-114 (Esk is a young girl) +%passage 6 +驳船在一些城镇停靠. 按照传统, 只有男人上岸, 而且 +只有阿姆沙特戴着仪式性的撒谎帽跟非祖恩人说话. 艾斯克通常 +跟他一起去. 他试图暗示她应该遵守祖恩生活的不成文规则, +留在船上--但暗示对艾斯克来说, 就像蚊子叮咬对普通犀牛 +一样不痛不痒, 因为她已经学会了一件事: 如果你无视规则, 人们 +有一半时间会悄悄地把规则重写一遍, 好让它们不再适用于你. + + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 119-120 (next passage is a direct continuation of this one) +%passage 7 +这座城镇比奥胡兰小, 却别具一格, 因为 +它坐落在三条商道的交汇处, 与河流本身相隔甚远. 整个城镇围绕着 +一个巨大的广场而建, 那地方既是永远拥挤嘈杂的异域集贸市场, 又像个 +帐篷村落. 骆驼踢骡子, 骡子踢马, 马踢骆驼, 而它们全都踢人; 这里 +色彩缤纷, 喧闹震天, 气味在鼻腔里交响成一支管弦乐, 还有数百人拼命赚钱时 +那持续不断令人亢奋的声响. + +这番忙碌景象的缘由之一, 是这片大陆的 +大部分地区, 其他人更愿意不费吹灰之力地赚钱; 而 +由于碟形世界尚未发展出唱片工业, 他们便只好重操那些古老而更"传统"的劫掠行当. + +说来也怪, 这些行当往往颇费力气. 把沉重的石块滚上悬崖顶端 +好设一场像样的埋伏, 砍倒树木堵塞道路, 还要挖个布满尖刺的深坑, 同时 +还得把匕首磨得锋利无比--这些恐怕比那些更受社会认可的职业, 要耗费 +多得多的心思和力气. 尽管如此. 仍有人执迷不悟, 甘愿忍受这一切, 外加 +在恶劣环境里度过漫漫长夜, 只为了把那些普普通通装满宝石的大箱子弄到手. + + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 120-121 (this passage is a direct continuation of preceding one; +# "I said, what is happening here?" actually omits "is" +# but must be a typo--fixed here to avoid bug reports; +# 'broomstick' is Esk's disguised wizard's staff) +%passage 8 +于是, 像泽姆菲斯这样的城镇, 便是商队分流, 交汇,再聚合的地方--几十个商人 +和旅者结伴而行, 以求在接下来的路途上防范 +那些"社会弱势群体".艾斯克在喧嚣中无人注意地闲逛, 她了解这一切的方法 +很简单: 找个看起来重要的人, 拽一拽他的衣角. + +这人当时正在数烟叶包, 若不是被打断, 本该顺利数完. + +"什么?" + +"我说, 这里在干什么?" + +那人本想回一句:"走开, 烦别人去."他本想朝她 +脑袋上轻拍一下. 然而他却惊异地发现自己弯下腰来, 认真地 +跟一个脸蛋脏兮兮的小不点儿说起话来--这小孩 +还抱着一把大扫帚(他后来才觉得, 那把扫帚也在某种难以言说的意义上"留神听着"). + +他解释了商队的事. 小孩点点头. + +"人们都结伴旅行?" + +"正是." + +"去哪儿?" + +"各种地方. 斯托拉特, 普塞多波利斯...当然, 还有安卡-莫波克..." + +"可那条河也通到那儿呀,"艾斯克有理有据地说,"有驳船嘛, 还有祖恩人." + +"啊, 对,"商人说,"但他们要价高, 又不能什么都运, 再说, 大家也不太信任他们." + +"可他们非常诚实呀!" + +"哼, 是啊,"他说,"可你知道大家怎么说吗, 永远别信一个诚实的人."他心照不宣地笑了笑. + +"谁说的?" + +"他们呗. 你知道的, 大家."他说, 语气里带上了一丝不安. + +"哦,"艾斯克说. 她想了想, 一本正经地说: "他们一定很傻. 不过, 还是谢谢您." + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 127-128 (this time broomstick is Granny's defective witch's broomstick) +%passage 9 +扫帚横搁在两个支架之间. 威瑟瓦克斯奶奶坐在一处岩石露头上, 而 +一个身高只有她一半的矮人, 系着一条满是口袋的围裙, 绕着扫帚走来走去, 时不时戳它一下. + +终于, 他踢了踢扫帚头, 长长地倒吸了一口气--那是 +一种反向的口哨声, 是宇宙间工匠心照不宣的秘密信号, 意味着要花大钱了. + +"唔--"他说, "我可以叫学徒们来看看这东西, 真的可以. 光这本身就算 +一堂课了. 你说它居然真能飞起来?" + +"它飞得像鸟儿一样."奶奶说. + +矮人点了一斗烟."我倒是很想去看看那只鸟儿,"他若有所思 +地说,"我猜, 那样的鸟儿飞起来一定很值得一看." + +"是啊, 可你能修好它吗?"奶奶说, "我赶时间." + +矮人不紧不慢地坐了下来. + +"至于修嘛,"他说,"呃, 修不敢说. 重新造一个, 也许还行. 当然啦, 如今 +扫帚头可不好找, 就算能找到人做正经的绑扎, 咒语还得--" + +"我不要重新造, 我只要它能好好飞."奶奶说. + +"您瞧, 这是早期型号,"矮人继续絮叨, "那些早期型号可麻烦了. 木材根本弄不到--" + +他整个人被拎了起来, 直到眼睛与奶奶的眼睛平齐. 矮人本身算得上是 +魔法生物, 对魔法有相当的抵抗力, 但奶奶那神情, 简直像是要把他的眼珠子焊到后脑勺上去. + +"就给我修好它,"她嘶声道,"行吗?" + +"什么, 凑合着糊弄一下?"矮人说, 烟斗哐当掉在地上. + +"对." + +"你是说, 草草补一补? 背叛我的手艺, 干半吊子活儿?" + +"对."奶奶说. 她的瞳孔是两个小黑洞. + +"哦,"矮人说,"那好吧." + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 185 (actually uses four periods to mark a sentence ending in an ellipsis) +%passage 10 +也许在某个宇宙里, 图书管理员算是一种安稳平和的职业, 风险 +无非是被书架上掉下来的大部头砸到脑袋. 但掌管一座魔法图书馆, 可不是 +粗心大意的人能干的活儿. 咒语自有其力量, 仅仅把它们写下来塞进书页之间, 并不能 +削弱分毫. 那东西会泄漏. 书籍之间会彼此反应, 生出拥有自身意志的随机魔法. 魔法书 +通常被锁链拴在书架上--但锁住它们, 可不是为了防止被偷走... + + [平等权利, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Mort (11) +# p. 136 (Signet edition; passage is a footnote; +# Vetinari doesn't show up as recurring Patrician until /Sourcery/) +%passage 1 +安卡-莫波克曾尝试过多种政体, 最终落实为 +一种名为一人一票的民主形式. 执政官便是那一人:他拥有那一票. + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 11 +%passage 2 +莫特开始对那块石头产生了兴趣. 石头里 +嵌着卷曲的贝壳, 那是世界早期的遗存--那时造物主用石头造出各种生物, 没人知道为什么. + +莫特感兴趣的事情多得很. 比如说, 为什么人们的牙齿能咬合得 +那么整齐? 他在这事儿上花了不少心思. 还有一道难题: 为什么太阳 +偏偏在白昼出来, 而不是在夜晚——夜晚的光线才正派得上用场呢. 他知道 +标准解释, 但不知怎的, 总觉得不够满意. + +简而言之, 莫特就是那种比一袋响尾蛇还要危险的人. 他决心 +要找出宇宙背后隐藏的逻辑. + +这恐怕会很难, 因为根本不存在这种东西. 造物主在创造世界时有 +很多绝妙的好主意, 但让世界变得可以理解, 却不在其中. + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 18 +%passage 3 +"可你是死神呀,"莫特说,"你到处去杀人!" + +我? 杀人? 死神显然被冒犯了. 当然不是. 人们被杀, 那是 +他们自己的事, 我只是从那时起接手而已. 毕竟, 要是人被杀却不会死, 那 +这世界岂不是蠢透了, 你说呢? + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 25 +%passage 4 +"这是魔法吗?"莫特问. + +你觉得呢? 死神说. 我真的在这儿吗, 孩子? + +"是的,"莫特慢慢地说,"我...我观察过人们. 他们看着你, 但我想他们并没有真正 +看见你. 你对他们的脑子做了什么." + +死神摇了摇头. + +那是他们自己做的, 他说. 没有魔法. 人们看不见我, 他们只是不允许 +自己看见. 当然, 直到时辰到了为止. 巫师能看见我, 猫也能. 但普通人类...不, 永远不会. 他向 +天空吐了一个烟圈, 又补了一句: 说来奇怪, 却是事实. + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 48-49 (Binky is Death's white horse, who was left 'parked' on a +# castle's roof; Mort is Death's novice apprentice) +%passage 5 +他们到了屋顶上, 死神才再次开口. + +你试图警告过他, 他说, 一边取下宾奇的头罩. + +"是的，先生。抱歉." + +你不能干涉命运. 你算什么人, 凭什么判断谁该活谁该死? + +死神仔细端详着莫特的表情. + +只有众神才被允许这么做, 他又补了一句. 哪怕只改动一个人的命运, 都可能毁掉整个世界. 你明白吗? + +莫特痛苦地点了点头. + +"你会送我回家吗?"他问. + +死神俯身, 把他拎起来甩到马鞍后面. + +因为你表现出了同情? 不. 若是你表现出愉悦, 我倒可能那么做. 但你必须学会你这一行当应有的同情. + +"那是什么?" + +锋利的刀刃. + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 59-61 (in Ankh-Morpork, Mort has accidentally walked through a wall +# into an immigrant Klatchian family's dining room; 'the creature +# who was not there' refers to Death during an earlier event) +%passage 6 +"我不是恶魔! 我是人!"他说, 却震惊地顿住了--因为他嘴里冒出的竟是完美的克拉奇语. + +"你是贼?"那父亲说,"凶手?这样偷偷摸摸进来, 你是收税官吧?"他的手滑到桌下, 再抬起来时, 握着一把磨得纸一样薄的切肉刀. 妻子尖叫着扔下盘子, 把最小的孩子搂进怀里. + +莫特看着刀刃在空中比划, 认命了. + +"我带来地狱最底层的问候."他姑且一试. + +变化立竿见影. 切肉刀放下了, 全家人绽开灿烂的笑容. + +"若有恶魔来访, 那是我们的福气."父亲眉开眼笑,"你有什么愿望, 奥弗勒胯下邪恶的孽种?" + +"什么?"莫特说. + +"恶魔会给帮助它的人带来祝福和好运,"那男人说,"我们该如何效劳, 深渊里邪恶的恶臭狗肺?" + +"呃, 我不太饿,"莫特说,"但如果你知道哪儿能弄到快马, 我可以在日落前赶到斯托拉特." + +男人笑着鞠了一躬."我正好知道地方, 肠道的恶臭排泄物, 请随我来." + +莫特匆匆跟了出去. 那位古老的祖先用挑剔的目光目送他们离去, 双颊有节奏地咀嚼着. + +"那就是他们管叫恶魔的东西?"它说,"奥弗勒让这潮湿的国家烂掉吧, 连恶魔都是三流货色, 跟咱们老家那会儿的恶魔根本没法比." + +妻子把一小碗米饭放在奥弗勒雕像叠起的中间那双手里(明早就会消失), 然后退后一步. + +"当家的上个月在咖喱花园说过, 他招待过一个不在那儿的玩意儿,"她说,"他印象很深." + +十分钟后, 男人回来了, 庄重而沉默地把一小堆金币放在桌上. 那笔钱足够买下城里很大一片地方. + +"他有一整袋呢."他说. + +一家人盯着钱看了好一会儿. 妻子叹了口气. + +"钱财带来许多麻烦,"她说,"咱们怎么办?" + +"回克拉奇去,"丈夫坚定地说,"让孩子们在正当的国度长大, 恪守我们先祖的光荣传统, 男人不用给邪恶的主子当跑堂, 而是可以堂堂正正地挺起腰杆. 咱们得马上走, 枣椰树的芬芳花朵." + +"为何这么急, 沙漠里勤劳的儿子?" + +"因为,"那男人说,"我刚把执政官的冠军赛马给卖了." + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 139-140 (passage ends mid-sentence) +%passage 7 +"你对君主制了解不多, 是吧?"凯莉说. + +"呃, 不了解?" + +"她的意思是, 与其在别处做个活着的平民, 不如在自己的城堡里做个死去的女王,"卡特维尔说, [...] + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 158 +%passage 8 +"你是说你不肯帮忙?"莫特说,"就算你有能力也不帮?" + +“给这小子颁个奖吧,"阿尔伯特嘟囔道,"别以为你可以打动我 +这副硬壳外表底下那点善良本性,"他又补了一句,"因为 +我内里也硬邦邦得很." + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 159-160 (Death has come to an employment agency--a new concept in +# Ankh-Morpork--looking for a job) +%passage 9 +"那么您之前的职位是?" + +您说什么? + +"您以什么为生?"桌后那个瘦削的年轻人问道. + +我引领灵魂进入来世. 我是一切希望的坟墓. 我是终极的真实. 我是万锁莫御的刺客. + +"好的, 我明白了, 但您有什么特别的技能吗?" + +我想...我对农具应该还算有些熟练度? 过了一会儿, 他试探着说. + +年轻人坚定地摇了摇头. + +没有? + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 205 +%passage 10 +死神扬起颅骨, 嗅了嗅空气. + +那声音穿透大厅里所有的嘈杂, 迫使一切归于寂静. + +那是一种你在梦境昏昧边缘才能听到的声音--那种让你浑身冷汗, 在极度恐惧中 +惊醒的声音. 那是恐惧之门下传来的鼻息声. 像刺猬的哼哼, 但若是刺猬, 那便是 +能从路边猛冲而出, 碾平卡车的刺猬, 那种声音, 你绝不会想听第二遍: 甚至一次都不想. + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 207 +%passage 11 +"好了, 这对我们所有人都是一个教训,"财务官一边掸掉袍子上的灰尘和烛蜡, 一边继续说道. 他抬起头, 以为能看到阿尔贝托·马利克雕像回到基座上. + +"显然就连雕像也有感情,"他说,"我自己还记得, 当我还是大一新生的时候, 曾在它的...呃, 算了, 不提了. 关键是, 我在此提议, 我们立刻把雕像换掉." + +这个建议迎来了死一般的寂静. + +"比如说, 用黄金铸一座一模一样的, 再镶嵌上合适的宝石, 这才配得上我们伟大的创校人嘛,"他兴高采烈地接着说. + +"为了确保没有任何学生能损毁它, 我建议把它立在最深的地窖里,"他继续说. + +"然后把门锁上,"他又补了一句. 几位巫师开始露出喜色. + +"再把钥匙扔掉?"灵思风说. + +"把门焊上,"财务官说. 他刚刚想起了破鼓酒吧那档子事. 他又想了一会儿, 也记起了那个健身计划. + +"然后再把门洞砌死,"他说. 响起一片掌声. + +"再把砌砖工也扔掉!"灵思风咯咯笑道, 觉得自己已经摸到门道了. + +财务官瞪了他一眼."没必要那么得寸进尺."他说. + + [死神学徒, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Sourcery (11) +# p. 9 (Signet edition; passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 1 +"[...], 而人类如果没有爱, 会是什么样子?" + +"罕见."死神说. [...] + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 180 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 2 +他们深受一种可怕的错觉之苦, 以为事情总还有可为之处. 他们似乎 +准备好要把世界改造成自己想要的模样, 否则便在尝试中死去——而"在尝试中死去"的问题 +恰恰在于: 你会在尝试中死去. + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 11 ('worth while': two words is accurate, although strange) +%passage 3 +"我是说,"伊普斯洛尔苦涩地说,"这世上究竟有什么, 能让人生值得一过?" + +猫, 他最后说, 猫挺不错的. + +"诅咒你!" + +很多人都这么干过, 死神平静地说. + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 40-41 (this used to have a correction for "an obvious typo" in the last +# sentence [before the footnote] which was actually a transcription +# error, with "were" erroneously inserted [causing the sentence to +# parse oddly] but not present in the original text; fixed now) +%passage 4 +这个盗贼--正如后文会看到的--属于一种特殊的类型. 他是偷窃这门艺术的大家. 别的盗贼 +顶多偷走一切没被钉牢的东西, 可他连钉子也一并偷走. 他让安卡城为之侧目, 因为 +他格外热衷于盗窃那些不仅被钉得严严实实, 而且还由目光如炬的守卫看管, 藏在 +难以企及的保险库中的物件, 并且屡屡得手, 令人咋舌. 世上有画家能画满一整座礼拜堂 +的天顶画; 他便是那种能把天顶画也偷走的小偷. + +据传, 这位神偷曾在晚祷进行到一半时, 从鳄鱼神奥弗勒的神庙里 +盗走了那柄镶宝的剖腹刀; 又曾在执政官最出色的赛马正冲向胜利的当口, 偷走 +了那匹马的银蹄. 当盗贼公会副会长格里托勒·明普西在集市上被人挤了一下, 回家后发现 +刚到手的一把钻石已不翼而飞, 他立刻知道该找谁算账--因为他为了保险起见, 把宝石吞进了 +肚子里. (1)这便是那种能偷走主动权或者时机, 甚至是你话到嘴边那几个字的小偷. + +(1)因为格里托勒为了安全起见把宝石吞了下去。 + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 63-64 ('Compleet', 'Majik', 'enterr', 'physycal', 'hys', 'bodie', +# 'Destinie', 'Deathe', 'werre', 'nowe', 'menne', 'Ende', +# 'Worlde', 'hadd', 'bee', 'goddes', 'ould', 'Apocralypse', +# 'legende', 'thee': all accurate; 'ould' may be a typo...) +%passage 5 +图书馆里一片死寂. 书本们已不再慌乱. 它们已越过恐惧的边界, 驶入 +极度惊骇的平静水域, 蜷缩在书架上, 像一群被催眠的兔子. + +一条多毛的长臂伸过来，在它来得及退缩之前一把抓住《卡斯普洛克魔法大全及智者箴言》，用修长的手指安抚了它的恐惧，然后翻到“S”条目下。图书管理员轻轻抚平颤抖的书页，用角质指甲划过条目，直到找到： + + *Sourceror*，/n.(神话).原初巫师, 新魔法进入世界的门户,/ + /不受自身肉体物理能力限制的巫师, 不受命运, / + /也不受死亡所限. 据载世界初生之时曾有过原初巫师,/ + /但如今不再有, 幸哉./ + /因为原初魔法非人类所能为, 它的回归意味着世界之终结.../ + /倘若造物主意欲人类成为神明, 他早就赐予他们翅膀了./ + /另见: 天启录, 冰霜巨人的传说,/ + /以及众神的茶歇./ + +图书管理员读完了交叉引用的条目, 翻回第一条, 用深邃的黑眼睛久久地凝视着. 然后他小心地把书放回去, 爬到桌下, 把毯子蒙过头顶. + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 71-72 +%passage 6 +如今的执政官, 出身于极其富有且权倾朝野的维提纳里家族, 身材瘦高, 显然 +冷血得像一只死企鹅. 只需看他一眼, 你便会觉得他就是那种人: 养一只白猫, 一边 +漫不经心地抚弄它, 一边把犯人判处扔进食人鱼池; 你还可以大胆推测, 他大概收藏着 +稀有而薄脆的瓷器, 用蓝白色的指尖反复把玩, 同时远方地牢深处 +传来回荡的惨叫. 他用起"精美绝伦"这类词来, 你一点都不觉得奇怪, 而且 +嘴唇必定很薄. 他看上去就是那种--每次眨眼, 你都该在日历上记一笔的人物. + +实际上, 这些臆想几乎全都不成立, 尽管他确实养了一只体型小巧且年迈至极的 +刚毛猎狐梗, 名叫沃夫斯, 浑身臭烘烘的, 见人就呼哧喘气. 据说那是他在整个世界 +唯一真正在乎的东西. 他当然偶尔也会让人遭受酷刑致死, 但这在市政统治者中算是 +完全可以接受的行为, 并普遍得到了绝大多数市民的认可. (1)安卡市民是务实的, 他们 +觉得执政官颁布的禁止街头戏剧和哑剧艺人的法令, 已经足够抵偿很多事了. 他统治的 +不是恐怖之政, 只是偶尔下点小雨. + +(1)此处的"绝大多数市民"定义是: 所有尚未倒吊在蝎子坑上方的人. + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 75 +%passage 7 +"这个大破灭到底是什么东西?" + +灵思风迟疑了一下. "呃,"他说, "就是世界末日. 差不多吧." + +"差不多? 差不多是世界末日? 你是说我们还不确定? 我们大家 +东张西望，然后说'抱歉, 你听到什么动静了吗'?" + +"问题在于, 从来没有两个先知意见一致过. 各种含糊的预言 +层出不穷. 有些简直疯得厉害. 所以它被叫做大破灭."他显得 +有点尴尬."算是伪经式的天启吧. 你看, 这就是个双关语." + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 110 +%passage 8 +"你很安静啊, 斯佩尔特. 你不同意吗?" + +不. 世界曾有过原初魔法, 但放弃了它, 转而选择了巫术. 巫术是人类的魔法, 不是神明的. 它不适合 +我们. 它有什么不对劲的地方, 而我们已忘了那是什么. 我喜欢巫术. 它 +不扰乱世界. 它恰到好处. 它是正确的. 我只想做个巫师. + +他低头看着自己的脚. + +"是的."他低声说. + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 141-142 (Rincewind and Nijel have just entered a harem) +%passage 9 +灵思风对这些全然视而不见. [...] 他们被远远更大的恐慌洪流所淹没--四个守卫 +正转身面向他, 手中弯刀寒光闪闪, 眼中杀意毕露. + +灵思风毫不犹豫地向后退了一步. + +"交给你了, 朋友."他说. + +"好!" + +尼杰尔拔出剑, 举在身前, 双臂因用力而微微颤抖. + +全场彻底沉默了数秒, 所有人都在等着看接下来会发生什么. 然后, 尼杰尔喊出了 +那句灵思风这辈子都忘不了的战吼. + +"呃,"他说,"劳驾..." + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 198-199 +%passage 10 +克鲁尔的星象哲学家们曾一度成功地证明, 所有地方都是一个地方, 它们 +之间的距离不过是幻觉. 这一消息让所有善于思考的哲学家都颇为难堪, 因为它 +完全没有解释--别的不说--路标是怎么回事. 经过数年的争论, 整个问题 +被移交给了莱·廷·威德尔--堪称碟形世界最伟大的哲学家(1)--他思索一番后宣称: 虽然 +所有地方确实是一个地方, 但那个地方非常大. + +于是, 精神秩序得以恢复. 然而, 距离完全是一种主观现象, 而魔法生物可以随心所欲地调整它. + +不过, 他们未必擅长此道. + +(1)他一直坚称自己就是. + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# +# additional passage added for 5.0 +# +# p. 164 (passage begins mid-sentence) +%passage 11 +用魔法杀害同僚巫师几乎是不可能的, 因为任何谨慎的巫师都会 +时刻在自己周身维持层层防护法术. (1)年轻巫师在看不见的大学学到的第一件事--除了 +自己的挂钩在哪儿或是厕所在哪个方向之外--就是必须时时刻刻保护自己. + +有些人认为这是偏执狂, 但并非如此. 偏执狂只是认为 +每个人都想害他们. 巫师们知道这是事实. + +(1)当然, 巫师们经常用普通的非魔法的方式互相杀害, 这完全是被允许的, 对于 +巫师来说, 死于暗杀被视为自然死亡. + + [巫术, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Wyrd Sisters (15) +# p. 318 (ROC edition; passage starts mid-paragraph; +# speaker is Granny Weatherwax) +%passage 1 +"[...] "命运是重要的, 你看, 但人们错就错在认为 +命运控制他们. 事实正相反." + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 105-106 +%passage 2 +维伦斯尽量避开穿墙而过, 男人总要顾及自己的体面. + +他察觉到有什么东西在看着他. + +他转过头. + +一只猫蹲在门口, 正对他缓缓眨眼. 那是一只花斑灰猫, 胖得离谱... + +不. 是大得离谱. 它浑身覆盖着层层伤疤, 看起来像一只 +长满了毛的拳头. 耳朵只是两截穿孔的残桩, 眼睛是两条黄色的 +细缝, 透着随性的恶毒; 它盯着他时, 尾巴像一串抖动的问号. + +格里博听说费尔梅特夫人养了一只白色小母猫, 便踱步前来致意. + +维伦斯从没见过这么浑身都透着邪气的动物. 当它摇摇摆摆地 +穿过地板, 试图在他腿边蹭来蹭去, 发出瀑布般的 +呼噜声时, 他并没有抗拒. + +"嗯, 嗯,"国王含糊地说. 他弯下腰, 努力在它头顶那两片 +破烂的残耳后面挠了挠. 能遇到一个除了幽灵之外也能看见他 +的活物, 真是种解脱; 而他不由自主地觉得, 格里博绝对是一只 +非同寻常的猫. 城堡里的大多数猫, 要么是被宠坏的 +宠物, 要么是厨房和马厩里那些耳朵扁平的常客, 大体上 +和它们赖以生存的啮齿动物没什么两样. 而这只猫, 是它自己的 +主人. 当然, 所有猫都给人这种感觉, 但格里博散发出的不是 +那种动物式无意识的自我专注--那常被当作猫咪的秘传智慧--而是 +真正的智慧. 它还散发出一种气味, 那种气味足以把墙熏倒, 让一只 +死狐狸都得犯鼻炎. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 14-15 +%passage 3 +他琢磨着幽灵会不会打猎. 想来几乎是不可能的. 吃喝 +恐怕也一样, 这实在令人沮丧. 他喜欢热闹喧嚣的宴席, 曾豪饮过 +许多品脱的好麦酒--坏麦酒也一样, 说起来. 他通常直到第二天早上 +才能分出两者的区别. + +(1)"豪饮"类似于"喝", 但洒得更多. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 60-61 (dwarfish mechanics: see /Equal Rites/) +%passage 4 +威瑟瓦克斯奶奶给山羊挤了奶并喂了食, 把炉火封好, 用布盖上 +镜子, 把扫帚从门后拖了出来. 她走出门, 随手锁好, 把 +钥匙挂在厕所里的钉子上. + +这样就足够了. 在拉姆托普山脉女巫的整个历史中, 只有一次 +有个小偷闯入过女巫的小屋. 而那位女巫给了他最可怕的惩罚. (1) + +奶奶跨上扫帚, 嘀咕了几句咒语, 却底气不足. 又试了 +几次后, 她下了扫帚, 摆弄了一下绑扎, 又试了一回. 扫帚一端 +闪出一点微光. 随即又熄灭了. + +"该死."她低声嘟囔. + +她小心翼翼地环顾四周. 生怕有人看见. 其实只有一只 +正在觅食的獾, 听见奔跑的脚步声, 从灌木丛中探出头来, 正好看见 +奶奶沿着小路猛冲, 扫帚被僵直地夹在身侧. 最后, 魔法 +终于奏效了, 她笨拙地翻身跃上扫帚--然后在它像一只缺了翅膀的 +鸭子般跌跌撞撞冲入夜空之前, 总算骑稳了. + +树林上方传来一句对矮人工匠的含糊咒骂. + +(1) 她什么都没做, 只不过偶尔在村子里见到他时, 会露出 +一丝茫然困惑的微笑. 三个星期后, 这种悬而未决的恐惧 +让他再也受不了了, 便自我了断--其实他是自我放逐, 一路逃到了 +大陆的另一头, 在那里洗心革面, 从此再也没有回家. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 76 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 5 +然后, 令人惊恐地突然之间, 什么事都没有发生. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 82 ('/Good/ fool': lowercase 'fool' is accurate) +%passage 6 +"我眼前所见, 可是一把匕首?"他喃喃道. + +"呃, 不是的, 大人. 那是我的手帕, 您看. 您仔细瞧瞧 +就能分辨出来了--它没那么多锋利的刃." + +"好傻瓜."公爵恍惚地说. + +彻底疯了, 弄臣心想. 脑子里少了好几根弦. 歪得离谱, 拿他开酒瓶都嫌多. + +"跪到我身边来, 我的弄臣." + +弄臣照做了. 公爵把一条脏兮兮的绷带搭在他肩上. + +"你忠诚吗, 弄臣?"他说,"你可靠吗?" + +"我发过誓, 要追随主人直到死亡."弄臣沙哑地说. + +公爵把那张疯癫的脸凑近弄臣. 弄臣抬起头, 看见一双布满血丝的眼睛. + +"我不想那样的,"他压低声音, 密谋般地说,"是他们逼我的. 我不想--" + +门猛地推开. 公爵夫人堵住了门口--实际上, 她的身形几乎和门框一样宽. + +"利昂纳尔!"她厉声喝道. + +弄臣被公爵眼神的变化迷住了. 那疯狂的红色火焰熄灭了, 被 +吸了回去, 取而代之的是他已然熟悉的冰冷蓝色凝视. 他意识到, 这 +并不意味着公爵好了一点. 即使他理智的冰冷, 某种程度上也是一种 +疯狂. 公爵的心智像时钟一样滴答作响--而像时钟一样, 它也会准时发疯. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 85 +%passage 7 +高沼地的山脊上, 立着一块巨石. 夏日里, 山鹑常像一群 +嗡嗡作响的小傻瓜似的, 潜伏在周围的灌木丛中. 这块石头 +大致矗立在几位女巫领地的交汇处--尽管边界从未正式划定过. + +这块石头大约有一个高个子男人那么高, 由 +略带蓝色的岩石构成. 它被认为具有强烈的 +魔力, 因为--虽然只有这么一块--却从来没有人能数清它;若是 +它察觉到有人正用打量的目光看着它, 它便会悄悄挪到那人 +身后去. 它是有史以来被发现的最为甘于隐退的巨石. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 92 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 8 +恶魔就像精灵或者哲学教授--如果你措辞不完全准确, 他们 +就会乐此不疲地给你绝对准确却又完全误导的答案. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 121 +%passage 9 +欧格奶奶也起了个大早. 反正她也睡不着, 而且, 她 +还在担心格里博. 格里博是她为数不多的盲点之一. 理智上, 她 +承认格里博确实是一只肥胖, 狡猾, 臭烘烘的连环强奸犯, 但她本能地 +还是把它想象成几十年前那只毛茸茸的小猫咪. 即便 +它曾把一只母狼追得上树, 还让一只正在 +老老实实挖树根的母熊大吃一惊, 这也不能阻止 +她担心格里博会遭遇什么不测. 而王国里其他 +所有人都普遍认为, 唯一能让格里博慢下来的, 恐怕 +只有陨石直击了. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 133 (the duke has locked Nanny Ogg in the castle dungeon) +%passage 10 +"我真的建议你们都回家去,"威瑟瓦克斯奶奶说,"这很可能是个误会. 谁都知道, 没人能违背女巫的意志把她关起来." + +"这次闹得太过分了,"一个农民说,"又是烧人, 又是征税, 现在又添上这档子事. 我怪你们女巫. 这必须停. 我知道我的权利." + +"什么权利?"奶奶问. + +"柴火权, 普通牧草权, 嬉闹权, 残羹权, 碎屑权, 鼠尾草权和尖刺权,"那农民脱口而出,"还有橡果权, 每隔一年一次, 以及在公地上养三分之二只山羊的权利. 直到他放火烧了它. 那可真是一头好山羊." + +"一个人要是像你这样清楚自己的权利, 能走得很远,"奶奶说,"但现在, 他该回家了." + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 164 +%passage 11 +"那个不干涉政治的规定到底怎么了?"麦格莱特望着她远去的背影说. + +欧格奶奶把一点活力揉回自己的手指. + +"以霍基的名义起誓, 那女人的下巴简直像铁砧, "她说,"你刚才说什么?" + +"我说, 那个不干涉的规定呢?" + +"啊,"欧格奶奶说. 她拉住姑娘的胳膊. "事情是这样的,"她解释道,"等你在这门手艺里越走越深, 你就会知道还有另一条规矩. 埃丝米一辈子都守着它." + +"那是什么?" + +"你要是打破规矩, 就得把它往死里砸,"欧格奶奶说, 咧嘴一笑, 那光秃秃的牙床比牙齿还要瘆人. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 238 +%passage 12 +"我是认真的. 看看我. 我本不该写剧本的. 矮人甚至不该能识字. 如果我是你, 我不会太担心命运. 我注定要当矿工. 命运有一半时间是错的." + +"可你说过他长得像那个弄臣. 我可看不出来, 我跟你说." + +"得光线合适才行." + +"说不定真有命运在作祟呢." + +赫尔耸了耸肩. 命运这东西, 他知道, 很滑稽. 你不能信它. 很多时候你甚至看不见它. 就在你以为已经把它逼到墙角时, 它却变成了别的东西--也许是巧合, 也许是天意. 你把门堵上不让它进来, 它却站在你身后. 然后就在你以为已经把它钉死的时候, 它却拎着锤子走了. + +他在剧本里大量运用命运. 作为戏剧工具, 它比鬼魂还好使. 没什么比来点儿命运更能让老套情节滚动起来了. 但要是以为你能看清它的形状, 那就错了. 至于认为它能被控制... + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 242 (passage starts mid-paragraph; Lancre has recently come out of a +# magic-induced 15-year stasis; 'things ... is': 'things' plural is +# accurate, though probably a typo) +%passage 13 +除了对女巫的普遍怀疑之外, 兰克雷少数与外界有来往的人 +渐渐明白: 要么是发生的事比他们以前听说的要多, 要么就是时间 +错乱了. 这不容易证实(1), 但冬天过后沿着山路来的那几个商人, 看起来 +比他们本该是的年纪要老得多. 在拉姆托普山脉, 由于魔法潜力很高, 人们 +或多或少预料到会有无法解释的事发生, 但一夜之间消失好几年还是头一回. + +(1) 因为各个邦国, 王国和城市记录时间的方式各不相同. 毕竟, 在 +一百平方英里的区域内, 同一年可能被称为小蝙蝠年, 预想 +猴年, 猎云年, 肥牛年, 三匹骏马年, 以及至少九个数字, 用来记录(2)各类 +国王, 先知和怪事加冕, 诞生或发生以来的时间, 而且每年的月数 +也不一样, 其中有些甚至没有星期, 还有一个拒绝把"天"当作时间单位, 在 +这种情况下, 唯一能确定的事就是: 美好的性爱持续得不够久.(3) + +(2) 蒙塔布神权国的日历是倒着数的, 不是正着数. 没人知道 +为什么, 但待在那里弄清楚可能不是个好主意. + +(3) 当然, 大内夫的扎平戈部落除外. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 250 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 14 +那地方的美景, 倒还说得清. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 265 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 15 +过去可比现在好多了. + + [命运姐妹, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Pyramids (11) +# p. 218 (ROC edition) +%passage 1 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +这种时候, 一个人需要的不过是个征兆, 要么 +就是某种说明书. 可生活的麻烦就在于, 你在真刀真枪 +上场之前, 根本没机会练练手. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 128 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 2 +区区动物可做不出这种事. 你得是个人, 才能蠢得这么彻底. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 9-10 ('tlingas' is accurate) +%passage 3 +那是一面全身镜. 所有刺客的房间里都有一面全身镜, 因为 +要是在衣着不得体的时候杀人, 那对被刺者可是天大的侮辱. + +特皮克挑剔地打量着自己. 这身行头花光了他 +最后一个子儿, 黑色丝绸用得极重. 走动时衣料窸窣作响. 相当不错. + +至少头痛在消退了. 这东西几乎折腾了他一整天; 他一直 +害怕得不得不在眼前有紫斑的情况下开始行动. + +他叹了口气, 打开黑色的盒子, 取出戒指戴上. 另一个 +盒子里放着一套克拉奇钢刃, 刀身用灯烟熏黑. 各种精巧复杂的 +工具从天鹅绒袋里取出, 落入各个口袋. 几柄长刃投掷用的廷加被 +插入靴子里的刀鞘. 一根细丝线和折叠抓钩缠在腰间, 罩在锁子甲 +外面. 一支吹管系在皮绳上, 垂在斗篷下的背后; 特皮克把一个 +细长的锡盒揣进口袋, 里面装着各式飞镖, 镖尖塞着软木塞, 镖杆 +上刻着盲文编码, 方便在黑暗中挑选. + +他忍痛皱了皱眉, 检查了细剑的刃口, 将剑带甩上右肩, 以平衡 +那袋铅弹投石弹药. 想了想之后, 他又打开袜子抽屉, 取出 +一把手弩, 一小瓶油, 一卷开锁器, 略作斟酌后 +又拿了一把拳刺匕首, 一袋各式铁蒺藜和一副铜指套. + +特皮克拿起帽子, 检查衬里是否藏着一圈奶酪丝. 他把帽子 +往头上一戴, 歪出个俏皮的角度, 最后满意地照了一眼镜子, 转身 +便走——然后, 非常缓慢地, 倒了下去. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 30 +%passage 4 +他永远都记得在宿舍度过的第一晚. 那房间 +长到足以容纳蛇楼的十八个男孩, 又漏风到足以容纳整个 +户外. 设计者也许考虑过舒适, 但那只是为了在可能的时候 +回避它: 他愣是造出了一间比外面天气还要冷的屋子. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 92 +%passage 5 +几颗星星提前被放了出来. 特皮克 +抬头望着它们. 也许, 他想, 别处也有生命. 可能 +在那些星星上. 如果真有数十亿个宇宙紧挨着堆在一起, 相隔 +不过一个念头的厚度, 那别处肯定也有人. + +但无论他们在哪里, 无论他们多么努力, 无论他们 +的尝试多么了不起, 他们肯定做不到像我们这样 +蠢得天怒人怨. 我是说, 我们在这事上下了功夫. 我们一开始只是 +得了点火星子, 但经过几十万年的锤炼, 我们真的把它发扬光大了. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 96 (Ptaclusp the pyramid builder, sons Ptaclusp IIa and Ptaclusp IIb) +%passage 6 +后嗣! 众神硬是给了他一个儿子, 连说声"早上好"都要 +按呼吸次数收费, 另一个则痴迷几何, 整宿不睡设计 +引水渠. 你省吃俭用送他们上最好的学校, 结果 +他们倒好, 用"受了教育"来报答你. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 136 +%passage 7 +有一条像"倒霉基本法则第三条"一样铁定的 +事实: 世上从来没有过什么好大维齐尔. 热衷 +于咯咯怪笑和阴谋策划, 显然就是这个岗位的标配. + +大祭司们往往也被归入同一类. 他们不得不面对 +这样一种潜台词--仿佛只要他们一戴上那顶滑稽帽子, 就会 +立刻发布各种古怪命令, 比如把公主绑在岩石上献给过路的 +海怪, 或者把婴儿扔进海里. + +这纯属无耻诽谤. 在碟形世界的整个历史上, 绝大多数 +大祭司都是严肃, 虔诚, 尽职尽责的人, 他们竭尽全力去诠释众神的 +旨意, 有时为了确保自己理解得绝对准确, 一天之内就要开膛破肚 +或活剥上百人. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 206-208 (text has 'that's now it happened'; 'now' changed to 'how' here) +%passage 8 +科普利默, 这位世界历史上最伟大的讲故事者, 向后一靠, 对 +围坐在餐桌旁的世界最伟大的头脑们满意地微笑. + +特皮克给自己的新知识库存又增添了一丁点儿内容."研讨会"的意思 +就是一顿刀叉茶话会. + +"嗯,"科普利默说, 然后便开始了关于索尔提亚战争的故事. + +"你们看, 事情是这样的, /他/把/她/带回了家. 然后 +她父亲--不是那个老国王, 是前一个, 就是那个什么来着, 他娶了 +艾尔哈比那边的一个姑娘, 那姑娘有点斜眼, 她叫什么来着, 现在 +想不起来了, 开头是个P. 要么是个L. 反正, 是这些字母里的一个. 她父亲 +在那边海湾里有个岛, 我想是叫帕皮洛斯. 不对, 我说 +错了, 是克里尼克斯. /反正/那个国王, 另一个国王, 他召集了 +一支军队, 然后他们...埃莉诺, 那是她的名字. 她有点 +斜眼, 你知道的. 不过他们说她还挺漂亮的. 我说结婚的时候, 我想 +我用不着给你细说了吧. 我是说, 这事儿有点不太正式. 呃. 总之, 有 +这么一个木马, 他们进去之后...我跟你们提过这匹马吗? 它是 +一匹马. 我很肯定它是一匹马. 又或者它是一只鸡. 瞧我这 +记性, 差点连自己名字都忘了! 那是那个谁的主意, 就是那个 +跛脚的. 对. 我是说他腿有毛病. 我跟你们提过他吗? 之前有过 +一场架. 不对, 我想那是另一场了. 对. 总之, 这个木头猪, 绝妙的 +主意, 他们用那啥做的. 就在嘴边儿上. 木头. 不过那是后来的事了, 你们 +知道的. 那场架! 差点忘了说那场架. 对. 真他娘的是场好架. 大家 +都敲着盾牌大喊大叫. 那个谁的盔甲就像闪亮的盔甲一样闪闪发光. 那架 +打得, 可真够劲. 是在那个谁和那个谁之间, 不是跛脚的那个, 是 +另一个, 那个谁, 红头发的 .你知道的. 高个子, 说话有点 +咬舌头. 等等, 我刚想起来, 他是从别的什么岛来的. 不是他. 是 +另一个, 跛脚的那个. 他不想去, 他说他疯了. 当然, 他妈的 +是疯了, 毫无疑问. 我是说, 一头木牛! 就像那个谁说的, 那个 +国王, 不对, 不是那个国王, 是另一个, 他看见那只山羊, 他说'我害怕 +艾菲比人, 特别是当他们疯到把这么大的木头牲口留在咱家门口 +的时候, 真够有种的, 他们准以为咱是昨天 +才出生的, 给我烧了它, '然后, 当然了, 那个谁从后边溜了进去, 把 +所有人都杀了, 真是笑死人了. 我说过她有点斜眼来着? 他们说 +她挺漂亮, 不过审美这事儿嘛, 各有不同. 对. 总之, 事情就是 +这么发生的. 现在呢, 当然了, 那个谁--我想他是叫 +梅利卡纳斯, 是个瘸子--他想回家, 嗯, 换成谁都会想, 他们 +在那儿都呆了好些年了, 他也不年轻了. 所以他才想出了那个木头 +那啥的主意. 对. 我说错了, 拉瓦利尔斯才是那个膝盖有毛病的.那场架 +打得很不错, 我跟你们说, 真不错." + +他陷入了一种自鸣得意的沉默中. + +"打得真不错,"他嘟囔着, 微微笑了笑, 便睡着了. + +特皮克意识到自己的嘴巴还张着. 他闭上了嘴. 桌子旁 +好几位用餐者都在擦眼泪. + +"真是魔法,"齐诺说,"纯粹的魔法. 每一个字都是时光华盖上的流苏." + +"他就是能记住每一个微小的细节. 一清二楚,"伊比德低声说道. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 211 +%passage 9 +"我倒很想留下来, 听你一整天都在听我说话,"他说,"但 +那边有个人我想去见见." + +"真是太神奇了,"恩多斯说着, 匆匆记了一笔, 随即将注意力 +转向桌子那头的一场争论. 一位哲学家断言, 尽管真理即美, 但美却未必 +是真理, 一场争执正在爆发. 恩多斯认真地听着.(1) + +(1) 倾听者的角色从未得到过充分的赏识. 然而, 众所周知, 大多数人 +并不会倾听. 他们只是利用别人说话的时间, 去琢磨自己接下来 +要说什么. 真正的倾听者在口述文化中一直备受尊崇, 并因其稀有 +而备受珍视; 吟游诗人和诗人多如牛毛, 但一个好的倾听者却很难 +找到--或者说, 至少很难找到第二次. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 278 (perhaps ought to end this one with the first paragraph...) +%passage 10 +在火风暴的中心, 大金字塔似乎在一束白炽的光芒中 +抬升了几英寸, 然后旋转了九十度. 这几乎可以肯定是一种 +特殊的光学错觉--即便根本没人亲眼目睹, 它照样能够发生. + +接着, 它以一种极具欺骗性的缓慢和相当的尊严, 爆炸了. + +这个词几乎过于粗俗了. 实际发生的情况是这样的; 它笨重地 +解体为建筑大小的巨块, 彼此缓缓飘离, 安详地飞过墓地的上空. 其中 +几块撞上了其他的金字塔, 以一种懒散而无意识的方式造成了 +严重破坏, 随即默默弹开, 继续前进, 直到在一片碎石小山后面 +犁出一道深沟, 停了下来. + +直到这时, 轰隆声才传来. 它持续了相当长的一段时间. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 280 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 11 +人类从未被期许能理解自己所干涉之物. + + [金字塔, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Guards! Guards! (14) +# p. 283 (ROC edition) +%passage 1 +"我看您在这儿倒是挺自在的,"温斯有气无力地说. + +"永远别建一座你自己都不乐意在里面过夜的地牢,"执政官 +一边说, 一边在布上摆放食物,"要是多些人能记住这个道理, 这个 +世界会变得更美好." + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 133 +%passage 2 +这些在城中并不受鼓励, 因为长弓的箭矢分量重, 射程远, 往往 +能穿透一百码外的无辜路人, 而不是它本该瞄准的那位. + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 26 (first and second paragraphs are actually end of one section, +# start of next one; first 'Thunder rolled...' had three dot +# ellipsis, second has four, ellipsis plus final period-- +# first changed to four here so that they match) +%passage 3 +雷声滚动... + +据说, 神灵们以凡人的命运为游戏. 但那是怎样的游戏, 为何而玩, 真正的棋子是谁, 游戏的内容是什么, 规则又如何--谁知道呢? + +最好不要妄加揣测. + +雷声滚滚... + +它滚出了一个六. + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 48 (passage is a footnote) +%passage 4 +执政官推行的一项卓越创新, 便是让盗贼公会对盗窃行为 +负责——设定年度预算, 前瞻性规划, 而最重要的是, 提供严格的 +岗位保障. 于是, 作为对每年商定犯罪水平的回报, 盗贼们自己便会 +确保, 任何未经授权的犯罪都将遭到不公的全力 +打击--而所谓不公,通常就是一根钉着钉子的棍子. + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 87 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 5 +"呃, 长官," 他说, "我知道龙已经灭绝数千年了, 长官--" + +"是吗?"执政官眯起了眼睛. + +维姆斯硬着头皮继续道:"但长官, 问题是——它们自己知道吗?" [...] + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 114 (passage is a footnote) +%passage 6 +消防员工会在前一年因收到大量投诉而被执政官 +取缔. 问题在于, 如果你向该公会购买了合同, 你的房子 +就会得到防火保护. 不幸的是, 安卡-莫波克人普遍的行事风格 +很快占了上风--消防员们倾向于成群结队地前往潜在 +客户家中, 大声发表诸如"这地方看起来可真够易燃的"以及"只要 +一根不小心掉落的火柴, 它大概就会像烟花一样烧起来, 你明白 +我的意思吧?"之类的评论. + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 131 (Sherlock Holmes) +%passage 7 +一旦你排除了所有不可能, 那么剩下的, 无论多么不可思议, 必定是真相. 问题当然在于弄清楚什么是不可能的--这才是关键所在. + +此外, 还有夜间那只猩猩的奇异事件... + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 150 (Dirty Harry with a small swamp dragon rather than a .45 Magnum...) +%passage 8 +一道绿色的火焰从小棚屋的后方喷射而出, 从暴徒头顶一英尺处 +掠过, 在门框上方的木料上烧出了一枚焦黑的玫瑰花结. + +随即传来一个声音, 那是一种蜜糖般轻柔的咕噜声, 却带着 +纯粹的致命威胁. + +"这位是芒特乔伊·快手·温特福斯四世勋爵, 本城最 +炙手可热的龙. 它能把你的脑袋整个烧掉." + +维姆斯队长从阴影中一瘸一拐地走上前来. + +一只体型小巧吓得魂不附体的金龙被他 +紧紧夹在一只胳膊下. 他的另一只手攥着它的尾巴. + +暴徒们被那龙吸引, 目不转睛地盯着它看. + +"我知道你们现在在想什么,"维姆斯压低声音 +继续道, "你们在琢磨, 经过这么一场大闹, 它还剩多少 +火焰吧? 老实说, 我自己也不太确定..." + +他向前倾身, 目光越过龙的两只耳朵瞄准前方, 声音像刀刃一样嗡嗡作响: + +"你们得问问自己: 我今天运气好吗?" + +他向前逼近, 人群向后晃动着退去. + +"怎么样?"他说,"你们觉得自己运气好吗?" + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 154 (passage is a footnote; ten pages later, Sergeant Colon uses the +# old version of the proverb) +%passage 9 +"以贼捉贼"这句话, 到了此时(在盗贼公会的大力交涉之后), 已经 +取代了一句更为古老更具安卡-莫波克本土特色的谚语, 那句 +谚语是:"挖一个深坑, 坑壁装有弹簧机关, 布设绊索, 配以水力驱动的 +旋转刀刃, 碎玻璃和蝎子, 用来捉贼." + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 174 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 10 +[...] 最富有的人和最穷的乞丐之间没有任何区--除了 +前者拥有大量的金钱, 食物, 权力, 华服和健康之外. 但至少 +他并不比后者"更好".只是更富, 更胖, 更有权势, 穿得更好, 更健康 +罢了. 几百年来一直如此. + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 205 +%passage 11 +"可能只是个无辜的旁观者, 长官."胡萝卜说. + +"什么, 在安卡-莫波克?" + +"是的, 长官." + +"那我们当时就该抓住他, 单凭稀罕劲儿也值了."维姆斯说. + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 262-263 (passage is a footnote; 'practise', 'practised' are accurate) +%passage 12 +安卡-莫波克有不少宗教仍在实行活人献祭--不过它们 +其实已经不需要再"练习"了, 因为它们早已技艺纯熟. 城市法律 +规定, 只能使用已被定罪的罪犯, 但这不成问题, 因为在大多数 +这类宗教中, 拒绝自愿献祭本身就是一项可判处死刑的罪行. + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 292 +%passage 13 +有些时候, 一只猩猩必须去做一个人该做的事... + +那只猩猩行了一个复杂的礼, 随即荡入黑暗之中. + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 299-300 + 325 (final part comes quite a bit later; Carrot is trying to +# alert oblivious Sergeant Colon that the dragon is coming) +%passage 14 +"事情竟到了这地步!"考林咕哝道, "正经女人走在街上 +都免不了被吃掉! 行吧, 你们这帮混蛋, 你们...你们是'地理'--" + +"中士!"胡萝卜再次急促地喊道. + +"是历史, 不是地理."诺比说, "你该说的应该 +是那个. 历史. 你得说'你们成了历史!'" + +"行行, 随便吧."考林没好气地说, "现在看我的--" + +...(过了好一阵子)... + +"你们听见那位的话了."他嘶哑地说, "谁要敢轻举妄动, 你们 +就是...你们就是--"他绝望地奋力一搏--"你们就是家政学!" + + [卫兵! 卫兵!, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# The original publication of /Eric/ featured extensive illustrations by +# Josh Kirby but the mass-market paperback edition contains none of them +# and omits his name. In the Harper Torch edition, the list of other +# books by the same author has "Eric (with Josh Kirby)" even though the +# copyright and title pages of that very book do not mention him. +# +%title Eric (9) +# pp. 3-4 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 1 +没有敌人曾攻占过安卡-莫波克. 好吧, 从技术上来说, 他们 +攻占过, 而且相当频繁; 这座城市欢迎挥金如土的野蛮人 +入侵者, 但不知怎的, 那些困惑的掠夺者总在几天后发现, 他们不再 +拥有自己的马匹了, 而几个月之内, 他们就只是又一个拥有自己的涂鸦 +和食品店的少数族群了. + + [埃里克, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 195 +%passage 2 +"我看见蓝天了!"埃里克说."你觉得我们会从哪儿 +出去?"他又问,"还有, 什么时候?" + +"任何地方,"灵思风说,"任何时间." + +他低头看向他们正在攀登的宽阔台阶. 这些台阶倒是 +新鲜玩意儿; 每一级都是由巨大的石头字母拼成的. 比如他正要 +踩上去的那一级, 上面写着: 我是为你好. + +下一级是: 我以为你会喜欢. + +埃里克正站在: 为了孩子. + +"挺古怪的, 是吧?"他说,"为什么要弄成这样?" + +"我想它们代表的是好意吧,"灵思风说. 这是一条通往 +地狱的路, 而恶魔嘛, 毕竟都是传统主义者. + + [埃里克, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 9-10 (passage has an interesting start but not much of a finish...) +%passage 3 +"这像是闹鬼,"他试探着说, "也许是某种幽灵. 得用上铃铛, 圣经和 +蜡烛那一套." + +财政官叹了口气."我们试过了, 校长." + +校长朝他凑了过去. + +"嗯?"他说. + +"我说, 我们试过了, 校长,"财政官提高嗓门, 把声音对准 +老人的耳朵,"晚饭后, 您记得吗? 我们用了汉普坦珀的 +'蚂蚁之名', 还敲了老汤姆钟."(1) + +"是吗, 我们确实敲了. 管用了吗?" + +"没, 校长." + +"嗯?" + +(1) 老汤姆钟是大学钟楼里那口独一的有裂纹的铜钟. 铸成后 +不久钟舌就掉了, 但这口钟依然每小時敲响一阵极其洪亮的沉默. + + [埃里克, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 14-15 (the top wizards have performed the Rite of AshkEnte) +%passage 4 +死神刻意地从他的镰刀边缘拈掉看不见的碎屑. + +校长把一只布满老茧的手拢在耳朵上. + +"他说什么? 那个拿棍子的家伙是谁?" + +"是死神, 校长,"财政官耐心地说. + +"嗯?" + +"是死神, 先生. 您知道的." + +"告诉他我们不需要," 老巫师挥了挥他的棍子说. + +财政官叹了口气."是我们召唤他来的, 校长." + +"是吗? 我们干嘛要那么做? 真是蠢透了." + +财政官朝死神露出一个尴尬的笑容. 他正想请 +死神原谅校长年事已高, 但随即意识到在这种情况下那完全是白费口舌. + +"我们是在说那个叫灵思风的巫师吗? 就是那个带着--"财政官打了个 +哆嗦--"可怕的, 长着腿的行李箱的家伙? 但在那次巫术事件中他不是 +被炸死了吗?"(1) + +被炸进了地牢维度. 现在他正设法回家. + +(1) 财政官隐晦地指的是那次大学差点导致世界末日的 +棘手事件——事实上, 若不是因为一连串涉及灵思风, 一块魔法飞毯和 +一只袜子里装着半块砖头的事件, 世界确实就毁灭了. (参见巫术) +整件事让巫师们非常难堪, 就像所有事后才发现自己一直 +站在错误一方的人一样(2); 值得注意的是, 大学里有多少高级教员 +现在都坚称, 当时他们要么在请病假, 要么在探望姑妈, 要么锁着门 +哼哼唧唧地做研究, 完全不知道外面发生了什么. 曾经有人三三两两地 +议论过要给灵思风立一座雕像, 但经由那些在敏感问题上惯常出现的 +奇异化学反应, 这很快变成了一块牌匾, 然后变成荣誉榜上的一条 +注记, 最后变成了一项因穿着不当而提出的谴责动议. + +(2) 也就是, 输了的那一方. + + [埃里克, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 34 +%passage 5 +"倒也不是说他特别成功. 那一切都有点像瞎试胡搞, 还有那个什么来着." + +"我还以为你说的是那种又大又吓人的鳞--" + +"哦, 是. 但那不是他想要的. 他试图召唤的是一个 +魅魔."按理说, 光有一张鸟喙是没法露出淫笑的, 但这只 +鹦鹉做到了."那是一种女恶魔, 夜里会来找你, 跟你干那种 +干柴烈火的什么--" + +"我听说过它们,"灵思风说, "该死地危险的东西." + +鹦鹉歪了歪脑袋. "从来没成功过. 他召来的一直都是个头痛魔." + +"那是什么?" + +"那是一种恶魔, 它会来找你, 然后冲你发作头痛." + + [埃里克, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 35 (passage is a footnote) +%passage 6 +恶魔和他们的地狱, 与地牢维度截然不同--那是 +时空之外无尽而平行的荒原. 地牢维度里那些悲哀而疯狂之物, 对 +世界全无理解, 只是渴求光明与形态, 试图在现实的火焰边取暖: 它们 +簇拥在现实周围, 其效果--倘若它们真能突破进来--大约就像是 +一片汪洋试图围着一根蜡烛取暖. 而恶魔则或多或少与人类同属 +一个时空那什么玩意儿, 并且对人类的日常事务抱有深切而持久的 +兴趣. 有趣的是, 碟形世界的众神向来不怎么费心去审判死者的 +灵魂, 所以人只有在自己内心深处深信自己活该下地狱时, 才会去到 +地狱. 而如果他们根本不知道地狱的存在, 就不会去那里. 这就解释了 +为什么见到传教士就立即射杀是件很重要的事. + + [埃里克, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 153 +%passage 7 +"多个感叹号,"他摇摇头继续说道, "绝对是精神错乱的标志." + + [埃里克, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 178-179 (Ponce da Quirm, encountered in hell) +%passage 8 +"这么说, 你没找到青春之泉咯?"他说, 觉得自己该找点话说说. + +"哦, 可我找到了,"达·奎姆诚恳地说, "一泓清澈的泉水, 在丛林 +深处. 那景象非常壮观. 我还痛痛快快地喝了一大口呢. 或者 +说饮了一大口, 我觉得这个词更合适." + +"然后呢--?"灵思风说. + +"确实管用了. 没错. 有那么一阵子, 我能清楚地感觉到自己在变年轻." + +"但是--"灵思风含含糊糊地挥了挥手, 指了指达·奎姆那台踏车, 以及 +深渊地狱那层层高耸的环形圈. + +"啊,"老人说, "当然, 这才是最让人恼火的地方. 我读过那么多关于 +青春之泉的书, 你肯定会觉得, 那么多书里总该有人提到那泉水 +最关键的一点吧, 你不觉得吗?" + +"那就是--?" + +"得先烧开. 这就说明一切了, 不是吗? 真是太可惜了." + + [埃里克, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# p. 179 +%passage 9 +行李箱沿着那条连接深渊地狱各层环形圈的螺旋大路小跑而下. 即使 +在正常情况下, 它大概也不会引起太多注意. 如果说起来, 它比 +那里大多数居民还要不那么令人吃惊. + + [埃里克, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Moving Pictures (16) +# p. 7 (ROC Edition) +%passage 1 +This is space. It's sometimes called the final frontier. + +(Except that of course you can't have a /final/ frontier, because there'd +be nothing for it to be a frontier /to/, but as frontiers go, it's pretty +penultimate...) + + [搬电影, 特里·普拉切特 著] +%e passage +# pp. 22-23 (very short but happens to span a page boundary...) +%passage 2 +By and large, the only skill the alchemists of Ankh-Morpork had discovered +so far was the ability to turn gold into less gold. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 44, 45, 46 (multiple paragraphs skipped in the first two gaps; +# the dog is Gaspode, who can talk but conceals that from +# almost everybody; his use of 'bin' for 'been' is accurate) +%passage 3 +He looked down. There was a dog sitting by his feet. + +It was small, bow-legged and wiry, and basically grey but with patches of +brown, white, and black in outlying areas, and it was staring. + +It was certainly the most penetrating stare Victor had ever seen. It +wasn't menacing, or fawning. It was just very slow and very thorough, as +though the dog was memorising details so that it could give a full +description to the authorities later. + +[...] + +Victor let his gaze slide downwards. There was nothing there but the little +dog, industriously scratching itself. It looked up slowly, and said "Woof?" + +[...] + +Victor poked an exploratory finger in his ear. It must have been a trick +of an echo, or something. It wasn't that the dog had gone "woof!", although +that was practically unique in itself; most dogs in the universe /never/ +went "woof!", they had complicated barks like "whuuugh!" and "hwhoouf!". +No, it was that it hadn't in fact /barked/ at all. It had /said/ "woof". + +[...] + +One of the last things Victor remembered was a voice beside his knee saying, +"Could have bin worse, mister. I could have said 'miaow'." + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 322 +%passage 4 +"'Twas beauty killed the beast," said the Dean, who liked to say things +like that. + +"No it wasn't," said the Chair. "It was it splatting into the ground like +that." + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 12 +%passage 5 +There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork, greatest of Discworld +cities. + +At least, there's a /saying/ that there's a saying that all roads lead to +Ankh-Morpork. + +And it's wrong. All roads lead /away/ from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes +people just walk along them the wrong way. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 34 (Victor Tugelbend and Ponder Stibbons are students at Unseen Uni.) +%passage 6 +"Rain's stopped. Let's go over the wall," he said. "We deserve a drink." + +Victor waggled a finger. "Just one drink, then. Got to keep sober," he +said. "It's Finals tomorrow. Got to keep a clear head!" + +"Huh!", said Ponder. + +Of course, it's very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many +worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar- +playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this +simple fact. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 37 +%passage 7 +In a sense which his tutors couldn't quite define, much to their annoyance, +Victor Tugelbend was also the laziest person in the history of the world. + +Not simply, ordinarily lazy. Ordinary laziness was merely the absence of +effort. Victor had passed through there a long time ago, had gone straight +through commonplace idleness and out on the far side. He put more effort +into avoiding work than most people put into hard labour. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 60 +%passage 8 +Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler was one of those rare people with the ability to +think in straight lines. + +Most people think in curves and zig-zags. For example, they start with a +thought like: I wonder how I can become very rich, and then proceed along +an uncertain course which includes thoughts like: I wonder what's for +supper, and: I wonder who I know that can lend me five dollars? + +Whereas Throat was one of those people who could identify the thought at the +other end of the process, in this case /I am now very rich/, draw a line +between the two, and then think his way along it, slowly and patiently, +until he got to the other end. + +Not that it worked. There was always, he found, some small but vital flaw +in the process. It generally involved a strange reluctance on the part of +people to buy what he had to sell. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 71-72 +%passage 9 +"Tell me, Mr Dibbler." said Silverfish, "what exactly is your profession?" + +"I sell merchandise," said Dibbler. + +"Mostly sausages," Victor volunteered. + +"/And/ merchandise," said Dibbler, sharply. "I only sell sausages when the +merchandising trade is a bit slow." + +"And the sale of sausages leads you to believe you can make better moving +pictures?" said Silverfish. "Anyone can sell sausages! Isn't that so, +Victor?" + +"Well..." said Victor, reluctantly. No-one except Dibbler could possibly +sell Dibbler's sausages. + +"There you are then," said Silverfish. + +"The thing is," said Victor, "that Mr Dibbler can even sell sausages to +people who have bought them off him /before/." + +"That's right!" said Dibbler. He beamed at Victor. + +"And a man who could sell Mr Dibbler's sausages twice could sell anything," +said Victor. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 111-112 ('dis', 'ort', 'yore', 'finking', 'mayonnaisey', 'specialitay', +# 'de lar mayson' all accurate) +%passage 10 +Borgle's commissary had decided to experiment with salads tonight. The +nearest salad growing district was thirty slow miles away. + +"What dis?" demanded a troll, holding up something limp and brown. + +Fruntkin the short-order chef hazarded a guess. + +"Celery?" he said. He peered closer. "Yeah, celery." + +"It /brown/." + +"'S'right. 'S'right! Ripe celery ort to be brown," said Fruntkin, quickly. +"Shows it's ripe," he added. + +"It should be /green/." + +"Nah. Yore finking about the tomatoes," said Fruntkin. + +"Yeah, and what's this runny stuff?" said a man in the queue. + +Fruntkin drew himself up to his full height. + +"That," he said, "is the mayonnaisey. Made it myself. Out of a /book/, he +added proudly. + +"Yead, I expect you did," said the man, prodding it. "Clearly oil, eggs +and vinegar were not involved, right?" + +"Specialitay de lar mayson," said Fruntkin. + +"Right, right," said the man. "Only it's attacking my lettuce." + +Fruntkin grasped his ladle angrily. + +"Look--" he began. + +"No, it's all right," said the prospective diner. "The slugs have formed a +defensive ring." + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 137 (CMOT Dibbler has become a director, Rock is a troll actor) +%passage 11 +"Er, I was just wondering, Mr Dibbler... what is my motivation for this +scene?" + +"Motivation?" + +"Yes. Er. I got to know, see," said Rock. + +"How about: I'll fire you if you don't do it properly?" + +Rock grinned. "Right you are, Mr Dibbler," he said. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 189 +%passage 12 +Magic wasn't difficult. That was the big secret that the whole baroque +edifice of wizardry had been set up to conceal. Anyone with a bit of +intelligence and enough perseverance could do magic, which was why the +wizards cloaked it with rituals and the whole pointy-hat business. + +The trick was to do magic and /get away with it/. + +Because it was as if the human race was a field of corn and magic helped +the users grow just that bit taller, so that they stood out. That +attracted the attention of gods and--Victor hesitated--other Things outside +this world. People who used magic without knowing what they were doing +usually came to a sticky end. + +All over the entire room, sometimes. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 204 (passage ends mid-paragraph; musings are by Gaspode the dog; +# 'sunnink', 'fings', 'wot' are accurate, as is 'finds' for 'find') +%passage 13 +Sunnink dreadful in there, he thought. Prob'ly tentacled fings that rips +your face off. I mean, when you finds mysterious doors in old hills, it +stands to reason wot comes out ain't going to be pleased to see you. Evil +creatures wot Man shouldn't wot of, and here's one dog wot don't want to +wot of them either. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 206-207 (passage starts mid-paragraph; Dibbler now controls Silverfish's +# moving pictures studio; Detritus isn't part of the Watch yet) +%passage 14 +"[...] Detritus, throw this bum out!" + +"Right you are, Mr Dibbler," rumbled the troll, gripping Silverfish's +collar. + +"You haven't heard the last of this, you--you scheming, devious +megalomaniac!" + +Dibbler removed his cigar. + +"That's /Mister/ Megalomaniac to you," he said. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 274 (passage starts mid-sentence; senior wizards of the University are +# attending a 'click' and have decided to take their hats off...) +%passage 15 +[...] inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 295 (passage starts mid-sentence; the movie theater owner's daughter +# is playing a pipe organ to accompany the silent movie) +%passage 16 +[...] whatever piece of music she was playing, it was definitely losing. + + [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# New for 5.0 - these are worthy but 16 passages are already more than enough. +#-# +#-# p. 304 +#-%passage 17 +#-"Did I hear things, or can that little dog speak?" said Dibbler. +#- +#-"He says he can't," said Victor. +#- +#-Dibbler hesitated. The excitement was unhinging him a little. "Well," he +#-said, "I suppose he should know." +#- +#- [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +#-%e passage +#-# p. 329 (two farmers have just watched a pair of wizards incompetently +#-# flying together on a broom crash into a barn containing harvested +#-# cabbages; one of them had predicted, accurately as it turned out, +#-# that the flyers would crash out the far side accompanied by +#-# scattering chickens and a shower of feathers; 'believer' had +#-# scoffed at the prediction because there were no chickens inside; +#-# they've just looked inside and confirmed the lack of any poultry) +#-%passage 18 +#-The farmers crept away. +#- +#-"Dang me," said the believer in cabbages. "They're wizards. Best not to +#-meddle in the affairs of danged wizards." +#- +#-"Yeah," said the other farmer. "Er... what does dang mean? Exactly?" +#- +#- [Moving Pictures, by Terry Pratchett] +#-%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Reaper Man (15) +# pp. 301-302 (ROC edition) +%passage 1 +It was later that the story of Windle Poons really came to an end, if +"story" means all that he did and caused and set in motion. In the Ramtop +villages where they dance the real Morris dance, for example, they believe +that no one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die +away--until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has +finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span +of someone's life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 251 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 2 +Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 305 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 3 +Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter +how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, +and is waiting for it. