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| 1 | +# i truly am the most repulsive person in this earth |
| 2 | +<p class="github-only"> |
| 3 | + <b>hi curious github user skimming through my page's source code</b> |
| 4 | + <br> |
| 5 | + this markdown document may not be displayed properly because i have added custom """formatting""" that regular or github markdown doesn't have |
| 6 | + <br> |
| 7 | + consider viewing this document on my github pages instead! |
| 8 | +</p> |
| 9 | + |
| 10 | +just a couple hours ago as of the time writing this post [-time 1770719731552],\ |
| 11 | +i have destroyed almost if not all of the builds of an old "housing" of mine,\ |
| 12 | +[-mutter (a minecraft building plot world thing with a limited size hosted on the <a href="https://hypixel.net">hypixel network</a>, sorta like those "creative" worlds sometimes seen on minecraft servers)]\ |
| 13 | +solely because i wanted more space for building. |
| 14 | + |
| 15 | +the reason why i chose to destroy this "housing" was because i was completely maxed out on the amount of "housings" that i could have, and this "housing" was... pretty abandoned.\ |
| 16 | +no one joined it, no one cared about it [-mutter (or so i thought)]... it was just there. |
| 17 | + |
| 18 | +during the destruction i have chosen to preserve some of the builds only because i thought my girlfriend [-mutter (yes i have a girlfriend. yes i'm a lesbian.)] would miss them if they were gone.\ |
| 19 | +when she found out just a little bit later she was quite upset with me for... simply just destroying.\ |
| 20 | +she didn't really care that i saved the builds that i thought she cared about,\ |
| 21 | +she was just upset. |
| 22 | + |
| 23 | +when i asked her why was she upset,\ |
| 24 | +she simply responded with something like\ |
| 25 | +"i had fun memories here"\ |
| 26 | +"you destroyed history" |
| 27 | + |
| 28 | +granted i didn't think much of it at the time\ |
| 29 | +but i did eventually realize what she was on about\ |
| 30 | +*it didn't really matter that i saved some builds*.\ |
| 31 | +i didn't save the entire thing. like, ***the entire thing***. |
| 32 | + |
| 33 | +all of the blocks\ |
| 34 | +they had at least some history to them\ |
| 35 | +even if i were to rebuild it\ |
| 36 | +it wouldn't be **the same thing**. |
| 37 | + |
| 38 | +it would just be *a replica*. |
| 39 | + |
| 40 | +why was i so unreluctant to the destruction?\ |
| 41 | +why did i truly think my creations had no meaning to them?\ |
| 42 | +sure, none of my creations have ever done anything significant to anyone\ |
| 43 | +but\ |
| 44 | +at least they *existed*. |
| 45 | + |
| 46 | +i guess the actions of oneself really does speak up about the personality of themselves\ |
| 47 | +i truly felt nothing during the destruction of this minecraft world\ |
| 48 | + |
| 49 | +nothing.\ |
| 50 | +***nothing at all.*** |
| 51 | + |
| 52 | +it's starting to scare me now\ |
| 53 | +how empty i am |
| 54 | + |
| 55 | +the damage is done\ |
| 56 | +there is no coming back |
| 57 | + |
| 58 | +all i can do now\ |
| 59 | +[-mutter is hope that i don't make the same mistakes.] |
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