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 245 +%passage 4 +"That's not fair, you know. If we knew when we were going to die, people +would lead better lives." + +IF PEOPLE KNEW WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO DIE, I THINK THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T +LIVE AT ALL. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 19 +%passage 5 +YOU FEAR TO DIE? + +"It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always... it's just that life +is a habit that's hard to break..." + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 30-31 +%passage 6 +Wizards don't believe in gods in the same way that most people don't find it +necessary to believe in, say, tables. They know they're there, they know +they're there for a purpose, they'd probably agree that they have a place in +a well-organized universe, but they wouldn't see the point of /believing/, +of going around saying, "O great table, without whom we are as naught". +Anyway, either the gods are there whether you believe or not, or exist only +as a function of the belief, so either way you might as well ignore the +whole business and, as it were, eat off your knees. + +Nevertheless, there is a small chapel off the University's Great Hall, +because while the wizards stand right behind the philosophy as outlined +above, you don't become a successful wizard by getting up gods' noses even +if those noses only exist in an ethereal or metaphorical sense. Because +while wizards don't believe in gods they know for a fact that /gods/ believe +in gods. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 50 (Dibbler is so low because he's on steps leading down to a cellar; +# 'favour' and 'pedlar' are the spelling used) +%passage 7 +"Sergeant!" + +Colon froze. Then he looked down. A face was staring up at him from ground +level. When he'd got a grip on himself, he made out the sharp features of +his old friend Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, the Discworld's walking, talking +argument in favour of the theory that mankind had descended from a species +of rodent. C. M. O. T. Dibbler like to describe himself as a merchant +adventurer; everyone else liked to describe him as itinerant pedlar whose +moneymaking schemes were always let down by some small but vital flaw, such +as trying to sell things he didn't own or which didn't work or, sometimes, +didn't even exist. Fairy gold is well known to evaporate by morning, but +it was a reinforced concrete slab by comparison to some of Dibbler's +merchandise. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 58-59 +%passage 8 +Over the fireplace was an ornamental candlestick, fixed to a bracket on the +wall. It was such a familiar piece of furniture that Windle hadn't really +seen it for fifty years. + +It was coming unscrewed. It spun around slowly, squeaking once a turn. +After half a dozen turns it fell off and clattered to the floor. + +Inexplicable phenomena were not in themselves unusual on the Discworld.(1) +It was just that they normally had more point, or at least were a bit more +interesting. + +(1) Rains of fish, for example, were so common in the little land-locked +village of Pine Dressers that it had a flourishing smoking, canning and +kipper filleting industry. And in the mountain regions of Syrrit many +sheep, left out in the fields all night, would be found in the morning to +/be facing the other way/, without the apparent intervention of any human +agency. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 68-69 (130 year old wizard Windle Poon has become a zombie after dying) +%passage 9 +"And now let's put the lid on and go and have some lunch," said Ridcully. +"Don't worry, Windle. It's bound to work. Today is the last day of the +rest of your life." + +Windle lay in the darkness, listening to the hammering. There was a thump +and a muffled imprecation against the Dean for not holding the end properly. +And then the patter of soil on the lid, getting fainter and more distant. + +After a while a distant rumbling suggested that the commerce of the city +was being resumed. He could even hear muffled voices. + +He banged on the coffin lid. + +"Can you keep it down?" he demanded. "There's people down here trying to +be dead!" + +He heard the voices stop. There was the sound of feet hurrying away. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 81-82 (things have stopped dying because Death is no longer on the job) +%passage 10 +Everything that exists, yearns to live. That's what the cycle of life is +all about. That's the engine that drives the great biological pumps of +evolution. Everything tries to inch its way up the tree, clawing or +tentacling or sliming its way up to the next niche until it gets to the +very top--which, on the whole, never seems to have been worth all the +effort. + +Everything that exists, yearns to live. Even things that are not alive. +Things that have a kind of sub-life, a metaphorical life, an /almost/ life. +And now, in the same way that a sudden hot spell brings forth unnatural and +exotic blooms... + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 101 +%passage 11 +Dead. That was the point. All the religions had very strong views about +talking to the dead. And so did Mrs Cake. They held that it was sinful. +Mrs Cake held that it was only common courtesy. + +This usually led to a fierce ecclesiastical debate which resulted in Mrs +Cake giving the chief priest what she called "a piece of her mind". There +were so many pieces of Mrs Cake's mind left around the city now that it +was quite surprising that there was enough left to power Mrs Cake but, +strangely enough, the more pieces of her mind she gave away the more there +seemed to be left. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 222 +%passage 12 +"No--" Ridcully began, and realised that it was hopeless. And he was losing +the initiative. He carefully formulated the most genteel battle cry in the +history of bowdlerism, + +"Darn them to Heck!" he yelled, and ran after the Dean. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 226 +%passage 13 +Miss Flitworth disappeared into the scullery. There was the creaking of a +pump. She returned with a damp flannel and a glass of water. + +THERE'S A NEWT IN IT! + +"Shows it's fresh," said Miss Flitworth,(1) fishing the amphibian out and +releasing it on the flagstones, where it scuttled away into a crack. + +(1) People have believed for hundreds of years that newts in a well mean +that the water's fresh and drinkable, and /in all that time/ never asked +themselves whether the newts got out to go to the lavatory. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 247 +%passage 14 +"Have you got any last words?" + +YES. I DON'T WANT TO GO. + +"Well. Succinct, anyway." + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 249-250 +%passage 15 +"Where's everyone gone, Librarian?" + +"Oook oook." + +"Just like them. I'd have done that. Rush off without thinking. May the +gods bless them and help them, if they can find the time from their family +squabbles." + +And then he thought: well, what now? I've thought, and what am I going to +do? + +Rush off, or course, But slowly. + + [Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Witches Abroad (14) +# p. 92 (ROC edition) +%passage 1 +Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave and the crypt, but have never +managed it from the cat. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 12-13 +%passage 2 +Desiderata Hollow was making her will. + +When Desiderata Hollow was a girl, her grandmother had given her four +important pieces of advice to guide her young footsteps on the unexpectedly +twisting pathway of life. + +They were: + +Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows, + +Always get the young man's name and address, + +Never get between two mirrors, + +And always wear completely clean underwear every day because you never knew +when you were going to be knocked down and killed by a runaway horse and if +people found you had unsatisfactory underwear on, you'd die of shame. + +And then Desiderata grew up to become a witch. And one of the minor +benefits of being a witch is that you know exactly when you're going to die +and can wear what underwear you like.(1) + +That had been eighty years earlier, when the idea of knowing exactly when +you were going to die had seemed quite attractive because secretly, of +course, you knew you were going to live forever. + +That was then. + +And this was now. + +Forever didn't seem to last as long these days as once it did. + +(1) Which explains a lot about witches. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 64 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 3 +"You know," said Nanny, investigating the recesses of the basket, "whenever +I deals with dwarfs, the phrase 'Duck's arse' swims across my mind." + +"Mean little devils. You should see the prices they tries to charge me +when I takes my broom to be repaired," said Granny. + +"Yes, but you never pay," said Magrat. + +"That's not the point," said Granny Weatherwax. "They shouldn't be allowed +to charge that sort of money. That's thievin', that is." + +"I don't see how it can be thieving if you don't pay anyway," said Magrat. + +"I never pay for anything," said Granny. [...] + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 93 (passage is a footnote) +%passage 4 +Nanny Ogg sent a number of cards home to her family, not a single one of +which got back before she did. This is traditional, and happens everywhere +in the universe. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 118-119 (Magrat has been teaching herself martial arts via books) +%passage 5 +"Lobsang Dibbler says sometimes you have to lose in order to win," said +Magrat. + +"Sounds daft to me," said Nanny. "That's Yen Buddhism, is it?" + +"No. They're the ones who say you have to have lots of money to win," said +Magrat.(1) "In the Path of the Scorpion, the way to win is to lose every +fight except the last one. You use the enemy's strength against himself." + +"What, you get him to hit himself, sort of thing?" said Nanny. "Sounds +daft." + +(1) The Yen Buddhists are the richest religious sect in the universe. They +hold that the accumulation of money is a great evil and burden to the soul. +They therefore, regardless of personal hazard, see it as their unpleasant +duty to acquire as much as possible to reduce the risk to innocent people. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 131 +%passage 6 +They had breakfast in a forest clearing. It was grilled pumpkin. The dwarf +bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf +bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. +You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of +dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots for example. Mountains. Raw +sheep. Your own foot. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 194-195 ("he just" is accurate; cockerel == adolescent rooster) +%passage 7 +"This is Legba, a dark and dangerous spirit," said Mrs. Gogol. She leaned +closer and spoke out of the corner of her mouth. "Between you and me, he +just a big black cockerel. But you know how it is." + +"It pays to advertise," Nanny agreed. "This is Greebo. Between you and me, +he's a fiend from hell." + +"Well, he's a cat," said Mrs. Gogol, generously. "It's only to be expected." + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 218 +%passage 8 +"/And/ still a bit of the wedding cake," said the first coachman. "Ain't +you et that up yet?" + +"We have it every night," said the undercoachman. + +The shed shook with the ensuing laughter. It is a universal fact that any +innocent comment made by any recently married young member of any workforce +is an instant trigger for coarse merriment among his or her older and more +cynical colleagues. This happens even if everyone concerned has nine legs +and lives at the bottom of an ocean of ammonia on a huge cold planet. It's +just one of those things. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 228 +%passage 9 +"You ought to be more adventurous, Granny," said Magrat. + +"I ain't against adventure, in moderation," said Granny, "but not when I'm +eatin'." + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 263-264 (Nanny is trying to stop an elaborate clock; despite damage +# inflicted on it, it goes on to announce midnight [early]) +%passage 10 +Let's see thought Nanny. This bit is connected to that bit, this one turns, +that one turns /faster/, this spiky bit wobbles backwards and forwards... + +Oh, well. Just twist the first thing you can grab, as the High Priest said +to the vestal virgin.(1) + +Nanny Ogg spat on her hands, gripped the largest cog-wheel, and twisted. + +It carried on turning, pulling her with it. + +Blimey. Oh, well... + +Then she did what neither Granny Weatherwax nor Magrat would have dreamed +of doing in the circumstances. But Nanny Ogg's voyages on the sea of +intersexual dalliance had gone rather further than twice around the +lighthouse, and she saw nothing demeaning in getting a man to help her. + +She simpered at Casanunda. + +"Things would be a lot more comfortable in our little /pie-de-terre/ if you +could just push this little wheel around a bit," she said. "I'm sure /you/ +could manage it," she added. + +"Oh, no problem, good lady," said Casanunda. He reached up with one hand. +Dwarfs are immensely strong for their size. The wheel seemed to offer him +no resistance at all. + +Somewhere in the mechanism something resisted for a moment and then went +/clonk/. Big wheels turned reluctantly. Little wheels screamed on their +axles. A small important piece flew out and pinged off of Casanunda's +small bullet head. + +And, much faster than nature had ever intended, the hands sped around the +face. + +(1) This is the last line to a Discworld joke lost, alas, to posterity. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 265 ('pate' has a couple of accent marks which can't be rendered in ascii) +%passage 11 +There are various forms of voodoo in the multiverse, because it's a +religion that can be put together from any ingredients that happen to be +lying around. And all of them try, in some way, to call a god into the body +of a human being. + +That was stupid, Mrs. Gogol thought. That was dangerous. + +Mrs. Gogol's voodoo worked the other way about. What was a god? A focus of +belief. If people believed, a god began to grow. Feebly at first, but if +the swamp taught anything, it taught patience. Anything could be the focus +of a god. A handful of feathers with a red ribbon around them, a hat and +coat on a couple of sticks... anything. Because when all people had was +practically nothing, then anything could be almost everything. And then you +fed it, and lulled it, like a goose heading for pate, and let the power grow +very slowly, and when the time was ripe you opened the path... backwards. +A human could ride the god, rather than the other way around. There would +be a price to pay later, but there always was. In Mrs. Gogol's experience, +everyone ended up dying. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 270 (Greebo has been temporarily transformed--polymorphed?--into a human) +%passage 12 +Greebo wasn't a happy cat. [...] + +Then he'd smelled the kitchen. Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks +gravitate to gravity. + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 282 (Casanunda the dwarf is Discworld's Casanova; he appears again in +# /Lords and Ladies/) +%passage 13 +"How come you're in the palace guard, Casanunda?" + +"Soldier of fortune takes whatever jobs are going, Mrs. Ogg," said Casanunda +earnestly. + +"But all the rest of 'em are six foot tall and you're--of the shorter +persuasion." + +"I lied about my height, Mrs. Ogg. I'm a world-famous liar." + +"Is that true?" + +"No." + +"What about you being the world's greatest lover?" + +There was silence for a while. + +"Well, maybe I'm only No. 2," said Casanunda. "But I try harder." + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 285-286 (Greebo is still in human form; 'rationalise' is accurate) +%passage 14 +Greebo leapt. + +Cats are like witches. They don't fight to kill, but to win. There is a +difference. There's no point in killing an opponent. That way, they won't +know they've lost, and to be a real winner you have to have an opponent who +is beaten and knows it. There's no triumph over a corpse, but a beaten +opponent, who will remain beaten every day for the remainder of their sad +and wretched life, is something to treasure. + +Cats do not, of course, rationalise this far. They just like to send +someone limping off minus a tail and a few square inches of fur. + +Greebo's technique was unscientific and wouldn't have stood a chance against +any decent swordsmanship, but on his side was the fact that it is almost +impossible to develop decent swordsmanship when you seem to have run into a +food mixer that is biting your ear off. + +The witches watched with interest. + +"I think we can leave him now," said Nanny. "I think he's having fun." + + [Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Small Gods (15) +# p. 174 (Harper Torch edition; passage starts mid-paragraph; speaker is +# the blind philosopher Didactylos referring to a book in scroll +# form called /On Religion/ by another philosopher, Abraxas; +# Didactylos mentions that Old 'Charcoal' Abraxas had been hit by +# lightning 15 times) +%passage 1 +"[...] He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something +to aim at." + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 79 (passage starts mid-paragraph; speaker is Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off Dhblah) +%passage 2 +[...] "Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of +starvation too, o'course." + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 3 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 3 +So history has its caretakers. + +They live ... well, in the nature of things they live wherever they are +sent, but their /spiritual/ home is in a hidden valley in the high Ramtops +of the Discworld, where the books of history are kept. + +These aren't books in which the events of the past are pinned like so many +butterflies to a cork. These are the books from which history is derived. +There are more than twenty thousand of them, each one is ten feet high, +bound in lead, and the letters are so small that they have to be read with +a magnifying glass. + +When people say "It is written ..." it is written /here/. + +There are fewer metaphors than people think. + +Every month the abbot and two senior monks go into the cave where the +books are kept. It used to be the duty of the abbot alone, but two other +reliable monks were included after the unfortunate case of the 59th Abbot, +who made a million dollars in small bets before his fellow monks caught up +with him. + +Besides, it's dangerous to go in alone. The sheer concentratedness of +History, sleeting past soundlessly out into the world, can be overwhelming. +Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 4-5 +%passage 4 +It was the Year of the Notional Serpent, or two hundred years after the +Declaration of the Prophet Abbys. + +Which meant that the time of the 8th Prophet was imminent. + +That was the reliable thing about the Church of the Great God Om. It had +very punctual prophets. You could set your calendar by them, if you had +one big enough. + +And, as is generally the case around the time a prophet is expected, the +Church redoubled its efforts to be holy. This was very much like the +bustle you get in any large concern when the auditors are expected, but +tended towards taking people suspected of being less holy and putting them +to death in a hundred ingenious ways. This is considered a reliable +barometer of the state of one's piety in most of the really popular +religions. There's a tendency to declare that there is more backsliding +around than in the national toboggan championships, that heresy must be +torn out root and branch, and even arm and leg and eye and tongue, and +that it's time to wipe the slate clean. Blood is generally considered +very efficient for this purpose. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 60 ("he" is a tortoise, unnoticed among a large crowd of people) +%passage 5 +He walked off slowly, keeping close to the wall to avoid the feet. He had +no alternative to walking slowly in any case, but now he was walking slowly +because he was thinking. Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the +same time. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 60 (same page as preceding passage) +%passage 6 +There were all sorts of ways to petition the Great God, but they depended +largely on how much you could afford, which was right and proper and +exactly how things should be. After all, those who had achieved success +in the world clearly had done it with the approval of the Great God, +because it was impossible to believe that they had managed it with His +/disapproval/. In the same way, the Quisition could act without +possibility of flaw. Suspicion was proof. How could it be anything else? +The Great God would not have seen fit to put the suspicion in the minds +of His exquisitors unless it was /right/ that it should be there. Life +could be very simple, if you believed in the Great God Om. And sometimes +quite short, too. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 92 ([sic] first paragraph ought to have fourth '.' to end sentence) +%passage 7 +The memory stole over him: a desert is what you think it is. And now, +you can think clearly ... + +There were no lies here. All fancies fled away. That's what happened in +all deserts. It was just you, and what you believed. + +What have I always believed? + +That on the whole, and by and large, if a man lived properly, not +according to what any priests said, but according to what seemed decent +and honest /inside/, then it would, in the end, more or less, turn out +all right. + +You couldn't get that on a banner. But the desert looked better already. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 114 +%passage 8 +Vorbis had a cabin somewhere near the bilges, where the air was as thick +as thin soup. Brutha knocked. + +"Enter."(1) + +(1) Words are the litmus paper of the mind. If you find yourself in the +power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go +somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter," don't stop to pack. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 141 (at the end, Xeno is almost certainly agreeing with Ibid, but +# he /might/ be answering Brutha's last question) +%passage 9 +"Are you all philosophers?" said Brutha. + +The one called Xeno stepped forward, adjusting the hang of his toga. + +"That's right," he said. "We're philosophers. We think, therefore we am." + +"Are," said the luckless paradox manufacturer automatically. + +Xeno spun around. "I've just about had it up to /here/ with you, Ibid!" he +roared. He turned back to Brutha. "We /are/, therefore we am," he said +confidently. "That's it." + +Several of the philosophers looked at one another with interest. + +"That's actually quite interesting," one said. "The evidence of our +existence is the /fact/ of our existence, is that what you're saying?" + +"Shut up," said Xeno, without looking around. + +"Have you been fighting?" said Brutha. + +The assembled philosophers assumed various expressions of shock and horror. + +"Fighting? Us? We're /philosophers/," said Ibid, shocked. + +"My word, yes," said Xeno. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 151 +%passage 10 +All over the world there were rulers with titles like the Exalted, the +Supreme, and Lord High Something or Other. Only in one small country was +the ruler elected by the people, who could remove him whenever they +wanted--and they called him the Tyrant. + +The Ephebians believed that every man should have the vote.(1) Every five +years someone was elected to be Tyrant, provided he could prove that he +was honest, intelligent, sensible, and trustworthy. Immediately after he +was elected, of course, it was obvious to everyone that he was a criminal +madman and totally out of touch with the view of the ordinary philosopher +in the street looking for a towel. And then five years later they elected +another one just like him, and really it was amazing how intelligent +people kept on making the same mistakes. + +(1) Provided that he wasn't poor, foreign, nor disqualified by reason of +being mad, frivolous, or a woman. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 239 +%passage 11 +"I still don't see how one god can be a hundred different thunder gods. +They all look different ..." + +"False noses." + +"What?" + +"And different voices. I happen to know Io's got seventy different hammers. +Not common knowledge, that. And it's just the same with mother goddesses. +There's only one of 'em. She just got a lot of wigs and of course it's +amazing what you can do with a padded bra." + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 265 +%passage 12 +An hour later the lion, who was limping after Brutha, also arrived at the +grave. It had lived in the desert for sixteen years, and the reason it had +lived so long was that it had not died, and it had not died because it +never wasted handy protein. It dug. + +Humans have always wasted handy protein ever since they started wondering +who had lived in it. + +But, on the whole, there are worse places to be buried than inside a lion. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 3 more passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 7 (Brother Nhumrod is in charge of a group of novices; he's thinking +# about one of them, Brutha, the main character of the story) +%passage 13 +There was something creepy about the boy, Nhumrod thought. It was the way +he looked at you when you were talking, as if he was /listening/. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 11 (musing by the Great God Om) +%passage 14 +The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to. + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 210 (speaker is Didactylos the Ephebian philosopher) +%passage 15 +"Life in this world," he said, "is, as it were, a sojourn in a cave. What +can we know of reality? For all we see of the true nature of existence +is, shall we say, no more than bewildering and amusing shadows cast upon +the inner wall of the cave by the unseen blinding light of absolute truth, +from which we may or may not deduce some glimmer of veracity, and we as +troglodyte seekers of wisdom can only lift our voices to the unseen and +say, humbly, 'Go on, do Deformed Rabbit... it's my favorite.'" + + [Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Lords and Ladies (13) +# p. 122 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 1 +Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. +Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. +Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies. +Elves are glamorous. They project glamour. +Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment. +Elves are terrific. They beget terror. + +The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, +and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have +changed their meaning. + +No one ever said elves are nice. + +Elves are bad. + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 32 (Magrat has given up being a witch to marry Verence II, Lancre's king) +%passage 2 +"Hope she does all right as queen," said Nanny. + +"We taught her everything she knows," said Granny Weatherwax. + +"Yeah," said Nanny Ogg, as they disappeared into the bracken. "D'you +think... maybe... ?" + +"What?" + +"D'you think maybe we ought to have taught her everything /we/ know?" + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 36 +%passage 3 +It was very hard, being a reader in Invisible Writings.(1) + +(1) The study of invisible writings was a new discipline made available by +the discovery of the bi-directional nature of Library-Space. The thaumic +mathematics are complex, but boil down to the fact that all books, +everywhere, affect all other books. This is obvious: books inspire +other books written in the future, and cite books written in the past. +But the General Theory(2) of L-Space suggests that, in that case, the +contents of books /as yet unwritten/ can be deduced from books now in +existence. + +(2) There's a Special Theory as well, but no one bothers with it much +because it's self-evidently a load of marsh gas. + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 51 +%passage 4 +"Don't hold with schools," said Granny Weatherwax. "They get in the way +of education. All them books. Books? What good are they? There's too +much reading these days. We never had time to read when we was young, I +know that." + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 79-80 +%passage 5 +The highwayman stepped over the groaning body of the driver and marched +toward the door of the coach, dragging his stepladder behind him. + +He opened the door. + +"Your money or, I'm sorry to say, your--" + +A blast of octarine fire blew his hat off. + +The dwarf's expression did not change. + +"I wonder if I might be allowed to rephrase my demands?" + +Ridcully looked the elegantly dressed stranger up and down, or rather +down and further down. + +"You don't look like a dwarf," he said, "apart from the height, that is." + +"Don't look like a dwarf apart from the height?" + +"I mean, the helmet and iron boots department is among those you are lacking +in," said Ridcully. + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 95 +%passage 6 +What is magic? + +There is the wizards' explanation, which comes in two forms, depending on +the age of the wizard. Older wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, +stars, bananas, chants, runes, and the importance of having at least four +good meals every day. Younger wizards, particularly the pale ones who +spend most of their time in the High Energy Magic building,(1) chatter at +length about fluxes in the morphic nature of the universe, the essentially +impermanent quality of even the most apparently rigid time-space framework, +the impossibility of reality, and so on: what this means is that they have +got hold of something hot and are gabbling the physics as they go along. + +(1) It was here that the thaum, hitherto believed to be the smallest +possible particle of magic, was successfully demonstrated to be made up of +/resons/(2) or reality fragments. Currently research indicates that each +reson is itself made up of a combination of at least five "flavors," +known as "up," "down," "sideways," "sex appeal," and "peppermint." + +(2) Lit: "Thing-ies." + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 107 +%passage 7 +What is magic? + +Then there is the witches' explanation, which comes in two forms, depending +on the age of the witch. Older witches hardly put words to it at all, but +may suspect in their hearts that the universe really doesn't know what the +hell is going on and consists of a zillion trillion billion possibilities, +and could become any of them if a trained mind rigid with quantum certainty +was inserted in the crack and /twisted/; that, if you really had to make +someone's hat explode, all you needed to do was /twist/ into the universe +where a large number of hat molecules all decide at the same time to bounce +off in different directions. + +Younger witches, on the other hand, talk about it all the time and believe +it involves crystals, mystic forces, and dancing about without yer drawers +on. + +Everyone may be right, all at the same time. That's the thing about +quantum. + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 114; 'colorful' & 'humor' are spelled the American way, 'or' not 'our' +%passage 8 +He knocked on the coach door. The window slid down. + +"I wouldn't like you to think of this as a robbery," he said. "I'd like +you to think of it more as a colorful anecdote you might enjoy telling your +grandchildren about." + +A voice from within said, "That's him! He stole my horse!" + +A wizard's staff poked out. The chieftain saw the knob on the end. + +"Now then," he said pleasantly. "I know the rules. Wizards aren't allowed +to use magic against civilians except in genuine life-threatening situa--" + +There was a burst of octarine light. + +"Actually, it's not a rule," said Ridcully. "It's more a guideline." He +turned to Ponder Stibbons. "Interestin' use of Stacklady's Morphic +Resonator here, I hoped you noticed." + +Ponder looked down. + +The chieftain had been turned into a pumpkin, although, in accordance with +the rules of universal humor, he still had his hat on. + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 149 (second half of a paragraph) +%passage 9 +Things had to balance. You couldn't set out to be a good witch or a bad +witch. It never worked for long. All you could try to be was a /witch/, +as hard as you could. + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 162 (mid-paragraph) +%passage 10 +"I'm the head wizard now. I've only got to give an order and a thousand +wizards will... uh... disobey, come to think of it, or say 'What?', or +start to argue. But they have to take notice. + +"I've been to that University a few times," said Granny. "A bunch of fat +old men in beards." + +"That's right! That's /them/!" + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 190 +%passage 11 +The window was no escape this time. There was the bed to hide under, and +that'd work for all of two seconds, wouldn't it? + +Her eye was drawn by some kind of horrible magic back to the room's +garderobe, lurking behind its curtain. + +Magrat lifted the lid. The shaft was definitely wide enough to admit a +body. Garderobes were notorious in that respect. Several unpopular kings +met their end, as it were, in the garderobe, at the hands of an assassin +with good climbing ability, a spear, and a fundamental approach to politics. + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 191 ('a' historian, not 'an'; 'Ynci' is correct) +%passage 12 +Some shape, some trick of moonlight, some expression on a painted face +somehow cut through her terror and caught her eye. + +That was a portrait she'd never seen before. She'd never walked down this +far. The idiot vapidity of the assembled queens had depressed her. But +this one... + +This one, somehow, reached out to her. + +She stopped. + +It couldn't have been done from life. In the days of /this/ queen, the +only paint known locally was a sort of blue, and generally used on the body. +But a few generations ago King Lully I had been a bit of a historian and a +romantic. He'd researched what was known of the early days of Lancre, and +where actual evidence had been a bit sparse he had, in the best traditions +of the keen ethnic historian, inferred from revealed self-evident wisdom(1) +and extrapolated from associated sources(2). He'd commissioned the +portrait of Queen Ynci the Short-Tempered, one of the founders of the +kingdom. + +(1) Made it up. + +(2) Had read a lot of stuff that other people had made up, too. + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# passage added for 5.0 +# +# p. 60 (passage starts mid-paragraph; "paddlin'" is accurate but unclear; +# "ooh-jar" is accurate for ouija after having been butchered by +# Nanny Ogg's previously established 'mastery' of foreign languages) +%passage 13 +"[...] Playing at witches. You know, ooh-jar boards and cards and wearing +black lace gloves with no fingers to 'em and paddlin' with the occult." + +"I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult," said Granny firmly. "Once +you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and +when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then +before you know where you are you're believing in gods. And then you're +in /trouble/." + +"But all them things exist," said Nanny Ogg. + +"That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em." + + [Lords and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Men at Arms (14) +# p. 72 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 1 +The maze was so small that people got lost looking /for/ it. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 6-7 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 2 +Ankh-Morpork had a king again. + +And this was /right/. And it was /fate/ that had let Edward recognize this +/just/ when he'd got his Plan. And it was /right/ that it was /Fate/, +and the city would be /Saved/ from its ignoble present by its /glorius/ +past. He had the /Means/, and he had the /end/. And so on ... Edward's +thoughts often ran like this. + +He could think in /italics/. Such people need watching. + +Preferably from a safe distance. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 76-77 +%passage 3 +There were such things as dwarf gods. Dwarfs were not a naturally +religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without +warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the +need for gods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. +Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice +to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded +kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their +other armpit and shout, "Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time- +continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!" + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 119 (perhaps a bit subtle; it would be clearer if 'they' was italicized) +%passage 4 +"It's an ancient tradition," said Carrot. + +"I thought dwarfs didn't believe in devils and demons and stuff like +that." + +"That's true, but ... we're not sure if they know." + +"Oh." + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 168-169 (treacle == molasses) +%passage 5 +"I'd like a couple of eggs," said Vimes, "with the yolks real hard but +the whites so runny that they drip like treacle. And I want bacon, that +special bacon all covered with bony nodules and dangling bits of fat. +And a slice of fried bread. The kind that makes your arteries go clang +just by looking at it." + +"Tough order," said Harga. + +"You managed it yesterday. And give me some more coffee. Black as +midnight on a moonless night." + +Harga looked surprised. That wasn't like Vimes. + +"How black's that, then?" he said. + +"Oh pretty damn black, I should think." + +"Not necessarily." + +"What?" + +"You get more stars on a moonless night. Stands to reason. They show up +more. It can be quite bright on a moonless night." + +Vimes sighed. + +"An /overcast/ moonless night?" he said. + +Harga looked carefully at his coffee pot. + +"Cumulous or cirro-nimbus?" + +"I'm sorry. What did you say?" + +"You gets city lights reflected off cumulous, because it's low lying, see. +Mind you, you can get high-altitude scatter off the ice crystals in--" + +"A moonless night," said Vimes, in a hollow voice, "that is as black as +that coffee." + +"Right!" + +"And a doughnut." Vimes grabbed Harga's stained vest and pulled him +until they were nose to nose. "A doughnut as doughnutty as a doughnut +made of flour, water, one large egg, sugar, a pinch of yeast, cinnamon +to taste and a jam, jelly, or rat filling depending on national or +species preference, OK? Not as doughnutty as something in any way +metaphorical. Just a doughnut. One doughnut." + +"A doughnut." + +"Yes." + +"You only had to say." + +Harga brushed off his vest, gave Vimes a hurt look, and went back into +the kitchen. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 174 (clumsy wording; 'they' in 2nd sentence != 'they' in 1st sentence) +%passage 6 +Why had they chased someone halfway across the city? Because they'd +run away. /No one/ ran away from the Watch. Thieves just flashed their +licenses. Unlicensed thieves had nothing to fear from the Watch, since +they'd saved up all their fear for the Thieves' Guild. Assassins always +obeyed the letter of the law. And honest men didn't run away from the +Watch.(1) Running away from the Watch was downright suspicious. + +(1) The axiom "Honest men have nothing to fear from the police" is +currently under review by the Axioms Appeal Board. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 176-177 ("this [sic; no 'is'] the pork futures warehouse") +%passage 7 +"Oh, my," said Detritus. "I think this the pork futures warehouse in +Morpork Road." + +"What?" + +"Used to work here," said the troll. "Used to work everywhere. Go away, +you stupid troll, you too thick," he added, gloomily. + +"Is there any way out?" + +"The main door is in Morpork Street. But no one comes in here for months. +Till pork exists."(1) + +Cuddy shivered. + +(1) Probably no other world in the multiverse has warehouses for things +which only exist /in potentia/, but the pork futures warehouse in Ankh- +Morpork is a product of the Patrician's rules about baseless metaphors, +the literal-mindedness of citizens who assume that everything must +exist somewhere, and the general thinness of the fabric of reality +around Ankh, which is so thin that it's as thin as a very thin thing. +The net result is that trading in pork futures--in pork /that doesn't +exist yet/--led to the building of the warehouse to store it until it +does. The extremely low temperatures are caused by the imbalance in +the temporal energy flow. At least, that's what the wizards in the +High Energy Magic building say. And they've got proper pointy hats and +letters after their name, so they know what they're talking about. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 212 +%passage 8 +Black mud, more or less dry, made a path at the bottom of the tunnel. +There was slime on the walls, too, indicating that at some point in the +recent past the tunnel had been full of water. Here and there huge +patches of fungi, luminous with decay, cast a faint glow over the +ancient stonework.(1) + +(1) It didn't need to. Cuddy, belonging to a race that worked underground +for preference, and Detritus, a member of a race notoriously nocturnal, +had excellent vision in the dark. But mysterious caves and tunnels +always have luminous fungi, strangely bright crystals or at a pinch +merely an eldritch glow in the air, just in case a human hero comes in +and needs to see in the dark. Strange but true. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 218 +%passage 9 +"He's bound to have done /something/," Nobby repeated. + +In this he was echoing the Patrician's view of crime and punishment. If +there was a crime, there should be punishment. If the specific criminal +should be involved in the punishment process then this was a happy +accident, but if not then any criminal would do, and since everyone was +undoubtedly guilty of something, the net result was that, /in general +terms/, justice was done. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 226 +%passage 10 +The librarian considered matters for a while. So ... a dwarf and a troll. +He preferred both species to humans. For one thing, neither of them were +great readers. The Librarian was, of course, very much in favor of +reading in general, but readers in particular got on his nerves. There +was something, well, /sacrilegious/ about the way they kept taking books +off the shelves and wearing out the words by reading them. He liked +people who loved and respected books, and the best way to do that, in +the Librarian's opinion, was to leave them on the shelves where Nature +intended them to be. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 253 +%passage 11 +Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 265 (fyi, they're decorated chicken eggs) +%passage 12 +"All those little heads ... " + +They stretched away in the candlelight, shelf on shelf of them, tiny +little clown faces--as if a tribe of headhunters had suddenly developed +a sophisticated sense of humor and a desire to make the world a better +place. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 300-301 +%passage 13 +"You know what I mean!" + +"Can't say I do. Can't say I do. Clothing has never been what you might +call a thingy of dog wossname." Gaspode scratched his ear. "Two meta- +syntactic variables there. Sorry." + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 320 +%passage 14 +"Hahaha, a nice day for it!" leered the Bursar. + +"Oh dear," said Ridcully, "he's off again. Can't understand the man. +Anyone got the dried frog pills?" + +It was a complete mystery to Mustrum Ridcully, a man designed by nature to +live outdoors and happily slaughter anything that coughed in the bushes, +why the Bursar (a man designed by Nature to sit in a small room somewhere, +adding up figures) was so nervous. He'd tried all sorts of things to, as +he put it, buck him up. These included practical jokes, surprise early +morning runs, and leaping out at him from behind doors while wearing +Willie the Vampire masks in order, he said, to take him out of himself. + + [Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Soul Music (13) +# p. 121 (Harper Torch edition; passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 1 +But this didn't /feel/ like magic. It felt a lot older than that. It felt +like music. + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 49 (the skull is a traditional decoration for a wizard's abode; this one +# is the usual perch for, and is conversing with, a talking raven that +# has been translating the Death of Rats' SQUEAKs for Susan Sto Helit) +%passage 2 +"Yes," said the skull. "Quit while you're a head, that's what I say." + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 2 +%passage 3 +But if it is true that the act of observing changes the thing which is +observed,(1) it's even more true that it changes the observer. + +(1) Because of Quantum. + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 8 +%passage 4 +It is said that whomsoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. +In fact, whomsoever the gods wish to destroy, they first hand the +equivalent of a stick with a fizzing fuse and Acme Dynamite Company +written on the side. It's more interesting, and doesn't take so long. + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 63-64 +%passage 5 +Then the skull said: "Kids today, eh?" + +"I blame education," said the raven. + +"A lot of knowledge is a dangerous thing," said the skull. "A lot more +dangerous than just a little. I always used to say that, when I was +alive." + +"When was that, exactly?" + +"Can't remember. I think I was pretty knowledgeable. Probably a teacher +or philosopher, something of that kidney. And now I'm on a bench with a +bird crapping on my head." + +"Very allegorical," said the raven. + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 87 (Stabbing: "in the" both capitalized; "and" not so) +%passage 6 +The Mended Drum had traditionally gone in for, well, traditional pub games, +such as dominoes, darts, and Stabbing People In The Back and Taking All +Their Money. The new owner had decided to go up-market. This was the +only available direction. + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 125-126 ("him"==Librarian; +# Leonard of Quirm==Discworld analog of Leonardo da Vinci) +%passage 7 +The Library didn't only contain magical books, the ones which are chained +to their shelves and are very dangerous. It also contained perfectly +ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be +a mistake to think that they weren't also dangerous, just because reading +them didn't make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did +the more dangerous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the +reader's brain. + +For example, the big volume open in front of him contained some of the +collected drawings of Leonard of Quirm, skilled artist and certified +genius, with a mind that wandered so much it came back with souvenirs. + +Leonard's books were full of sketches--of kittens, of the way water flows, +of the wives of influential Ankh-Morporkian merchants whose portraits had +provided his means of making a living. But Leonard had been a genius and +was deeply sensitive to the wonders of the world, so the margins were full +of detailed doodles of whatever was on this mind at the moment--vast +water-powered engines for bringing down city walls on the heads of the +enemy, new types of siege guns for pumping flaming oil over the enemy, +gunpowder rockets that showered the enemy with burning phosphorous, and +other manufactures of the Age of Reason. + +And there had been something else. The Librarian had noticed it in +passing once before, and had been slightly puzzled by it. It seemed out +of place.(1) + +(1) And didn't appear to do anything to the enemy /at all/. + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 152 (much of the story concerns "Music With Rocks In") +%passage 8 +Some religions say that the universe was started with a word, a song, +a dance, a piece of music. The Listening Monks of the Ramtops have +trained their hearing until they can tell the value of a playing card by +listening to it, and have made it their task to listen intently to the +subtle sounds of the universe to piece together, from the fossil echoes, +the very first noises. + +There was certainly, they say, a very strange noise at the beginning of +everything. + +But the keenest ears (the ones who win most at poker), who listen to the +frozen echoes in the ammonites and amber, swear they can detect some tiny +sounds before that. + +It sounded, they say, like someone counting: One, Two, Three, Four. + +The very best one, who listened to basalt, said he thought he could make +out, very faintly, some numbers that came even earlier. + +When they asked him what it was, he said: "It sounds like One, Two." + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 227 +%passage 9 +The Death of Rats put his nose in his paws. It was a lot easier with +rats.(1) + +(1) Rats had featured largely in the history of Ankh-Morpork. Shortly +before the Patrician came to power there was a terrible plague of rats. +The city council countered it by offering twenty pence for every rat +tail. This did, for a week or two, reduce the number of rats--and then +people were suddenly queueing up with tails, the city treasury was being +drained, and no one seemed to be doing much work. And there /still/ +seemed to be a lot of rats around. Lord Vetinari had listened carefully +while the problem was explained, and had solved the thing with one +memorable phrase which said a lot about him, about the folly of bounty +offers, and about the natural instinct of Ankh-Morporkians in any +situation involving money: "Tax the rat farms." + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 313-314 (Drongo and Big Mad Adrian are students) +%passage 10 +The Archchancellor polished this staff as he walked along. It was a +particularly good one, six feet long and quite magical. Not that he used +magic very much. In his experience, anything that couldn't be disposed of +with a couple of whacks from six feet of oak was probably immune to magic +as well. + +"Don't you think we should have brought the senior wizards, sir?" said +Ponder, struggling to keep up. + +"I'm afraid that taking them along in their present state of mind would +only make what happens"--Ridcully sought for a useful phrase, and settled +for--"happen worse. I've insisted they stay in college." + +"How about Drongo and the others?" said Ponder hopefully. + +"Would they be any good in the event of a thaumaturgical dimension rip of +enormous proportions?" said Ridcully. "I remember poor Mr. Hong. One +minute he was dishing up an order of double cod and mushy peas, the +next ..." + +"Kaboom?" said Ponder. + +"Kaboom?" said Ridcully, forcing his way up the crowded street. "Not +that I heard tell. More like 'Aaaaerrrr-scream-gristle- gristle-gristle- +crack' and a shower of fried food. Big Mad Adrian and his friends any +good when the chips are down?" + +"Um. Probably not, Archchancellor." + +"Correct. People shout and run about. That never did any good. A pocket +full of decent spells and a well-charged staff will get you out of trouble +nine times out of ten." + +"Nine times out of ten?" + +"Correct." + +"How many times have you had to rely on them, sir?" + +"Well ... there was Mr. Hong ... that business with the thing in the +Bursar's wardrobe ... that dragon, you remember ..." Ridcully's lips +moved silently as he counted on his fingers. "Nine times, so far." + +"It worked every time, sir?" + +"Absolutely! So there's no need to worry. Gangway! Wizard comin' +through." + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 339 +%passage 11 +The wizards went rigid as the howl rang through the building. It was +slightly animal but also mineral, metallic, edged like a saw. + +Eventually the Lecturer in Recent Runes said, "Of course, just because +we've heard a spine-chilling blood-curdling scream of the sort to make +your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's +anything wrong." + +The wizards looked out into the corridor. + +"It came from downstairs somewhere," said the Chair of Indefinite Studies, +heading for the staircase. + +"So why are you going /upstairs/?" + +"Because I'm not daft!" + +"But it might be some terrible emanation!" + +"You don't say?" said the Chair, still accelerating. + +"All right, please yourself. That's the students floor up there." + +"Ah, Er--" + +The Chair came down slowly, occasionally glancing fearfully up the stairs. + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 2 more passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 242 (passage starts and ends mid-paragraph; "the Old" rather than "the +# Old " is accurate) +%passage 12 +Wizards were rumored to be wise--in fact, that's where the word came +from.(1) + +(1) From the Old /wys-ars/, lit: one who, at bottom, is very smart. + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 351 (passage starts mid-paragraph; Death normally isn't bound by time +# and space so can be everywhere at once, more or less, but in this +# case he is speeding out of Ankh-Morpork and across the countryside +# on a motorcycle invented by UU's Librarian; despite racing along +# at such high speed that the vehicle has steadily disintegrated out +# from under him, progress is slow by his usual standard) +%passage 13 +The fastest way to travel is to be there already. + + [Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Interesting Times (13) +# p. 1 (Harper Torch edition; passage is a footnote) +%passage 1 +Whatever happens, they say afterwards, it must have been fate. People are +always a little confused about this, as they are in the case of miracles. +When someone is saved from certain death by a strange concatenation of +circumstances, they say that's a miracle. But of course if someone is +/killed/ by a freak chain of events--the oil spilled just /there/, the +safety fence broken just /there/--that must /also/ be a miracle. Just +because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 18 +%passage 2 +"Oh, no," said the Lecturer in Recent Runes, pushing his chair back. "Not +that. That's meddling with things you don't understand." + +"Well, we /are/ wizards," said Ridcully. "We're supposed to meddle with +things we don't understand. If we hung around waitin' till we understood +things we'd never get anything done." + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 4 +%passage 3 +According to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle, chaos is found in greatest +abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because +it is better organized. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 14 +%passage 4 +Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to +be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had +perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was perfectly all +right because, to be fair, so had the students. + +The system worked quite well and, as happens in such cases, had taken on +the status of a tradition. Lectures clearly took place, because they +were down there on the timetable in black and white. The fact that no one +attended was an irrelevant detail. It was occasionally maintained that +this meant that the lectures did not in fact happen at all, but no one ever +attended them to find out if this was true. Anyway, it was argued (by the +Reader in Woolly Thinking(1)) that lectures had taken place /in essence/, +so that was all right, too. + +And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old +method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books +and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the +actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns +for exactly the same reason. + +(1) Which is like Fuzzy Logic, only less so. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 20 (speaker is Archchancellor Ridcully; sad, hopeless person is Rincewind) +%passage 5 +"Wizzard?" he said. "What kind of sad, hopeless person needs to write +WIZZARD on their hat?" + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 113 +%passage 6 +Self-doubt was something not regularly entertained within the Cohen cranium. +When you're trying to carry a struggling temple maiden and a sack of looted +temple goods in one hand and fight off half a dozen angry priests with the +other there is little time for reflection. Natural selection saw to it +that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves +questions like "What is the purpose of life?" very quickly lacked both. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 113 (same page as previous passage...) +%passage 7 +Cohen's father had taken him to a mountain top, when he was no more than a +lad, and explained to him the hero's creed and told him that there was no +greater joy than to die in battle. + +Cohen had seen the flaw in this straight away, and a lifetime's experience +had reinforced his belief that in fact a greater joy was to kill the /other/ +bugger in battle and end up sitting on a heap of gold higher than your +horse. It was an observation that had served him well. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 144 +%passage 8 +"'Dang'?" he said. "Wassat mean? And what's this 'darn' and 'heck'?" + +"They are ... /civilised/ swearwords." said Mr. Saveloy. + +"Well, you can take 'em and--" + +"Ah?" said Mr. Saveloy, raising a cautionary finger. + +"You can shove them up--" + +"Ah?" + +"You can--" + +"Ah?" + +Truckle shut his eyes and clenched his fists. + +"Darn it all to heck!" he shouted. + +"Good," said Mr. Saveloy. "That's much better." + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 219 (sic: "Dedd") +%passage 9 +The taxman was warming to his new job. He'd worked out that although the +Horde, as individuals, had acquired mountains of cash in their careers as +barbarian heroes they'd lost almost all of it engaging in the other +activities (he mentally catalogued these as Public Relations) necessary to +the profession, and therefore were entitled to quite a considerable rebate. + +The fact that they were registered with no revenue collecting authority +/anywhere/(1) was entirely a secondary point. It was the principle that +counted. And the interest, too, of course. + +(1) Except on posters with legends like "Wanted--Dedd". + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 297 +%passage 10 +"What do we do now?" said Mr. Saveloy. "Do we do a battle chant or +something?" + +"We just wait," said Cohen. + +"There's a lot of waiting in warfare," said Boy Willie. + +"Ah, yes," said Mr. Saveloy. "I've heard people say that. They say +there's long periods of boredom followed by short periods of excitement." + +"Not really," said Cohen. "It's more like short periods of waiting +followed by long periods of being dead." + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 3 new passages for 5.0 +# +# p. 45 +%passage 11 +Adventure! People talked about the idea as if it was something worthwhile, +rather than a mess of bad food, no sleep, and strange people inexplicably +trying to stick pointed objects in bits of you. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 52 +%passage 12 +"How /will/ I get back?" he said. + +"Same way you went. We'll find you and bring you out. With surgical +precision." + +Rincewind groaned. He knew what surgical precision meant in Ankh-Morpork. +It meant "to within an inch or two, accompanied by a lot of screaming, and +then they pour hot tar on you just where your leg was." + +But... if you put aside for the moment the certainty that something would +definitely go horribly wrong, it looked foolproof. The trouble was that +wizards were such ingenious fools. + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 272-274 (most of page 273, is omitted: War introduces his children and +# Rincewind asks Death about the outcome of a battle which is +# imminent; Death's response is that he wouldn't answer even if +# he knew, and Rincewind is astonished that he might not know; +# Death holds a finger up and a butterfly--as a symbol of chaos +# theory--briefly lands on it, then flies away) +%passage 13 +RINCEWIND, ISN'T IT? said Death. YES. GOOD EVENING. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU +HAVE MET WAR. RINCEWIND, WAR. WAR, RINCEWIND. + +[...] + +ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS, said Death, THE ONLY CERTAIN THING IS UNCERTAINTY. +TRITE, I KNOW, BUT TRUE. + +Somewhere on the horizon, thunder rumbled. + +"I'll, er, just be sort of going, then," said Rincewind. + +DON'T BE A STRANGER, said Death, as the wizard hurried off. + +"Odd person," said War. + +WITH HIM HERE, EVEN UNCERTAINTY IS UNCERTAIN. AND I'M NOT SURE EVEN +ABOUT THAT. + +War pulled a large paper-wrapped package out of his saddlebag. + +"We've got... let's see now... Egg and Cress, Chicken Tikka, and Mature +Cheese with Chunky Pickle, I think." + +THEY DO SUCH MARVELOUS THINGS WITH SANDWICHES THESE DAYS. + +"Oh... and Bacon Surprise." + +REALLY? WHAT IS SO SURPRISING ABOUT BACON? + +"I don't know. I suppose it comes as something of a shock to the pig." + + [Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Maskerade (13) +# pp. 81-82, continued on pp. 87-89 (Harper Torch edition; apparently +# transcribed from some other edition based on quote marks used; +# a great number of very short paragraphs--it stretches a long way +# when using a blank line to separate one paragraph from another; +# one omitted bit is that after Granny shuffles the deck of cards +# and deals two poker hands, Death swaps them, suggesting that +# he suspected her of cheating; initial transcription left off +# the most interesting bit, Death's wink at the end) +%passage 1 +'Maybe you could ... help us?' + +'What's wrong?' + +'It's my boy ...' + +Granny opened the door farther and saw the woman standing behind Mr. Slot. +One look at her face was enough. There was a bundle in her arms. + +Granny stepped back. 'Bring him in and let me have a look at him.' + +She took the baby from the woman, sat down on the room's one chair, and +pulled back the blanket. Nanny Ogg peered over her shoulder. + +'Hmm,' said Granny, after a while. She glanced at Nanny, who gave an +almost imperceptible shake of her head. + +'There's a curse on this house, that's what it is,' said Slot. 'My best +cow's been taken mortally sick, too.' + +'Oh? You have a cowshed?' said Granny. 'Very good place for a sickroom, +a cowshed. It's the warmth. You better show me where it is.' + +'You want to take the boy down there?' + +'Right now.' + + [...] + +'How many have you come for?' + +ONE. + +'The cow?' + +Death shook his head. + +'It could /be/ the cow.' + +NO. THAT WOULD BE CHANGING HISTORY. + +'History is about things changing.' + +NO. + +Granny sat back. + +'Then I challenge you to a game. That's traditional. That's /allowed/.' + +Death was silent for a moment. + +THIS IS TRUE. + +'Good.' + +CHALLENGING ME BY MEANS OF A GAME IS ALLOWABLE. + +"Yes." + +HOWEVER ... YOU UNDERSTAND THAT TO WIN ALL YOU MUST GAMBLE ALL? + +'Double or quits? Yes, I know.' + +BUT NOT CHESS. + +'Can't abide chess.' + +OR CRIPPLE MR. ONION. I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES. + +'Very well. How about one hand of poker? Five cards each, no draws? +Sudden death, as they say.' + +Death thought about this, too. + +YOU KNOW THIS FAMILY? + +'No.' + +THEN WHY? + +'Are we talking or are we playing?' + +OH, VERY WELL. + + [...] + +Granny looked at her cards, and threw them down. + +FOUR QUEENS. HMM. THAT /IS/ VERY HIGH. + +Death looked down at his cards, and then up into Granny's steady, blue-eyed +gaze. + +Neither moved for some time. + +Then Death laid the hand on the table. + +I LOSE, he said. ALL I HAVE IS FOUR ONES. + +He looked back into Granny's eyes for a moment. There was a blue glow in +the depth of his eye-sockets. Maybe, for the merest fraction of a second, +barely noticeable even to the closest observation, one winked off. + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 67 (Harper Torch edition; as above, transcribed from some other edition; +# passage ends mid-paragraph; the text of the note uses irregular +# indentation and a distinct font that hints at cursive handwriting) +%passage 2 +The letter inside was on a sheet of the Opera House's own note paper. +In neat, copperplate writing, it said: + + Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Aahahaha! + BEWARE!!!!! + + Yrs sincerely + The Opera Ghost + +'What sort of person,' said Salzella patiently, 'sits down and /writes/ a +maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A +sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do +that to a man.' + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 30-31 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 3 +Agnes had woken up one morning with the horrible realization that she'd +been saddled with a lovely personality. It was as simple as that. Oh, +and very good hair. + +It wasn't so much the personality, it was the "but" people always added +when they talked about it. /But she's got a lovely personality/, they +said. It was the lack of choice that rankled. No one had asked her, +before she was born, whether she wanted a lovely personality or whether +she'd prefer, say, a miserable personality but a body that could take +size nine in dresses. Instead, people would take pains to tell her that +beauty was only skin-deep, as if a man ever fell for an attractive pair +of kidneys. + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 258 +%passage 4 +'And what can I get you, officers?' she said. + +'Officers? Us?' said the Count de Nobbes. 'What makes you think we're +watchmen?' + +'He's got a helmet on,' Nanny pointed out. 'Also, he's got his badge +pinned to his coat.' + +'I /told/ you to put it away!' Nobby hissed. He looked at Nanny and +smiled uneasily. 'Milit'ry chic,' he said. 'It's just a fashion +accessory. Actually, we are gentlemen of means and have nothing to do +with the city Watch whatsoever.' + +'Well, /gentlemen/, would you like some wine?' + +'Not while we on duty, t'anks,' said the troll. + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 27 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 5 +Lancre had always bred strong, capable women. A Lancre farmer needed a +wife who'd think nothing of beating a wolf to death with her apron when +she went out to get some firewood. And, while kissing initially seemed to +have more charms than cookery, a stolid Lancre lad looking for a bride +would bear in mind his father's advice that kisses eventually lost their +fire but cookery tended to get even better over the years, and direct his +courting to those families that clearly showed a tradition of enjoying +their food. + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 28 +%passage 6 +Music and magic had a lot in common. They were only two letters apart, +for one thing. And you couldn't do both. + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 31 +%passage 7 +She'd caught herself saying "poot!" and "dang!" when she wanted to swear, +and using pink writing paper. + +She'd got a reputation for being calm and capable in a crisis. + +Next thing she knew she'd be making shortbread and apple pies as good as +her mother's, and then there'd be no hope for her. + +So she'd introduced Perdita. She'd heard somewhere that inside every fat +woman was a thin woman trying to get out,(1) so she'd named her Perdita. +She was a good repository for all those thoughts that Agnes couldn't think +on account of her wonderful personality. Perdita would use black writing +paper if she could get away with it, and would be beautifully pale instead +of embarrassingly flushed. Perdita wanted to be an interestingly lost soul +in plum-colored lipstick. Just occasionally, though, Agnes thought +Perdita was as dumb as she was. + +(1) Or, at least, dying for chocolate. + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 197 (dress shop proprietor has just sold an expensive dress to Granny) +%passage 8 +She looked down at the money in her hand. + +She knew about old money, which was somehow hallowed by the fact that +people had hung on to it for years, and she knew about new money, which +seemed to be being made by all these upstarts that were flooding into the +city these days. But under her powdered bosom she was an Ankh-Morpork +shopkeeper, and knew that the best kind of money was the sort that was in +her hand rather than someone else's. The best kind of money was mine, +not yours. + +Besides, she was also enough of a snob to confuse rudeness with good +breeding. In the same way that the really rich can never be mad (they're +eccentric), so they can also never be rude (they're outspoken and +forthright). + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 288-289 +%passage 9 +Detritus reached down and picked up an eye patch. + +"What d'you think, then?" said Nobby scornfully. "You think he turned into +a bat and flew away?" + +"Ha! I do not t'ink that 'cos it is in ... consist ... ent with modern +policing," said Detritus. + +"Well, /I/ think," said Nobby, "that when you have ruled out the impossible, +what is left, however improbable, ain't worth hanging around on a cold night +wonderin' about when you could be getting on the outside of a big drink. +Come on. I want to try a leg of the elephant that bit me." + +"Was dat irony?" + +"That was metaphor." + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 4 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# pp. 51-52 (Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg are traveling to Ankh-Morpork +# and Nanny feels that the weather is too chilly for flying; +# Cando Cutoff is a bystander who has told them that the next +# stagecoach won't stop here; they stand in the road to block it) +%passage 10 +"Why've you got broomsticks?" shouted the driver. "Are you witches?" + +"Yes. Have you got any special low terms for witches?" + +"Yeah, how about 'meddling, interfering old baggages'?" + +Cutoff felt that he must have missed part of the conversation, because the +next exchange went like this: + +"What was that again, young man?" + +"Two complimentary tickets to Ankh-Morpork, ma'am. No problem." + +"Inside seats, mind. No traveling on the top." + +"Certainly, ma'am. Excuse me while I just kneel in the dirt so's you can +step up, ma'am." + +Cutoff nodded happily to himself as the coach pulled away again. It was +nice to see that good manners and courtesy were still alive. + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 69 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 11 +"[...] If you wanted a quiet retirement, Mr. Bucket, you shouldn't have +bought the Opera House. You should have done something peaceful, like +alligator dentistry." + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 108-109 (Mr. Pounder, the Opera House rat catcher, has been murdered; +# instead of Death coming to release his soul, the Death of Rats +# is attending; we skip a couple of very short paragraphs) +%passage 12 +"Er... I'm dead, aren't I...?" + +SQUEAK. + +[...] + +The soul of Mr. Pounder looked at his hands. They seemed to be elongating, +and getting hairier. He could feel his ears growing, and a certain rather +embarrassing elongation at the base of his spine. He'd spent most of his +life in a single-minded activity in dark places, yet even so... + +"But I don't /believe/ in reincarnation!" he protested. + +SQUEAK. + +And this, Mr. Pounder understood with absolute rodent clarity, meant: +reincarnation believes in /you/. + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 198 (Nanny has come into a substantial sum of money and has grumbled +# about Granny spending so much of it) +%passage 13 +"Money don't buy happiness, Gytha." + +"I only wanted to rent it for a few weeks." + + [Maskerade, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Feet of Clay (14) +# pp. 66-67 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 1 +Rumour is information distilled so finely that it can filter through +anything. It does not need doors and windows--sometimes it doesn't even +need people. It can exist free and wild, running from ear to ear without +ever touching lips. + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 337 +%passage 2 +It was hard enough to kill a vampire. You could stake them down and turn +them into dust and ten years later someone drops a drop of blood in the +wrong place and /guess who's back/? They returned more times than raw +broccoli. + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 4 +%passage 3 +People look down on stuff like geography and meteorology, and not only +because they're standing on one and being soaked by the other. They don't +look quite like real science.(1) But geography is only physics slowed +down and with a few trees stuck on it, and meteorology is full of +excitingly fashionable chaos and complexity. And summer isn't a time. +It's a place as well. Summer is a moving creature and likes to go south +for the winter. + +(1) That is to say, the sort you can use to give something three extra +legs and then blow it up. + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 19 +%passage 4 +Upstairs, Vimes pushed open his office door carefully. The Assassins' +Guild played to rules. You could say that about the bastards. It was +terribly bad form to kill a bystander. Apart from anything else, you +wouldn't get paid. So traps in his office were out of the question, +because too many people were in and out of it every day. Even so, it +paid to be careful. Vimes /was/ good at making the kind of rich enemies +who could afford to employ assassins. The assassins had to be lucky +only once, but Vimes had to be lucky all the time. + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 86 (passage continues, actually finding an image in dead man's eyes) +%passage 5 +"Er ... have you ever heard the story about dead men's eyes, sir?" + +"Assume I haven't had a literary education, Littlebottom." + +"Well ... they say ..." + +"/Who/ say?" + +"/They/, sir. You know, /they/." + +"The same people who're the 'everyone' in 'everyone knows'? The people +who live in 'the community'?" + +"Yes, sir. I suppose so, sir." + +Vimes waved a hand. "Oh, /them/. Well, go on." + +"They say that the last thing a man sees stays imprinted in his eyes, sir." + +"Oh, /that/. That's just an old story." + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 127-128 +%passage 6 +Everyone in the city looked after themselves. That's what the guilds were +for. People banded together against other people. The guild looked after +you from the cradle to the grave or, in the case of the Assassins, to +other people's graves. They even maintained the law, or at least they had +done, after a fashion. Thieving without a license was punishable by death +for the first offense.(1) The Thieves' Guild saw to that. The arrangement +sounded unreal, but it worked. + +It worked like a machine. That was fine except for the occasional people +who got caught in the wheels. + +(1) The Ankh-Morpork view of crime and punishment was that the penalty for +the first offence should prevent the possibility of a second offense. + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 129, continued pp. 132-133 +%passage 7 +Vimes struggled to his feet, shook his head, and set off after it. No +thought was involved. It is the ancient instinct of terriers and +policemen to chase anything that runs away. + + [...] + +Vimes pounded through the fog after the fleeing figure. It wasn't quite +so fast as him, despite the twinges in his legs and one or two warning +stabs from his left knee, but whenever he came close to it some muffled +pedestrian got in the way, or a cart pulled out from a cross street.(1) + +(1) This always happens in any police chase /anywhere/. A heavily laden +lorry will /always/ pull out of a side alley in front of the pursuit. If +vehicles aren't involved, then it'll be a man with a rack of garments. +Or two men with a large sheet of glass. There's probably some kind of +secret society behind all this. + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 165 +%passage 8 +Ron had a small grayish-brown, torn-eared terrier on the end of a string, +although in truth it would be hard for an observer to know exactly who +was leading whom and who, when push came to shove, would be the one to +fold at the knees if the other shouted "Sit!" Because, although trained +canines as aids for those bereft of sight, and even of hearing, have +frequently been used throughout the universe, Foul Ole Ron was the first +person ever to own a Thinking-Brain Dog. + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 173-174 +%passage 9 +Samuel Vimes dreamed about Clues. + +He had a jaundiced view of Clues. He instinctively distrusted them. They +got in the way. + +And he distrusted the kind of person who'd take one look at another man +and say in a lordly voice to his companion, "Ah, my dear sir. I can tell +you nothing except that he is a left-handed stonemason who has spent some +years in the merchant navy and has recently fallen on hard times," and +then unroll a lot of supercilious commentary about calluses and stance +and the state of a man's boots, when /exactly the same/ comments could +apply to a man who was wearing his old clothes because he'd been doing a +spot of home bricklaying for a new barbecue pit, and had been tattooed +once when he was drunk and seventeen(1) and in fact got seasick on a wet +pavement. What arrogance! What an insult to the rich and chaotic variety +of the human experience. + +It was the same with more static evidence. The footprints in the +flowerbed were probably /in the real world/ left by the window-cleaner. +The scream in the night was quite likely a man getting out of bed and +stepping sharply on an upturned hairbrush. + +The real world was far too /real/ to leave neat little hints. It was full +of too many things. It wasn't by eliminating the impossible that you got +at the truth, however improbable; it was by the much harder process of +eliminating the possibilities. You worked away, patiently asking questions +and looking hard at things. You walked and talked, and in your heart you +just hoped like hell that some bugger's nerve'd crack and he'd give himself +up. + +(1) These terms are often synonymous. + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 188 +%passage 10 +"Life has certainly been more reliable under Vetinari," said Mr. Potts of +the Bakers' Guild. + +"He does have all the street-theater players and mime artists thrown into +the scorpion pit," said Mr. Boggis of the Thieves' Guild. + +"True. But let's not forget that he has his bad points too. [...]" + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 198 +%passage 11 +What a mess the world was in, Vimes reflected. Constable Visit had told +him the meek would inherit it, and what had the poor devils done to deserve +/that/? + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 295 +%passage 12 +Rogers the bulls were angry and bewildered, which counts as the basic state +of mind for full grown bulls.(1) + +(1) Because of the huge obtrusive mass of his forehead, Rogers the bulls' +view of the universe was from two eyes each with their own non-overlapping +hemispherical view of the world. Since there were two separate visions, +Rogers had reasoned, that meant there must be two bulls (bulls not having +been bred for much deductive reasoning). Most bulls believe this, which is +why they always keep turning their head this way and that when they look at +you. They do this because both of them want to see. + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 312 ('meaning' line capitalizes every word, including 'A','For','To') +%passage 13 +"It's the most menacing dwarf battle-cry there is! Once it's been shouted +/someone/ has to be killed!" + +"What's it mean?" + +"Today Is A Good Day For Someone Else To Die!" + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 347 (Colon is addressing Dorfl, a golem who is joining the Watch) +%passage 14 +"Y'know," said Colon, "if it doesn't work out, you could always get a job +making fortune cookies." + +"Funny thing, that," said Nobby. "You never get bad fortunes in cookies, +ever noticed that? They never say stuff like: 'Oh dear, things are going +to be /really/ bad.' I mean, they're never /misfortune/ cookies." + +Vimes lit a cigar and shook the match to put it out. "That, Corporal, is +because of one of the fundamental driving forces of the universe." + +"What? Like, people who read fortune cookies are the lucky ones?" said +Nobby. + +"No. Because people who /sell/ fortune cookies want to go on selling +them. [...]" + + [Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Hogfather (13) +# p. 1 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 1 +Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. + +But people have always been dimly aware of the problem with the start of +things. They wonder how the snowplow driver gets to work, or how the +makers of dictionaries look up the spelling of words. Yet there is the +constant desire to find some point in the twisting, knotting, raveling +nets of space-time on which a metaphorical finger can be put to indicate +that here, /here/, is the point where it all began ... + +/Something/ began when the Guild of Assassins enrolled Mister Teatime, +who saw things differently from other people, and one of the ways that +he saw things differently from other people was in seeing other people +as things (later, Lord Downey of the Guild said, "We took pity on him +because he'd lost both parents at an early age. I think that, on +reflection, we should have wondered a bit more about that.") + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 28-29 +%passage 2 +If asked to describe what they did for a living, the five men around the +table would have said something like "This and that" or "The best I can," +although in Banjo's case he'd probably have said "Dur?" They were, by the +standards of an uncaring society, criminals, although they wouldn't have +thought of themselves as such and couldn't even /spell/ words like +"nefarious." What they generally did was move things around. Sometimes +the things were on the wrong side of a steel door, or in the wrong house. +Sometimes the things were in fact people who were far too unimportant to +trouble the Assassins' Guild with, but who were nevertheless inconveniently +positioned where they were and would be much better located on, for +example, a sea bed somewhere.(1) None of the five belonged to any formal +guild and they generally found their clients among those people who, for +their own dark reasons, didn't want to put the guilds to any trouble, +sometimes because they were guild members themselves. They had plenty of +work. There was always something that needed transferring from A to B or, +of course, to the bottom of the C. + +(1) Chickenwire had got his name from his own individual contribution to +the science of this very specialized "concrete overshoe" form of waste +disposal. An unfortunate drawback of the process was the tendency for +bits of the client to eventually detach and float to the surface, causing +much comment among the general population. Enough chicken wire, he pointed +out, would solve that, while also allowing the ingress of crabs and fish +going about their vital recycling activities. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 109-110 +%passage 3 +Although it was Hogswatch the University buildings were bustling. Wizards +didn't go to bed early in any case,(1) and of course there was the +Hogswatchnight Feast to look forward to at midnight. + +It would give some idea of the scale of the Hogswatchnight Feast that a +light snack at UU consisted of three or four courses, not counting the +cheese and nuts. + +Some of the wizards had been practicing for weeks. The Dean in particular +could now lift a twenty-pound turkey on one fork. Having to wait until +midnight merely put a healthy edge on appetites already professionally +honed. + +(1) Often they lived to a time scale to suit themselves. Many of the +senior ones, of course, lived entirely in the past, but several were like +the Professor of Anthropics, who had invented an entire temporal system +based on the belief that all the other ones were a mere illusion. + +Many people are aware of the Weak and Strong Anthropic Principles. The +Weak One says, basically, that it was jolly amazing of the universe to be +constructed in such a way that humans could evolve to a point where they +could make a living in, for example, universities, while the Strong One +says that, on the contrary, the whole point of the universe was that +humans should not only work in universities, but also write for huge sums +books with words like "Cosmic" and "Chaos" in the titles.(2) + +The UU Professor of Anthropics had developed the Special and Inevitable +Anthropic Principle, which was that the entire reason for the existence of +the universe was the eventual evolution of the UU Professor of Anthropics. +But this was only a formal statement of the theory which absolutely +everyone, with only some minor details of a "Fill in name here" nature, +secretly believes to be true. + +(2) And they are correct. The universe clearly operates for the benefit +of humanity. This can be readily seen by the convenient way the sun comes +up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 112-113 (we end this passage mid-paragraph...) +%passage 4 +"Watch this, sir," said Ponder. "All right, Adrian, initialize the GBL." + +"How do you do that, then?" said Ridcully, behind him. + +"It ... it means pull the great big lever," Ponder said, reluctantly. + +"Ah. Takes less time to say." + +Ponder sighed. "Yes, that's right, Archchancellor." + +He nodded to one of the students, who pulled a large red lever marked "Do +Not Pull." Gears spun, somewhere inside Hex. Little trapdoors opened in +the ant farms and millions of ants began to scurry along the networks of +glass tubing. Ponder tapped at the huge wooden keyboard. + +"Beats me how you fellows remember how to do all this stuff," said Ridcully, +still watching him with what Ponder considered to be amused interest. + +"Oh, it's largely intuitive, Archchancellor," said Ponder. "Obviously you +have to spend a lot of time learning it first, though. [...]" + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 139-140 +%passage 5 +"Tell me, Senior Wrangler, we never invited any /women/ to the +Hogswatchnight Feast, did we?" + +"Of course not, Archchancellor," said the Senior Wrangler. He looked up +in the dust-covered rafters, wondering what had caught the Archchancellor's +eye. "Good heavens, no. They'd spoil everything. I've always said so." + +"And all the maids have got the evening off until midnight?." + +"A very generous custom, I've always said," said the Senior Wrangler, +feeling his neck crick. + +"So why, every year, do we hang a damn great bunch of mistletoe up there?" + +The Senior Wrangler turned in a circle, still looking upward. + +"Well, er ... it's well, it's ... it's symbolic, Archchancellor." + +"Ah?" + +The Senior Wrangler felt that something more was expected. He groped +around in the dusty attics of his education. + +"Of ... the leaves, d'y'see ... they're symbolic of ... of green, d'y'see, +whereas the berries, in fact, yes, the berries symbolize ... symbolize +white. Yes. White and green. Very ... symbolic." + +He waited. He was not, unfortunately, disappointed. + +"What of?" + +The Senior Wrangler coughed. + +"I'm not sure there /has/ to be an /of/," he said. + +"Ah? So," said the Archchancellor thoughtfully, "it could be said that +the white and green symbolize a small parasitic plant?" + +"Yes, indeed," said the Senior Wrangler. + +"So mistletoe, in fact, symbolizes mistletoe?" + +"Exactly, Archchancellor," said the Senior Wrangler, who was now just +hanging on. + +"Funny thing, that," said Ridcully, in the same thoughtful tone of voice. +"That statement is either so deep it would take a lifetime to fully +comprehend every particle of its meaning, or it is a load of absolute +tosh. Which is it, I wonder?" + +"It could be both," said the Senior Wrangler desperately. + +"And /that/ comment," said Ridcully, "is either very perceptive or very +trite." + +"It could be bo--" + +"Don't push it, Senior Wrangler." + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 170 ([sic], sentence at end of paragraph should have fourth period) +%passage 6 +What Ponder was worried about was the fear that he was simply engaged in a +cargo cult. He'd read about them. Ignorant(1) and credulous(2) people, +whose island might once have been visited by some itinerant merchant +vessel that traded pearls and coconuts for such fruits of civilization as +glass beads, mirrors, axes, and sexual diseases, would later make big model +ships out of bamboo in the hope of once again attracting this magical +cargo. Of course, they were far too ignorant and credulous to know that +just because you built the shape you didn't get the substance ... + +(1) Ignorant: the state of not knowing what a pronoun is, or how to find +the square root of 27.4, and merely knowing childish and useless things +like which of the seventy almost identical-looking species of the purple +sea snake are the deadly ones, how to treat the poisonous pith of the +Sago-sago tree to make a nourishing gruel, how to foretell the weather by +the movements of the tree-climbing Burglar Crab, how to navigate across +a thousand miles of featureless ocean by means of a piece of string and a +small clay model of your grandfather, how to get essential vitamins from +the liver of the ferocious Ice Bear, and other such trivial matters. It's +a strange thing that when everyone becomes educated, everyone knows about +the pronoun but no one knows about the Sago-sago. + +(2) Credulous: having views about the world, the universe and humanity's +place in it that are shared only by very unsophisticated people and the +most intelligent and advanced mathematicians and physicists. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 244 (mantelpiece: it's dark and Ponder is checking whether the Hogfather +# [Discworld analog of Santa Claus/Father Christmas] has been there +# and left presents in the stocking the Librarian has hung) +%passage 7 +There was silence again, and then a clang. The Librarian grunted in his +sleep. + +"What are you doing?" + +"I just knocked over the coal shovel." + +"Why are you feeling around on the mantelpiece?" + +"Oh, just ... you know, just ... just looking. A little ... experiment. +After all, you never know." + +"You never know what?" + +"Just ... never know, you know." + +"/Sometimes/ you know," said Ridcully. "I think I know quite a lot that +I didn't used to know. It's amazing what you /do/ end up knowing, I +sometimes think. I often wonder what new stuff I'll know." + +"Well, you never know." + +"That's a fact." + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 330 +%passage 8 +IT GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN, LIFE, said Death, stepping forward. SPEAKING +METAPHORICALLY, OF COURSE. IT'S A HABIT THAT'S HARD TO GIVE UP. ONE PUFF +OF BREATH IS NEVER ENOUGH. YOU'LL FIND YOU WANT TO TAKE ANOTHER. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 336 +%passage 9 +HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL +MEETS THE RISING APE. + +"Tooth Fairies? Hogfathers? Little--" + +YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE /LITTLE/ +LIES. + +"So we can believe the big ones?" + +YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 343 (Mr. Teatime [pronounced Teh-ah-tim-eh] has just been thwarted in +# his elaborate plot to lure and then kill Death) +%passage 10 +"What did he do it all for?" said Susan. "I mean, why? Money? Power?" + +SOME PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THE SHEER FASCINATION OF DOING IT, said +Death. OR THE FAME. OR BECAUSE THEY SHOULDN'T. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 3 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# pp. 2-3 (the door turns out to lead to a bathroom designed by Bergholt +# Stuttly "Bloody Stupid" Johnson, an infamous architect and +# landscape designer known for creating dangerous and/or unusable +# versions of whatever he'd been hired to produce) +%passage 11 +The senior wizards of Unseen University stood and looked at the door. + +There was no doubt that whoever had shut it wanted it to stay shut. Dozens +of nails secured it to the door frame. Planks had been nailed right across. +And finally it had, up until this morning, been hidden by a bookcase that +had been put in front of it. + +"And there's the sign, Ridcully," said the Dean. "You /have/ read it, I +assume. You know? The sign which says 'Do not, under any circumstances, +open this door'?" + +"Of course I've read it," said Ridcully. "Why d'yer think I want it +opened?" + +"Er... why?" said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. + +"To see why they wanted it shut, of course."(1) + +(1) This exchange contains almost all you need to know about human +civilization. At least, those bits of it that are now under the sea, +fenced off or still smoking. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 144 (the wizards have been discussing hangover cures and are hoping to +# produce one for Bilious, the god--actually "oh god"--of hangovers) +%passage 12 +Then the Dean repeated the mantra that has had such a marked effect on the +progress of knowledge throughout the ages. + +"Why don't we just mix up absolutely everything and see what happens?" he +said. + +And Ridcully responded with the traditional response. + +"It's got to be worth a try," he said. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 192 (senior wizards are discussing Hex, an organic+clockwork computer +# invented, built, and run by junior wizards and advanced students) +%passage 13 +"I don't hold with using that thinking machine," said the Dean. "I've said +this before. It's meddling with the cult. The /oc/cult has always been +good enough for me, thank you very much." + +"On the other hand it's the only person round here who can think straight +and it does what it's told," said Ridcully. + + [Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Jingo (14) +%passage 1 +# p. 206 (Harper Torch Edition; passage starts mid-paragraph) +It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to +think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. +If it was Us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. +I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. /No one/ ever thinks +of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do +the bad things. + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 23-25 (Harper Torch edition) [transcribed from some other edition] +%passage 2 +There was a general shifting of position and a group clearing of throats. + +'What about mercenaries?' said Boggis. + +'The problem with mercenaries', said the Patrician, 'is that they need to +be paid to start fighting. And, unless you are very lucky, you end up +paying them even more to stop--' + +Selachii thumped the table. + +'Very well, then, by jingo!' he snarled. 'Alone!' + +'We could certainly do with one,' said Lord Vetinari. 'We need the money. +I was about to say that we cannot /afford/ mercenaries.' + +'How can this be?' said Lord Downey. 'Don't we pay our taxes?' + +'Ah, I thought we might come to that,' said Lord Vetinari. He raised +his hand and, on cue again, his clerk placed a piece of paper in it. + +'Let me see now ... ah yes. Guild of Assassins ... Gross earnings in +the last year: AM$13,207,048. Taxes paid in the last year: forty-seven +dollars, twenty-two pence and what on examination turned out to be a +Hershebian half-/dong/, worth one eighth of a penny.' + +'That's all perfectly legal! The Guild of Accountants--' + +'Ah yes. Guild of Accountants: gross earnings AM$7,999,011. Taxes paid: +nil. But, ah yes, I see they applied for a rebate of AM$200,000.' + +'And what we received, I may say, included a Hershebian half-/dong/,' +said Mr Frostrip of the Guild of Accountants. + +'What goes around comes around,' said Vetinari calmly. + +He tossed the paper aside. 'Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy +farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the +minimum of moo. And I am afraid to say that these days all I get is moo.' + +'Are you telling us that Ankh-Morpork is /bankrupt/?' said Downey. + +'Of course. While, at the same time, full of rich people. I trust they +have been spending their good fortune on swords.' + +'And you have /allowed/ this wholesale tax avoidance?' said Lord Selachii. + +'Oh, the taxes haven't been avoided,' said Lord Vetinari. 'Or even evaded. +They just haven't been paid.' + +'That is a disgusting state of affairs!' + +The Patrician raised his eyebrows. 'Commander Vimes?' + +'Yes, sir?' + +'Would you be so good as to assemble a squad of your most experienced men, +liaise with the tax gatherers and obtain the accumulated back taxes, +please? My clerk here will give you a list of the prime defaulters.' + +'Right, sir. And if they resist, sir?' said Vimes, smiling nastily. + +'Oh, how can they resist, commander? This is the will of our civic +leaders.' He took the paper his clerk proffered. 'Let me see, now. Top +of the list--' + +Lord Selachii coughed hurriedly. 'Far too late for that sort of nonsense +now,' he said. + +'Water under the bridge,' said Lord Downey. + +'Dead and buried,' said Mr Slant. + +'I paid mine,' said Vimes. + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 7 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 3 +As every student of exploration knows, the prize goes not to the explorer +who first sets foot upon the virgin soil but to the one who gets that foot +home first. If it is still attached to his leg, this is a bonus. + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 34 +%passage 4 +Sergeant Colon had had a broad education. He'd been to the School of My +Dad Always Said, the College of It Stands to Reason, and was now a post- +graduate student at the University of What Some Bloke In the Pub Told Me. + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 43-44 +%passage 5 +"Hey, that's Reg Shoe! He's a zombie. He falls to bits all the time!" + +"Very big man in the undead community, sir," said Carrot. + +"How come /he/ joined?" + +"He came round last week to complain about the Watch harassing some +bogeymen, sir. He was very, er, vehement, sir. So I persuaded him that +what the Watch needed was some expertise, so he joined up, sir." + +"No more complaints?" + +"Twice as many, sir. All from undead, sir, and all against Mr. Shoe. +Funny That." + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 78-79 +%passage 6 +Perhaps it was because he was tired, or just because he was trying to shut +out the world, but Vimes found himself slowing down into the traditional +Watchman's walk and the traditional idling thought process. + +It was an almost Pavlovian response.(1) The legs swung, the feet moved, +the mind began to work in a certain way. It wasn't a dream state, exactly. +It was just that the ears, nose and eyeballs wired themselves straight into +the ancient "suspicious bastard" node of his brain, leaving his higher +brain center free to freewheel. + +(1) A term invented by the wizard Denephew Boot,(2) who had found that by +a system of rewards and punishments he could train a dog, at the ringing +of a bell, to immediately eat a strawberry meringue. + +(2) His parents, who were uncomplicated country people, had wanted a girl. +They were expecting to call her Denise. + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 92-93 +%passage 7 +"What was it, Leonard?" + +"An experimental device for turning chemical energy into rotary motion," +said Leonard. "The problem, you see, is getting the little pellets of +black powder into the combustion chamber at exactly the right speed and +one at a time. If two ignite together, well, what he have is the +/external/ combustion engine." + +"And, er, what would be the purpose of it?" said the Patrician. + +"I believe it could replace the horse," Leonard said proudly. + +They looked at the stricken thing. + +"One of the advantages of horses that people often point out," said +Vetinari, after some thought, "is that they very seldom explode. Almost +never, in my experience, apart from that unfortunate occurrence in the hot +summer a few years ago." With fastidious fingers he pulled something out +of the mess. It was a pair of cubes, made out of some soft white fur and +linked together by a piece of string. There were dots on them. + +"Dice?" he said. + +Leonard smiled in an embarrassed fashion. "Yes. I can't think why I +thought they'd help it go better. It was just, well, an idea. You know +how it is." + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 98 (1st "He": Leonard; 2nd "He": Vetinari; last "He": Leonard again) +%passage 8 +He was as easily distracted as a kitten. All that business with the +flying machine, for example. Giant bat wings hung from the ceiling even +now. The Patrician had been more than happy to let him waste his time on +that idea, because it was obvious to anyone that no human being would ever +be able to flap the wings hard enough. + +He needn't have worried. Leonard was his own distraction. He had ended +up spending ages designing a special tray so that people could eat their +meals in the air. + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 155 +%passage 9 +She held the lamp higher. + +Ramkins looked down their noses at her from their frames, through the brown +varnish of the centuries. Portraits were another thing that had been +collected out of unregarded habit. + +Most of them were men. They were invariably in armor and always on +horseback. And every single one of them had fought the sworn enemies of +Ankh-Morpork. + +In recent times this had been quite difficult and her grandfather, for +example, had to lead an expedition all the way to Howondaland in order to +find some sworn enemies, although there was an adequate supply and a lot +of swearing by the time he left. Earlier, of course, it had been a lot +easier. Ramkin regiments had fought the city's enemies all over the Sto +Plains and had inflicted heroic casualties, quite often on people in the +opposing armies.(1) + +(1) It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military +thinker that huge casualties are the main thing. If they are on the other +side then this is a valuable bonus. + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 180-181 (the same gag was used in the 1968 movie "Support Your Local +# Sheriff", with a dented badge rather than a book) +%passage 10 +He rummaged in a pocket and produced a very small book, which he held up +for inspection. + +"This belonged to my great-grandad," he said. "He was in the scrap we had +against Pseudopolis and my great-gran gave him this book of prayers for +soldiers, 'cos you need all the prayers you can get, believe you me, and +he stuck it in the top pocket of his jerkin, 'cause he couldn't afford +armor, and next day in battle--whoosh, this arrow came out of nowhere, wham, +straight into this book and it went all the way through to the last page +before stopping, look. You can see the hole." + +"Pretty miraculous," Carrot agreed. + +"Yeah, it was, I s'pose," said the sergeant. He looked ruefully at the +battered volume. "Shame about the other seventeen arrows, really." + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 218 +%passage 11 +"Er ... what is this thing called?" said Colon, as he followed the +Patrician up the ladder. + +"Well, because it is /submersed/ in a /marine/ environment, I've always +called it the Going-Under-the-Water-Safely Device," said Leonard, behind +him.(1) "But usually I just think of it as the boat." + +(1) Thinking up good names was, oddly enough, one area where Leonard of +Quirm's genius tended to give up. + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 274 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 12 +"[...] I mean, what're our long-term objectives?" + +"Cooking meals and keeping warm?" said Les hopefully. + +"Well, /initially/," said Jackson. "That's obvious. But you know what +they say, lad. 'Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to +him and he's warm for the rest of his life.' See my point?" + +"I don't think that's actually what the saying is--" + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 2 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 90 (second line beginning with "Sir." rather than "Sir," is accurate) +%passage 13 +"We need simple answers, Vimes." + +"Sir. Fred and Nobby are /good/ at simple." + +The Patrician turned away and looked out over the city. + +"Ah," he said in a quieter voice. "Simple men to see the simple truth." + +"This is a fact, sir." + +"You are learning fast, Vimes." + +"Couldn't say about that, sir." + +"And when they have found the simple truth, Vimes?" + +"Can't argue with the truth, sir." + +"In my experience, Vimes, you can argue with anything." + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 238 (the name "71-hour Ahmed" is accurate) +%passage 14 +71-hour Ahmed was not /super/stitious. He was substitious, which put him +in a minority among humans. He didn't believe in the things everyone +believed in but which nevertheless weren't true. He believed instead in +the things that were true in which no one else believed. There are many +such substitions, ranging from "It'll get better if you don't pick at it" +all the way up to "Sometimes things just happen." + + [Jingo, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +# The last continent is Discworld's analog of Australia, known variously +# as "XXXX", "EcksEcksEcksEcks", and "FourEcks". +# +%title The Last Continent (14) +# p. 260 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 1 +"Is it true that your life passes before your eyes before you die?" + +YES. + +"Ghastly thought, really." Rincewind shuddered. "Oh, /gods/, I've just +had another one. Suppose I /am/ just about to die and /this/ is my whole +life passing in front of my eyes?" + +I THINK PERHAPS YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES /DO/ PASS IN +FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED "LIVING". [...] + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 16 +%passage 2 +"When You're Up to Your Ass in Alligators, Today Is the First Day of the +Rest of Your Life." + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 3 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 3 +All tribal myths are true, for a given value of "true." + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 13-14 +%passage 4 +Ponder /knew/ he should never have let Ridcully look at the invisible +writings. Wasn't it a basic principle never to let your employer know what +it is that you actually /do/ all day? + +But no matter what precautions you took, sooner or later the boss was bound +to come in and poke around and say things like, "Is this where you work, +then?" and "I thought I sent a memo out about people bringing in potted +plants," and "What d'you call that thing with the keyboard?" + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 21 (passage begins mid-paragraph) +%passage 5 +[...] Any true wizard, faced with a sign like "Do not open this door. +Really. We mean it. We're not kidding. Opening this door will mean the +end of the universe," would /automatically/ open the door in order to see +what all the fuss was about. This made signs a waste of time, but at least +it meant that when you handed what was left of the wizard to his grieving +relatives you could say, as they grasped the jar, "We /told/ him not to." + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 22 (the books are acting up while the Librarian is incapacitated and +# now it's unsafe to go into the library) +%passage 6 +"But we're a university! We /have/ to have a library!" said Ridcully. "It +adds /tone/. What sort of people would we be if we didn't go into the +Library?" + +"Students," said the Senior Wrangler morosely. + +"Hah, I remember when I was a student," said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. +"Old 'Bogeyboy' Swallett took us on an expedition to find the Lost Reading +Room. Three weeks we were wandering around. We had to eat our own boots." + +"Did you find it?" said the Dean. + +"No, but we found the remains of the previous year's expedition." + +"What did you do?" + +"We ate their boots, too." + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 45-46 +%passage 7 +Death had taken to keeping Rincewind's lifetimer on a special shelf in his +study, in much the way that a zoologist would want to keep an eye on a +particularly intriguing specimen. + +The lifetimers of most people were the classic shape that Death thought +was right and proper for the task. They appeared to be large eggtimers, +although, since the sands they measured were the living seconds of +someone's life, all the eggs were in one basket. + +Rincewind's hourglass looked like something created by a glassblower who'd +had hiccups in a time machine. According to the amount of actual sand it +contained--and Death was pretty good at making this kind of estimate--he +should have died long ago. But strange curves and bends and extrusions of +glass had developed over the years, and quite often the sand was flowing +backwards, or diagonally. Clearly, Rincewind had been hit by so much +magic, had been thrust reluctantly through time and space so often that +he'd nearly bumped into himself coming the other way, that the precise end +of his life was now as hard to find as the starting point on a roll of +really sticky transparent tape. + +Death was familiar with the concept of the eternal, ever-renewed hero, the +champion with a thousand faces. He'd refrained from commenting. He met +heroes frequently, generally surrounded by, and this was important, the +dead bodies of /very nearly/ all of their enemies and saying, "Vot the hell +shust happened?" Whether there was some arrangement that allowed them to +come back again afterwards was not something he would be drawn on. + +But he pondered whether, if this creature /did/ exist, it was somehow +balanced by the eternal coward. The hero with a thousand retreating backs, +perhaps. Many cultures had a legend of an undying hero who would one day +rise again, so perhaps the balance of nature called for one who wouldn't. + +Whatever the ultimate truth of the matter, the fact now was that Death did +not have the slightest idea of when Rincewind was going to die. This was +very vexing to a creature who prided himself on his punctuality. + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 61 +%passage 8 +A black and white bird appeared, and perched on his head. + +"You know what to do," said the old man. + +"Him? What a wonga," said the bird. "I've been lookin' at him. He's not +even heroic. He's just in the right place at the right time." + +The old man indicated that this was maybe the definition of a hero. + +"All right, but why not go and get the thing yerself?" said the bird. + +"You've gotta have heroes," said the old man. + +"And I suppose I'll have to help," said the bird. It sniffed, which is +quite hard to do through a beak. + +"Yep. Off you go." + +The bird shrugged, which /is/ easy to do if you have wings, and flew down +off the old man's head. It didn't land on the rock but flew into it; for +a moment there was a drawing of a bird, and then if faded. + +Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men +that make gods. This explains a lot. + +The old man sat down and waited. + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 186 +%passage 9 +She had a very straightforward view of foreign parts, or at least those +more distant than her sister's house in Quirm where she spent a week's +holiday every year. They were inhabited by people who were more to be +pitied than blamed because, really, they were like children.(1) And they +acted like savages.(2) + +(1) That is to say, she secretly considered them to be vicious, selfish +and untrustworthy. + +(2) Again, when people like Mrs. Whitlow use this term they are not, for +some inexplicable reason, trying to suggest that the subjects have a rich +oral tradition, a complex system of tribal rights and a deep respect for +the spirits of their ancestors. They are implying the kind of behavior +more generally associated, oddly enough, with people wearing a full suit +of clothes, often with the same sort of insignia. + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 187 (last paragraph truncated) +%passage 10 +"I suppose he wouldn't have done anything stupid, would he?" he said. + +"Archchancellor, Ponder Stibbons is a fully trained wizard!" said the Dean. + +"Thank you for that very concise and definite answer, Dean," said Ridcully. + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 4 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# pp. 113-114 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 11 +"This is certainly a very... /original/ cart," said Rincewind. + +"Got a few modifications of my own," said Mad. He grinned evilly. "You a +wizard, mister?" + +"Broadly speaking, yes." + +"Any good?" Mad was loading another crossbow. + +Rincewind hesitated. "No," he said. + +"Lucky for you," said Mad. "I'd have killed you if you were. Can't stand +wizards. Bunch of wowsers, right?" + +He grasped the handles of the bent stovepipe and swiveled it around. + +"Here they come," he muttered. + +Rincewind peered over the top of Mad's head. There was a piece of mirror +in the bend of the pipe. It showed the road behind, and half a dozen dots +under another cloud of red dust. + +"Road gang," said Mad. "After my cargo. Steal anything, they will. All +bastards are bastards, but some bastards is /bastards/." [...] + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 246-247 (Ponder Stibbins had stayed behind, then changed his mind and +# isn't wearing his robe after swimming to catch up with the +# senior wizards' boat; Ridcully is smoking a pipe) +%passage 12 +"And, while it is good to see you, Stibbins, albeit rather more of you +than I would usually care to contemplate, I am moved to ask why you are, +in fact, here." + +"I suddenly felt it would be unfair to deprive the University of my +services, sir." + +"Really? A sudden rush of nostalgia for the old alma mater, eh?" + +"You could say that, sir." + +Ridcully's eyes twinkled behind the smoke and, not for the first time, +Ponder suspected that the man was sometimes rather cleverer than he +appeared. It would not be hard. + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 263 (Rincewind is going to be executed the next day; a previous prisoner +# who was well known for multiple escapes had scratched "look at the +# hinges" on the cell's wall--the cell's door just lifts off) +%passage 13 +At moments like this cowardice was an exact science. There were times +that called for mindless, terror-filled panic, and times that called for +measured, considered, /thoughtful/ panic. Right now he was in a place of +safety. It was, admittedly, the death cell, but the point was that it +was perhaps the one place in this country where nothing bad was going to +happen for a little while. The Ecksians didn't look like the kind of +people who went in for torture, although it was always possible that they +might make him eat some more of their food. So, for the moment, he had +/time/. Time to plan ahead, to consider his next move, to apply his +intellect to the problem at hand. + +He stared at the wall for a moment, then stood up and gripped the bars. + +Right. That seemed to be about long enough. Now to run like hell. + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 333-334 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph; Rincewind +# has asked whether a haunted brewery might have been built on a +# site that's sacred to indigenous people; the answer is no) +%passage 14 +"[...] Some chief went to prison to see the prime minister and said, +'Mate, your mob can dig it all up and drop it over the edge of the world, +no worries.'" + +"Why did he have to go to prison?" + +"We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they're elected. Don't +you?" + +"Why?" + +"It saves time. [...]" + + [The Last Continent, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Carpe Jugulum (12) +# p. 10 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 1 +Agnes tended to obey rules. Perdita didn't. Perdita thought that not +obeying rules was somehow cool. Agnes thought that rules like "Don't fall +into this huge pit of spikes" were there for a purpose. [...] + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 2 (example of the silliness and incomprehensability of the +# Nac mac Feegle [aka pictsies, pict + pixie]; fortunately their +# speech doesn't constitute much of the book's dialogue) +%passage 2 +"Nac mac Feegle!" + +"Ach, stickit yer trakkans!" + +"Gie you sich a kickin'!" + +"Bigjobs!" + +"Dere c'n onlie be whin t'ousand!" + +"Nac mac Feegle wha hae!" + +"Wha hae yersel, ya boggin!" + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 28 (from a discussion about whether Omnian priests still burn witches) +%passage 3 +"Hah! The leopard does not change his shorts, my girl!" + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 133 +%passage 4 +Things were not what they seemed. But then, as Granny always said, they +never were. + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 254-255 ("verra comp-lic-ated" is accurate) +%passage 5 +"How can I ever repay you?" he said. + +The pixie's eyes gleamed happily. + +"Oh, there's a wee bitty thing the Carlin' Ogg said you could be givin' us, +hardly important at all," he said. + +"Anything," said Verence. + +A couple of pixies came up staggering under a rolled-up parchment, which +was unfolded in front of Verence. The old pixie was suddenly holding a +quill pen. + +"It's called a signature," he said, as Verence stared at the tiny +handwriting. "An' make sure ye initial all the sub-clauses and codicils. +We of the Nac mac Feegle are a simple folk," he added, "but we write verra +comp-lic-ated documents." + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 326 (Igor's lisp of "th" for "s" makes this /look/ intentionally archaic +# although it wouldn't be pronounced that way) +%passage 6 +"What goeth around, cometh around," said Igor. + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 336-337 (the plot is driven by the actions of a family of vampyres +# who do mostly cooperate with each other) +%passage 7 +Vampires are not naturally cooperative creatures. It's not in their nature. +Every other vampire is a rival for the next meal. In fact, the ideal +situation for a vampire is a world in which every other vampire has been +killed off and no one seriously believes in vampires anymore. They are by +nature as cooperative as sharks. + +Vampyres are just the same, the only real difference being that they can't +spell properly. + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 338 +%passage 8 +"Be resolute, my dear," said the Count. "Remember--that which does not +kill us can only make us stronger." + +"And that which /does/ kill us leaves us /dead/!" snarled Lacrimosa. "You +saw what happened to the others! /You/ got your fingers burned!." + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 4 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 24 (ellipsis occurs at start of paragraph; Quite Reverend Oats has opened +# /The Book of Om/ at random and is reading the passage found there) +%passage 9 +"... silence is an answer that begs three more questions. Seek and you will +find, but first you should know what you seek." + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 71 (conversation between witches Nanny Ogg and Agnes Nitt; King Verance II +# of Lancre has invited a family of vampires from Uberwald, among many +# other guests, to attend his and Queen Magrat's baby's naming ceremony +# at midnight; Nanny has gotten their servant Igor drunk; he passed out) +%passage 10 +"But /vampires/... what's Granny going to say?" + +"Listen, my girl. They'll be gone by tomorrow... well today, really. We'll +just keep an eye on 'em and wave 'em goodbye when they go." + +"We don't even know what they look like!" + +Nanny looked at the recumbant Igor. + +"On reflection, maybe, I should've asked him." she said. She brightened up. +"Still, there's one way to find them. There's something everyone knows +about vampires..." + +In fact there are many things everyone knows about vampires, without really +taking into account that perhaps the vampires known them by now, too. + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 297 (Granny Weatherwax has just regained consciousness after nearly +# freezing to death and has figured out that Oats has used his copy of +# /The Book of Om/ as fuel for a campfire to save her) +%passage 11 +"Good thing you were able to get a fire going, all the same," she said, +without turning around. + +"I have always found that if I put my trust in Om a way will be found," +said Oats, hurrying after her. + +"I reckon Om helps those who helps themselves," said Granny. + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 316 ("He" is Shawn Ogg, Lancre's one-man army [because they haven't +# needed more rather than because of competence on his part]) +%passage 12 +He was trying to find some help in the ancient military journals of General +Tacticus, whose intelligent campaigning had been so successful that he'd +lent his very name to the detailed prosecution of martial endeavor, and had +actually found a section headed What to Do If One Army Occupies a Well- +fortified and Superior Ground and the Other Does Not, but since the first +sentence read "Endeavor to be the one inside" he'd rather lost heart. + + [Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title The Fifth Elephant (12) +# p. 25 (Harper Torch edition) [passage starts mid-paragraph] +%passage 1 +You did something because it had always been done, and the explanation +was "but we've /always/ done it this way." A million dead people can't +have been wrong, can they? + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 233 (this is a footnote) +%passage 2 +He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: It fascinated +people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and +interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they +created vast banquets in their imagination--but at the end of the day +they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips, if it was well done and +maybe had a slice of tomato. + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 80-81 ('[...]' represents more than a full page which has been omitted; +# passage ends mid-paragraph; +# the pigeon is trained to carry messages for the Watch) +%passage 3 +Constable Shoe saluted, but a little testily. He'd been waiting rather a +long time. + +"Afternoon, Sergeant--" + +"That's Captain," said Captain Colon. "See the pip on my shoulder, Reg?" + +Reg looked closely. "I thought it was bird doings, Sarge." + +"That's Captain," said Colon Automatically. "It's only chalk now because +I ain't got time to get it done properly," he said, "so don't be cheeky." + +[...] + +A pigeon chose that diplomatic moment to flutter into the factory and land +on Colon's shoulder, where it promoted him. [...] + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 187 +%passage 4 +The wheels clattered over the wood of a drawbridge. + +As castles went, this looked as though it could be taken by a small squad +of not very efficient soldiers. Its builder had not been thinking about +fortifications. He'd been influenced by fairy tales and possibly by some +of the more ornamental sorts of cake. It was a castle for looking at. +For defense, putting a blanket over your head might be marginally safer. + +The coach stopped in the courtyard. [...] + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 229 +%passage 5 +"What a mess," he said. "Locked-room mysteries are even worse when they +leave the room unlocked." + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 246 ([sic] 'rules for which he termed "the art..."' seems like it +# ought to have been 'rules for _what_ he termed "the art..."') +%passage 6 +He punched the dwarf in the stomach. This was no time to play by the +Marquis of Fantailler rules.(1) + +(1) The Marquis of Fantailler got into many fights in his youth, most of +them as a result of being known as the Marquis of Fantailler, and wrote +a set of rules for which he termed "the noble art of fisticuffs" which +mostly consisted of a list of places where people weren't allowed to hit +him. Many people were impressed with his work and later stood with noble +chest outthrust and fists balled in a spirit of manly aggression against +people who hadn't read the Marquis's book but /did/ know how to knock +people senseless with a chair. The last words of a surprisingly large +number of people were "Stuff the bloody Marquis of Fantailler--" + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 251 +%passage 7 +Vimes shivered. He hadn't realized how warm it had been underground. Or +what time it was. There was a dim, a very dim light. Was this just after +sunset? What it almost dawn? + +The flakes were piling up on his damp clothes, driven by the wind. + +Freedom could get you killed. + +Shelter ... that was /essential/. The time of day and a precise location +were of no use to the dead. They always knew what time it was and where +they were. + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 267 +%passage 8 +GOOD MORNING. + +Vimes blinked. A tall dark-robed figure was now sitting in the boat. + +"Are you Death?" + +IT'S THE SCYTHE, ISN'T IT. PEOPLE ALWAYS NOTICE THE SCYTHE. + +"I'm going to die?" + +POSSIBLY. + +"/Possibly/? You turn up when people are /possibly/ going to die?" + +OH YES. IT'S QUITE THE NEW THING. IT'S BECAUSE OF THE UNCERTAINTY +PRINCIPLE. + +"What's that?" + +I'M NOT SURE. + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 288 [sic: missing 4th '.' at end] +%passage 9 +"Are you in charge of the Watch here?" + +"No. That's the job of the Burgermaster." + +"And who gives him /his/ orders?" + +"Everyone," said Tantony bitterly. Vimes nodded. Been there, he thought. +Been there, done that, bought the doublet... + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 3 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# pp. 34-35 (a footnote about Cpl Nobbs lately dressing as a woman omitted) +%passage 10 +Corporal Cheery Littlebottom pronounced her name "Cheri." She was a she, +and therefore a rare bloom in Ankh-Morpork. + +It wasn't that dwarfs weren't interested in sex. They saw the vital need +for fresh dwarfs to leave their goods to and continue the mining work +after they had gone. It was simply that they also saw no point in +distinguishing between the sexes anywhere but in private. There was no +such thing as a Dwarfish female pronoun or, once the children were on +solids, any such thing as women's work. + +Then Cheery Littlebottom had arrived in Ankh-Morpork, and had seen that +there were men out there who did /not/ wear chain mail or leather +underwear(1), but /did/ wear interesting colors and exciting makeup, and +these men were called "women." + +And in the little bullet head the thought had arisen: "Why not me?" + +Now she was being denounced in cellars and dwarf bars across the city as +the first dwarf in Ankh-Morpork to wear a skirt. It was hard-wearing +brown leather and as objectively erotic as a piece of wood but, as some +older dwarfs would point out, somewhere under there were his /knees/.(2) + +(1) At least of the sort /she/ normally wore. + +(2) They couldn't bring themselves to utter the word "her." + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 38 (omitted portion spans two separate sentences; pasg ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 11 +Uberwald [...] was mostly so thickly forested, so creased by little +mountain ranges and beset by rivers, that it was largely unmapped. It +was mostly unexplored, too.(1) + +(1) At least, by proper explorers. Just living there doesn't count. + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 219 (passage begins mid-sentence) +%passage 12 +[...] Sam Vimes had learned a lot from watching Lady Sybil. She didn't +mean to act like that, but she'd been born to it, into a class which had +always behaved this way: You went through the world as if there was +/no possibility/ that anyone would stop you or question you, and most of +the time that's exactly what didn't happen. + + [The Fifth Elephant, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title The Truth (13) +# p. 21 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 1 +There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are +those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this +glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half +empty. + +The world /belongs/, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: +What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse /me/? /This/ is my glass? +I don't /think/ so. My glass was full! /And/ it was a bigger glass! +Who's been pinching my beer? + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 5 +%passage 2 +The world is made up of four elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. This +is a fact well known even to Corporal Nobbs. It's also wrong. There's a +fifth element, and generally it's called Surprise. + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 1-2 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 3 +The rumor spread through the city like wildfire (which had quite often +spread through Ankh-Morpork since its citizens had learned the words "fire +insurance"). + +/The dwarfs can turn lead into gold.../ + +[...] + +It reached the pointy ears of the dwarfs. + +"Can we?" + +"Damned if I know. /I/ can't." + +"Yeah, but if you could, you wouldn't say. /I/ wouldn't say, if /I/ could. + +"Can you?" + +"No." + +"/Ah-ha!/" + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 10 ('mucky' is accurate) +%passage 4 +It would seem quite impossible, on such a mucky night, that there could +have been anyone to witness this scene. + +But there was. The universe requires everything to be observed, lest it +cease to exist. + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 19 +%passage 5 +Very occasionally, a frog was removed from the vivarium and put into a +rather smaller jar where it briefly became a very happy frog indeed, and +then went to sleep and woke up in that great big jungle in the sky. + +And thus the university got the active ingredient that it made up into +pills and fed to the Bursar, to keep him sane. At least, /apparently/ +sane, because nothing was that simple at good old UU. In fact he was +incurably insane and hallucinated more or less continually, but by a +remarkable stroke of lateral thinking his fellow wizards had reasoned, in +that case, that the whole business could be sorted out if only they could +find a formula that caused him to /hallucinate that he was completely +sane/.(1) + +This had worked well. [...] + +(1) This is a very common hallucination, shared by most people. + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 107-108 ('zis', 'zat', 'vhich', 'Latation' are all accurate) +%passage 6 +"Er ... why do you need to work in a darkroom, though?" he said. "The imps +don't need it, do they?" + +"Ah, zis is for my experiment," said Otto proudly. "You know zat another +term for an iconographer would be 'photographer'? From the old word +'photus' in Latation, vhich means--" + +"To prance around like an idiot ordering everyone about as if you owned the +place," said William. + +"Ah, you know it!" + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 100 +%passage 7 +"Vy are ve stoppink?" said Otto. + +"That's Sergeant Detritus on the gate," said William. + +"Ah. A troll. Very stupid," opined Otto. + +"But hard to fool. I'm afraid we shall have to try the truth." + +"Vy vill that vork?" + +"He's a policeman. The truth usually confuses them. They don't often +hear it." + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 290 +%passage 8 +Mr. Tulip raised a trembling hand. + +"Is this the bit where my whole life passes in front of my eyes?" he said. + +NO, THAT WAS THE BIT JUST NOW. + +"Which bit?" + +THE BIT, said Death, BETWEEN YOU BEING BORN AND YOU DYING. NO, THIS... +MR. TULIP, THIS IS YOUR WHOLE LIFE AS IT PASSED BEFORE /OTHER PEOPLE'S/ +EYES... + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 5 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 3 (two paragraphs in the middle skipped) +%passage 9 +And the rumor came to the ears of William de Worde, and in a sense it +stopped there, because he dutifully wrote it down. + +It was his job. Lady Margolotta of Uberwald sent him five dollars a month +to do it. The Dowager Duchess of Quirm also sent him five dollars. So +did King Verence of Lancre, and a few other Ramtop notables. So did the +Seriph of Al-Khali, although in this case the payment was half a cartload +of figs, twice a year. + +[...] + +A young man without too many responsibilities could live modestly in +Ankh-Morpork on thirty or forty dollars a month; he always sold the figs, +because although it was possible to live on figs you soon wished you +didn't. + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 31 +%passage 10 +"And these are your reasons, my lord?" + +"Do you think I have others?" said Lord Vetenari. "My motives, as ever, +are entirely transparent." + +Hughnon reflected that "entirely transparent" meant either that you could +see right through them or couldn't see them at all. + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 59-60 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 11 +The Firm had, indeed, not operated in Ankh-Morpork before. Mr. Pin had +kept away because, well, there were plenty of other cities, and an +instinct for survival had told him that the Big Wahooni(1) should wait +a while. [...] + +(1) The world's rarest and most evil-smelling vegetable, and consequently +much prized by connoisseurs (who seldom prize anything cheap and common). +Also a slang term for Ankh-Morpork, although it does not smell as bad as +that. + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 87-88 ('it' is an imp inside the PDA; warranty text is in a smaller font +# than the rest of text; page 297 has more conditions, effectively +# impossible to comply with, applying to transfer of ownership) +%passage 12 +"Good for you!" it said. "You have wisely purchased the Dis-organizer +Mk II, the latest in biothaumaturgic design, with a host of useful +features and no resemblance whatsoever to the Mk I, which you may have +inadvertently destroyed by stamping on it heavily!" it said, adding, +"This device is provided without warranty of any kind as to reliability, +accuracy, existence or otherwise or fitness for any particular purpose +and Bioalchemic Products specifically does not warrant, guarantee, imply +or make any representations as to its merchantability for any particular +purpose and furthermore shall have no liability for or responsibility to +you or any other person, entity or deity with respect to any loss or +damage whatsoever caused by this device or object or by any attempts to +destroy it by hammering it against a wall or dropping it into a deep well +or by any other means whatsoever and moreover asserts that you indicate +your acceptance of this agreement or any other agreement that may be +substituted at any time by coming within five miles of the product or +observing it through large telescopes or by any other means because you +are such an easily cowed moron who will happily accept arrogant and +unilateral conditions on a piece of highly priced garbage that you would +not dream of accepting on a bag of dog biscuits and is used solely at +your own risk." + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 168 +%passage 13 +It looked to Sacharissa that the only tools a dwarf needed was his ax and +some means of making fire. That'd eventually get him a forge, and with +that he could make simple tools, and with those he could make /complex/ +tools, and with complex tools a dwarf could more or less make anything. + + [The Truth, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Thief of Time (14) +# p. 97 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 1 +"No running with scythes!" + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 24 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 2 +Silver stars weren't awarded frequently, and gold stars happened less +than once a fortnight, and were vied for accordingly. Right now, Miss +Susan selected a silver star. Pretty soon Vincent the Keen would have a +galaxy of his very own. To give him his due, he was quite disinterested +in which kind of star he got. Quantity, that was what he liked. Miss +Susan had privately marked him down as Boy Most Likely To Be Killed One +Day By His Wife. + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 53 ('... with the chorus:', '"Do not act...' are separate paragraphs; +# 'challenger' has been cowed after finding out that the little old +# man he challenged--for entering the dojo--is actually Lu-Tze) +%passage 3 +As Lobsang followed the ambling Lu-Tze, he heard the dojo master, who like +all teachers never missed an opportunity to drive home a lesson, say: +"Dojo! What is Rule One?" + +Even the cowering challenger mumbled along with the chorus: + +"Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling +man!" + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 74-75 (the novices didn't know that the little old man known as Sweeper +# is actually Lu-Tze; see passage 3 regarding Rule One) +%passage 4 +One day a group of senior novices, for mischief, kicked over the little +shrine that Lu-Tze kept beside his sleeping mat. + +Next morning, no sweepers turned up for work. They stayed in their huts +with the doors barred. After making inquiries, the abbot, who at that time +was fifty years old again, summoned the three novices to his room. There +were three brooms leaning against the wall. He spoke as follows: + +"You know that the dreadful Battle of Five Cities did not happen because +the messenger got there in time?" + +They did. You learned this early in your studies. And they bowed +nervously, because this was the abbot, after all. + +"And you know then that when the messenger's horse threw a shoe he espied +a man trudging beside the road carrying a small portable forge and pushing +an anvil on a barrow?" + +They knew. + +"And you know that man was Lu-tze?" + +They did. + +"Surely you know that Janda Trapp, Grand Master of /Oki-doki/, /Toro-fu/, +and /Chang-fu/, has only ever yielded to one man?" + +They knew. + +"And you know that man is Lu-Tze?" + +They did. + +"You know the little shrine you kicked over last night?" + +They knew. + +"You know it had an owner?" + +There was silence. Then the brightest of the novices looked up at the +abbot in horror, swallowed, picked up one of the three brooms, and walked +out of the room. + +The other two were slower of brain and had to follow the story all the way +through to the end. + +Then one of them said, "But it was only a sweeper's shrine!" + +"You will take up the brooms and sweep," said the abbot, "and you will +sweep every day, and you will sweep until the day you find Lu-Tze and dare +to say 'Sweeper, it was I who knocked over and scattered your shrine and +now I will in humility accompany you to the dojo on the Tenth Djim, in +order to learn the Right Way.' Only then, if you are still able, may you +resume your studies here. Understood?"(1) + +Older monks sometimes complained, but someone would always say: "Remember +that Lu-Tze's Way is not our Way. Remember he learned everything by +sweeping unheeded while students were being educated. Remember, he has +been everywhere and done many things. Perhaps he is a little... strange, +but remember he walked into a citadel full of armed men and traps and +nevertheless saw to it that the Pash of Muntab choked innocently on a fish +bone. No monk is better than Lu-Tze at finding the Time and the Place." + +Some, who did not know, would say: "What is this Way that gives him so +much power?" + +And they were told: "It is the Way of Mrs. Marietta Cosmopolite, 3 Quirm +Street, Ankh-Morpork, Rooms To Rent Very Reasonable. No, we don't +understand it, either. Some subsendential rubbish, apparently." + +(1) And the story continues: The novice who had protested that it was only +the shrine of a sweeper ran away from the temple; the student who said +nothing remained a sweeper for the rest of his life; and the student who +has seen the inevitable shape of the story went, after much agonizing and +several months of meticulous sweeping, to Lu-Tze and knelt and asked to be +shown the Right Way. Whereupon the sweeper took him to the dojo of the +Tenth Djim, with its terrible multibladed fighting machines and its +fearsome serrated weapons such as the /clong-clong/ and the /uppsi/. The +story runs that the sweeper then opened a cupboard at the back of the dojo +and produced a broom and spake thusly: "One hand /here/ and the other +/here/, understand? People never get it right. Use good, even strokes +and let the broom do most of the work. Never try to sweep up a big pile, +you'll end up sweeping every bit of dust twice. Use your dustpan wisely, +and remember: a small brush for the corners." + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 102 ('coming here': to the remote mountains where the monks live) +%passage 5 +"But did not Wen say that if the truth is anywhere, it is everywhere?" said +Lobsang. + +"Well done. I see you learned /something/, at least. But one day it +seemed to me that everyone else had decided that wisdom can only be found a +long way off. So I went to Ankh-Morpork. They were all coming here, so it +seemed only fair. + +"Seeking /enlightenment/?" + +"No. The wise man does not seek enlightenment, he waits for it. So while +I was waiting, it occurred to me that seeking perplexity might be more +fun," said Lu-Tze. "After all, enlightenment begins where perplexity ends. +And I found perplexity. And a kind of enlightenment, too. I had not been +there for five minutes, for example, when some men in an alley tried to +enlighten me of what little I possessed, giving me a valuable lesson in +the ridiculousness of material things." + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 286 (food in general, and chocolate in particular, has proven to be an +# effective 'weapon' against Auditors who've taken on human form) +%passage 6 +"Let's get up into Zephyr Street," said Susan. + +"What is there for us?" + +"Wienrich and Boettcher." + +"Who are they?" + +"I think the original Herr Wienrich and Frau Boettcher died a long time ago. +But the shop still does very good business," said Susan, darting across the +street. "We need ammunition." + +Lady LeJean caught up. + +"Oh. They make chocolate?" she said. + +"Does a bear poo in the woods?" said Susan and realized her mistake right +away.(1) + +Too late. Lady LeJean looked thoughtful for a moment. + +"Yes," she said at last. "Yes, I believe that most varieties do, indeed, +excrete, as you suggest, at least in the temperate zones, but there are +several that--" + +"I mean to say that, yes, they make chocolate," said Susan. + +(1) Teaching small children for any length of time can do this to a +vocabulary. + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 308 +%passage 7 +Kaos listened to history. + +There were new words. Wizards and philosophers had found Chaos, which is +Kaos with his hair combed and a tie on, and had found in the epitome of +disorder a new order undreamed of. /There are different kinds of rules./ +/From the simple comes the complex, and from the complex comes a different/ +/kind of simplicity. Chaos is order in a mask.../ + +Chaos. Not dark, ancient Kaos, left behind by the evolving universe, but +new, shiny Chaos, dancing in the heart of everything. The idea was +strangely attractive. And it was a reason to go on living. + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 355 (starts mid-paragraph, with a clause about eating in class omitted) +%passage 8 +[...] Susan [...] took the view that, if there were rules, they applied to +everyone, even her. Otherwise they were merely tyranny. But rules were +there to make you think before you broke them. + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 6 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 80 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 9 +Well, she was partly immortal, and that was all there was to it. She could +see things that were really there(1) [...] + +(1) Which is much harder than seeing things that /aren't/ there. /Everyone/ +does that. + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 82 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 10 +[...] Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. +If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying +"End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH," the paint wouldn't even +have time to dry. + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 115 (passage ends mid-paragraph; Lobsang's "there" is inside the area +# below, where a hole in the wall leads; Lu-Tze is already inside and +# his "there" is outside where he just was and Lobsang still is) +%passage 11 +"But novices aren't allowed in there under pain of death!" + +"That's a coincidence," said Lu-Tze, lowering himself to the tips of his +fingers. "Because death is what awaits you if you stay out there, too." + +He dropped into the darkness. A moment later there was an unenlightened +curse from below. + +Lobsang climbed in, hung by his fingertips, dropped, and rolled when he hit +the floor below. + +"Well done," said Lu-Tze in the gloom. "When in doubt, choose to live." + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 132 (passage starts mid-paragraph; the abbot's recent reincarnation is +# still an infant) +%passage 12 +"[...] I mean, mentally he's nine hundred years old." + +"That must make him very wise." + +"Pretty wise, pretty wise. But age and wisdom don't necessarily go +together, I've always found," said Lu-Tze, as they approached the abbot's +rooms. "Some people just become stupid with more authority. Not his +Reverence, of course." + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 144 (two instances of singular "Igor" for the person then two plural +# "Igors" for his clan is accurate) +%passage 13 +Igor didn't much like the clock. He was a /people/ person. He preferred +things that bled. And as the clock grew, with its shimmering crystal parts +that didn't seem entirely all /here/, so Jeremy grew more absorbed and Igor +grew more tense. There was definitely something new happening here, and +Igors were avid to learn new things. But there were limits. Igors did not +believe in "Forbidden Knowledge" and "Things Man Was Not Meant to Know" but +obviously there were /some/ things a man was not meant to know, such as +what it felt like to have every single particle of your body sucked into a +little hole, and that seemed to be one of the options available in the +immediate future. + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 170 ('spake' is accurate, as is ending the first paragraph with a colon) +%passage 14 +/In the Second Scroll of Wen the Eternally Surprised/, a story is written +concerning one day when the apprentice Clodpool, in a rebellious mood, +approached Wen and spake thusly: + +"Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of +belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical +system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on +the spur of the moment?" + +Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: "A fish!" + +And Clodpool went away, satisfied. + + [Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# The Last Hero has never been released in the U.S. (or anywhere?) as a +# conventional mass market paperback. The large (roughly 10" by 12") +# trade paperback contains many full page color illustrations and most +# text pages include decorations of varying degrees of elaborateness. +# The actual text is probably only novella length. +# +%title The Last Hero (13) +# p. 41 (EOS edition) +%passage 1 +Too many people, when listing all the perils to be found in the search +for lost treasure or ancient wisdom, had forgotten to put at the top of +the list 'the man who arrived just before you'. + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 5 +# second paragraph is a bit "on the nose" but is too good to leave out +%passage 2 +The reason for the story was a mix of many things. There was humanity's +desire to do forbidden deeds merely because they were forbidden. +There was its desire to find new horizons and kill the people who live +beyond them. There were the mysterious scrolls. There was the cucumber. +But mostly there was the knowledge that one day, it would all be over. + +'Ah, well, life goes on,' people say when someone dies. But from the +point of view of the person who has just died, it doesn't. It's the +universe that goes on. Just as the deceased was getting the hang of +everything it's all whisked away, by illness or accident or, in one +case, a cucumber. Why this has to be is one of the imponderables of +life, in the face of which people either start to pray... +or become really, really angry. + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 19 +%passage 3 +'And they're /heroes/,' said Mr Betteridge of the Guild of Historians. + +'And that means, exactly?' said the Patrician, sighing. + +'They're good at doing what they want to do.' + +'But they are also, as I understand it, very old men.' + +'Very old /heroes/,' the historian corrected him. 'That just means +they've had a lot of /experience/ in doing what they want to do. + +Lord Vetinari sighed again. He did not like to live in a world of +heroes. You had civilisation, such as it was, and you had heroes. + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 25 +%passage 4 +They were, all of them, old men. Their background conversation was +a litany of complaints about feet, stomachs and backs. They moved +slowly. But they had a /look/ about them. It was in their eyes. + +Their eyes said that wherever it was, they had been there. Whatever +it was, they had done it, sometimes more than once. But they would +never, ever, /buy/ the T-shirt. And they /did/ know the meaning of +the word 'fear'. It was something that happened to other people. + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 97 +%passage 5 +Captain Carrot saluted. 'Force is always the last resort, sir,' he said. + +'I believe for Cohen it's the first choice,' said Lord Vetinari. + +'He's not too bad if you don't come up behind him suddenly,' said Rincewind. + +'Ah, there is the voice of our mission specialist,' said the Patrician. +'I just hope-- What is that on your badge, Captain Carrot?' + +'Mission motto, sir,' said Carrot cheerfully. '/Morituri Nolumus Mori/. +Rincewind suggested it.' + +'I imagine he did,' said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard coldly. +'And would you care to give us a colloquial translation, Mr Rincewind?' + +'Er...' Rincewind hesitated, but there really was no escape. 'Er... +roughly speaking, it means, "We who are about to die don't want to", sir.' + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 125 (near top, then continued half way down) +%passage 6 +'A good wizard, Rincewind,' said the Chair of Indefinite Studies. 'Not +particularly bright, but, frankly, I've never been quite happy with +intelligence. An overrated talent, in my humble opinion.' + +Ponder's ears went red. + +[...] + +'Mr Stibbons was right, was he?' said Ridcully, staring at Ponder. 'How +did you work that out so /exactly/, Mr Stibbons?' + +'I, er...' Ponder felt the eyes of the wizards on him. 'I--' He stopped. +'It was a lucky guess, sir.' + +The wizards relaxed. They were extremely uneasy with cleverness, but +lucky guessing was what being a wizard was all about. + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 146 +%passage 7 +Evil Harry looked down and shuffled his feet, his face a battle between +pride and relief. + +'Good of you to say that, lads,' he mumbled. 'I mean, you know, if it +was up to me I wouldn't do this to yer, but I got a reputation to--' + +'I said we /understand/,' said Cohen. 'It's just like with us. You see +a big hairy thing galloping towards you, you don't stop to think: Is +this a rare species on the point of extinction? No, you hack its head +off. 'Cos that's heroing, am I right? An' /you/ see someone, you +betray 'em, quick as a wink. 'Cos that's villaining.' + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# +# 6 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 16 +%passage 8 +The wizards began to gather around the device. + +'Can you see into the future?' said Lord Vetinari. + +'In /theory/ yes, sir.' said Ponder. 'But that would be highly... well, +inadvisable, you see, because initial studies indicate that the fact of +observation would collapse the waveform in phase space.' + +Not a muscle moved on the Patrician's face. + +'Pardon me, I'm a little out of date on faculty staff,' he said. 'Are you +the one who has to take the dried frog pills?' + +'No, sir. That's the Bursar, sir,' said Ponder. 'He has to have them +because he's insane, sir.' + +'Ah,' said Lord Vetinari, and now he /did/ have an expression. It was that +of a man resolutely refraining from saying what was on his mind. + +'What Mr Stibbons /means/, my lord,' said the Archancellor, 'is that there +are billions and billions of futures that, er, /sort of/ exist, d'yer see? +They're all... the possible /shapes/ of the future. But apparently the +first one you actually /look/ at is the one that /becomes/ the future. +It might not be one you'd like. Apparently it's all to do with the +Uncertainty Principle.' + +'And that is...' + +'I'm not sure. Mr Stibbons is the one who knows about that sort of thing.' + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 31 (Leonard of Quirm is heading up a project for Lord Vetinari and +# describing requirements) +%passage 9 +[...] + +'And the help of, oh, sixty apprentices and journeymen from the Guild of +Cunning Artificers. Perhaps there should be a hundred. They will need to +work round the clock.' + +'Apprentices? But I can see to it that the finest craftsmen--' + +Leonard held up a hand. + +'Not craftsmen, my lord,' he said. 'I have no use for people who have +learned the limits of the possible.' + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 80 +%passage 10 +'I'd rather die than sign my name,' said Boy Willie. + +'I'd rather face a dragon,' said Caleb. 'One of the proper old ones, too, +not the fireworky ones you get today.' + +'Once they get you signin' your name, they've got you where they want you,' +said Cohen. + +'Too many letters,' said Truckle. 'All different shapes, too. I always +put an X.' + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 97 +%passage 11 +He hesitated. Lord Vetinari was not a man who delighted in the technical. +There were two cultures, as far as he was concerned. One was the real +one, the other was occupied by people who liked machinery and ate pizza +at unreasonable hours. + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 122 (/Kite/ is the ship's name) +%passage 12 +On the /Kite/, the situation was being 'workshopped.' This is the means by +which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance. + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e passage +# p. 161 (Carrot and Rincewind are wondering about the fate of Cohen and +# "the Silver Horde" who seem to have plummeted to certain death) +%passage 13 +'There's always hope.' + +'So? There's always taxes, too. It doesn't make any /difference/. + +Carrot sighed and straightened up. 'I wish you weren't right.' + + [The Last Hero, written by Terry Pratchett, illustrated by Paul Kidby] +%e title +# +# +# _The_Amazing_Maurice_and_His_Educated_Rodents_ (sometimes spelled with +# "his" uncapitalized--the book itself uses all uppercase on both the +# cover and the title page so doesn't help resolve which is correct...) +# was the first of six Discworld books marketed for "Young Adults" (at +# least in the US), ages 12 to 16 give or take, so tended to be stocked +# on different shelves from the rest of Discworld in book stores and +# libraries. In the UK, _The_Amazing_Maurice..._ won the Carnegie Medal +# which is awarded for best children's book of the year. +# (The other Young Adult Discworld books are the five Tiffany Aching ones.) +# +# "Mr so-called Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents!" (the characters +# rather than the book named for them) were first mentioned--in passing +# rather than part of the story--about 1/3 of the way through _Reaper_Man_. +# (p. 115, ROC edition; the text there does capitalize 'His'; 'Mr' without +# period is accurate; the exclamation is derogatory). +# +# _The_Amazing_Maurice..._ may well be the most serious Discworld book. +# (Don't worry, it has lots of humor/humour in it....) +# +%title The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents (14) +# p. 68 (Harperteen edition; _Mr._Bunnsy_Has_an_Adventure_ is a book +# within the book, and a brief quote is shown at the beginning +# of each chapter. This one is from the start of chapter 4.) +%passage 1 +The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they +shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes. + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 9 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 2 +"Stealing from a thief isn't stealing, 'cos it cancels out." + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 11-12 (rats became intelligent from eating wizards' trash just outside +# one of the walls of Unseen University; Maurice insists that he +# never did that, implying that he'd eaten some of the rats instead +# [never explicitly stated] before he became intelligent himself) +%passage 3 +They said he was amazing. The Amazing Maurice, they said. He'd never +meant to be amazing. It just happened. + +He'd realized something was odd that day, just after lunch, when he'd +looked into a reflection in a puddle and thought, /that's me/. He'd never +been /aware/ of himself before. Of course it was hard to remember /how/ +he'd thought before becoming amazing. It seemed to him that his mind had +been just a kind of soup. + +And then there had been the rats, who lived under the rubbish heap in one +corner of his territory. He'd realized there was something educated +about the rats when he'd jumped on one and it'd said, "Can we talk about +this?" and part of his amazing new brain had told him you couldn't eat +someone who could talk. At least, not until you'd heard what it'd got +to say. + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 32 (Maurice the cat, Keith the human boy, and the intelligent rat clan are +# in the town of Bad Blintz; people are queuing up for rationed food) +%passage 4 +"Shall we line up too?" asked the kid. + +"I shouldn't think so," said Maurice carefully. + +"Why not?" + +"See those men on the door? They look like the Watch. They've got big +truncheons. And everyone's showing them a bit of paper as they go past. +I don't like the look of that," said Maurice. "That looks like +/government/ to me." + +"We haven't done anything wrong," said the kid. "Not here, anyway." + +"You never know, with governments," said Maurice. "Just stay here kid. +I'll take a look." + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 52 (speaker is Darktan, the traps expert; "Number One" platoon seems +# like an obvious joke here--missed deliberately or accidentally?) +%passage 5 +"All right, Number Three platoon, you're on widdling duty," he said. "Go +and have a good drink." + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 110 (opening quote for chapter 6) +%passage 6 +There were big adventures and small adventures, Mr. Bunnsy knew. You +didn't get told what size they were going to be before you started. +Sometimes you could have a big adventure even when you were standing +still. + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 127-128 (searching for a secret door...) +%passage 7 +Malicia leaned against the wall with incredible nonchalance. + +There was not a click. A panel in the floor did not slide back. + +"Probably the wrong place," she said. "I'll just rest my arm innocently +on this coat hook." + +A sudden door in the wall completely failed to happen. + +"Of course, it'd help if there was an ornate candlestick," said Malicia. +"They're always a surefire secret-passage lever. Every adventurer knows +that." + +"There isn't a candlestick," said Maurice. + +"I know. Some people totally fail to have any /idea/ of how to design a +proper secret passage," said Malicia. She leaned against another piece +of wall, which had no affect whatsoever. + +"I don't think you'll find it that way," said Keith, who was carefully +examining a trap. + +"Oh? Won't I?" said Malicia. "Well at least I'm being /constructive/ +about things! Where would you look, if you're such an expert?" + +"Why is there a rat hole in a rat catcher's shed?" said Keith. "It smells +of dead rats and wet dogs and poison. I wouldn't come near this place, +if I was a rat." + +Malicia glared at him. Then her face wrapped itself in an expression of +acute concentration, as if she was trying out several ideas in her head. + +"Ye-es," she said. "That usually works, in stories. It's often the stupid +person who comes up with the good idea by accident." + +She crouched down and peered into the hole. + +"There's a sort of little lever," she said. "I'll just give it a little +push...." + +There was a /clonk/ under the floor, part of it swung back, and Keith +dropped out of sight. + +"Oh, yes," said Malicia. "I thought something like that would probably +happen." + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 231 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 8 +He had to admit that he was cleverer at plans than at underground +navigation. He wasn't exactly lost, because cats never get lost. He +merely didn't know where everything else was. + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 298-300 (Keith has challenged the professional rat piper and offered +# to rid the town of rats for a much lower price; Sardines is +# one of the Educated Rodents, known for dancing all the time; +# "hwun/two/three/four/" is run-together "one /two/ three /four/"; +# quite a long passage primarily for the 'a bit more grimy' gag) +%passage 9 +[...] +"But first I shall need to borrow a pipe," Keith went on. + +"You haven't got one?" asked the mayor. + +"It got broken." + +Corporal Knopf nudged the mayor. "I've got a trombone from when I was in +the army," he said. "It won't take a moment to get it." + +The rat piper burst out laughing. + +"Doesn't that count?" asked the mayor, as Corporal Knopf hurried off. + +"What? A trombone for charming rats? No, no, let him try. Can't blame +a kid for trying. Good with a trombone, are you?" + +"I don't know," said Keith. + +"What do you mean, you don't know?" + +"I meant I've never played one. I'd be a lot happier with a flute, +trumpet, piccolo, cornet, or Lancre bagpipe, but I've seen people playing +the trombone, and it doesn't look too difficult. It's only an overgrown +trumpet, really." + +"Hah!" said the piper. "This I'd like to see--but not hear." + +The Watch came running back, rubbing a battered trombone with his sleave +and therefore making it just a bit more grimy. Keith took it, wiped the +mouthpiece, put it to his mouth, moved the slide a few times, and then +blew one long note. + +"Seems to work," he said. "I expect I can learn as I go along." He gave +the rat piper a brief smile. "Do you want to go first?" + +"You won't charm one rat with that mess, kid," said the piper, "but I'm +glad I'm here to see you try." + +Keith gave him a smile again, took a breath, and played. + +There was a tune there. The instrument squeaked and wheezed, because +Corporal Knopf had occasionally used the thing as a hammer, but there was +a tune, quite fast, almost jaunty. You could tap your feet to it. + +Someone tapped his feet to it. + +Sardines emerged from a crack in a nearby wall, going "hwun/two/three/four/" +under his breath. The crowd watched him dance ferociously across the +cobbles until he disappeared into a drain. Then they broke into applause. + +The piper looked at Keith. + +"Did that one have a /hat/ on?" he asked. + +"I didn't notice," said Keith. "Your go." + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 309-310 +%passage 10 +"You really /can/ talk? You can think?" asked the mayor. + +Darktan looked up at him. It had been a long night. He didn't want to +remember any of it. And now it was going to be a longer, harder day. +He took a deep breath. + +"Here's what I suggest," he said. "You pretend that rats can think, and +I'll promise to pretend that humans can think, too." + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 4 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 19 (passage begins mid-paragraph) +%passage 11 +If you knew what it was that people really, /really/ wanted, you very +nearly controlled them. + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 78 +%passage 12 +Sardines had pulled his straw hat out of his knapsack and was holding a +small walking stick. + +It was a /good/ routine, even Maurice had to admit. Some towns had +advertised for a rat piper the very first time he'd done it. People could +tolerate rats in the cream, and rats in the roof, and rats in the teapot, +but they drew the line at tap dancing. If you saw tap dancing-rats, you +were in big trouble. Maurice had reckoned that if only the rats could +play an accordion as well, they could do two towns a day. + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 113-114 (mentioned earlier, when Malicia's parents punish her, she's +# locked out of her bedroom to deny her access to her books) +%passage 13 +"Luckily I'm prepared for every eventuality," said Malicia, and reached +into her bag. There was a sound as of lumps of metal and bottles being +moved around. + +"What have you got in here?" said Maurice. "Everything?" + +"The grapnel and rope ladder take up a lot of room," said Malicia still +feeling around. "And then there's the big medicine kit, and the small +medicine kit, and the knife, and the other knife, and the sewing kit, and +the mirror for sending signals, and... these." + +She pulled out a small bundle of black cloth. When she unrolled it, +Maurice saw the gleam of metal. + +"Ah," he said. "Lock picks, right? I've seen burglars at work--" + +"Hairpins," said Malicia, selecting one. "Hairpins always work in the +books I've read. You just push one into the keyhole and twiddle. I have +a selection of prebent ones." + +Once again Maurice felt a little chill at the back of his head. They work +in /stories/, he thought. Oh dear me. + +"And how come you know so much about picking locks?" he said. + +"I told you, they lock me out of my room to punish me," said Malicia, +twiddling. + +Maurice /had/ seen thieves at work. Men breaking into buildings at night +hated to see dogs, but they didn't mind cats. Cats never attempted to +tear their throats out. And what thieves tended to have, he knew, were +complicated little tools that were used with great care and precision. +They didn't use stu-- + +/Click!/ + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 243 +%passage 14 +Bloodthirsty rats right behind you can give you wings. + + [The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Night Watch (12) +# p. 393 +%passage 1 +When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend. + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 2-4 (Harper Torch edition; omitted section describes how the student +# assassin, who has fallen off a booby-trapped shed roof into a +# cesspit, is on an assignment to try to get into position to +# target Vimes but not actually attack or try to kill him) +%passage 2 +"You're a bit young to be sent on this contract, aren't you?" said Vimes. + +"Not a contract, sir," said Jocasta, still paddling. + +"Come now, Miss Wiggs. The price on my head is at least--" + +"The Guild council put it in abeyance, sir," said the patient swimmer. +"You're off the register. They're not accepting contracts on you at +present." + +[...] + +"And quite a few of the traps drop you into something deadly," said Vimes. + +"Lucky for me that I fell into this one, eh, sir?" + +"Oh, that one's deadly too," said Vimes. "/Eventually/ deadly." He +sighed. He really wanted to discourage this sort of thing but... they'd +put him off the register? It wasn't that he'd /liked/ being shot at by +hooded figures in the temporary employ of his many and varied enemies, +but he'd always looked at it as some kind of vote of confidence. It +showed that he was annoying the rich and arrogant people who ought to be +annoyed. + +Besides, the Assassin's Guild was easy to outwit. They had strict rules, +which they followed quite honorably, and this was fine by Vimes, who, in +certain practical matters, had no rules whatever. + +Off the register, eh? The only other person not on it anymore, it was +rumored, was Lord Vetinari, the Patrician. The Assassins understood the +political game in the city better than anyone, and if they took you off +the register it was because they felt that your departure would not only +spoil the game but also smash the board. + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 12 (some trainee Watchmen have been taught a marching/running song by +# Sergeant Detritus, a troll; trolls count "one, two, many, lots" +# and evidently can't go any higher) +%passage 3 + "/Now we sing dis stupid song!/ + /Sing it as we run along!/ + /Why we sing dis we don't know!/ + /We can't make der words rhyme prop'ly!/" + "Sound off!" + "/One! Two!/" + "Sound off!" + "/Many! Lots!/" + "Sound off!" + "/Er... what?/" + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 137 +%passage 4 +Everyone was guilty of something. Vimes knew that. Every copper knew it. +That was how you maintained your authority--everyone, talking to a copper, +was secretly afraid you could see their guilty secret written on their +forehead. You couldn't, of course. But neither were you supposed to drag +someone off the street and smash their fingers with a hammer until they +told you what it was. + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 138 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 5 +[...] Doctor Lawn was wearing a face mask and holding a pair of very long +tweezers in his hand. + +"Yes?" + +"I'm going out," said Vimes. "Trouble?" + +"Not too bad. Slidey Harris was unlucky at cards last night, that's all. +Played the ace of hearts." + +"That's an unlucky card?" + +"It is if Big Tony knows he didn't deal it to you. But I'll soon have it +removed. [...]" + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 141 ('it' is a piece of paper concealed inside one of CMOT Dibbler's +# "meat" pies, partly eaten by Vimes but intended for someone else) +%passage 6 +He unfolded it. In smudged pencil, but still readable, it read: +/Morphic Street, 9 o'clock tonight. Password: Swordfish/. + +Swordfish? Every password was "swordfish"! Whenever anyone tried to +think of a word that no one would ever guess, they /always/ chose +"swordfish." It was just one of those strange quirks of the human mind. + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 345 (text actually has "worth more *that* AM$10,000"--obviously a typo) +%passage 7 +There were rules. When you had a Guild of Assassins, there had to be rules +that everyone knew and that were never, ever broken.(1) + +An Assassin, a real Assassin, had to look like one--black clothes, hood, +boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what +could anyone do but spend all day sitting in a small room with a loaded +crossbow pointed at the door? + +And they couldn't kill a man incapable of defending himself (although a +man worth more than AM$10,000 a year was considered automatically capable +of defending himself or at least of employing people who were). + +And they had to give the target a chance. + +(1) Sometimes, admittedly, for a given value of "never." + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 51 +%passage 8 +"We are here, and this is now." Constable Visit, a strict believer in +the Omnian religion, occasionally quoted from their holy book. Vimes +understood it to mean, in less exalted copperspeak, that you have to do +the job that is in front of you. + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 85 (Vimes fell through the roof of Unseen University's Library during +# a thunderstorm and ended up 30 years in the past; the Discworld's +# "history monks" aren't just observers and Lu-Tze wants to help +# Vimes get back to same time and circumstances that he came from) +%passage 9 +"Oh, for heavens' sake, Lu-Tze! This is completely unauthorized, you +know! We're supposed to prune out rogue history loops, not expend vast +amounts of time keeping them going!" + +"This one's important. We owe it to the man. It wasn't his fault we had +a temporal shattering just as he fell through the dome." + +"Two timelines running side by side," moaned Qu. "That's quite +unacceptable, you know. I'm having to use techniques that are completely +untried." + +"Yes, but it's only a few days." + +"What about Vimes? Is he strong enough? He's got no training for this!" + +"He defaults to being a copper. A copper's a copper, wherever he is." + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 198 (young assassin is Vetinari, well before he eventually becomes +# Patrician; Sam Vimes is living as John Keel, a Watch sergeant, +# and among other things, training his younger self to be a Watchman) +%passage 10 +"Really? That doesn't sound like Swing. How much do I owe you." + +The young man called Havelock gave a shrug. "Call it a dollar," he said. + +"That's very cheap." + +"He wasn't worth more. I should warn you, though. Soon you may want me +to deal with Keel." + +"Surely someone like him wouldn't side with people like Winder and Swing?" + +"He's a side all by himself. He's a complication. You may think it best +if he... ceased to complicate." + +The rattling of the coach underlined the silence this remark caused. It +was moving through a richer part of the city now, where there was more +light and the curfew, being for poorer people, was less rigorously +observed. The figure opposite the Assassin stroked the cat on her lap. + +"No. He'll serve some purpose," said Madam. "Everyone is telling me +about Keel. In a world where we all move in curves he proceeds in a +straight line. And going straight in a world of curves makes things +happen." + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 199 (this is a continuation of the conversation in passage 10, with +# several paragraphs leading to it skipped; topic is now about a +# rare book that has callously been destroyed; a sentence about +# "dark green" is omitted) +%passage 11 +"Ah. It contained information of value. [...] Will you tell me?" + +"I /could/ tell you." Havelock smiled again. "But then I would have to +find someone to pay me to kill you." + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 250 +%passage 12 +People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any +case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or +appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to +be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even +distrustful of cleverness. And so, the children of the revolution +were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong +kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind +of people. + +As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn't measure +up. + + [Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title The Wee Free Men (13) +# p. 100 (HarperTempest edition; quin==queen; +# this rallying cry occurs multiple times; p. 167 has "/Nae quin! +# Nae king! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna be fooled again!/", +# p. 193 has same except that King and Quin are reversed and +# capitalized, p. 287 has "/Nae Quin! Nae Laird! Wee Fee Men!/") +%passage 1 +"Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae +master! /We willna be fooled again!/" + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 18-19 (unlike in Lancre and its surrounding Ramtop mountains, witches +# are unwelcome in the Chalk; the first paragraph continues with +# mention of things Miss Tick doesn't carry, then things she does, +# ending with 'and, of course, a lucky charm.') +%passage 2 +Miss Tick did not look like a witch. Most witches don't, at least the ones +who wander from place to place. Looking like a witch can be dangerous when +you walk among the uneducated. [...] + +Everyone in the country carried lucky charms, and Miss Tick had worked out +that if you didn't have one, people would suspect that you /were/ a witch. +You had to be a bit cunning to be a witch. + +Miss Tick did have a pointy hat, but it was a stealth hat and pointed only +when she wanted it to. + +The one thing in her bag that might have made anyone suspicious was a very +small, grubby booklet entitled /An Introduction to Escapology, by the +Great Williamson/. If one of the risks of your job is being thrown into a +pond with your hands tied together, then the ability to swim thirty yards +underwater, fully clothed, plus the ability to lurk under the weeds +breathing air through a hollow reed, count as nothing if you aren't also +/amazingly/ good at knots. + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 29-30 ('pune' is accurate; a mispronunciation of 'pun', as indicated +# by the footnote; one wonders how a nine year old farm girl knows +# how to pronounce 'mystique'...) +%passage 3 +"My name," she said at last, "is Miss Tick. And I /am/ a witch. It's a +good name for a witch, of course." + +"You mean blood-sucking parasite?" said Tiffany, wrinkling her forehead. + +"I'm sorry," said Miss Tick, coldly. + +"Ticks," said Tiffany. "Sheep get them. But if you use turpentine--" + +"I /meant/ that it /sounds/ like 'mystic,'" said Miss Tick. + +"Oh, you mean a pune, or play on words," said Tiffany.(1) "In that case it +would be even better if you were Miss /Teak/, a dense foreign wood, because +that would sound like 'mystique,' or you could be Miss Take, which would--" + +"I can see we're going to get on like a house on fire," said Miss Tick. +"There may be no survivors." + +(1) Tiffany had read lots of words in the dictionary that she'd never heard +spoken, so she had to guess at how they were pronounced. + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 64-65 +%passage 4 +There was a lot of mist around, but a few stars were visible overhead and +there was a gibbous moon in the sky. Tiffany knew it was gibbous because +she'd read in the Almanack that /gibbous/ means what the moon looked like +when it was just a bit fatter than half full, and so she made a point of +paying attention to it around those times just so that she could say to +herself, "Ah, I see the moon's very gibbous tonight." + +It's possible that this tells you more about Tiffany than she would want +you to know. + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 159 (bigjob: pictsie term for human; 'heid', 'dinna', 'canna', 'noo', +# 'aroound', and 'Tiffan' are accurate) +%passage 5 +"[...] Ye have the First Sight and the Second Thoughts, just like yer +Granny. That's rare in a bigjob." + +"Don't you mean Second Sight?" Tiffany asked. "Like people who can see +ghosts and stuff?" + +"Ach, no. That's typical bigjob thinking. /First Sight/ is when you can +see what's really there, not what your heid tells you /ought/ to be there. +Ye saw Jenny, ye saw the horseman, ye saw them as real thingies. Second +sight is dull sight, it's seeing only what you expect to see. Most bigjobs +ha' that. Listen to me, because I'm fadin' noo and there's a lot you dinna +ken. Ye think this is the whole world? That is a good thought for sheep +and mortals who dinna open their eyes. Because in truth there are more +worlds than stars in the sky. Understand? They are everywhere, big and +small, close as your skin. They are /everywhere/. Some ye can see an' +some ye canna, but there are doors, Tiffan. They might be a hill or a +tree or a stone or a turn in the road, or they might e'en be a thought in +yer heid, but they are there, all aroound ye. You'll have to learn to see +'em, because you walk among them and dinna know it. And some of them... +is poisonous." + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 193 (source text is all italics here; passage continues with the speakers +# getting in synch and shouting the cry from passage 1) +%passage 6 +"They can tak' oour lives but they canna tak' oour troousers!" + +"Ye'll tak' the high road an' I'll tak' yer wallet!" + +"There can only be one t'ousand!" + +"Ach, stick it up yer trakkans!" + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 227 (also all italics; end of a reminiscence of Granny Aching by Tiffany) +%passage 7 +"Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up +for them as has no voices." + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 287 (like passage 6, this ties back to passage 1; the cry there is +# one of the things Tiffany hears) +%passage 8 +Tiffany might have been the only person, in all the worlds that there are, +to be happy to hear the sound of the Nac Mac Feegle. + +They poured out of the smashed nut. Some were still wearing bow ties. +Some were back in their kilts. But they were all in a fighting mood and, +to save time, were fighting with one another to get up to speed. + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 313-314 (passage starts mid-paragraph; 'mebbe' and 'oour' are accurate) +%passage 9 +"[...] Can you bring Wentworth?" + +"Aye." + +"And you won't get lost or--or drunk or anything?" + +Rob Anybody looked offended. "We ne'er get lost!" he said. "We always ken +where we are! It's just sometimes mebbe we aren't sure where everything +else is, but it's no' our fault if /everything else/ gets lost! The Nac +Mac Feegle never get lost!" + +"What about drunk?" said Tiffany, dragging Roland toward the lighthouse. + +"We've ne'er been lost in oour lives! Is that no' the case, lads?" said +Rob Anybody. There was a murmur of resentful agreement. "The words /lost/ +and /Nac Mac Feegle/ shouldna turn up in the same sentence!" + +"And drunk?" said Tiffany again, laying Roland down on the beach. + +"Gettin' lost is something that happens to other people!" declared Rob +Anybody. "I want to make that point perfectly clear!" + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 2-3 (passage begins mid-paragraph) +%passage 10 +The lowlands weren't good to witches. Miss Tick was making pennies by +doing bits of medicine and misfortune-telling,(1) and slept in barns +most nights. She'd twice been thrown into ponds. + +(1) Ordinary fortune-tellers tell you what you /want/ to happen; witches +tell you what's going to happen whether you want it to or not. Strangely +enough, witches tend to be more accurate but less popular. + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 103-104 (passage ends mid-paragraph; the talking toad has been loaned +# from Miss Tick to Tiffany; it is apparently a transformed human +# lawyer [Feegles' swords don't glow in its presence though :-] +# 'ye', 'agin', 'distrainment', and hyphenated 'comp-li-cated' +# are all accurate) +%passage 11 +"I'm the Big Man o' the clan, mistress," he said. "An' my name it is..." +he swallowed. "Rob Anybody Feegle, mistress. But I beg ye not to use it +agin me!" + +The toad was ready for this. + +"They think names have magic in them," he murmured. "They don't tell them +to people in case they are written down." + +"Aye, an' put upon comp-li-cated documents," said a Feegle. + +"An' summonses and such things," said another. + +"Or 'Wanted' posters," said another. + +"Aye, an' bills an' affidavits," said another. + +"Writs of distrainment, even!" The Feegles looked around in panic at the +very thought of written-down things. + +"They think written words are even more powerful," whispered the toad. +"They think all writing is magic. Words worry them. See their swords? +They glow in the presence of lawyers." + +"All /right/," said Tiffany. "We're getting somewhere. I promise not +to write his name down. [...]" + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 130 ('whut' for 'what' is accurate) +%passage 12 +"Whut's the plan, Rob?" said one of them. + +"Okay, lads, this is what we'll do. As soon as we see somethin', we'll +attack it. Right?" + +This caused a cheer. + +"Ach, 'tis a good plan," said Daft Wullie. + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 145 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 13 +"On your honor as a drunken rowdy thief?" said Tiffany. + +Rob Anybody beamed. "Aye!" he said. "An' I got a lot of good big +reputation to protect there! [...]" + + [The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Monstrous Regiment (12) +# pp. 44-45 (page citation if for Harper Torch Edition; that uses double +# quotes so the transciption came from some other edition) +%passage 1 +'How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if you don't know how +to use it?' + +'Not me, sir. Other people. They see the sword and don't attack me,' +said Maladict patiently. + +'Yes, but if they did, lad, you wouldn't be any good with it,' said the +sergeant. + +'No, sir. I'd probably settle for just ripping their heads off, sir. +That's what I mean by protection, sir. Theirs, not mine. And I'd get +hell from the League if I did that, sir.' + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 6 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 2 +/There was always a war./ Usually they were border disputes, the national +equivalent of complaining that the neighbor was letting their hedge grow +too long. Sometimes they were bigger. Borogravia was a peace-loving +country in the midst of treacherous, devious, warlike enemies. They had +to be treacherous, devious, and warlike, otherwise we wouldn't be fighting +them, eh? There was always a war. + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 115-116 (plural 'forests' is odd but accurate [1st sentence]; +# so is 'knew' which ought to be 'known' [4th paragraph]; +# 9 '0's and 7 '0's are accurate too) +%passage 3 +A pigeon rose over the forests, banked slightly, and headed straight for +the valley of the Kneck. + +Even from here, the black stone bulk of the Keep was visible, rising above +the sea of trees. The pigeon sped on, one spark of purpose in the fresh +new morning-- + +--and squawked as darkness dropped from the sky, gripping it in talons of +steel. Buzzard and pigeon tumbled for a moment, and then the buzzard +gained a little height and flapped onwards. + +The pigeon thought: 000000000. But had it been more capable of coherent +thought, and knew something about how birds of prey caught pigeons,(1) it +might have wondered why it was being gripped so... kindly. It was being +held, not squeezed. As it was, all it could think was 0000000! + +(1) And allowing for the fact that all pigeons who knew how birds of prey +catch pigeons are dead, and therefore capable of slightly less thought +than a living pigeon. + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 131 +%passage 4 +"All the food's been taken but there's carrots and parsnips in a little +garden down the hill a bit," Shufti said as they walked away. + +"It'd be s-stealing from the dead," said Wazzer. + +"Well, if they object they can hold on, can't they?" said Shufti. "They're +underground already!" + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 160 +%passage 5 +"And there you have it, Sergeant Towering," said the lieutenant, turning +to the prisoner. "Of course, we all know there is some atrocious behavior +in times of war, but it is not the sort of thing we would expect of a +royal prince.(1) If we are to be pursued because a gallant young soldier +prevented matters from becoming even more disgusting, then so be it." + +(1) Lieutenant Blouse read only the more technical history books. + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 176 (fire: almost certainly to make tea) +%passage 6 +There are three things a soldier wants to do when there's a respite on the +road. One involves lighting a cigarette, one involves lighting a fire, +and the other involves no flames at all but does, generally, require a +tree.(1) + +(1) Technically, a tree is not required, but seems to be insisted upon for +reasons of style. + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 179 ('humor': American spelling is accurate) +%passage 7 +Maladict dropped his crossbow, which fired straight up into the air,(1) +and sat down with his head in his hands. + +(1) And failed to hit anything, especially a duck. This is so unusual +in situations like this that it must be reported under the new humor +regulations. If it had hit a duck, which quacked and landed on somebody's +head, this would, of course, have been very droll and would certainly have +been reported. Instead, the arrow drifted in the breeze a little on the +way and landed in an oak tree some thirty feet away, where it missed a +squirrel. + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 284 (soldiers disguised as washerwomen in order to sneak into an +# enemy-controlled castle have been put to work doing the laundry) +%passage 8 +"Look at this, will you?" said Shufti, waving a sodden pair of men's long +pants at her. "They keep putting the colors in with the whites." + +"Well, so what? These are /enemy/ long johns," said Polly. + +"Yes, but there's such a thing as doing it properly! Look, they put in +this red pair and all the others are going pink." + +"And? I used to love pink when I was about seven."(1) + +"But pale pink? On a man?" + +Polly looked at the next tub for a moment and patted Shufti on the shoulder. + +"Yes. It is /very/ pale, isn't it? You'd better find a couple more red +items," she said. + +"But that'll make it even worse--" Shufti began. + +"That was an /order/, soldier," Polly whispered in her ear. "And add some +starch." + +"How much?" + +"All you can find." + +(1) It is an established fact that, despite everything society can do, +girls of seven are magnetically attracted to the color pink. + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 4 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 114 (the sergeant known as "Threeparts" is a bit daft, but Polly does +# eventually walk with Death--not die, just walk and talk with him) +%passage 9 +"Best of luck, lads," he added cheerfully. "You'll walk with Death every +day, but I've seen 'im and he's been known to wink. And remember: fill +your boots with soup!" + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 191-192 (passage starts mid-paragraph; speaker is William de Worde, +# writer/editor/publisher of Ankh-Morpork's leading newspaper) +%passage 10 +"[...] You see, the curious thing is that although Ankh-Morpork is probably +the biggest bully around, in a subtle kind of way, we nevertheless have a +soft spot for people who stand up to bullies. Especially royal ones. We +tend to be on their side, provided it doesn't cost us too much." + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 211-212 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 11 +The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to +the presence of those who think they've found it. + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 225 ("[Sam Vimes]" inserted for clarity) +%passage 12 +He [Sam Vimes] swore under his breath. Prince Heinrich had inherited the +throne in a country where the chief export was a kind of hand-painted +wooden clog, but in ten years, he vowed, his capital city of Rigour would +be "the Ankh-Morpork of the mountains!" + +For some reason, he thought Ankh-Morpork would be pleased about this. + +He was anxious, he said, to learn the Ankh-Morpork way of doing things, the +kind of innocent ambition that could well lead to an aspiring leader... +well, finding out the Ankh-Morpork way of doing things. Heinrich had a +reputation locally for cunning, but Ankh-Morpork had overtaken cunning a +thousand years ago, had sped past devious, had left artful far behind, and +had now, by a roundabout route, arrived at straightforward. + + [Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title A Hat Full of Sky (13) +# p. 405 (HarperTempest edition) +%passage 1 +Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the +place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there +see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the +same as never leaving. + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 11-12 +%passage 2 +Miss Tick was a sort of witch finder. That seemed to be how witchcraft +worked. Some witches kept a magical lookout for girls who showed promise, +and found them an older witch to help them along. They didn't teach you +how to do it. They taught you how to know what you were doing. + +Witches were a bit like cats. They didn't much like one another's company, +but they /did/ like to know where all the other witches were, just in case +they needed them. And what you might need them for was to tell you, as a +friend, that you were beginning to cackle. + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 31 +%passage 3 +"Oh," said Miss Tick. But because she was a teacher as well as a witch, +and probably couldn't help herself, she added, "The funny thing is, of +course, that officially there is no such thing as a white horse. They're +called gray."(1) + +(1) She had to say that because she was a witch and a teacher, and that's +a terrible combination. They want things to be /right/. They like things +to be /correct/. If you want to upset a witch, you don't have to mess +around with charms and spells--you just have to put her in a room with a +picture that's hung slightly crooked and watch her squirm. + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 51 +%passage 4 +"Oh," she said. "It's like cat's cradle." + +"You've played that, have you?" said Miss Tick vaguely, still +concentrating. + +"I can do all the common shapes," said Tiffany. "The Jewels and the +Cradle and the House and the Flock and the Three Old Ladies, One With a +Squint, Carrying the Bucket of Fish to Market When They Meet the Donkey, +although you need two people for that one, and I only ever did it once, +and Betsy Tupper scratched her nose at the wrong moment and I had to get +some scissors to cut her loose..." + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 106 (passage starts mid-paragraph; 'doon' is accurate) +%passage 5 +"[...] It's a bad case o' the thinkin' he's caught, missus. When a man +starts messin' wi' the readin' and the writin', then he'll come doon with +a dose o' the thinkin' soon enough. I'll fetch some o' the lads and we'll +hold his head under water until he stops doin' it--'tis the only cure. It +can kill a man, the thinkin'." + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 107 ('braked', 'Polis'men', 'dinna' all accurate) +%passage 6 +"I never braked my word yet," said Rob. "Except to Polis'men and other o' +that kidney, ye ken, and they dinna count." + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 111 (passage starts mid-paragraph; 'land o' the living': the Nac Mac +# Feegle believe that they're dead and are on Discworld because it +# is heaven, also that if they die on Discworld they'll be reborn +# on their "real world"; 'big wee hag': Tiffany, apprentice witch +# [big: she's human, wee: she's still a child, hag: she's a witch]) +%passage 7 +"[...] Now lads, ye ken all about hivers. They cannae be killed! But +'tis oor duty to save the big wee hag, so this is, like, a sooey-side +mission and ye'll probably all end up back in the land o' the living +doin' a borin' wee job. So... I'm askin' for volunteers!" + +Every Feegle over the age of four automatically put his hand up. + +"Oh, come /on/," said Rob. "You canna /all/ come! Look, I'll tak'... +Daft Wullie, Big Yan, and you... Awf'ly Wee Billy Bigchin. An' I'm takin' +no weans, so if yez under three inches high, ye're not comin'! Except +for ye, o' course, Awf'ly Wee Billy. As for the rest of youse, we'll +settle this the traditional Feegle way. I'll tak' the last fifty men +still standing!" + +He beckoned the chosen three to a place in the corner of the mound while +the rest of the crowd squared up cheerfully. A Feegle liked to face +enormous odds all by himself, because it meant you didn't have to look +where you were hitting. + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 114 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 8 +[...] It was a mad, desperate plan, which was very dangerous and risky +and would require tremendous strength and bravery to make it work. + +Put like that, they agreed to it instantly. + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 225 (last paragraph continues--they didn't understand the contents +# since most pictsies can't read) +%passage 9 +"Oh, aye?" he said. "We looked at her diary loads o' times. Nae harm +done." + +"You /looked/ at her /diary/?" said Miss Level, horrified. "Why?" + +Really, she thought later, she should have expected the answer. + +"Cuz it wuz locked," said Daft Wullie. "If she didna want anyone tae look +at it, why'd she keep it at the back o' her sock drawer? [...]" + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 240 (passage starts mid-paragraph; 'frannit' is accurate) +%passage 10 +"[...] All we need tae do is frannit a wheelstone on it and it'll tak' us +right where she is."(1) + +(1) If anyone knew what this meant, they'd know a lot more about the Nac +Mac Feegle's way of traveling. + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 351 (the hiver's dialog is telepathic--internal would be more +# accurate--and occurs in italics without quote marks) +%passage 11 +Tiffany took a deep breath. This was about words, and she knew about +words. "Here is a story to believe," she said. "Once we were blobs in +the sea, and then fishes, and then lizards and rats, and then monkeys, +and hundreds of things in between. This hand was once a fin, this hand +once had claws! In my human mouth I have the pointy teeth of a wolf and +the chisel teeth of a rabbit and the grinding teeth of a cow! Our blood +is as salty as the sea we used to live in! When we're frightened, the +hair on our skin stands up, just like it did when we had fur. We /are/ +history! Everything we've ever been on the way to becoming us, we still +are. Would you like to hear the rest of the story?" + +/Tell us/, said the hiver. + +"I'm made up of the memories of my parents and grandparents, all my +ancestors. They're in the way I look, in the color of my hair. And I'm +made up of everyone I've ever met who's changed the way I think. So who +is 'me'?" + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# +# 2 new passages added for 5.0 +# +# p. 124 (first speaker is Tiffany) +%passage 12 +"Well, couldn't you help him by magic?" + +"I'll see to it that he's in no pain, yes," said Miss Level. + +"But that's just herbs." + +"It's still magic. Knowing things is magical, if other people don't know +them." + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 405 (passage starts mid-paragraph, actually the next one after passage 1) +%passage 13 +Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It's a feeling inside that +can hardly be contained. + + [A Hat Full of Sky, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Going Postal (13) +%passage 1 +What was magic, after all, but something that happened at the snap of +a finger? Where was the magic in that? It was mumbled words and weird +drawings in old books and in the wrong hands it was dangerous as hell, +but not one half as dangerous as it could be in the right hands. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 5 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 2 +They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates +a man's mind wonderfully; unfortunately, what the mind inevitably +concentrates on is that, in the morning, it will be in a body that is +going to be hanged. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 18 +%passage 3 +There is a saying, "You can't fool an honest man," which is much quoted +by people who make a profitable living by fooling honest men. Moist +never tried it, knowingly anyway. If you did fool an honest man, he +tended to complain to the local Watch, and these days they were harder +to buy off. Fooling dishonest men was a lot safer, and somehow, more +sporting. And, of course, there were so many more of them. You hardly +had to aim. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 47 (passage starts mid-paragraph; +# italics because it's Moist von Lipwig's internal monolog) +%passage 4 +/What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch +of government? Apart from, say, the average voter./ + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 137 +%passage 5 +Now he could see the mysterious order clearly. They were robed, of course, +because you couldn't have a secret order without robes. They had pushed +the hoods back now, and each man(1) was wearing a peaked cap with a bird +skeleton wired to it. + +(1) Women are always significantly underrepresented in secret orders. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 184 ('Tubso' and 'Bissonomy' are accurate) +%passage 6 +Just below the dome, staring down from their niches, were statues of the +Virtues: Patience, Chastity, Silence, Charity, Hope, Tubso, Bissonomy,(1) +and Fortitude. + +(1) Many cultures practice neither of these in the hustle and bustle of +the modern world, because no one can remember what they are. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 249-250 (Moist and Miss Dearheart are in a fancy restaurant) +%passage 7 +She froze, staring over his shoulder. He saw her right hand scrabble +frantically among the cutlery and grab a knife. + +"That bastard has just walked into the place!" she hissed. "Reacher Gilt! +I'll just kill him and join you for the pudding..." + +"You can't do that!" hissed Moist. + +"Oh? Why not?" + +"You're using the wrong knife! That's for the fish! You'll get into +trouble!" + +She glared at him, but her hand relaxed, and something like a smile +appeared on her face. + +"They don't have a knife for stabbing rich, murdering bastards?" she said. + +"They bring it to the table when you order one," said Moist urgently. +"Look, this isn't the Drum, they don't just throw the body into the river! +They'll call the Watch! Get a grip. Not on a knife! And get ready to +run." + +"Why?" + +"Because I forged his signature on Grand Trunk notepaper to get us in +here, that's why." + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp 260-261 (Mr. Groat: elderly postal employee recently attacked in +# the palacial but severely dilapidated post office; +# "his imagination": Moist's; "him": Mr. Groat; "he": Moist) +%passage 8 +The vision of Mr. Groat's chest kept bumping insistently against his +imagination. It looked as though something with claws had taken a swipe +at him, and only the thick uniform coat prevented him from being opened +like a clam. But that didn't sound like a vampire. They weren't messy +like that. It was a waste of good food. + +Nevertheless, he picked up a piece of smashed chair. It had splintered +nicely. And the nice thing about a stake through the heart was that it +also worked on non-vampires. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 262 (Stanley, a young postal employee who collects pins, recently +# fought off /something/ using a bag of pins as a weapon) +# [this passage doesn't have a very satisfactory ending...] +%passage 9 +You probably couldn't /kill/ a vampire with pins... + +And after a thought like that is when you realize that however hard you +try to look behind you, there's a behind you, behind you, where you aren't +looking. Moist flung his back to the cold stone wall where he slithered +along it until he ran out of wall and acquired a doorframe. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +#p. 278 ('thoughted' and 'thoughting' are accurate) +%passage 10 +"Oh, Mr. Lipwig!" + +It is not often that a wailing woman rushes into a room and throws herself +at a man. It had never happened to Moist before. Now it happened, and it +seemed such a waste that the woman was Miss Maccalariat. + +She tottered forward and clung to the startled Moist, tears streaming down +her face. + +"Oh, Mr. Lipwig!" she wailed. "Oh, Mr. Lipwig!" + +Moist reeled under her weight. She was dragging at his collar so hard +that he was likely to end up on the floor, and the thought of being found +on the floor with Miss Maccalariat was--well, a thought that just couldn't +be thoughted. The head would explode before thoughting it. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +#p. 315 +%passage 11 +Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same +crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 326 (homage to "To Have and Have Not"; Lauren Bacall's character says +# to Humphrey Bogart's character, "You know how to whistle, don't +# you Steve? Just put your lips together and--blow." +# Miss Dearheart's slight pause seems better placed...) +%passage 12 +Miss Dearheart stubbed out her cigarette. "Go up there tonight, Mr. Lipwig. +Get yourself a little bit closer to heaven. And then get down on your +knees and pray. You know how to pray, don't you? You just put your hands +together--and hope." + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 333 ('crackers' have been sending and receiving clandestine clacks +# messages without owners/operators of the clacks network noticing) +%passage 13 +It was a little like stealing. It was exactly like stealing. It was, in +fact, stealing. But there was no law against it, because no one knew the +crime existed, so is it really stealing if what's stolen isn't missed? +And is it stealing if you're stealing from thieves? Anyway, all property +is theft, except mine. + + [Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Thud! (7) +# p. 39 (Harper Torch edition; passage starts mid-paragraph; speaker is Nobby) +%passage 1 +"Why mess about with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?" + + [Thud!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 334-336 (originally transcribed from some other edition) +%passage 2 +He wanted to sleep. He'd never felt this tired before. Vimes slumped to +his knees, and then fell sideways on to the sand. + +When he forced his eyes open, he saw pale stars above him, and had, once +again, the sensation that there was someone else present. + +He turned his head, wincing at the stab of pain, and saw a small but +brightly lit folding chair on the sand. A robed figure was reclining in +it, reading a book. A scythe was stuck in the sand beside it. + +A white, skeletal hand turned a page. + +'You'll be Death, then?' said Vimes, after a while. + +AH, MISTER VIMES, ASTUTE AS EVER. GOT IT IN ONE, said Death, shutting the +book on his finger to keep the place. + +'I've seen you before.' + +I HAVE WALKED WITH YOU MANY TIMES, MISTER VIMES. + +'And this is /it/, is it?' + +HAS IT NEVER STRUCK YOU THAT THE CONCEPT OF A WRITTEN NARRATIVE IS SOMEWHAT +STRANGE? said Death. + +Vimes could tell when people were trying to avoid something they really +didn't want to say, and it was happening here. + +'Is it?' he insisted. 'Is this it? This time I die?' + +COULD BE. + +'Could be? What sort of answer is that?' said Vimes. + +A VERY ACCURATE ONE. YOU SEE, YOU ARE HAVING A NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE, +WHICH INESCAPABLY MEANS THAT I MUST UNDERGO A NEAR-/VIMES/ EXPERIENCE. +DON'T MIND ME. CARRY ON WITH WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING. I HAVE A BOOK. + +Vimes rolled over on to his stomach, gritted his teeth, and pushed himself +on to his hands and knees again. He managed a few yards before slumping +back down. + +He heard the sound of a chair being moved. + +'Shouldn't you be somewhere else?' he said. + +I AM, said Death, sitting down again. + +'But you're here!' + +AS WELL. Death turned a page and, for a person without breath, managed a +pretty good sigh. IT APPEARS THAT THE BUTLER DID IT. + +'Did what?' + +IT IS A MADE-UP STORY. VERY STRANGE. ALL ONE NEEDS TO DO IS TURN TO THE +LAST PAGE AND THE ANSWER IS THERE. WHAT, THEREFORE, IS THE POINT OF +DELIBERATELY NOT KNOWING? + +It sounded like gibberish to Vimes, so he ignored it. Some of the aches +had gone, although his head still hammered. There was an empty feeling +everywhere. He just wanted to sleep. + + [Thud!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 225-226 +%passage 3 +And I'm going home, Vimes repeated to himself. Everyone wants something +from Vimes, even though I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Hell, +I'm probably a spoon. Well I'm going to be Vimes, and Vimes reads +/Where's My Cow?/ to Young Sam at six o'clock. With the noises done right. + + [Thud!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 261-262 +%passage 4 +Fred Colon peered through the bars. He was, on the whole, a pretty good +jailer; he always had a pot of tea on the go, he was, as a general rule, +amiably disposed to most people, he was too slow to be easily fooled, and +he kept the cell keys in a box in the bottom drawer of his desk, a long +way out of reach of any stick, hand, dog, cunningly thrown belt, or +trained Klatchian monkey spider.(1) + +(1) Making Fred Colon possibly unique in the annals of jail history. + + [Thud!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 287 (American spelling of 'theater' is accurate [Harper Torch edition]) +%passage 5 +Brushing aside cobwebs with one hand and holding up a lantern with the +other, Sybil led the way past boxes of MEN'S BOOTS, VARIOUS; RISIBLE +PUPPETS, STRING & GLOVE; MODEL THEATER AND SCENERY. Maybe that was the +reason for their wealth: they bought things that were built to last, and +now they seldom had to buy anything at all. Except food, of course, and +even then Vimes would not have been surprised to see boxes labeled APPLE +CORES, VARIOUS, or LEFTOVERS, NEED EATING UP.(1) + +(1) That was a phrase of Sybil's that got to him. She'd announce at lunch, +"we must have the pork tonight, it needs eating up." Vimes never had an +actual problem with this, because he'd been raised to eat what was put in +front of him, and do it quickly, too, before someone else snatched it away. +He was just puzzled at the suggestion that he was there to do the food a +favor. + + [Thud!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 296-297 +%passage 6 +"Tell me Drumknott, are you a betting man at all?" + +"I have been know to have the occasional 'little flutter,' sir." + +"Given, then, a contest between an invisible and very powerful quasidemonic +/thing/ of pure vengeance on the one hand, and the commander on the other, +where would you wager, say... one dollar?" + +"I wouldn't, sir. That looks like one that would go to the judges." + +"Yes," said Vetinari, staring thoughtfully at the closed door. "Yes, +/indeed/." + + [Thud!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 351 ('teeth-aching' probably ought to have been 'teeth-achingly') +%passage 7 +Vimes reached up and took a mug of water from Angua. It was teeth-aching +cold and the best drink he'd ever tasted. And his mind worked fast, flying +in emergency supplies of common sense, as human minds do, to construct a +huge anchor in sanity and prove that what happened hadn't really happened +and, if it had happened, hadn't happened very much. + +It was all mystic, that's what it was. Oh, it /might/ all be true, but how +could you ever tell? You had to stick to the things you can see. And you +had to keep reminding yourself of that, too. + +Yeah, that was it. What had really happened, eh? A few signs? Well, +anything can look like you want it to, if you're worried and confused +enough, yes? A sheep can look like a cow, right? Ha! + + [Thud!, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Wintersmith (16) +# p. 82 (HarperTeen edition--presumably HarperTempest suffered a name change) +%passage 1 +That's Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your +head, they're the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as +granite, or is it sandstone? + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +p. 113 +%passage 2 +They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but +has anyone checked lately? + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 32-33 +%passage 3 +All witches are a bit odd. Tiffany had got used to odd, so that odd seemed +quite normal. There was Miss Level, for example, who had two bodies, +although one of them was imaginary. Mistress Pullunder, who bred pedigreed +earthworms and gave them all names... well, she was hardly odd at all, just +a bit peculiar, and anyway earthworms were quite interesting in a basically +uninteresting kind of way. And there had been Old Mother Dismass, who +suffered from bouts of temporal confusion, which can be quite strange when +it happens to a witch; her mouth never moved in time with her words, and +sometimes her footsteps came down the stairs ten minutes before she did. + +But when it came to odd, Miss Treason didn't just take the cake, but a +packet of biscuits too, with sprinkles on the top, and also a candle. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 34 ('villages': plural is accurate; 'clonk-clank' is rendered bold) +%passage 4 +Then there was her clock. It was heavy and made of rusty iron by someone +who was more blacksmith than watchmaker, which was why it went +*clonk-clank* instead of /tick-tock/. She wore it on her belt and could +tell the time by feeling the stubby little hands. + +There was a story in the villages that the clock was Miss Treason's heart, +which she'd used ever since her first heart died. But there were lots of +stories about Miss Treason. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 40 (Boffo) +%passage 5 +First Sight and Second Thoughts, that's what a witch had to rely on: First +Sight to see what's really there, and Second Thoughts to watch the First +Thoughts to check that they were thinking right. Then there were the +Third Thoughts, which Tiffany had never heard discussed and therefore kept +quiet about; they were odd, seemed to think for themselves, and didn't +turn up very often. And they were telling her that there was more to Miss +Treason than met the eye. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 53-54 (in Carpe Jugulum, most of the lore [for humans] about how to kill +# vampires had been written by long-lived/long-not-defunct vampires +# [meaning that it was deliberately full of inaccuracies...]) +%passage 6 +It was in fact Miss Tick who had written /Witch Hunting for Dumb People/, +and she made sure that copies of it found their way into those areas where +people still believed that witches should be burned or drowned. + +Since the only witch ever likely to pass through these days was Miss Tick +herself, it meant that if things did go wrong, she'd get a good night's +sleep and a decent meal before being thrown into the water. The water was +no problem at all for Miss Tick, who had been to the Quirm College for +Young Ladies, where you had to have an icy dip every morning to build Moral +Fiber. And a No. 1 Bosun's knot was very easy to undo with your teeth, +even underwater. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 55-56 +%passage 7 +Working quickly, she emptied her pockets and started a shamble. + +Shambles worked. That was about all you could say about them for certain. +You made them out of some string and a couple of sticks and anything you +had in your pocket at the time. They were a witch's equivalent of those +knives with fifteen blades and three screwdrivers and a tiny magnifying +glass and a thing for extracting earwax from chickens. + +You couldn't even say precisely what they did, although Miss Tick thought +that they were a way of finding out what things the hidden bits of your +own mind already knew. You had to make a shamble from scratch every time, +and only from things in your pockets. There was no harm in having +interesting things in your pockets, though, just in case. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 69 +%passage 8 +A witch didn't do things because they seemed like a good idea at the time! +That was practically cackling! You had to deal every day with people who +were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you +could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably +improved if you gave them a slap. But you didn't because, as Miss Tick +had once explained: a) it would make the world a better place for only a +very short period of time; b) it would then make the world a slightly +worse place; and c) you're not supposed to be as stupid as they are. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 106 (Rob Anybody is married to their kelda, ruler of the clan; +# passage continues with three or so pages about Explaining +# [focusing on the reactions of the recipient of the explanation: +# Pursin' o' the Lips; Foldin' o' the Arms; Tappin' o' the Feets; +# and also the reactions of the listening Feegles as they hear +# about them] but would end up on the long side if included here) +%passage 9 +"Aye, but the boy willna be interested in marryin'," said Slightly Mad +Angus. + +"He might be one day," said Billy Bigchin, who'd made a hobby of watching +humans. "Most bigjob men get married." + +"They do?" said a Feegle in astonishment. + +"Oh, aye." + +"They want tae get married?" + +"A lot o' them do, aye," said Billy. + +"So there's nae more drinkin', and stealin', and fightin'?" + +"Hey, ah'm still allowed some drinkin' and stealin' and fightin'!" said +Rob Anybody. + +"Aye, Rob, but we canna help noticin' ye also have tae do the Explainin', +too." said Daft Wullie. + +There was a general nodding from the crowd. To Feegles, Explaining was a +dark art. It was just so /hard/. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 126-127 (passage starts mid-paragraph; +# witches know in advance when they're going to die) +%passage 10 +"[...] We shall hold the funeral tomorrow afternoon." + +"Sorry? You mean /before/ you die?" said Tiffany. + +"Why, of course! I don't see why I shouldn't have some fun!" + +"Good thinkin'!" said Rob Anybody. "That's the kind o' sensible detail +people usually fails tae consider." + +"We call it a going-away party," said Miss Treason. "Just for witches, of +course. Other people tend to get a bit nervous--I can't think why. And +on the bright side, we've got that splendid ham that Mr. Armbinder gave us +last week for settling the ownership of the chestnut tree, and I'd love to +try it." + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 129 +%passage 11 +Some people think that "coven" is a word for a group of witches, and it's +true that's what the dictionary says. But the real word for a group of +witches is an "argument." + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 174-175 (passage starts mid-paragraph; last paragraph continues, but +# changes topic so abruptly Tiffany gasps; 'rumbustious' is accurate) +%passage 12 +"[...] And now I shall tell you something vitally important. It is the +secret of my long life." + +Ah, thought Tiffany, and she leaned forward. + +"The important thing," said Miss Treason, "is to stay the passage of the +wind. You should avoid rumbustious fruits and vegetables. Beans are the +worst, take it from me." + +"I don't think I understand--" Tiffany began. + +"Try not to fart, in a nutshell." + +"In a nutshell, I imagine it would be pretty unpleasant!" said Tiffany +nervously. She couldn't believe she was being told this. + +"This is no joking matter," said Miss Treason. "The human body has only +so much air in it. You have to make it last. One plate of beans can take +a year off your life. I have avoided rumbustiousness all my days. I am +an old person and that means what I say is wisdom!" She gave the +bewildered Tiffany a stern look. "Do you understand, child?" + +Tiffany's mind raced. Everything is a test! "No," she said. "I'm not a +child and that's nonsense, not wisdom!" + +The stern look cracked into a smile. "Yes," said Miss Treason. "Total +gibberish. But you've got to admit it's a corker, all the same, right? +You definitely believed it, just for a moment? The villagers did last +year. You should have seen the way they walked about for a few weeks! +The strained looks on their faces quite cheered me up! [...]" + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 185 (Miss Treason tells people she's 113, but she's actually /only/ 111) +%passage 13 +MISS EUMENIDES TREASON, AGED ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN? + +Tiffany heard the voice inside her head. It didn't seem to have come +through her ears. And she'd heard it before, making her quite unusual. +Most people hear the voice of Death only once. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 229 +%passage 14 +Tiffany had looked up "strumpet" in the Unexpurgated Dictionary, and found +it meant "a woman who is no better than she should be" and "a lady of easy +virtue." This, she decided after some working out, meant that Mrs. Gytha +Ogg, known as Nanny, was a very respectable person. She found virtue easy, +for one thing. And if she was no better than she should be, she was just +as good as she ought to be. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 360-361 ('wurds' is accurate) +%passage 15 +"An heroic effect, Mr. Anybody," said Granny. "The first thing a hero must +conquer is his fear, and when it comes to fightin', the Nac Mac Feegle +don't know the meanin' of the word." + +"Aye, true enough," Rob grunted. "We dinna ken the meanin' o' thousands +o' wurds!" + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 398-399 ("Chumsfanleigh" is pronounced "Chuffley") +%passage 16 +At the back of the Feegles' chalk pit, more chalk had been carved out of +the wall to make a tunnel about five feet high and perhaps as long. + +In front of it stood Roland de Chumsfanleigh (it wasn't his fault). His +ancestors had been knights, and they had come to own the Chalk by killing +the kings who thought they did. Swords, that's what it had all been about. +Swords and cutting off heads. That was how you got land in the old days, +and then the rules were changed so that you didn't need a sword to own +land anymore, you just needed the right piece of paper. But his ancestors +had still hung on to their swords, just in case people thought that the +whole thing with the bits of paper had been unfair, it being a fact that +you can't please everybody. + +He'd always wanted to be good with a sword, and it had come as a shock to +find that they were so /heavy/. He was great at air sword. In front of a +mirror he could fence against his reflection and win nearly all the time. +Real swords didn't allow that. You tried to swing them and they ended up +swinging you. He'd realized that maybe he was more cut out for bits of +paper. Besides, he needed glasses, which could be a bit tricky under a +helmet, especially if someone was hitting /you/ with a sword. + + [Wintersmith, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Making Money (17) +# p. 187 (Harper edition -- what's become of Harper Torch?) +%passage 1 +"I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth." + +"Really? Why not?" + +"I don't know, thur. I didn't athk." + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 177 (originally transcribed from some other edition; Harper edition +# uses American spelling for "armor") +# [some off-duty Watchmen moonlight as bank security guards] +%passage 2 +The Watch armor he'd lifted from the bank's locker room fitted like a +glove. He'd have preferred it to fit like a helmet and breastplate. +But, in truth, it probably didn't look any better on its owner, currently +swanking along the corridors in the bank's own shiny but impractical armor. +It was common knowledge that the Watch's approach to uniforms was one-size- +doesn't-exactly-fit-anybody, and that Commander Vimes disapproved of armor +that didn't have that kicked-by-trolls look. He liked armor to state +clearly that it had been doing its job. + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 108 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 3 +"[...] The world is full of things worth more than gold. But we dig the +damn stuff up and then bury it in a different hole. Where's the sense in +that? What are we, magpies? Good heavens, /potatoes/ are worth more than +gold!" + +"Surely not!" + +"If you were shipwrecked on a desert island, what would you prefer, a bag +of potatoes or a bag of gold?" + +"Yes, but a desert island isn't Ankh-Morpork!" + +"And that proves gold is only valuable because we agree it is, right? +It's just a dream. But a potato is always worth a potato, anywhere. Add +a knob of butter and a pinch of salt and you've got a meal, /anywhere/. +Bury gold in the ground and you'll be worrying about thieves forever. +Bury a potato and in due season you could be looking at a dividend of a +thousand per cent." + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 22-24 (Albert Spangler is one of Moist Lipwig's aliases; +# 'dyslectic' is accurate) +%passage 4 +"Let us talk about angels," said Lord Vetinari. + +"Oh yes, I know that one," said Moist bitterly. "I've heard that one. +That's the one you got me with after I was hanged--" + +Vetinari raised an eyebrow. "Only mostly hanged, I think you'll find. To +within an inch of your life." + +"Whatever! I was hanged! And the worst part of that was finding out I +only got two paragraphs in the /Tanty Bugle/!(1) Two paragraphs, may I +say, for a life of ingenious, inventive, and strictly nonviolent crime? +I could have been an example to the youngsters! Page one got hogged by +the Dyslectic Alphabet Killer, and he only managed A and W!" + +"I confess the editor does appear to believe that it is not a proper crime +unless someone is found in three alleys at once, but that is the price of +a free press. And it suits us both, does it not, that Albert Spangler's +passage from this world was... unmemorable?" + +"Yes, but I wasn't expecting an afterlife like this! I have to do what +I'm told for the rest of my life?" + +"Correction, your new life. That is a crude summary, yes," said Vetinari. +"Let me rephrase things, however. Ahead of you, Mr. Lipwig, is a life of +respectable quiet contentment, of civic dignity, and, of course, in the +fullness of time, a pension. Not to mention, of course, the proud gold-ish +chain." + +Moist winced at this. "And if I /don't/ do what you say?" + +"Hmm? Oh, you misunderstand me, Mr. Lipwig. That is what will happen to +you if you decline my offer. If you accept it, you will survive on your +wits against powerful and dangerous enemies, with every day presenting +fresh challenges. Someone may even try to kill you." + +"What? Why?" + +"You annoy people. A hat goes with the job, incidentally." + +(1) A periodical published throughout the Plains, noted for its coverage +of murder (preferably 'orrible) trials, prison escapes, and the world that +in general is surrounded by a chalk outline. Very popular. + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +#p. 71 +%passage 5 +When he got back to the Post Office, Moist looked up the Lavish family in +/Whom's Whom/. They were indeed what was known of as "old money," which +meant that it had been made so long ago that the black deeds which had +originally filled the coffers were now historically irrelevant. Funny, +that: a brigand for a father was something you kept quiet about, but a +slave-taking pirate for a great-great-great-grandfather was something to +boast of over the port. Time turned the evil bastards into rogues, and +/rogue/ was a word with a twinkle in its eye and nothing to be ashamed of. + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 72 ('clacks' is a communication system, here analogous to a telegraph) +%passage 6 +He spotted the flimsy pink clacks among the other stuff and tugged it out +quickly. + +It was from Spike! + +He read: + + SUCCESS. RETURNING DAY AFTER TOMORROW. + ALL WILL BE REVEALED. S. + +Moist put it down carefully. + +Obviously she'd missed him terribly and was desperate to see him again, but +she was stingy about spending Golem Trust money. Also, she'd probably run +out of cigarettes. + +Moist drummed his fingers on the desk. A year ago he'd asked Adora Belle +Dearheart to be his wife, and she'd explained that, in fact, he was going +to be her husband. + +It was going to be... well, it was going to be sometime in the near future, +when Mrs. Dearheart finally lost patience with her daughter's busy schedule +and arranged the wedding herself. + +But he was a nearly married man, however you looked at it. And nearly +married men didn't get mixed up with the Lavish family. A nearly married +man was steadfast and dependable and always ready to hand his nearly wife +an ashtray. He had to be there for his oneday children, and make sure +they slept in a well-ventilated nursery. + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 79 (passage starts mid-paragraph; departed Mrs. Lavish is a bank owner) +%passage 7 +"[...] Now what, Mr. Death?" + +NOW? said Death. NOW, YOU COULD SAY, COMES... THE AUDIT. + +"Oh. There is one, is there? Well, I'm not ashamed." + +THAT COUNTS. + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 183-184 (American spelling of 'gray' is accurate) +%passage 8 +Moist lit the lamp and walked over to the battered wreckage of his wardrobe. +Once again he selected the tatty gray suit. It had sentimental value; he +had been hanged in it. And it was an unmemorable suit for an unmemorable +man, with the additional advantage, unlike black, of not showing up in the +dark.(1) [...] + +(1) Every assassin knew that real black often stood out in the dark, +because the night in the city is usually never full black, and that gray +or green merge much better. But they wore black anyway, because style +trumps utility every time. + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 218 (the Cabinet of Curiosity) +%passage 9 +"All right, then," said Moist, "/what does it do/?" + +"We don't know." + +"How does it work?" + +"We don't know." + +"Where did it come from?" + +"We don't know." + +"Well, that seems to be all," said Moist sarcastically. "Oh no, one last +one: what is it? And let me tell you, I'm agog." + +"That may be the wrong sort of question to ask," said Ponder, shaking his +head. "Technically it appears to be a classic Bag of Holding but with /n/ +mouths, where /n/ is the number of items in an eleven-dimensional universe, +which are not currently alive, not pink, and can fit in a cubical drawer +14.14 inches on a side, divided by P." + +"What's P?" + +"That may be the wrong sort of question." + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 225 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 10 +"[...] I'll talk to Dr. Hicks. He's the head of the Department of +Postmortem Communications." + +"Postmortem Com..." Moist began. "Isn't that the same as necroman--" + +"I said the /Department of Postmortem Communications/," said Ponder very +firmly. [...] + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 247 (it's a spirit summoned by Dr. Hicks that is describing the art/risk) +%passage 11 +"Necromancy is a fine art?" said Moist. + +"None finer, young man. Get things just a tiny bit wrong and the spirits +of the vengeful dead may enter your head via your ears and blow your brains +out down your nose." + +The eyes of Moist and Adora Belle focused on Dr. Hicks like those of an +archer on his target. He waved his hands frantically and mouthed, "Not +very often!" + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 269 +%passage 12 +"If you can't stand the heat, get off the pot, that's what I always say," +said a senior clerk, and there was a general murmur of agreement. + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 264 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 13 +[...] if the fundamental occult maxim "as above, so below" was true, then +so was "as below, so above"... + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 280 +%passage 14 +"In the Old Country we have a thaying," Igor volunteered. + +"A what?" + +"A thaying. We thay, 'if you don't want the monthter you don't pull the +lever.'" + +"You don't think I've gone mad, do you, Igor?" + +"Many great men have been conthidered mad, Mr. Hubert. Even Dr. Hanth +Forvord wath called mad. But I put it to you: could a madman have created +a revolutionary living-brain extractor?" + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 302 +%passage 15 +There was a saying: "Old necromancers never die." When he told them this, +people would say "... and?" and Hicks would have to reply, "That's all of +it, I'm afraid. Just 'Old necromancers never die.'" + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 336 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 16 +[...] What the iron maiden was to stupid tyrants, the committee was to +Lord Vetinari; it was only slightly more expensive,(1) far less messy, +considerably more efficient, and, best of all, you had to /force/ people +to climb inside the iron maiden. + +(1) The only real expense was tea and biscuits halfway through, which +seldom happened with the iron maiden. + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 361 (Mr. Slant is a zombie) +%passage 17 +"Mrs. Lavish, a lady many of us were privileged to know, recently confided +in me that she was dying," said Vetinari. "She asked me for advice on the +future of the bank, given that her obvious heirs were, in her words, 'as +nasty a bunch of weasels as you could ever hope not to meet--'" + +All thirty-one of the Lavish lawyers stood up and spoke at once, incuring +a total cost to clients of $AM119.28p. + +Mr. Slant glared at them. + +Mr. Slant did not, despite what had been said, have the respect of Ankh- +Morpork's legal profession. He commanded its fear. Death had not +diminished his encyclopedic memory, his guile, his talent for corkscrew +reasoning, and the vitriol of his stare. Do not cross me this day, it +advised the lawyers. Do not cross me, for if you do I will have the flesh +from your very bones and the marrow therein. You know those leather-bound +tomes you have on the wall behind your desks to impress your clients? I +have read them all, and wrote half of them. Do not try me. I am not in a +good mood. + +One by one, they sat down.(1) + +(1) Total cost, including time and disbursements: $AM253.16p. + + [Making Money, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Unseen Academicals (12) +# p. 68 (Harper edition) +%passage 1 +Be one of the crowd? It went against everything a wizard stood for, +and a wizard would not stand for anything if he could sit down for it, +but even sitting down, you had to stand out. + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 1 (footnote, so "(1)" ought to be "(2)", but somebody would complain...) +%passage 2 +Technically, the city of Ankh-Morpork is a Tyranny, which is not always +the same thing as a monarchy, and in fact even the post of Tyrant has been +somewhat redefined by the incumbent, Lord Vetinari, as the only form of +democracy that works. Everyone is entitled to vote, unless disqualified +by reason of age or not being Lord Vetinari. + +And yet it does work. This has annoyed a number of people who feel, +somehow, that it should not work, and who want a monarch instead, thus +replacing a man who has achieved his position by cunning, a deep +understanding of the realities of the human psyche, breathtaking +diplomancy, a certain prowess with the stiletto dagger, and, all agree, +a mind like a finely balanced circular saw, with a man who has got there +by being born.(1) + +However, the crown has hung on anyway, as crowns do--on the Post Office +and the Royal Bank and the Mint and, not least, in the sprawling, +brawling, squalling consciousness of the city itself. Lots of things +live in that darkness. There are all kinds of darkness, and all kinds +of things can be found in them, imprisoned, banished, lost or hidden. +Sometimes they escape. Sometimes they simply fall out. Sometimes they +just can't take it any more. + +(1) A third proposition, that the city be governed by a choice of +respectable members of the community who would promise not to give +themselves airs or betray the public trust at every turn, was instantly +the subject of music hall jokes all over the city. + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 16 +%passage 3 +A wizard could do what he liked in his own study, and in the old days that +had largely meant smoking anything he fancied and farting hugely without +apologizing. These days it meant building out into a congruent set of +dimensions. Even the Archchancellor was doing it, which made it hard for +Ponder to protest: he had half a mile of trout stream in his bathroom, +and claimed that messin' about in his study was what kept a wizard out +of mischief. And, as everyone knew, it did. It generally got him into +trouble instead. + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 18 (Ridcully is furious at the former Dean, who left UU to become a +# rival [Arch-]Chancellor at Brazeneck University in Pseudopolis) +%passage 4 +"Remuneration? Since when did a wizard work for wages? We are pure +academics, Mister Stibbons! We do not care for mere money!" + +Unfortunately, Ponder was a clear logical thinker who, in times of mental +confusion, fell back on reason and honesty, which, when dealing with an +angry Archchancellor, were, to use the proper academic term, unhelpful. +And he neglected to think strategically, always a mistake when talking to +fellow academics, and as a result made the mistake of employing, as at +this point, common sense. + +"That's because we never actually pay for anything very much," he said, +"and if anyone needs any petty cash they just help themselves from the +big jar--" + +"We are part of the very fabric of the university, Mister Stibbons! We +take only what we require! We do not seek wealth! And most certainly +we do not accept a 'post of vital importance which includes an attractive +package of remuneration,' whatever the hells that means, 'and other +benefits including a generous pension!' A pension, mark you! When has a +wizard ever retired?" + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 19 (She: plump Glenda; Her: fashion-model-to-be Juliet) +%passage 5 +She was, in fact, quite a pleasant looking girl, even if her bosom had +clearly been intended for a girl two feet taller; but she was not Her.(1) + +(1) The Egregious Professor of Grammar and Usage would have corrected +this to "she was not she," which would have caused the Professor of Logic +to spit out his drink. + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 48 (He: Nutt, a key element of the story who doesn't figure in any +# of the other selected passages...) +%passage 6 +He'd tried wandering around the other cellars, but there was nothing much +happening at night, and people gave him funny looks. Ladyship did not +rule here. But wizards are a messy lot and nobody tidied up much and +lived to tell the tale, so all sorts of old storerooms and junk-filled +workshops became his for the use of. And there was so much for a lad with +keen night vision to find. He had already seen some luminous spoon ants +carrying a fork, and, to his surprise, the forgotten mazes were home to +that very rare indoorovore, the Uncommon Sock Eater. There were some +things living up in the pipes, too, which periodically murmured "Awk! Awk!" +Who knew what strange monsters made their home here? + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 58 +%passage 7 +Truth is female, since truth is beauty rather than handsomeness; this, +Ridcully reflected as the Council grumbled in, would certainly explain +the saying that a lie could run around the world before Truth got its, +correction, /her/ boots on, and since she would have to choose which +pair--the idea that any woman in the position to choose would have just +one pair of boots being beyond rational belief. Indeed, as a goddess she +would have lots of shoes, and thus many choices: comfy shoes for home +truths, hobnail boots for unpleasant truths, simple clogs for universal +truths and possibly some kind of slipper for self-evident truth. More +important right now was what kind of truth he was going to have to impart +to his colleagues, and he decided not on the whole truth, but instead on +nothing but the truth, which dispensed with the need for honesty. + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 166 (see "the wrong sort of question" passage from /Making Money/ +# for a description of the Cabinet; items removed from it have to +# be returned within 14:14 hours or they're drawn back magically; +# student in question had removed a sandwich and then eaten it) +%passage 8 +"Yes, sir?" said Ponder wearily. + +"Promote him. Whatever level he is, move him up one." + +"I think that'll send the wrong kind of signal," Ponder tried. + +"On the contrary, Mister Stibbons. It will send exactly the right kind of +message to the student body." + +"But he disobeyed an express order, may I point out?" + +"That's right. He showed independent thinking and a certain amount of +pluck, and in the course of so doing added valuable data to our +understanding of the Cabinet." + +"But he might have destroyed the whole university, sir." + +"Right, in which case he would have been vigorously disciplined, if we'd +been able to find anything left of him. But he didn't and he was lucky +and we need lucky wizards. Promote him, on the direct order of me, not +pp'd at all. Incidentally, how loud were his screams?" + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 192-193 ('pants': underpants; 'football': soccer ;-) +%passage 9 +"You will arrange yourself into two teams, set up goals, and strive to win! +No man will leave the field of play unless injured! The hands are not to +be used, is that clear? Any questions?" A hand went up. Ridcully sought +the attached face. + +"Ah, Rincewind," he said, and, because he was not a determinedly unpleasant +man, amended this to, "Professor Rincewind, of course." + +"I would like permission to fetch a note from my mother, sir." + +Ridcully sighed. "Rincewind, you once informed me, to my everlasting +puzzlement, that you never knew your mother because she ran away before +you were born. Distinctly remember writing it down in my diary. Would +you like another try?" + +"Permission to go and find my mother?" + +Ridcully hesitated. The Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography had no +students and no real duties other than to stay out of trouble. Although +Ridcully would never admit it, it was against all reason an emeritus +position. Rincewind was a coward and an unwitting clown, but he had +several times saved the world in slightly puzzling circumstances. He was +a luck sink, the Archchancellor decided, doomed to being a lightning rod +for the fates so that everyone else didn't have to. Such a person was +worth all his meals and laundry (including an above-average level of +soiled pants) and a bucket of coal every day even if he was, in Ridcully's +opinion, a bit of a whiner. However, he was fast, and therefore useful. + +"Look," said Rincewind, "a mysterious urn turns up and suddenly it's all +about football. That bodes. It means that something bad is going to +happen." + +"Come now, it could be something wonderful," Ridcully protested. + +Rincewind appeared to give this due consideration. "Could be wonderful, +will be dreadful. Sorry, that's how it goes." + +"This is Unseen University, Rincewind. What is there to fear?" Ridcully +said. "Apart from me, of course. Good heavens, this is a sport." He +raised his voice. "Arrange yourselves into two teams and play football!" + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 268 (passage starts mid-paragraph; Glenda is cleaning UU's Night Kitchen) +%passage 10 +[...] If you wanted a job done properly, you had to do it yourself. +Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say +it was erratic, past all understanding and seldom seen. + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 358-359 +%passage 11 +"Well, big day, lads!" said Ridcully. "Looks like there's going to be a +nice day for it as well. They're all over there waiting for us to give +them a show. I want you to approach this in the best traditions of Unseen +University sportsmanship, which is to cheat whenever you are unobserved, +though I fear that the chance of anyone being unobserved today is remote. +But in any case, I want you to give it one hundred and ten percent." + +"Excuse me, Archchancellor," said Ponder Stibbons. "I understand the +sense of what you are saying, but there is only one hundred percent." + +"Well, they could give it one hundred and ten percent if they tried +harder," said Ridcully. + +"Well, yes and no, sir. But, in fact, that would mean that you had just +made the one hundred percent bigger while it would still be one hundred +percent. Besides, there is only so fast a man can run, only so high a man +can jump. I just wanted to make the point." + +"Good point, well made," said Ridcully, dismissing it instantly. [...] + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 363 (more lyrics occur later on; they're generally about using +# economics to conquer any opposition) +%passage 12 +The singing of the National Anthem was always a ragged affair, the good +people of Ankh-Morpork feeling that it was unpatriotic to sing songs about +how patriotic you were, taking the view that someone singing a song about +how patriotic they were was either up to something or a Head of State.(1) + +An additional problem today lay in the acoustics of the arena, which were +rather too good, coupled with the fact that the speed of sound at one end +of the stadium was slightly offbeat compared with the other end, a +drawback exacerbated when both sides tried to recover the gap. + +These acoustical anomalies did not count for much if you were standing +next to Mustrum Ridcully, as the Archchancellor was one of those gentleman +who will sing it beautifully, correctly enunciated and very, very loudly. + +"'When dragons belch and hippos flee, my thoughts, Ankh-Morpork, are of +thee.'" he began. + +(1) i.e., up to something. + + [Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title I Shall Wear Midnight (13) +# p. 447 (Harper edition; this passage is a quote from the "Authur's Note", +# three extra pages after the conclusion of the story; there is a +# similar, slightly shorter version of this in the text on p. 236, +# where it's preceded by "The past needs to be remembered." but +# lacks the final 'going wrong' sentence) +%passage 1 +It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not +know where you come from, then you don't know where you are, and if you +don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. And if you +don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong. + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 429-430 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 2 +"[...] There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could +change the past. Well, I can't, but I can change the present, so that +when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having. [...]" + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 2 (passage starts mid-paragraph; scene is a village fair) +%passage 3 +[...] And so here, [...], you heard the permanent scream of, well, +everyone. It was called having fun. The only people not making any noise +were the thieves and pickpockets, who went about their business with +commendable silence, and they didn't come near Tiffany; who would pick a +witch's pocket? You would be lucky to get all your fingers back. At +least, that's what they feared, and a sensible witch would encourage them +in this fear. + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 61 +%passage 4 +/The hare runs into the fire./ + +Had she seen that written down anywhere? Had she heard it as part of a +song? A nursery rhyme? What had the hare got to do with anything? But +she was a witch, after all, and there was a job to do. Mysterious omens +could wait. Witches knew that mysterious omens were around all the time. +The world was always very nearly drowning in mysterious omens. You just +had to pick the one that was convenient. + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 64 +%passage 5 +That was the thing about thoughts. They thought themselves, and then +dropped into your head in the hope that you would think so too. You had +to slap them down, thoughts like that; they would take a witch over if she +let them. And then it would all break down, and nothing would be left but +the cackling. + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 65 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 6 +"[...] It just so happens that I was passing by, ye ken, and not +following ye at all. One of them coincidences." + +"There have been a lot of those coincidences lately," said Tiffany. + +"Aye," said Rob, grinning, "it must be another coincidence." + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 179-180 +%passage 7 +Tiffany cleared her throat. "Well," she said, "I suppose Rob Anybody would +tell you that there are times when promises should be kept and times when +promises should be broken, and it takes a Feegle to know the difference." + +Mrs. Proust grinned hugely. "You could almost be from the city, Miss +Tiffany Aching." + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 183 (Wee Mad Arthur is a member of the Ankh-Morpork Watch; he was a +# foundling raised by gnomes and didn't know he was a Feegle until +# he met with the ones accompanying Tiffany) +%passage 8 +Despite himself, Wee Mad Arthur was grinning. "Have you boys got no shame?" + +Rob Anybody matched him grin for grin. "I couldna say," he replied, "but +if we have, it probably belonged tae somebody else." + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 219 (footnote) +%passage 9 +There is a lot of folklore about equestrian statues, especially the ones +with riders on them. There is said to be a code in the number and +placement of the horse's hooves: If one of the horse's hooves is in the +air, the rider was wounded in battle; two legs in the air means that the +rider was killed in battle; three legs in the air indicates that the +rider got lost on the way to the battle; and four legs in the air means +that the sculptor was very, very clever. Five legs in the air means that +there's probably at least one other horse standing behind the one you're +looking at; and the rider lying on the ground with his horse lying on top +of him with all four legs in the air means that the rider was either a +very incompetent horseman or owned a very bad-tempered horse. + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 318 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 10 +[...] "Knowledge is power, power is energy, energy is matter, matter is +mass, and mass changes time and space." [...] + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 362 (passage starts mid-paragraph; speaker is Preston, a castle guard; +# quote is a parody of J.R.R.Tolkien's "Do not meddle in the affairs +# of wizards, for they are subtle, and quick to anger.") +%passage 11 +[...] "My granny said, 'Don't meddle in the affairs of witches because +they clout you around the ear.'" + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 386-387 (Tiffany is trying to rescue some witches from a castle roof) +%passage 12 +Tiffany crawled a little farther, well aware of the sheer drop an inch +away from her hand. "Preston has gone to fetch a rope. Do you have a +broomstick?" + +"A sheep crashed into it," said Mrs. Proust. + +Tiffany could just make her out now. "You crashed into a sheep in +/the air/?" + +"Maybe it was a cow, or something. What are those things that go +/snuffle snuffle/?" + +"You ran into a flying hedgehog?" + +"No, as it happened. We were down low, looking for a bush for Mrs. +Happenstance." There was a sigh in the gloom. "It's because of her +trouble, poor soul. We've stopped at a lot of bushes on the way here, +believe me! And do you know what? Inside every single one of them is +something that stings, bites, kicks, screams, howls, squelches, farts +enormously, goes all spiky, tries to knock you over, or does an enormous +pile of poo! Haven't you people up here ever heard of porcelain?" + +Tiffany was taken aback. "Well, yes, but not in the fields!" + +"They would be all the better for it," said Mrs. Proust. "I've ruined +a decent pair of boots, I have." + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 442 (passage starts mid-paragraph; see /The Wee Free Men/; +# 'underrr' and 'ag-rreeeed' are accurate; 'arr-angement' is +# hyphenated to span lines--it's just a guess that it would have +# been hyphenated anyway) +%passage 13 +"Nae king, nae quin, nae laird! One baron--and underrr mutually +ag-rreeeed arr-angement, ye ken!" + + [I Shall Wear Midnight, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Snuff (16) +# p. 168 (Harper edition; 'ax' is spelled without the 'e' there...) +%passage 1 +They were crude weapons, to be sure, but a flint axe hitting your head does +not need a degree in physics. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%passage 2 +It is a strange thing to find yourself doing something you have apparently +always wanted to do, when in fact up until that moment you had never known +that you always wanted to do it... + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 2 (the subject is goblins) +%passage 3 +At this point, Lord Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, stopped reading +and stared at nothing. After a few seconds, nothing was eclipsed by the +form of Drumknott, his secretary (who, it must be said, had spent a career +turning himself as much like nothing as anything). + +Drumknott said, "You look pensive, my lord," to which observation he +appended a most delicate question mark, which gradually evaporated. + +"Awash with tears, Drumknott, awash with tears." + +Drumknott stopped dusting the impeccably shiny black lacquered desk. +"Pastor Oats is a very persuasive writer, isn't he, sir...?" + +"Indeed he is, Drumknott, but the basic problem remains and it is this: +humanity may come to terms with the dwarf, the troll and even the orc, +terrifying though all these have proved to be at times, and you know why +this is, Drumknott?" + +The secretary carefully folded the duster he had been using and looked at +the ceiling. "I would venture to suggest, my lord, that in their violence +we recognize ourselves?" + +"Oh, well done, Drumknott, I shall make a cynic of you yet! Predators +respect other predators, do they not? They may perhaps even respect the +prey: the lion may lie down with the lamb, even if only the lion is +likely to get up again, but the lion will not lie down with the rat. +Vermin, Drumknott, an entire race reduced to vermin!" + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 6 +%passage 4 +Vimes grunted. "Where there are policemen there's crime, sergeant, +remember that." + +"Yes, I do, sir, although I think it sounds better with a little reordering +of the words." + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 46-47 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph; it's a +# long slog for a weak punchline...) +%passage 5 +"[...] The third earl, 'Mad' Jack Ramkin, had a brother called +Woolsthorpe, probably for his sins. He was something of a scholar and +would have been sent to the university to become a wizard were it not for +the fact that his brother let it be known that any male sibling of his who +took up a profession that involved wearing a dress would be disinherited +with a cleaver. + +"Nevertheless, young Woolsthorpe persevered in his studies in natural +philosophy in the way a gentleman should, by digging into any suspicious- +looking burial mounds he could find in the neighborhood, filling up his +lizard press with as many rare species as he could collect, and drying +samples of any flowers he could find before they became extinct. The +story runs that, on one warm summer day, he dozed off under an apple tree +and was awakened when an apple fell on his head. A lesser man, as his +biographer put it, would have seen nothing untoward about this, but +Woolsthorpe surmised that, since apples and practically everything else +always fell down, then the world would eventually become dangerously +unbalanced... unless there was another agency involved that natural +philosophy had yet to discover. He lost no time in dragging one of the +footmen to the orchard and ordering him, on the pain of dismissal, to lie +under the tree until an apple hit him on the head! The possibility of +this happening was increased by another footman who had been told by +Woolsthorpe to shake the tree vigorously until the required apple fell. +Woolsthorpe was ready to observe this from a distance. + +"Who can imagine his joy when the inevitable apple fell and a second apple +was seen rising from the tree and disappearing at speed into the vaults of +heaven, proving the hypothesis that what goes up must come down, provided +that what goes down must come up, thus safeguarding the equilibrium of the +Universe. Regrettably, this only works with apples and, amazingly, only +the apples on this one tree, /Malus equilibria/! I hear that someone has +worked out that the apples at the top of the tree fill with gas and fly up +when the tree is disturbed so that it can set its seeds some way off. +Wonderful thing, nature, shame the fruit tastes like dog's business," +Willikins added as Young Sam spat some out. [...] + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 100 +%passage 6 +"Look, Willikins, I don't like to involve you in all this. It's only a +hunch, after all." + +Willikins waved this away. "You wouldn't keep me out of it for a big +clock, sir, because all this is tickling my fancy as well. I shall lay +out a selection of cutting edges for you in your dressing room, sir, and I +myself will go up to the copse half an hour before you're due to be there, +with my trusty bow and an assortment of favorite playthings. It's nearly +full moon, clear skies, there'll be shadows everywhere, and I'll be +standing in the darkest one of them." + +Vimes looked at him for a moment and said, "Could I please amend that +suggestion? Could you not be there in the second darkest shadow one hour +before midnight, to see who steps into the darkest shadow?" + +"Ah yes, that's why you command the watch, sir," said Willikins, and to +Vimes's shock there was a hint of a tear in the man's voice. "You're +listening to the street, aren't you, sir, yes?" + +Vimes shrugged. "No streets here, Willikins." + +Willikins shook his head. "Once a street boy, always a street boy, sir. +It comes with us, in the pinch. Mothers go, fathers go--if we ever knew +who they were--but the Street, well, the Street looks after us. In the +pinch it keeps us alive." + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 116 (passage ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 7 +Well, we live and learn, Vimes thought, or perhaps more importantly, we +learn and live. [...] + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 153 +%passage 8 +In the country, there is always somebody watching you, he thought as they +sped along. Well, there was always somebody watching you in the city, too, +but that was generally in the hope that you might drop dead and they could +run off with your wallet. They were never /interested/. But here he +thought he could feel many eyes on him. Maybe they belonged to squirrels +or badgers, or whatever the damn things were that Vimes heard at night; +gorillas, possibly. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 169-170 +%passage 9 +"Well, sir, it looks as though they're pleased to see us, yes?" + +Feeney's relief and hope should have been bottled and sold to despairing +people everywhere. Vimes just nodded, because the ranks were pulling +apart, leaving a pathway of sorts, at the end of which there was, +inarguably, a corpse. It was a mild relief to see that it was a goblin +corpse, but no corpse is good news, particularly when seen in a grimy low +light and especially for the corpse. And yet something inside him exulted +and cried /Hallelujah!/, because here was a corpse and he was a copper +and this was a crime and this place was smoky and dirty and full of +suspicious-looking goblins and here was a /crime/. His world. Yes, here +was /his/ world. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 211 +%passage 10 +Vimes lay back in the bed, enjoying the wonderful sensation of gradually +being eaten by the pillows, and said to Sybil, "Do the Rust family have a +place down here?" + +Too late he reflected that this might be a bad move because she might well +have told him all about it on one of those occasions when, so unusually for +a married man, he was not paying much attention to what his wife was +saying, and therefore he might be the cause of grumpiness in those +precious, warm minutes before sleep. All he could see of her right now +was the very tip of her nose, as the pillows claimed her, but she mumbled, +drowsily, "Oh, they bought Hangnail Manor ten years or so ago, after the +Marquis of Fantailer murdered his wife with a pruning knife in the +pineapple house. Don't you remember? You spent weeks searching the city +for him. In the end everybody seemed to think he'd gone off to Fourecks +and disguised himself by not calling himself the Marquis of Fantailer." + +"Oh yes," said Vimes, "and I remember that a lot of his chums were quite +indignant about the investigation! They said he'd only done one murder, +and it was his wife's fault for having the bad taste to die after just one +little stab!" + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 212 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 11 +[...] he had heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns +drinking champagne.(1) [...] + +(1) This is, of course, absolutely true. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 217 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 12 +"[...] and the Summoning Dark is /real/. It's not all in your head, +commander: no matter what you hear, I sometimes hear it too. Oh dear, +you of all people must recognize a substition when you're possessed by it? +It's the opposite of superstition: it's real even if you don't believe +in it. [...]" + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 233 +%passage 13 +Vimes frowned. He couldn't remember ever going into a church or a temple +or one of the numerous other places of more or less spirituality for any +other reason than the occasional requirements of the job. These days he +tended to go in for reasons of Sybil, i.e., his wife dragging him along +so that he could be seen, and, if possible, seen remaining awake. + +No, the world of next worlds, afterlives, and purgatorial destinations +simply did not fit into his head. Whether you wanted it or not, you were +born, you did the best you could, and then, whether you really wanted to +or not, you died. They were the only certainties, and so the best thing +for a copper to do was to get on with the job. And it was about time +that Sam Vimes got back to doing his. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 254 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 14 +[...] And maybe if I distinguish myself I can get a job in the city, so +that my mum can live in a place where you don't lie awake at night +listening to the mice fighting the cockroaches--hooray!(1) + +(1) Regrettably, Constable Upshot was overly hopeful: in Ankh-Morpork the +mice and cockroaches had decided to forget their differences and gang up +on the humans. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 403 (passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 15 +"[...] And I remember reading somewhere that you would arrest the gods +for doing it wrong." + +Vimes shook his head. "I'm sure I never said anything of the sort! But +law is order and order is law and it must be the highest thing. The world +runs on it, the heavens run on it and without order, lad, one second +cannot follow another." + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 404 (footnote) +%passage 16 +The sound of the gentle rattle of china cup on china saucer drives away +all demons, a little-known fact. + + [Snuff, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# +%title Raising Steam (13) +# p. 281 (Anchor Books edition; passage starts mid-paragraph) +%passage 1 +[...] And yesterday you never thought about it and after today you don't +know what you would do without it. That was what the technology was doing. +It was your slave but, in a sense, it might be the other way round. + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 358 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph; quote is +# attributed to Lord Vetinari but he's not present in the scene) +%passage 2 +"If you take enough precautions, you never need to take precautions." + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 57 (Anchor Books edition) +%passage 3 +Rhys Rhysson, Low King of the dwarfs, was a dwarf of keen intelligence, +but he sometimes wondered why someone with that intelligence would go into +dwarfish politics, let alone be King of the Dwarfs. Lord Vetinari had it +so easy he must hardly know he was born! The King thought that humans +were, well, reasonably sensible, whereas there was an old dwarf proverb +which, translated, said, "Any three dwarfs having a sensible conversation +will always end up having four points of view." + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 64 +%passage 4 +Curious, the Patrician thought, as Drumknott hurried away to dispatch a +clacks to the editor of the /Times/, that people in Ankh-Morpork professed +not to like change while at the same time fixating on every new +entertainment and diversion that came their way. There was nothing the +mob liked better than novelty. Lord Vetinari sighed again. Did they +actually think? These days /everybody/ used the clacks, even little old +ladies who used it to send him clacks messages complaining about all +these newfangled ideas, totally missing the irony. And in this doleful +mood he ventured to wonder if they ever thought back to when things were +just old-fangled or not fangled at all as against the modern day when +fangled had reached its apogee. Fangling was indeed, he thought, here +to stay. Then he wondered: had anyone ever thought of themselves as a +fangler? + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 175 (third paragraph has a final sentence, but it's about 'grags' +# which wouldn't make any sense here where's no context about them) +%passage 5 +"Mister Lipwig, you know what they say about dwarfs?" + +Moist looked blank. "Very small people?" + +"'Two dwarfs is an argument, three dwarfs is a war,' Mister Lipwig. It's +squabble, squabble, squabble. It's built into their culture. [...]" + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 233 (second paragraph of a footnote) +%passage 6 +There clearly has been magic at work in the Netherglades and its future as +the pharmacopoeia of the world is being tested by Professor Rincewind of +Unseen University. A dispatch from him reveals that the juice pressed from +a certain little yellow flower induces certainty in the patient for up to +fifteen minutes. About what they are certain they cannot specify, but the +patient is, in that short time, completely certain about /everything/. And +further research has found that a floating water hyacinth yields in its +juices total /un/certainty about anything for half a hour. Philosophers +are excited about the uses for these potions, and the search continues for +a plant that combines the qualities of both, thereby being of great use to +theologians. + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 288 +%passage 7 +The town of Big Cabbage, theoretically the last place any sensible person +would want to visit, was nevertheless popular throughout the summer because +of the attractions of Brassica World and the Cabbage Research Institute, +whose students were the first to get a cabbage to a height of five hundred +yards propelled entirely by its own juices. Nobody asked why they felt it +was necessary to do this, but that was science for you, and, of course, +students. + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 363-364 ("Of the Wheel the Spoke" is the goblin's formal name; perhaps +# a new name chosen or given after inventing the bicycle?) +%passage 8 +A few weeks later, Drumknott persuaded Lord Vetinari to accompany him to +the area behind the palace where a jungle of drain pipes emptied and +several mismatched sheds, washhouses, and lean-tos housed some of the +necessary functions without which a modern palace could not operate.(1) + +There was a young goblin waiting there, rather nervous, clasping what +looked like two wheels held together by not very much. The wheels were +spinning. + +Drumknott cleared his throat. "Show his lordship your new invention, +Mister Of the Wheel the Spoke." + +(1) Frankly most palaces are just like this. Their backsides do not bear +looking at. + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +## +# passages 9..13 added after 3.6.0's release +## +# pp. 20-21 +%passage 9 +Moist Von Lipwig had done some heavy work once and couldn't see any future +in it, but he could look at it for hours, provided other people were doing +it, of course, and clearly some of them liked what they were doing, and so +he shrugged and felt happy that Crisp was happy being a handyman whilst +Moist was happy not picking up anything that was heavier than a glass. +After all, his work was unseen and depended on words, which were +fortunately not very heavy and didn't need grease. In his career as a +crook they had served him well and now he felt somewhat smug at using them +to the benefit of the citizenry. + +There was a difference between a banker and a crook, there really was, and +although it was very, very teeny Moist felt that he should point out that +it did exist and, besides, Lord Vetinari always had his eye on him. + +So everybody was happy and Moist went to work in very clean clothes and +with a very clean conscience. + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 22 +%passage 10 +Harry, red-faced and impatient, looked over his desk and said to him, "Lad, +time is money and I'm a busy man. You told Nancy down on reception that +you've got something I might like. Now stop fidgeting and look me in the +face square like. If you're another chancer wanting to bamboozle me I'll +have you down the Effing stairs(1) before you know it." + +(1) The wonderfully colored oak wood of the Effing Forest was much in +demand for high-class joinery. + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 80 +%passage 11 +Moist knew about the zeitgeist, he tasted it in the wind, and sometimes it +allowed him to play with it. He understood it, and now it hinted at speed, +escape, something wonderfully new, the very bones of the land awakening, +and suddenly it seemed to cry out for motion, new horizons, faraway places, +/anywhere that is not here/! No doubt about it, the railway was going to +turn coal into gold. + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 195 (passage starts mid-paragraph and ends mid-paragraph) +%passage 12 +And the trouble with madness was that the mad didn't know they were mad. + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 284 (passage starts mid-paragraph; speaker is Cmdr Vimes of the Watch) +%passage 13 +"[...] That's the trouble, you see. When you've had hatred on your tongue +for such a long time, you don't know how to spit it out." + + [Raising Steam, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +# +# Sir Terry Pratchett's final book, published posthumously. +# The story is complete, but the length is substantially shorter than +# other recent Discworld novels. Presumably it would have been expanded +# if he had had more time to work on it.... +# +%title The Shepherd's Crown (7) +# pp. 29-30 (Harper edition) +%passage 1 +"It's an inconvenience, true enough, and I don't like it at all, but I +know that you do it for everyone, Mr. Death. Is there any other way?" + +NO, THERE ISN'T, I'M AFRAID. WE ARE ALL FLOATING IN THE WINDS OF TIME. +BUT YOUR CANDLE, MISTRESS WEATHERWAX, WILL FLICKER FOR SOME TIME BEFORE +IT GOES OUT--A LITTLE REWARD FOR A LIFE WELL LIVED. FOR I CAN SEE THE +BALANCE AND YOU HAVE LEFT THE WORLD MUCH BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT, AND +IF YOU ASK ME, said Death, NOBODY COULD DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT.... + + [The Shepherd's Crown, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 30 ('she' is Miss Tick, a travelling witch who finds new witches; +# 'under water' is spelled as two words; 'ducking' is accurate) +%passage 2 +She sighed. It was such a shame when old customs disappeared. A good +witch-ducking was something she had liked doing in the bad old days--she +had even /trained/ for it. All those swimming lessons, and practice with +knots at the Quirm College for Young Ladies. She had been able to defeat +the mobs under water if necessary. Or at least work at breaking her own +record for untying the simple knots they all thought worked on the nasty +witch. + +Now, a bit of pond-dipping had become more like a hobby, and she had a +nasty feeling that others were copying her after she passed through their +villages. She'd even heard talk of a swimming club being started in one +small hamlet over by Ham-on-Rye.(1) + +(1) A popular idea among the young lads, since they felt that everyone-- +and "everyone" definitely included the young ladies--should swim without +their clothes. + + [The Shepherd's Crown, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 37 (passage starts mid-paragraph; 'she' is Tiffany Aching) +%passage 3 +Not for the first time, she wondered how it was that cats seemed to be +able to be in one place one moment, and then /almost at the same time/, +reappear somewhere else.(1) + +(1) She did not know it, but a keen young philosopher in Ephebe had +pondered exactly that same conumdrum, until he was found one morning-- +most of him, anyway--surrounded by a number of purring, and very well fed, +cats. No one had seemed keen to continue his experiments after that. + + [The Shepherd's Crown, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# pp. 112-113 (the footnote has a misprint of mismatched quotes: "Chuffley') +%passage 4 +Roland de Chumsfanleigh,(1) the young Baron on the Chalk /did/ want to be +like his father in many ways. He knew the old man had been popular--what +was known as an "old-school Baron," which meant that everyone knew what +to expect and the guards polished up their armor and saluted, and did +what was expected of /them/, while the Baron did what was expected of him, +and pretty much left them alone. + +But his father had also been a bit of a bad-tempered bully at times. And +/that/ bit Roland wanted to forget about. He particularly wanted to sound +the right note when he called round to see Tiffany Aching at Home Farm. +For they had once been good friends, and to Roland's alarm, Tiffany was +thought of as a good friend by his wife Letitia. Any man with sense was +wise to be fearful of a wife's best friends. For who knew what ... little +secrets might be shared. Roland, having been educated at home and with +limited knowledge of the world outside the Chalk, feared that "little" +might be /exactly/ the kind of comment Letitia might share with Tiffany. + +(1) Pronounced "Chuffley" under the strange rule that the more gentrified +a family is, the more peculiar the pronunciation of their name becomes. +Tiffany had once heard a high-born visitor named Ponsonby-Macklewright +(/Pwt/) refer to Roland as /Chf/. She wondered how they managed at dinner +when /Pwt/ introduced /Chf/ to /Wm/ or /Hmpfh/. Surely it could lead to +misunderstandings? + + [The Shepherd's Crown, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 158 +%passage 5 +He kicked the helmet of his chief, the Big Man of the clan, and shouted, +"There's elves here! I can smell it, ye ken!" + +And from every hole in turn, the clan of the Nac Mac Feegle poured out in +their hundreds to deal with the ancient enemy, waving claymores and swords, +yodeling their war cries: + +"Ach, stickit yer trakkans!" + +"Nac Mac Feegle wha hae!" + +"Gae awa' wi' ye, yer bogle!" + +"Gi'e you sich a guid kickin'!" + +"Nae king! Nae quin! We will nae be fooled agin!" + +There is a concept known as a hustle and bustle, and the Feegles were very +good at it, cheerfully getting in one another's way in the drive to be the +first into battle, and it seemed as if each small warrior had a battle cry +of his own--and he was very ready to fight anyone who tried to take it +away from him. + +"How many elves?" asked Rob Anybody, trying to adjust his spog. + +There was a pause. + +"One," said Big Yan sheepishly. + + [The Shepherd's Crown, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 159 (passage starts mid-paragraph. 'oor' is accurate) +%passage 6 +"This elf is oor prisoner. A hostage, ye ken. That means ye are nae tae +kill it until ye are told." He ignored the grumbles from the clan. "As +tae the rest o' ye, tak guard around yon stones. And if they come in +force, show them what the Feegles can dae!" + +Daft Wullie said, "I can play the harmonica." + +Rob Anybody sighed. "Aye, weel, I suppose that puts the willies up me, +so wud likely keep them awa'." + + [The Shepherd's Crown, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +# p. 202 +%passage 7 +Sometimes, Tiffany thought, I am so /fed up/ with being young.(1) + +(1) A thought that she would most certainly grow out of, assuming she +survived long enough. + + [The Shepherd's Crown, by Terry Pratchett] +%e passage +%e title +# +%e section +# +#----------------------------------------------------- +# Used for interaction with Death. +# +# Death Quotes are always one line, and '%e passage' can be omitted. +# +%section Death +%title Death Quotes (31) +%passage 1 +第一个原始细胞出现时, 我已在. 人类所在之处, 我亦同在. 当最后一个生命在寒星下蹒跚爬行时, 我仍将临. +%e passage +# Feet of Clay, p. 17 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 2 +我是死神, 不是税吏. 而且只现身一次. +%e passage +# Men at Arms, p. 27 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 3 +不妨看作... 在维度上吃了亏. +%e passage +# Soul Music, p. 146 (Harper Torch edition; we omit "said Death," after comma) +%passage 4 +或许我允许自己近期有些许微小的情感波动, 但随时可以戒掉. +%e passage +%passage 5 +# Not a direct quote, but a reference to Thief of Time and the fact that +# the player is War +你最近和罗尼谈过了吗? +%e passage +# Raising Steam, p. 180 (Anchor Books edition) +%passage 6 +请别惊慌. 你只是死了. +%e passage +# Small Gods, p. 90 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 7 +起初总会有些困惑. 这也只是意料之中. +%e passage +# Hogfather, p. 343 (Harper Torch edition; Death "lives" outside of normal +# time and space) +%passage 8 +临到头了, 总还来得及再磨蹭一下. +# Wintersmith, p. 187 (HarperTeen edition; dying Miss Treason takes a ham +# [too silly?] sandwich with her to the grave, and it accompanies +# her to the afterlife, but its condiments don't) +%passage 9 +芥末总是令人够呛. +%passage 10 +各种酱菜腌菜倒是都带不走, 怪对不住的. +# The Colour of Magic, p. 68 (Signet edition) +%passage 11 +这一点也不疼. +# p. 177 +%passage 12 +我们该走了吧? +# p. 251 (speaker is actually a demon named 'Scrofula' filling in for Death) +%passage 13 +我来接你了. +# The Light Fantastic, p. 52 (Signet edition; quote has quotation marks but +# including them here wouldn't fit with the rest; +# Death is addressing an elderly wizard who went +# to extreme measures to hide himself [from Death]) +%passage 14 +可真够黑的, 你说是吗? +# Equal Rites, p. 14 (Signet edition; second sentence continues +# 'said the deep, heavy voice...') +%passage 15 +回不了头喽, 可真回不了头喽. +# p. 15 (contradicts later descriptions of Death as existing outside of time; +# presumably it's just intended as a colloquial expression) +%passage 16 +我可没有一整天的时间, 你知道的. +# p. 15 (same page) +%passage 17 +生活只属于活着的人. +# Mort, p. 148 (Signet edition) +%passage 18 +在这之前从未有人想与我说话. +# p. 149 +%passage 19 +我可没有哪怕一个朋友, 连小猫都觉得我好笑. +# Sourcery, p. 12 (Signet edition) +%passage 20 +你只是在拖延那必然的结局. +# Wyrd Sisters, p. 11 (ROC edition) +%passage 21 +我说的是曾经, 这叫过去时态, 你会习惯的. +# p. 13 +%passage 22 +别让它干扰你. +# Pyramids, p. 57 (ROC edition) +%passage 23 +我可以看出你有不少事情需要思考. +# Eric, p. 134 (Harper Torch edition) +%passage 24 +也许该收工了. +# Moving Pictures, p. 260 (ROC edition) +%passage 25 +我知道大家什么时候才会受够. +# Reaper Man, p. 10 (ROC edition) +%passage 26 +我总是按照我认为合适的方式去履行我的天职. +# p. 18 +%passage 27 +我并不因为我的幽默而著称. +# p. 160 +%passage 28 +我的意思是, 凡人皆有一死. +# p. 227 +%passage 29 +只因为某物是暗喻, 不能说它就是真的. +# p. 334 +%passage 30 +我总是一个人, 但至少此刻, 我想孤独地独处. +# Witches Abroad, p. 298 (Death's explanation why he didn't come for zombie 12 +# years earlier: YOU STOPPED LIVING. YOU NEVER DIED.) +%passage 31 +今晚我和你有一个约会. +%e title +%e section +# +#eof \ No newline at end of file